Author Topic: omfg its cold! QUICKLY WE MUST ALL MASTURBATE IN UNISON TO STAY WARM! (Read 2764 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** January 15, 2009, 09:30:34 PM »

I'm not a scientist, but the heat generated by the friction of millions of hands rubbing up and down in unison will undoubtedly create a heat wave that will thaw the cold temperatures and heat millions of homes!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #1 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:35:55 PM »

Farting is smh.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #2 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:37:50 PM »

demi can be the swing man

drew · « **Reply #3 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:38:27 PM »

im sure all the friction made by jinfash scrambling to stealth edit has raised earth's temperature by at least one degree since he joined

InterInside · « **Reply #4 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:39:15 PM »

Yeah Right . . .

Keep on Going until it's start to burn, that will make fires too

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #5 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:39:53 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 15, 2009, 09:37:50 PM

demi can be the swing man

What is a "swing man"?

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #6 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:41:06 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 15, 2009, 09:39:53 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 15, 2009, 09:37:50 PM
demi can be the swing man

What is a "swing man"?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

the one that gets jizzed on

[close]

Diunx · « **Reply #7 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:41:21 PM »

I'm doing my part as I type this.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #8 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:41:58 PM »

That's some impressive typing while masturbating!

TVC15 · « **Reply #9 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:43:31 PM »

How Grant Morrison of you, Willco.

demi · « **Reply #10 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:43:55 PM »

i just jerked off in a bathroom while using a laptop

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #11 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:44:56 PM »

Quote from: demi on January 15, 2009, 09:43:55 PM

i just jerked off in a bathroom while using a laptop

I prefer to use my hand, or at the very least cajole's

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #12 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:45:48 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on January 15, 2009, 09:43:31 PM

How Grant Morrison of you, Willco.

This is my first night in almost two weeks where I did not go to a bar after work. The withdrawal is obviously warping my brain.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #13 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:46:39 PM »

I bet wilco's chubby fingers and chubby cock generate lots of heat.

demi · « **Reply #14 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:46:48 PM »

Quote from: Night Man on January 15, 2009, 09:44:56 PM

Quote from: demi on January 15, 2009, 09:43:55 PM
i just jerked off in a bathroom while using a laptop

I prefer to use my hand, or at the very least cajole's

I kind of just sat there and mentally made myself cum

Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich · « **Reply #15 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:46:57 PM »

anybody cum yet?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

EAT THE BISCUIT

[close]

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #16 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:47:41 PM »

Quote from: Night Man on January 15, 2009, 09:44:56 PM

Quote from: demi on January 15, 2009, 09:43:55 PM
i just jerked off in a bathroom while using a laptop

I prefer to use my hand, or at the very least cajole's

sounds like that Louis C.K. bit

archie4208 · « **Reply #17 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:48:38 PM »

workin on it

drew · « **Reply #18 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:49:17 PM »

Quote from: demi on January 15, 2009, 09:46:48 PM

I kind of just sat there and mentally made myself cum

real ballers have a huge marble sink with lots of room

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #19 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:49:30 PM »

I'm not starting 'till demi tells me to.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #20 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:49:41 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 15, 2009, 09:45:48 PM

Quote from: TVC 15 on January 15, 2009, 09:43:31 PM
How Grant Morrison of you, Willco.

This is my first night in almost two weeks where I did not go to a bar after work. The withdrawal is obviously warping my brain.

Drinking in a bar every night? How very improvident and thriftless. Are you sure you're Jewish?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #21 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:52:19 PM »

Ah, but I use some job perks and my natural antagonistic charm to befriend the staff and get free drinks/food. It's all so very Jewish. The night before, I had two pints of beer, eight Jack & Cokes, two Irish car bombs (those were free if I did them with this cute server broad), an Irish coffee and chicken wings. For $44. Beat that, sucker!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #22 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:54:56 PM »

JEWS!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #23 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:56:57 PM »

I will probably stop because it's turning me into a borderline alcoholic, though. Now I feel all mopey, like Malek.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #24 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:58:38 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 15, 2009, 09:56:57 PM

I will probably stop because it's turning me into a borderline alcoholic, though. Now I feel all mopey, like Malek.

I feel like sunshine and lollipops; I'm drinking heavily though.

demi · « **Reply #25 on:** January 15, 2009, 09:59:11 PM »

Quote from: Drewsy on January 15, 2009, 09:49:17 PM

Quote from: demi on January 15, 2009, 09:46:48 PM
I kind of just sat there and mentally made myself cum

real ballers have a huge marble sink with lots of room

I'm not at home...

demi · « **Reply #26 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:00:32 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 15, 2009, 09:49:30 PM

I'm not starting 'till demi tells me to.

You could wait until I get home. I will squeeze another one out.

T234 · « **Reply #27 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:00:52 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 15, 2009, 09:56:57 PM

I will probably stop because it's turning me into a borderline alcoholic, though. Now I feel all mopey, like Malek.

At least you didn't puke on a friend of yer cousin's 360 controller, and then deny it more fiercely than Achmenijad denies the holocaust.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #28 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:01:57 PM »

i just came

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #29 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:04:52 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 15, 2009, 10:01:57 PM

i just came

What did you use?
Fan Graphs or Baseball Reference?

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #30 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:06:14 PM »

fangraphs

spoiler (click to show/hide)

david wright's page

[close]

demi · « **Reply #31 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:07:23 PM »

i will seriously jerk off to someones pic on here. i am extremely horny right now.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #32 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:08:25 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 15, 2009, 10:06:14 PM

fangraphs

spoiler (click to show/hide)
david wright's page
spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]
[close]

$113.6 value

$7.2 actual salary

I can see why you came.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #33 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:12:11 PM »

We should post Doctor Who erotic fanfic to get TVC excited!

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #34 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:13:33 PM »

Quote from: Willco on January 15, 2009, 10:12:11 PM

We should post Doctor Who erotic fanfic to get TVC excited!

Nah, this badboy is all TVC needs.

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #35 on:** January 15, 2009, 10:14:01 PM »

smh...

Yeti · « **Reply #36 on:** January 16, 2009, 12:26:37 AM »

Quote from: Jinfash on January 15, 2009, 10:21:51 PM

Quote from: demi on January 15, 2009, 10:07:23 PM
i will seriously jerk off to someones pic on here. i am extremely horny right now.

(Image removed from quote.)

Jinfash just plunged the world into another ice age. :'(

brawndolicious · « **Reply #37 on:** January 16, 2009, 12:28:44 AM »

It was up to the mid-70's today. It's 9:30 and I have the window open.

Robo · « **Reply #38 on:** January 16, 2009, 12:29:46 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on January 16, 2009, 12:28:44 AM

It was up to the mid-70's today. It's 9:30 and I have the window open.

SUCCESS

brawndolicious · « **Reply #39 on:** January 16, 2009, 12:31:06 AM »

California: We just masturbate better.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #40 on:** January 16, 2009, 12:47:21 AM »

I masturbated twice, and it only got colder. With the wind chill, it now feels like -43 Celsius, or -45 Fahrenheit.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #41 on:** January 16, 2009, 10:21:51 AM »

Everybody just JO'ing alone won't do it. We need a man pile.

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #42 on:** January 16, 2009, 10:38:19 AM »

I wore my new ski mask to work

spoiler (click to show/hide)

gonna rob a bank at lunch

[close]

Tauntaun · « **Reply #43 on:** January 16, 2009, 10:55:10 AM »

Quote from: DJ_Tet on January 16, 2009, 10:38:19 AM

I wore my new ski mask to work

spoiler (click to show/hide)
gonna rob a bank at lunch
[close]

FedEx me some cash k?

T234 · « **Reply #44 on:** January 16, 2009, 10:57:52 AM »

Quote from: DJ_Tet on January 16, 2009, 10:38:19 AM

I wore my new ski mask to work

spoiler (click to show/hide)
gonna rob a bank at lunch
[close]

You should totally bring Christian Laettner in on that shit, so that you'll get away with it. Be sure to have him step on people just to make extra sure you get away with it.

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #45 on:** January 16, 2009, 10:59:54 AM »

Quote from: T234 on January 16, 2009, 10:57:52 AM

Quote from: DJ_Tet on January 16, 2009, 10:38:19 AM
I wore my new ski mask to work

spoiler (click to show/hide)
gonna rob a bank at lunch
[close]

You should totally bring Christian Laettner in on that shit, so that you'll get away with it. Be sure to have him step on people just to make extra sure you get away with it.

Actually I'm gonna bring Rex Chapman as my getaway driver. I heard his college bought him a shiny red Corvette when he signed.

T234 · « **Reply #46 on:** January 16, 2009, 11:11:35 AM »

What can I say? There is a lot of love for guys named Prince here.

max__cool · « **Reply #47 on:** January 17, 2009, 01:58:01 PM »

We could always do Double Dutch Rudders, Its a little less gay, but you still get to keep that man on man intimacy.

News:

Author Topic: omfg its cold! QUICKLY WE MUST ALL MASTURBATE IN UNISON TO STAY WARM! (Read 2764 times)