Author Topic: A message on my work's forum  (Read 663 times)

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Reb

  • Hon. Mr. Tired
  • Senior Member
A message on my work's forum
« on: January 21, 2009, 10:27:44 AM »
Quote
It is with great sadness that I have to report that Ainsley Jarvis, the butler at the Huntingdon office, passed away last night. We first realised something was amiss when Gary and I visited the upstairs kitchen this morning and found the sink full of dirty crockery and cutlery. As some of you may know, if you had a meeting in the board room or a bit of lunch, all you needed to do was leave your dirty cups, plates and kfs in the sink and Ainsley would carefully wash them and put them away during the night. He was not a paid employee - he simply performed this necessary task as a way of paying us back for allowing him to sleep under the bushes outside reception.

The weather was particulary cold last night here in the Fens, but it still came as a great shock to us to find his frozen body outside the front door. He was still wearing his pinny and, poignantly, he still clutched his trusty bottle of Fairy Liquid in his grey, arthritic hand.

I am sure you will join with me in passing on our deepest condolences to his family. They have asked that no flowers be sent - just make a donation to the Currys & Comet Dishwashers for The Needy campaign.

On a more mundane note, this tragedy means that if you use the kitchen you will need to do your own washing up until a suitable unpaid replacement can be sourced.
brb

T234

  • Canadian Legal Expert and Hillballer
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2009, 10:29:20 AM »
Sounds like a shitty place to work.
UK

T234

  • Canadian Legal Expert and Hillballer
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2009, 10:37:26 AM »
EDIT: Wrong thread.
UK

Bocsius

  • is calmer than you are
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2009, 10:41:28 AM »
That's awesome satire.

Corporate America  :american

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2009, 10:52:40 AM »
hahahaha, nice. DO YOUR WASHING, fruits!
duc

demi

  • cooler than willco
  • Administrator
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2009, 10:53:29 AM »
"suitable unpaid replacement"

Damn it must have been ass for that previous guy
fat

Diunx

  • Humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2009, 10:59:25 AM »
Sounds like a great place to work, hobos washing your dishes is a great idea in this hard economic climate.
Drunk

muckhole

  • AMBASSADOR
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2009, 11:01:24 AM »
That's a pretty cold last line, but having said that, I'm not so sure having a dirty hobo wash your dishes is the height of sanitation to begin with.
fek

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2009, 11:02:31 AM »
it's a joke, nerds

they're tired of washing up for folks and want people to care enough to do it themselves

nerds! this is why america can't have nice things
duc

muckhole

  • AMBASSADOR
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2009, 11:07:41 AM »
Was that typed by your appointed office hobo, Prole?
fek

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #10 on: January 21, 2009, 11:17:23 AM »
normally, yes, but after tvc had his hands cut off at the last (dumpster-based) "morale event", the office hobo has really only been good for the occasional syphilitic blow job. :(
duc

HyperZoneWasAwesome

  • HastilyChosenUsername
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2009, 11:19:40 AM »
Ainsley Jarvis is a terrific butler name.
"Ainsley!  Fetch me my smoking jacket."

It just sounds so right.

Reb

  • Hon. Mr. Tired
  • Senior Member
Re: A message on my work's forum
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2009, 12:02:30 PM »
This is why Britain has nice things.
brb