Embarrassing moments or injuries?

[CurseoftheGods]

I was about 10 and my friends and I were throwing a beach volleyball around. One person threw it so hard at me that it broke my index finger (while I was trying to catch it). I have no idea of how it was possible. I had a tough time explaining it to the doctor. But seriously, that's how it happened.

Share your stories! Hopefully, they're not as shitty as mine.

[FatalT]

When I was 13 or 14 I was playing on a trampoline with some friends of mine who were both bigger than me. We got the idea to jump around with a beach ball on it. Someone tried to jump on it and hang on while the other two people jumped on the trampoline to bounce them around. Well, we figured why stop with one person? Let's get someone else to hang onto the other person's back and have them both fly around the trampoline on the beach ball.

That was a horrible idea. We bounced maybe 2 times until something horrible happened and I ended up biting a hole through my top lip. We were stupid kids so we didn't really want to tell anyone (hell I wanted to tell somebody) so we ran into my friend's basement and played around a bit. They got the bright idea to give me something to drink and to try to squirt through the hole so they handed me an orange citrus drink. Thanks guys, that burned like a bitch, but yes it did squirt through the hole which was actually pretty cool.

Anyway, I eventually went home so we had to tell my friend's mom about it but everything turned out to be okay. It took the hole in my lip a while to heal up but I was thinking about being a douchebag and putting a ring through it. I never did that thankfully because that's wilde homo.

[ToxicAdam]

I was about 10 on vacation with my family. I was swimming in a lake with a bunch of kids. One was being a cunt and grabbing mud and flinging it at us. So, I grabbed a handful of this runny, lake mud and whipped it at him. He was just rising out of the water and it got CAKED into both of his eyes.

I never heard a human being shriek so badly.

We were in the middle of BFE, so his parents had to rush him to a hospital about 30 minutes away. I felt awful and was sure the kid was going to be blind for life. I never found out what happened to him.

[Mr. Gundam]

Back in junior high when I still played baseball, a friend of mine was up to bat. The pitch was inside on him, so instead of jumping out of the way, he moved out of the batter's box and stretched his hand out over the plate. Ended up breaking three fingers.

[demi]

Tripped over a ramp and fucked my ankle up - baseball sized lump. Got to sit at home and play DREAMCAST all day

[CajoleJuice]

Back in junior high when I still played baseball, a friend of mine was up to bat. The pitch was inside on him, so instead of jumping out of the way, he moved out of the batter's box and stretched his hand out over the plate. Ended up breaking three fingers.

I'm guessing your friend didn't play much baseball? Christ.

[DJ_Tet]

I was about 10 on vacation with my family. I was swimming in a lake with a bunch of kids. One was being a cunt and grabbing mud and flinging it at us. So, I grabbed a handful of this runny, lake mud and whipped it at him. He was just rising out of the water and it got CAKED into both of his eyes.

I never heard a human being shriek so badly.

We were in the middle of BFE, so his parents had to rush him to a hospital about 30 minutes away. I felt awful and was sure the kid was going to be blind for life. I never found out what happened to him.

Holy shit, you're me.


We grew up on a lake and my cousins were visiting.  They had the idea to throw mud at their father, who was a pretty good ways away.  I unleashed a bomb of a shot that I could never repeat in a million years, and splatted the mud all over my baby cousin's eyes as she was being held by my uncle (her father.) 


It was a miracle shot, I too have heard those screams.  Being that my uncle is 6'7, I rightly assumed death was approaching and tried to lie my way out of the situation.  Luckily everything passed, but the guilt (and amazement at the throw) still continue in some part today. 

[Mr. Gundam]

Back in junior high when I still played baseball, a friend of mine was up to bat. The pitch was inside on him, so instead of jumping out of the way, he moved out of the batter's box and stretched his hand out over the plate. Ended up breaking three fingers.

I'm guessing your friend didn't play much baseball? Christ.

Nope. We'd been playing for almost ten years at this point, and his Dad was the head coach. He's just accident prone. He tripped and broke his arm one time.

[CajoleJuice]

Back in junior high when I still played baseball, a friend of mine was up to bat. The pitch was inside on him, so instead of jumping out of the way, he moved out of the batter's box and stretched his hand out over the plate. Ended up breaking three fingers.

I'm guessing your friend didn't play much baseball? Christ.

Nope. We'd been playing for almost ten years at this point, and his Dad was the head coach. He's just accident prone. He tripped and broke his arm one time.

That's not accident prone. That's distinguished mentally-challenged.

Or his dad was just a shitty coach.

[Brehvolution]

In JV football practice, I volunteered to be look team running back. The very first play I hit the hole and juke the safety, which is someone I hated at the school, but he dives and just catches the left side of my face mask making me bend to the left exposing my right ribs to the oncoming helmet of the corner back. I finished out practice but sprints were harder than normal.
I didn't go to the doctor for another 3 hours. Turns out I had 2 broken ribs and a punctured lung. They couldn't do anything about it except give me pain pills.

[Tauntaun]

In JV football practice, I volunteered to be look team running back. The very first play I hit the hole and juke the safety, which is someone I hated at the school, but he dives and just catches the left side of my face mask making me bend to the left exposing my right ribs to the oncoming helmet of the corner back. I finished out practice but sprints were harder than normal.
I didn't go to the doctor for another 3 hours. Turns out I had 2 broken ribs and a punctured lung. They couldn't do anything about it except give me pain pills.

YOU ARE A MAN!    SHOW ME THY COCK!   


Edit: At youth group in high school (i think) I jumped over these girls on a porch and broke my foot.     lame.

[Madrun Badrun]

A zipper, a penis, a young man to embarrassed to go the doctor, a lasting scar.   :'(

[Madrun Badrun]

   I only wish. 

[muckhole]

There was that time I went headfirst off a neighbour's trampoline into a pile of dogshit. I ran home crying with dogshit on my head, only to get into trouble for being on said trampoline, which my parents had forbidden.

[fistfulofmetal]

i farted in some black girls face back in 5th grade.

[Madrun Badrun]

There was that time I went headfirst off a neighbour's trampoline into a pile of dogshit. I ran home crying with dogshit on my head, only to get into trouble for being on said trampoline, which my parents had forbidden.

someone did that on my trampoline too!

[Tauntaun]

i farted in some black girls face back in 5th grade.

  fistfuloffarts!

[Bocsius]

When I was 12 or 13, we were painting the downstairs youth room at church. During a break, I was running across a neighboring lot when I tripped over an exposed root and slammed my face on an old rusty machine of some kind (forgot exactly what it was). Over one side of face, I had nasty bruises and scrapes all around my eye and cheek. In thinking about it, I'm extremely lucky not to have damaged the eye during all of that. Going to school for the next week or two was a real blast.

In high school, I was guarding a dude while playing basketball during phys ed. He head faked right into my eye, hitting the bone in the upper part of my eye socket. Hurt like you wouldn't believe. I had a nice black eye below and periods of swelling (from blood or whatever) above. Wouldn't you know that as soon as the black eye had faded, I guess a vessel above popped, which finally ended the swelling but gave me another black eye.

[ananus]

me and 3 friends walking on a saturday night to a party. we see a mall guard sitting on a chair. the mall is closed, the streets are dark, no one but of us is around.

me: look at dat, a mall guard. ya think he has a gun?
friend: of course he does.
me: nuh uh i dun think so. he's just a mall guard. he probably doesn't have a license.
friend: who the fuck would stay here all night protecting something without protection? he has a gun.
me: let's see if we can spot a gun then.

that's when he started noticing the 4 of us staring at him trying to find a gun. he got up, picked up a gun, pointed at us and said "THE FUCK YOU PRICKS LOOKIN AT!?". probably the time we ran the most in our lives. after we were done running...

friend: I TOLD YOU SO

[Brehvolution]

[Phoenix Dark]

Probably failing to complete a perfect season back when I was on a JV basketball team. The varsity team suuuuucked that year and we'd make fun of them all the time as we won games. Our final game was like a 3 hour trip in some small town; I'm not blaming the bus ride on our loss but damn, I was tired upon arrival.

We couldn't get anything working, but we were only down like 2-4 points for most of the game. We lost by 2 points and I remember feeling like shit as the clock's final seconds ticked away 

[CajoleJuice]

I was embarrassed for my varsity baseball teammates who cried after our last game. Myself and my best friend on the team, who I had played with since we were little kids, looked at each other like "wtf?"

[Phoenix Dark]

Seeing seniors cry after their last game= :'(

I knew them for awhile, and once I got to varsity many were seniors. They treated me like shit while I was on JV, and for good reason since I was an asshole, but once I joined varsity everything was cool.

I didn't cry BUT it was definitely an emotional thing

[Kestastrophe]

When I was a junior playing American Legion baseball during the summer as a secondbaseman, I took a ground ball off the cup. It made a really loud and hollow sound and I immediately started laughing as I tried to recover and get the runner going to second base. I think he ended up safe, I just remember that I was the only one laughing because I was the only one that could hear the sound. I pretty much felt like an idiot 

[Joe Molotov]

i farted in some black girls face back in 5th grade.

Video? 

[Robo]

I think I am just beginning phase 1 of my post-highschool baseball pitching injuries.  My shoulder has been bothering me the last few days, doing a weird bump and grind when I rotate it.  Although it's worth noting that this started the day after I got belligerently drunk at a friend's house and maybe was actin' a fool or fell down some stairs or something.  I'm still trying to work out the details.

[TVC15]

In New Years 00 or 01, I was in Philly at a friend's house where there was a rather large party.  I drank too much wine (see my previous thread on Box of Wine Club) and threw up everywhere and got really agressive, and there were a lot of people there.  So they kicked me out of the house and I wandered around Philly.  My car keys were still in the house (I wasn't going to drive--I wanted to sleep in my car because it was fuck cold).  I ended up throwing up over an overpass and sleeping in the fetal position on the hood of my car.

Maybe a year or so later I got picked up for an open container/public obnoxious intoxication and I threw up in a cop car.  Also in Philly.

[TVC15]

Also, one time I was at a house party in this abandoned house in Bloomsburg.  We were all filthy punk rock people then.  One of my newer friends at the time (I knew him for maybe two months) said he was a fan of The Police.  Being drunk and probably loaded on meth or coke, I wouldn't drop trolling him.  I was on his ass all night about how the Police were lame and Sting was gay and Sting was a pussy.  At some point, he was just so pissed at my obnoxiousness that he fucking punched me in the face.  I was an emaciated little bitch back then, so I went down easy and he broke the crown on my front tooth.  Or maybe he broke the tooth and that was when it first had to get crowned.  I forget.

[TVC15]

That was actually before I threw up every day, too.  I guess there is just some fated connection between vomit and me.

[TVC15]

Oh, my other good early vomit story is when I went to see Goldeneye in a movie theater.  Before the movie, I consumed an entire bottle of robitussin and a bunch of vodka.  Naturally, I puked during the course of the movie.  I remember Pierce Brosnan's face taking up the entire screen when it happened, which is bizarre because that doesn't really make sense with a wide screen movie.  It would have to have been a really gross close up.  Anyway, because of the stadium-ish seating in the movie theater, the puke started spilling towards the front of the joint, and it smelled just as you'd think robitussin and vodka-flavored vomit would smell.  I then left the theater, paranoid as all fuck.

[goactu]

When I was 4 my dad was cutting wood, told me to stay in the truck, obviously listening to him was just silly. I got out of the truck came up behind him to ask a question and caught the chainsaw on the side of my face, 80 some stitches from that one. I also should have taken it as a sign to be more careful.

When I was around 11 or so my back caught on fire in church from a candle while I was waiting to do a reading. I thought I noticed it was feeling warm but couldn't figure out why, then the priest was hitting me on the back, kids were freaking out and I saw flames over my shoulder. (Ruined my new blue jays world series champs sweater too).

Grade 8 I snapped one of my front teeth in half on a metal garbage can. It was a play day or some crap and I was the team captain, wanting to win I made an awesome dive to catch the ball thrown by the grade 1 girl so I'd get the points for my team. Tooth + garbage can != win.

Those were probably the most serious but there were quite a few other stories, needless to say I was pretty stupid as a child when it came to my safety. Fortunately I'm accident free since 2000!

[xnikki118x]

My first broken arm happened in 1997 when I fell down the steps at my grandparents' house.

My second broken arm happened like 6 months later when I tried to jump a dirt pile with my mountain bike. I flew off the top of the pile, came off my bike in the air, landed on the basketball court, slid, and my bike landed on top of me.

I also got a concussion in 2002 or 2003 from falling down the stairs at my parents' house and hitting my head off them.

Really accident prone.

[Robo]

 

[cool breeze]

My one major injury of breaking my arm was embarrassing since no one believed me when I said I broke it playing football.

[CajoleJuice]

dcharlie, that is awesome

that happened to me on the bus once

i sneezed ALL OVER my hands and the seat in front of me

[The Fake Shemp]

When I was in middle school, I fucked up my ankle when I tripped on a curb chasing the school bus.  I was on crutches for awhile.  Some douche kicked my ankle and said it really didn't hurt that bad, making my recovery time worse.  The last day on crutches, when I was pretty good to walk, I came up to him and beat the shit out of him with my crutches.  I got in-school suspension for a week.

[CajoleJuice]

That's not really an embarrassing story, Willco. Stop trying to act tough.

[The Fake Shemp]

I hurt my ankle tripping over a CURB chasing the SCHOOL BUS FULL OF KIDS.  How is that NOT embarrassing?

I went face first too.

[CajoleJuice]

ok, that's better

[huckleberry]

One of my most embarrassing moments was also with snot.  I was in class in elementary school and sneezed really hard into my hands.  I have a innate fear of blowing my nose so all the gooey snot that could have been expelled earlier came out; but instead of going into my hands (which must have been covered in teflon) it completely bounced off of them and blew back into my face.  I looked like a kid who had just blown the largest bubble in the world and then blew it back into my face.  I had to ask my teacher to be excused and the girl in front of me vomited when she turned around...getting vomit on my legs.  I then walked to the bathroom, having to walk through two other classes to get there with my face covered in bright green snot and my legs below the knee covered in bright orange puke.


Looking back on it I have to laugh....but at the time  :'(

[The Fake Shemp]

And I wasn't trying to imply I was tough - just stupid.  I got lots of suspensions in middle school, because I had a bad temper.  I almost got kicked out of the magnet program for carrying a "concealed weapon" (a badass sling shot - wtf MoCo public schools!).

Same magnet program, some kid tossed a highlighter at my head, so I throw a schoolbook at his and kicked him in the shins until he was crying.  His parents threatened to sue me.  I did a similar tactic a few years later in high school, when one of my friends was being pushed around by a guy that had a few pounds on me at lunch, so I picked up my canvas bag full of like five big books and hit him in the head with it at full force.  Multiple times.  I was lucky I didn't give the guy a concussion or have charges pressed against me.

Fighting kids is never smart or tough - it's just dumb butthurt pride.

[tiesto]

i farted in some black girls face back in 5th grade.

[CajoleJuice]

Ok, here's my story.

Middle school art class - we were making paper mache masks. I was always doing stupid shit in the class, and I had the idea that it would be hilarious if I spilled the HUGE can of paste that we were using. I got my friends at my table to pitch in to give me 5 bucks if I spilled it. So at the end of the class, as I'm walking over to dump the paste into the sink, I pretend to slip and I juggle the can, doing my best acting job. I drop the can, but then I manage to step in the massive growing pool of paste, and I slip -- sending my body totally horizontal -- and fall right in the puddle.

I had to wear my gym clothes for the rest of the day.


Willco: I had a pretty bad temper when I was a kid too. I didn't totally beat the shit out of kids though, I just punched them in the face once, and usually that was enough. This is like elementary school, though.

[Barry Egan]

at school, we went into our French class and the classroom had been painted this horrid green colour.

we all laughed, looking at it, whilst waiting for the french teacher to turn up.

I joked about how i though i knew where the paint had came from, and mimed blowing snot out of my nose.
Unfortunately for me , my right nostril was infact full loaded. A huge long green snot trail came screaming out of my nostril, disgusting the girl i liked and making everyone else either lol or go "WTF?!"

at this point i hear the french teacher behind us go "<mysecondname>!! what are you doing?!"

i spin my head round quickly...

... projecting the snot trail in such a way that warps around from my nostril and round the side of my face, round my neck and to the back of my head.

With no tissues, i was forced to do the walk of shame from the class to the toilets with snot caked around my face. :/

 

[Tauntaun]

One of my most embarrassing moments was also with snot.  I was in class in elementary school and sneezed really hard into my hands.  I have a innate fear of blowing my nose so all the gooey snot that could have been expelled earlier came out; but instead of going into my hands (which must have been covered in teflon) it completely bounced off of them and blew back into my face.  I looked like a kid who had just blown the largest bubble in the world and then blew it back into my face.  I had to ask my teacher to be excused and the girl in front of me vomited when she turned around...getting vomit on my legs.  I then walked to the bathroom, having to walk through two other classes to get there with my face covered in bright green snot and my legs below the knee covered in bright orange puke.


Looking back on it I have to laugh....but at the time  :'(

 

[huckleberry]

The snot was in my hair and everything.

Growing up I lived in a very rural area and it wasn't very convenient for my parents to come and get me or bring me a change of clothes so they washed my clothes at school.  So, for the a couple of hours, I had to wear a pair of plaid pants with bell bottoms (I am Prole old)....

[Yeti]

i farted in some black girls face back in 5th grade.

This reminds me of a story from my elementary school. At recess I was playing with a bunch of kids, and one of the kids started pissing me off so I called him a turd. He ran off to tell the teacher, and I'm like whatever turd go cry to the teachers.

Next thing I know I have some teachers calling me into their office from recess accusing me that when I called this kid a turd I was making some racist remark (wtf teachers). I missed almost all of my recess convincing them that I wasn't being racist, my friends all had to give witness statements about it, and I actually had to apologize to the kid for calling him a turd, even though he was being a turd.

[Brehvolution]

i farted in some black girls face back in 5th grade.

This reminds me of a story from my elementary school. At recess I was playing with a bunch of kids, and one of the kids started pissing me off so I called him a turd. He ran off to tell the teacher, and I'm like whatever turd go cry to the teachers.

Next thing I know I have some teachers calling me into their office from recess accusing me that when I called this kid a turd I was making some racist remark (wtf teachers). I missed almost all of my recess convincing them that I wasn't being racist, my friends all had to give witness statements about it, and I actually had to apologize to the kid for calling him a turd, even though he was being a turd.

That reminds me of 8th grade. A friend of mines last name was Bonham so we all called him condom for whatever reason. My homeroom teacher, who was mad cunt, heard me call him that and took me to the principals office and watched as she made me call my mom and tell her what I did.

Me: hi mom. Sorry to bother you at work, but Mrs. cuntbag thought you should know that I called Chris a condom.

Mom: So.......