Author Topic: How's your defecating? (Read 1439 times)

Tieno · « **on:** February 09, 2009, 07:04:59 AM »

Mine is really good, I go every day and it's always a shitload. I'm always surprised when people say they can spend such a long time shitting. With me, it usually bursts out in a few seconds and then the rest is dedicated to wiping. Usually doesn't take more than a minute or two and I'm done. I've been dubbed the 'speedkakker' (speedshitter) by mom and brother cause I do it so fast.

Tieno · « **Reply #1 on:** February 09, 2009, 07:08:32 AM »

Quote from: Green Shinobi on February 09, 2009, 07:07:47 AM

Was this really necessary?

Limits to ebore?

You don't talk about this?

Himu · « **Reply #2 on:** February 09, 2009, 07:11:30 AM »

I love pooping. It feels sooooooo good.

MCD · « **Reply #3 on:** February 09, 2009, 08:06:45 AM »

i was having problems couple of days ago, ate fruits and veggies and now it's all fast and good.

though i need to be faster at wiping.

Reb · « **Reply #4 on:** February 09, 2009, 09:37:58 AM »

Twice a day, pretty solid, takes about a minute per shit.

Unless I drink a lot, then all hell breaks loose.

Tieno · « **Reply #5 on:** February 09, 2009, 09:42:32 AM »

Japanese toilet with the sprinklers -> bidet. The best pooping experiences have been in japan, never been so clean. Always searched for those waterjet toilets.

Quote from: jarosh on February 09, 2009, 07:12:17 AM

you're really obsessed with pooping, aren't you tieno

Can you tell?

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #6 on:** February 09, 2009, 09:43:09 AM »

i've won awards

Bloodwake · « **Reply #7 on:** February 09, 2009, 10:12:08 AM »

It's shitty.

Diunx · « **Reply #8 on:** February 09, 2009, 10:21:27 AM »

I'm taking my morning pooping right now

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #9 on:** February 09, 2009, 10:23:27 AM »

Quote from: Tieno on February 09, 2009, 09:42:32 AM

Japanese toilet with the sprinklers -> bidet. The best pooping experiences have been in japan, never been so clean. Always searched for those waterjet toilets.

They have them at Amazon, there was an eye-opening thread at GAF about $700 toilet seats, although there is a version available for like $350.

As someone who's never used a bidet, I have to say it's really opened my mind to how clean I should be back there, and how much time I spend trying to get clean when I should just be washing my ass.

It's common sense, really.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #10 on:** February 09, 2009, 11:30:51 AM »

I've been a wet wipe guy since about 1999.

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #11 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:08:16 PM »

anyone notice how the gays are staying out of this thread?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

cept for Jinfash

[close]

Himu · « **Reply #12 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:11:17 PM »

I don't think people have trouble shitting for the most part Tieno. I poop pretty fast, but I always read and stuff when I crap.

muckhole · « **Reply #13 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:12:38 PM »

I poop so fast I put a spoiler above my ass.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:17:29 PM »

also, wet wipes are the shit. No teeny tiny toilet paper caught in butt hair!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #15 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:35:16 PM »

I hate when it's quick. The slow prodding turds feel so good

TVC15 · « **Reply #16 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:37:11 PM »

I already told you about how consuming an entire bottle of scotch tends to render my poop entirely black and liquid, right?

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #17 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:46:53 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on February 09, 2009, 11:55:47 AM

Anybody else read a lot while on the shitter?

I can sit for an hour with a good book. No doubt.

Tetris DS is best played while taking a shit.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #18 on:** February 09, 2009, 01:11:54 PM »

dookie

being a man

Tieno · « **Reply #19 on:** February 09, 2009, 01:49:33 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on February 09, 2009, 11:55:47 AM

Anybody else read a lot while on the shitter?

I can sit for an hour with a good book. No doubt.

No, all my power and concentration is focused on the 'dookie'. When I'm on the toilet I'm either pushing or wiping...after that I don't feel like reading, just gtfo and wash my hands.

lordmaji · « **Reply #20 on:** February 09, 2009, 02:39:21 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on February 09, 2009, 07:11:30 AM

I love pooping. It feels sooooooo good.

+head it's heaven on porcelain.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #21 on:** February 09, 2009, 10:21:45 PM »

Not well. Pretty bad actually. $:-\$

xnikki118x · « **Reply #22 on:** February 09, 2009, 10:24:46 PM »

I don't have butt hair to get toilet paper stuck in.

I've never used a bidet and don't understand how they could possibly work. Don't you have to then dry yourself off, anyway? What if the water drips down your legs and gets your pants wet?

Himu · « **Reply #23 on:** February 10, 2009, 10:16:51 AM »

the worst thing ever is when you wipe and the toilet paper drops into the toilet and so you accidentally wipe your booty with a cold, wet ass piece of paper.

btw I had an AWFUL shit yesterday. Just horrible. I was glad to get off my throne yesterday.

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #24 on:** February 10, 2009, 10:21:27 AM »

Quote from: xnikki118x on February 09, 2009, 10:24:46 PM

I don't have butt hair to get toilet paper stuck in.

I've never used a bidet and don't understand how they could possibly work. Don't you have to then dry yourself off, anyway? What if the water drips down your legs and gets your pants wet?

I have this question too. It's my understanding there may be soap and towels involved?

Also, the $700 toilet seat I mentioned earlier has two settings for water, one only used for females

Himu · « **Reply #25 on:** February 10, 2009, 10:30:26 AM »

Bidet's just seem like hard work, Americans are LAZY. Bidet's are un-American.

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #26 on:** February 10, 2009, 10:44:11 AM »

The older I get, the longer I have to wipe. I'm tired of wiping.

Tell me more about these wet wipes!

Himu · « **Reply #27 on:** February 10, 2009, 11:08:10 AM »

these are great

i mean look at that cute lil puppy

if you see the puppy, that means they're good wet wipes

Wet Wipes scored #3 on reasons this guy loves America!

Quote

Convenient Cleanliness. I’m specifically referring to the wet wipes for the toilet, although the ones for the kitchen, your eyeglasses, and baby bottoms are also in the same family of Reasons I Love America.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand a dirty butt. The thought of skidmarks in underwear is nauseous. Dry toilet paper pretty much just smears the, let’s call it waste, around and leaves your tail brilliantly coated in a thin layer of waste. And along came wet wipes. Now you can shock your butt into submission with a freezing dose of cleanliness.

What used to take a floor’s worth of toilet paper to half-ass clean your butt now takes 2 or 3 fresh scented wet wipes. It’s the environmentally friendly green way to wipe your butt. If you play your cards right, you could probably reuse your underwear in the case of an emergency.

I remember hearing about the good old days of communism where paper toilet paper was hard to come by. Here in America, toilet paper is passé. If you aren’t using wet wipes, you may be here illegally and we’re going to need to check your papers.

:usa

http://reasonsiloveamerica.com/

cool breeze · « **Reply #28 on:** February 10, 2009, 11:18:27 AM »

I've used wet wipes my whole life. Only brief times I didn't were when I went on a road trip with some friends and visited family in Iran or Europe for long periods. Bidets weren't bad, but using toilet paper sucks.

btw, have you ever had a situation where you see a heavy set guy walk out of a bathroom sweating, then you walk in and notice the foulest stench you could imagine? that just happened. I was about to barf as I was washing my hands.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #29 on:** February 10, 2009, 06:54:15 PM »

I hate not using wet wipes. Dry ones get all flakey and stick to your asshairs.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #30 on:** February 10, 2009, 08:24:23 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on February 10, 2009, 04:14:07 AM

Quote from: xnikki118x on February 09, 2009, 10:24:46 PM
I don't have butt hair to get toilet paper stuck in.

Male bore annihilated.

Male bore (minus Father_Mike) you mean.

muckhole · « **Reply #31 on:** February 10, 2009, 08:42:50 PM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov on February 10, 2009, 08:24:23 PM

Quote from: Kosma on February 10, 2009, 04:14:07 AM
Quote from: xnikki118x on February 09, 2009, 10:24:46 PM
I don't have butt hair to get toilet paper stuck in.

Male bore annihilated.

Male bore (minus Father_Mike) you mean.

Yup. He's so friction-free down there he can barely sit on a toilet seat without slipping off.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #32 on:** February 10, 2009, 08:51:35 PM »

Quote from: xnikki118x on February 09, 2009, 10:24:46 PM

I don't have butt hair to get toilet paper stuck in.

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Author Topic: How's your defecating? (Read 1439 times)