Author Topic: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?  (Read 2875 times)

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2009, 04:06:21 PM »
The title sounds like something out of The Onion.
野球

Flannel Boy

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2009, 04:07:35 PM »
So Tracy Jordan hasn't purchased and reopened Lehman Brothers and rehired all the unemployed bankers and executives?

ToxicAdam

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2009, 04:16:41 PM »
The future Gyro makers of America. :usacry

Brehvolution

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2009, 04:23:22 PM »
 How many aspects of thievery can you be trained in?

I may be blind, but what exactly are they being trained to do?
©ZH

Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2009, 04:32:24 PM »
They'll magically get jobs as consultants, doing a whole lot of nothing for way too much money.
野球

The Fake Shemp

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2009, 04:33:21 PM »
They'll be retrained and reprogrammed as the soldiers of the future!!!
PSP

Eric P

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2009, 04:36:58 PM »
They'll magically get jobs as consultants, doing a whole lot of nothing for way too much money.

that sounds far more exciting than my current career

do i have to go to school for that?
Tonya

FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2009, 04:48:42 PM »
Im sure a boiler-room esque scenario will ensue

drew

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2009, 04:50:19 PM »
quiet you gun-hugging fuck

FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2009, 04:51:30 PM »
quiet you gun-hugging fuck

Who are you? Are you MAF? I dont know who is who with all these stuipid name changes.

drew

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2009, 04:57:21 PM »
eh nvm
« Last Edit: February 18, 2009, 05:08:32 PM by Drewsy »

Kestastrophe

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2009, 05:11:55 PM »
:bow Nadal

More proof that shitheads get farther in lifeTM. The walmart generation continues (i.e. money made off the sweat of other's backs)
jon

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2009, 05:15:28 PM »
I would think investment bankers would be relatively likely to have the resources to retrain themselves.
QED

Van Cruncheon

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2009, 05:19:16 PM »
they spent all their monies on bmws, armani suits, dinners at dorsia, and paying off the cops
duc

Kestastrophe

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2009, 05:20:37 PM »
slightly related:

How on earth does Nardelli (chrysler CEO) get to keep his job? After receiving billions in bailout cash, and then requesting more in the plan submitted to congress yesterday, his restructuring plans involve reducing capacity by 100k cars a year (out of 12M total capacity)? What a fucking joke.
jon

FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2009, 05:22:13 PM »
slightly related:

How on earth does Nardelli (chrysler CEO) get to keep his job? After receiving billions in bailout cash, and then requesting more in the plan submitted to congress yesterday, his restructuring plans involve reducing capacity by 100k cars a year (out of 12M total capacity)? What a fucking joke.

He wouldn't have a job if Chrysler went out of business... Just sayin.

siamesedreamer

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2009, 05:42:30 PM »
This is fucking distinguished mentally-challenged.

Eric P

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2009, 05:44:19 PM »
Goldman Sachs Partners Borrow to Cover Margin Calls
GOLDMAN SACHS, GS, GASPARINO, CHARLIE GASPARINO
Posted By: Charlie Gasparino | On-Air Editor
CNBC.com
| 18 Feb 2009 | 01:25 PM ET

Tough times on Wall Street are reaching all the way to the highest levels of the most storied former investment bank—Goldman Sachs—as partners there are being forced to borrow money to cover margin calls, according to sources within the firm.

Several Goldman Sachs partners have leveraged their Goldman Sachs stock to buy alternative investments such as hedge funds & private equity, and they have done so through their Goldman Sachs brokerage accounts.

But Goldman stock has declined in value by more than 50 percent since last spring, meaning that Goldman Sachs is in the awkward position of making margin calls on its own partners, who can't meet those calls because their alternative investments are underwater and they don't have enough cash on hand.

Now those partners are being forced to borrow money—millions of dollars—to meet Goldman Sachs' own margin calls.

Sources at Goldman told CNBC that the borrowing is not a widespread phenomenon. It affects a "few" partners, sources say. But it is significant enough that the firm is arranging for its own financial advising firm to help facilitate borrowing for partners that need the money.

Buying stock on margin—basically on credit—is inherently risky. When markets turn down and stock values fall, the people who offer that credit call their clients, needing more cash to make up the lost value. These "margin calls" are a classic sign of bad times in the market all the way back to the depression, and now they're back, big time.
# Get Real-Time Quotes for Goldman Sachs

Margin calls are fairly common on Wall Street and there are several high profile examples of top execs being squeezed by margin calls—Sumner Redstone of Viacom and Chairman/CEO Aubrey McClendon of Chesapeake Energy, for example.
© 2009 CNBC.com

URL: http://www.cnbc.com/id/29260008/
Tonya

BlueTsunami

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2009, 05:47:53 PM »
slightly related:

How on earth does Nardelli (chrysler CEO) get to keep his job? After receiving billions in bailout cash, and then requesting more in the plan submitted to congress yesterday, his restructuring plans involve reducing capacity by 100k cars a year (out of 12M total capacity)? What a fucking joke.

Sounds like he's planning his own "Bailout"
:9

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2009, 05:50:11 PM »
Sounds like they got a pretty sweet thing going for them.

As for getting pissed about this, well, this is Reaganomics at its worst but Reaganomics nonetheless.  Bailing out poorly run banks is as American as apple pie, starting with the Savings and Loans in the 80s.
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Brehvolution

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2009, 08:04:35 PM »
Trillions of dollars lost on a bluff.

©ZH

Human Snorenado

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2009, 08:20:04 PM »
Hopefully they'll be retrained as human crash test dummies or cum receptacles for the AIDS set.  If there was any justice, they'd have their heads fucking cut off on the steps of the NYSE.
yar

drew

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2009, 08:27:06 PM »
theres more people who are switching companies than there are getting fired

my dad just had a meeting with a ton of Merrill Lynch employees who are planning to make the switch today

of course all of the secretaries of these people will likely be fired when they leave

its like a recruiting clusterfuck right now, every single company is trying to snipe a deal w/ a financial advisor from competitors

Human Snorenado

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2009, 08:35:53 PM »
That's what is so fucking frustrating about this- the fucking "geniuses" that got us into this (who are in fact a bunch of half-bright, self-entitled assholes that are on average about as bright as Arvie, just more oblivious to their own dumbness) are going to go right back into the system and start shitting it up again.  Even if they do change the regulations, these human leeches will look for new ways to ruin things and line their own pockets.  These are the people that Greenspan thought would be able to police themselves... fucking libertarians.
yar

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2009, 08:36:34 PM »
In no way is this a bailout. Sorry.
vjj

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2009, 08:50:08 PM »
I'm bewildered at the hate in this thread. It's like every evil former Master of the Universe is being given $45 mil each to start their own hedge fund or something. Are we all reading the same article?
vjj

Human Snorenado

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2009, 08:50:54 PM »
I'm bewildered at the hate in this thread. It's like every evil former Master of the Universe is being given $45 mil each to start their own hedge fund or something. Are we all reading the same article?

Doesn't matter- they should all be lined up and shot.  Anything is too good for them.
yar

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2009, 08:51:33 PM »
In no way is this a bailout. Sorry.
capt. no fun :'(

Well, you're in effect howling for MY job here, dude....there is a limit to my sense of humor on this topic ;)
vjj

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2009, 08:53:31 PM »
I'm bewildered at the hate in this thread. It's like every evil former Master of the Universe is being given $45 mil each to start their own hedge fund or something. Are we all reading the same article?

Doesn't matter- they should all be lined up and shot. Anything is too good for them.

Well, i think it's time to stop taking YOU seriously.
vjj

Human Snorenado

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2009, 08:55:10 PM »
I'm bewildered at the hate in this thread. It's like every evil former Master of the Universe is being given $45 mil each to start their own hedge fund or something. Are we all reading the same article?

Doesn't matter- they should all be lined up and shot. Anything is too good for them.

Well, i think it's time to stop taking YOU seriously.

Yeah, because the people who ruined the economy should be allowed to keep ruining it without any repercussions.  That'll show 'em!
yar

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2009, 08:55:45 PM »
Quote from: John Emerson
Instead of a Finance Czar, who’d inevitably be bamboozled by his evil court, I propose a roving band of unruly Finance Cossacks to wreak havoc on the sorry ass of Finance. This could have a sort of Roman Circus effect, reducing the possibility of social disorder by distracting the newly unemployed and homeless, who instead of grumbling about their own problems would be rejoicing about other people’s problems.

These would have to be semi-professional New Reform Cossacks trained to make no ethnic distinctions whatsoever during their rampages. (If they were completely professionalized, however, they’d lose much of their effectiveness. Rampaging and havoc are more art than science and can’t really be routinized or adequately described by written protocols.)

One of the hard things about modern finance, from a Cossack’s point of view, is that it’s so abstract that it’s almost impossible to plunder. Beyond the fact that a lot of finance is bankrupt anyway, it’s not like the Cossacks could carry off billions of dollars worth of tranches or commercial paper and monetize it. They’d have to be salaried, and incented with a system of bounties and bonuses.

Sure, we can expect these Finance Cossacks to take over the executive power sooner or later, the way the mostly-Turkish Mamluk soldier-slaves took over in Egypt. Hopefully they’ll be a little better than our present rulers, but who knows? I say go for it.

where does Triumph go to sign up?
QED

Human Snorenado

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2009, 08:58:30 PM »
dc, I know that the people who have lost their jobs are collateral damage.  That's not who I'm looking at killing, sorry if my ranting wasn't clear.

And recursive, you know the score.  I'd be down to be a financial Cossack.
yar

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2009, 09:04:20 PM »
And the only logical repercussion is mass murder. C'mon on now.

If you're just ranting for comic effect, it's not funny. If you're ranting because you're mad, this is about the least egregious step in the entire series of events since Lehman folded. There's not much to get mad about here.

If you're even remotely serious though...jesus wept.
vjj

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2009, 09:07:42 PM »
I know some pretty brilliant software people in finance, actually.
QED

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2009, 09:10:16 PM »
I know some pretty brilliant software people in finance, actually.

This shouldn't surprise anyone. The high salaries attract great people. NYC doesn't want those folks to move out of town to go work for Google and stop paying state taxes. This program is ultimately going to be trivial in its impact but I can see it doing a lot more good than harm.
vjj

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2009, 09:11:04 PM »
Quote
I know some pretty brilliant software people in finance, actually.

awwww, thanks !  :-[

How IS that Robotron clone for the GBA coming along then DC :p
vjj

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2009, 09:17:42 PM »
You see? Take away the high salary and he can't/won't program for shit!

Market forces reign supreme confirmed ttl.
vjj

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2009, 09:49:28 PM »
Yes, but your (relatively) low salary back then was an aberration that soon corrected itself when you switched industries.

Are you saying your current salary is NOT reflective of your coding ability though? To try to get this back to somethign vaguely relevant to the OP, we're both just contending that a lot of incredibly talented people have been drawn to the finance industry that don't spend their days brokering evil schemes to defraud The Card Cheat, are we not?

(why would I be surprised at what a motivator needing to get paid is btw? i'd be spending my days playing games, getting wasted, cooking, whacking off and doing Crossfit if not for the mouths to feed back home)
vjj

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #39 on: February 18, 2009, 09:51:40 PM »
money actually isn't all that much of a motivator for me, personally.
QED

Cormacaroni

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #40 on: February 18, 2009, 09:52:57 PM »
money actually isn't all that much of a motivator for me, personally.

but then, what is
vjj

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #41 on: February 18, 2009, 09:57:41 PM »
Links motivate me to click on them, leaving me little time for other motivators to exploit.
QED

Flannel Boy

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Re: The useless people who started this mess are getting a bailout?
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2009, 09:58:26 PM »
Links motivate me to click on them, leaving me little time for other motivators to exploit.

 :lol