well done Malek, well done.
I'm just going to do a flashback scene that can be stuck anywhere. I dare not ruin such already wonderful continuity.
(RUTHERFORD RECOLLECTS ON A TRAUMATIC PART OF HIS CHILDHOOD)
(enter CUTE RUTHERFORD, CR will be portrayed by a 8-10 year old boy, very cute)
(CUTE RUTHERFORD, his MOM, and his WORTHLESS YOUNGER BROTHER CHUANCY PRESTON RUTHERFORD are seen in the frontyard of their palatial estate on a hot summer day)
MOM
How well did you do with your lemonade stand dearie?
RUTHERFORD
Really swell Ma. Lookit this, I've made $780 just today, I've got to be the richest kid on this block!
MOM
Now, now dear. Don't forget the neighborhood we're living in.
RUTHERFORD
Okay, the richest kid with the last name RUTHERFORD! (beams a jack-o-lantern grin)
MOM
And how did you enjoy your day Chauncy?
CHAUNCY
It was great Mom. I went out with my friends to the museum and learned all about the history of art in Belarus. Then we went on a nature hike and appreciated nature's natural splendor.
RUTHERFORD
Ha ha, Chauncy is so funny. While you were off getting grass stains on your pants and hanging at your stupid loser-ium. I was getting filthy rich by working hard. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
(A familiar and pleasing sound is heard far off in the distance, and slowly growing louder)
CHAUNCY
Mommy, the ice cream truck is coming. Can I have a dollar to buy a popsicle?
MOM
I'd love to just give you some money sweetheart, but your Daddy has all the credit cards, bank accounts, checkbooks, and cash in the family, and you know how he feels about just handing out money. Its just something we don't do.
CHAUNCY
Ahhh shucks. (looks dejected in the cutest manner possible)
RUTHERFORD
Ha ha. Sucks to be you! I bet you wish you hadn't spent all your time filling your head with stupid 'facts' and 'respect to the world at large' now, do ya you filthy, useless bum.
MOM
John! That's not nice at all to scorn your brother for his different and admittedly wrong life decisions. The proper way to scorn others is to either question their patriotism or judgment or good sense. Making fun of him for being poor, while still his fault, does nothing to show him how he may remedy his situation.
CHAUNCY
Thanks Mom!
MOM
Be quiet you. The rich people are talking.
RUTHERFORD
So how do I demonstrate my superiority to the mentally disabled, I mean poor?
MOM
Well sweetheart, you treat them as you would a person who is sick and refuses to take their medicine. In fact, that's very much what poverty is like. They could all fix their problems if only they had the will to act, and there's no other sociological reason or otherwise people are poor besides just laziness or the occiasional misguided soul who actually believes all that crap about "equality". If God meant for everyone in the world to be equal, why did he make America the best place on earth?
RUTHERFORD
Golly Mom, when you put it that way it all makes so much sense.
MOM
John darling. I'm afraid I have to punish you for stating things that people like us are only supposed to think or talk to amongsts themselves. I want you to take your brother to the ice cream truck and buy him the most expensive thing they have. Then I want you to buy ice cream for all the children crowded around the truck.
RUTHERFORD
But Mom, Chauncy's sundae alone could cost me four whole dollars! And with everybody else's ice cream, I'd only be left with hundreds more afterwords. ITS NOT FAIR!
MOM
I'm sorry John. This is something you have to learn. You can only value what you have when you must give it away to those who don't deserve it.
RUTHERFORD
(angrily curses the world) From this day forth, I'll see to it that nobody has to share anything, ever again!
and scene.
spoiler (click to show/hide)
or he could wake up from this nightmare with a dildo in his ass courtesy of his new friend, I dunno
