tl;dr skip down.
Okay, I've been trying to get back together with my ex. (First warning sign) She has a long history of not telling the truth, trying to turn others against me, causing drama, talking about others behind their backs, etc etc the list goes on. Why I want to get back together with her, I'll never fucking know. But for some fucked up reason, I do. It's got to be love. If it weren't I wouldn't be so goddamn distinguished mentally-challenged, or so I'd hope.
Anyway, we had been talking about it. She goes to school about an hour and a half away, which to me who works a full time job with a fair amount of overtime, is a ways away. She informs me that instead of coming home to here for the summer like I thought she would, she will be staying there and working at the school and taking a class or two to stay out of this town. This hits me with some shock, I mean I was really hoping she'd put the bad memories of the place behind her and just come home to be with me but hey fuck it happens. So I'm like, okay. Sure. Right. So I go to work. When I get to work, she texts me "I love you" which she hasn't said in the past year or so. That catches me off guard, so I comment on it. She says something back, and I tell her that I dont know that I would be able to do a distance relationship, like I said I work all the fucking time so even though it isn't that far I'd not be able to see her. Well she says she wants to talk about it and suggests we do it over lunch. Second mistake I made. I accept this, and we stop talking.
Skip up to 12. I tell her to pick wherever she wants, and I will be fine with it. She picks Mexican. She always picks mexican. I don't even like mexican. But I go, because this is important to her. We get there, and get our table. I order some of the cheese dip that she likes, and we start to munch on some chips. I'd say I got about five. We didn't talk about anything important really, just this and that, nothing along the lines of what we said we would. "Thank god" I think, "She'll actually wait until after the food. Good. I'm hungry" So we order our food. She gets some chicken shit and I can't pronounce, and I get my usual order of Steak Nachos. Steak. Nacho. Cheese. I don't see a possibility for error here. This could shape up to be a decent day!
We get our food. I pick up my silverware. And she starts talking about us. Against all instincts to grab the fork, shovel, and bail out, I set the fork back down. I sit there for thirty minutes and listen to her tell me every thing that she has told me time and time again, I sit there as she starts to cry. Now Evilbore, you do not know me. I do not deal well with women crying. I do not. So I sit there while she goes on and on, crying turning to sobbing. I'm getting stares from the three construction worker guys that just walked in and sat across the restaurant from us. The four marine recruiters that were there when I walked in to get the table were all turning to look at us. And every single one of the motherfuckers was looking at me like I had just pissed on the head of a cute little baby Jesus holding a kitten. She goes on and on about how hard she tried to make it work and how I just couldn't do it and all I wanted from her was sex (WHICH might I add I never got, because she is a virgin and didn't think it was right for us to. Side story, the guy that she met after we broke up, wouldn't date her but would let her suck his dick, yeah she had told me she wanted to fuck him. After three months. Wrap your fucking brains around that one.)
So finally I just say fuck it. I've been through all this shit with her before, it's just usually not in public. I've heard every god damn one of her fucking sob stories, and I'm sick and tired of it. I say to her the only words that I have spoken since she started in on this shit: "You could have picked a better place and a better time for this", slap a 20 on the table, grab my jacket, keys, and blackberry, and head out the fucking door.
EB, this shit happened to me so many times that I can't fucking count them all. The last time we broke up, she called every one of my friends and told them how mean I was to her and how hatefully I had broken up with her. SHE WALKED INTO MY HOUSE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP AND WOKE ME UP BY THROWING DOWN A BOX OF MY STUFF FROM HER HOUSE AND SAID THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY BREAK UP. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK. She fucking had one of my friends from the god damn UAE call me and tell me that I was making a mistake. She nearly made me stop talking to two of my better friends around here, until I finally figured out what she was doing. She started a bunch of rumors about how I tried to rape her, and about how I said that if she didn't have sex with me, I was going to kick her out of my house. She says she didn't, but no one else could have. And god damned if I didn't just keep fucking heading back for more.
So here I am, an hour and ten minutes since I walked out of the restaurant, pissed off, with a bruised hand. And I didn't even get to touch my fucking nachos. I'm gonna go eat a fucking bowl of cereal.
tl;dr: VirginBore, stick to the Vaseline and tissues, because women are cunts.
OtherBore, I got 99 problems, but a bitch is no longer one. If you've had girl problems, I know you feel me, son.
