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Author Topic: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death  (Read 3377 times)

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Saint Cornelius

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People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« on: December 04, 2006, 04:15:04 PM »
I have been working for in offices for over 10 years now and I've NEVER had to deal with motherfuckers stealing my food as much as I do at THIS gig.

About a year ago, I had some Hot Pockets in the fridge, one that everyone on this floor shares, basically. Someone broke into the box, stole one of 'em, and left the other for me. Thanks, considerate thief! After that I was like "fuck bringing stuff in, I'll just eat here or something".

Then, our department moved to a separate part of the building, and we all pitched in to buy a little refrigerator. Since then, I've been bringing my lunches in. And it's been fine!

Last Friday I had a soup & sandwich from the cafeteria, and I only ate the sandwich so I put the soup in the fridge. Today, it is GONE. I asked everyone in my department if they ate my fucking soup; either someone is lying to me, or someone from another department is STEALING MY FUCKING GRUB.

Talk about your workplace woes!
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donkey

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2006, 04:15:45 PM »
we have cameras here now for that very reason.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2006, 04:16:56 PM »
That's a good fucking idea, I should install a little spy camera by the fridge.

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The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2006, 04:20:47 PM »
Can you go out for lunch?
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BKO

Mupepe

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2006, 04:23:53 PM »
It's very common in big office buildings.  We had camera's installed, but whoever is stealing is doing it during the day, so it's hard to tell if it's theirs or not.  One of my coworkers once left some lasagna in a tupperware container with a spoon in there.  Someone opened it up, used the spoon and ate half and then left it.  Wow.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2006, 04:29:06 PM »
Quote from: Mupepe on December 04, 2006, 04:23:53 PM
It's very common in big office buildings.  We had camera's installed, but whoever is stealing is doing it during the day, so it's hard to tell if it's theirs or not.  One of my coworkers once left some lasagna in a tupperware container with a spoon in there.  Someone opened it up, used the spoon and ate half and then left it.  Wow.


Dude that is fucking ill. Just fucking eat the WHOLE DAMN THING if you're going to steal someone's food.
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cloudwalking

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2006, 04:48:26 PM »
Holy shit this happens at my job too, people will steal my snacks out of my fucking LOCKER for crying out loud.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2006, 04:49:37 PM »
Is your locker, uh, locked? Are people fucking breaking and entering just to get at your jujubees?!?!
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TheOMan

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2006, 04:57:42 PM »
Haha - this is one of the few things that gets the blood all riled up for me.  I had a bunch of left overs one night, so I sent some home with my sister so she could take for lunch the next day (she's a teacher).  It was perogies, farmers sausage, and something else, can't remember.  In any case, she took it to school the next day, put it in the staff refrigerator, went to get it at lunch time and it was gone.  The whole thing.  Including the tupperware.  GONE.

Next time dude, bring an awesome lunch but lace it with either super hot peppers or a tasteless laxative and wait for the culprit to show him or herself.  Then apply cubicle justice.
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cloudwalking

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2006, 05:00:56 PM »
Quote from: Saint Cornelius on December 04, 2006, 04:49:37 PM
Is your locker, uh, locked? Are people fucking breaking and entering just to get at your jujubees?!?!

Yeah I lock it, but everyone knows everyone else's combination for some stupid reason, the managers have a master list that they just keep lying around anyhow.
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The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2006, 05:01:34 PM »
cloudwalking: Try buying a new lock, if you can. That shit is fucked up. :-\
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BKO

Error Macro

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2006, 05:01:51 PM »
We had this one son of a bitch at the office that would steal anything that was in the refrigerator.  Half-eaten sandwiches, soups, cake, sodas, water, whatever.  Didn't even matter if you put your fucking name on the damn container/bag.  We told him to cut that shit out, so he stopped for a while.  But after a couple of weeks he'd just start doing it again.  One time there was one of those huge tin popcorn containers that someone brought in for everybody.  I left the office and was driving home when I realized I'd forgotten something, so I turned around and headed back.  As I pull into the parking lot, I see the bastard walking out the back door with the popcorn tin, eating some as he's walking to his car.  Thankfully the real estate agent he was working for as an assistant left, so he did too.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2006, 05:02:46 PM »
Quote from: TheOMan on December 04, 2006, 04:57:42 PM
Next time dude, bring an awesome lunch but lace it with either super hot peppers or a tasteless laxative and wait for the culprit to show him or herself.  Then apply cubicle justice.


hahahahaha "cubicle justice", i like that.


Quote from: cloudwalking on December 04, 2006, 05:00:56 PM
Yeah I lock it, but everyone knows everyone else's combination for some stupid reason, the managers have a master list that they just keep lying around anyhow.


that's distinguished mentally-challenged. you work in retail, right?
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cloudwalking

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2006, 05:03:23 PM »
Lately I've just been sticking them at the very bottom of my tote -- seems that busting into my locker is A-OK but digging through my purse is a step too far

And yep I work in retail. With a store full of women no less. No chocolate is safe
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Flannel Boy

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2006, 05:03:35 PM »
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2006, 05:06:41 PM »
lols, my favorite internet meme + a cat that looks like my very own Norma Jean!  :heart
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Apharm

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2006, 06:05:36 PM »
Some jackass keeps stealing my pop and sports drinks. After the the 3rd time I
just went ahead and bought a mini fridge to keep all my food and drinks in.  Sits
right next to my toolbox.
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DJ_Tet

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2006, 07:25:16 PM »
Yeah that shit happens at my work too.  Luckily the guy who trained me clued me in.  I quickly bought a cooler and some ice inserts.  It keeps my sandwiches and yogurt cool until I get out to the car to eat it.

People who steal food at work are fucking losers.  Unfortunately, temps are in and out at my place, so there's really no accountability.
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Diablos

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2006, 07:34:01 PM »
Take your own little lunch bag, put an ice pack in it, leave it under your desk and take it to the microwave at lunch time.
That's what I'd do if the situation got that bad anyway.
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Ecrofirt

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2006, 07:35:26 PM »
Really, can't you do something simple enough to make whoever is eating your food ill?

I'd stand for that shit twice before I went off and put either laxative in my food, or purposely made something with slightly rotten food. Nothing like puking your fucking guts up to wake you up to the fact that stealing other people's food is wrong.

And really, where does the accountability lie? Let's say I went and used food I knew would give the eater mild food poisoning. Say that person gets ill and for whatever reason dies. Big fucking whooop. If the police questioned me, I could just say I was very lucky I didn't eat that rotten sandwich!
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The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2006, 07:41:34 PM »
Don't you think killing them is a little too harsh a punishment for nibbling on your lunch? :-\
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Mupepe

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2006, 07:44:43 PM »
Quote from: The Dark Shake on December 04, 2006, 07:41:34 PM
Don't you think killing them is a little too harsh a punishment for nibbling on your lunch? :-\
No.  Fucking Ethiopians.
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Ecrofirt

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2006, 08:09:32 PM »
Quote from: The Dark Shake on December 04, 2006, 07:41:34 PM
Don't you think killing them is a little too harsh a punishment for nibbling on your lunch? :-\
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Bacon

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2006, 08:12:14 PM »
I never bring food to work to put in the fridge.

The lady at our front desk bought me a burrito from Qudoba today. She's nice.
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The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2006, 08:14:22 PM »
Quote from: Ecrofirt on December 04, 2006, 08:09:32 PM
Quote from: The Dark Shake on December 04, 2006, 07:41:34 PM
Don't you think killing them is a little too harsh a punishment for nibbling on your lunch? :-\
(Image removed from quote.)

 :lol
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2006, 08:29:30 PM »
Quote from: Bacon on December 04, 2006, 08:12:14 PM
The lady at our front desk bought me a burrito from Qudoba today. She's nice.

She's hungry for your flesh burrito.

But seriously, what is Qudoba? Like Chipotle? We have Chipotle, and they're good if not a little odd - I mean I have REAL FUCKING MEXICANS COOKING MEXICAN FOOD everywhere I turn
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Bacon

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #26 on: December 04, 2006, 08:33:37 PM »
She's kind of old.

Yeah, it's like Chipotle. They pretty much taste the same, imo.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2006, 08:36:04 PM »
Quote from: Bacon on December 04, 2006, 08:33:37 PM
She's kind of old.


Age = experience in the sack

Besides, everyone should try a GMILF once
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whiteACID

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #28 on: December 04, 2006, 08:37:53 PM »
Quote from: Bacon on December 04, 2006, 08:12:14 PM
I never bring food to work to put in the fridge.

The lady at our front desk bought me a burrito from Qudoba today. She's nice.
Goddamn Qdoba is good. The put queso in their burrito's!
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #29 on: December 04, 2006, 08:38:19 PM »
Cheese? Cheese sauce?
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Bacon

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #30 on: December 04, 2006, 08:39:07 PM »
Quote from: Saint Cornelius on December 04, 2006, 08:36:04 PM
Quote from: Bacon on December 04, 2006, 08:33:37 PM
She's kind of old.


Age = experience in the sack

Besides, everyone should try a GMILF once

I'd be nothing but a disappointment.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #31 on: December 04, 2006, 08:51:50 PM »
Quote from: Bacon on December 04, 2006, 08:39:07 PM
I'd be nothing but a disappointment.


Older women thrive on that sort of thing.
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Bacon

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #32 on: December 04, 2006, 09:02:16 PM »
Quote from: Saint Cornelius on December 04, 2006, 08:51:50 PM
Quote from: Bacon on December 04, 2006, 08:39:07 PM
I'd be nothing but a disappointment.


Older women thrive on that sort of thing.

Well I hope they thrive on erectile dysfunction.
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Saint Cornelius

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #33 on: December 04, 2006, 09:02:51 PM »
All you have is a little dick, dude. I'm sure it works fine.
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Bacon

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #34 on: December 04, 2006, 10:15:01 PM »
Aw, you're sweet.
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xnikki118x

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #35 on: December 05, 2006, 12:07:20 AM »
Bring in a sandwich in one of those tupperware containers. Lay a note that says something gross like "this meat is old!" or "I didn't wash my hands!" in the bottom, a napkin on top of it, and the sandwich on the napkin. Hopefully the thief will eat the sandwich before finding said note.
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Van Cruncheon

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #36 on: December 05, 2006, 12:09:07 AM »
make a sandwich and slide it through your ass crack a couple times. leave it in the fridge. you have now won.
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xnikki118x

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Re: People that steal food out of the work refrigerator should be put to death
« Reply #37 on: December 05, 2006, 01:33:07 AM »
Quote from: Drinky Crow on December 05, 2006, 12:09:07 AM
make a sandwich and slide it through your ass crack a couple times. leave it in the fridge. you have now won.

In highschool I was on the yearbook staff, and this girl who wasn't editorial board kept putting her shit in our fridge, that was for editors only. [I wasn't a yearbook editor, I was the newspaper editor, so I had a different fridge.] One day our friend Matt opened her lunch, and all she had was pudding and a bottle of water. So he rubs the plastic spoon all over his testicles, puts it back in the bag, and replaces the bag in the fridge.

We all went to lunch that day to watch her eat her pudding with said spoon.
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