I think a better route for this topic is:
distinguished mentally-challenged fellow WANK STORIES
Anyone ever see a distinguished mentally-challenged fellow get his urge on and start floggin' his big ol' tardcock in public? I have; twice.
Once was when I was in college, working as a student programmer. Apparently all the cute college chicks in their little sundresses and halter tops made Senor Corky a little too uncomfortably erect, so he unzipped his cords and started gettin' his five-fingered freakstyle revved up right in the middle of the second floor main hall of the Engineering building. Folks started gasping, but half of us really couldn't tear our eyes away. Dude was hung like a fuckin' ox, and he was just bootstrappin' his bologna like there was no-one there. Jizzed like a fuckin' cattle stud, too, sloppin' all over the place. His mom, who worked in the adjacent dean's office, came and got him and apparently killed his post-ejaculatory endorphin buzz 'cuz he started sobbin' and hyperventilating. It was really REALLY jacked up. That image of his CUM just squirtin' all over his fingers will NEVER EVER LEAVE MY MIND, and I know if they ever do an autopsy on me during my eventual untimely traffic-related demise they'll find that very picture scored into my retina.
The other time was more creepy, and was also when I worked as a student programmer at the U. As part of our decent paying jobs (24K/yr in Oklahoma for a GRAD STUDENT was rad), we had to do 40 hours of community service. I offered to teach basic web programming to Boy Scouts during some computer camp out in the boonies, largely because everyone else refused to. I was warned not to do this, because apparently it's HELL, but I scoffed since I figured my fellow grads were all pussies. My old man used to drag me out into the hinterlands for camping/fishing trips, so what's a little poison sumac and ticks? FUCK THERE WERE TICKS, though. I had to have FOUR of them burned outta me, and I got a shitload of shots, too. Besides being utterly miserable the whole time, I had to deal with the kids trying to steal my laptop so they could play Shadow Warrior and I also got saddled with this giant distinguished mentally-challenged kid named Troy. He was my height and twice as wide, and he scared this piss out of me 'cuz he was clearly, well, GAY. He just looked like a massive lawsuit waiting to happen, and he had these nasty fingernails he was always trying to cut kids with. Anyway, disaster happened in the showers, as expected -- a couple of the kids came busting into my counselor digs at like 6AM, telling me that "Troy is sick, he's beating off" and sure enough, he was. What the fuck do you do? He's this 230+ pound megateen just rippin' into his shank in the middle of the public showers, eyes rolling in his head. I wasn't gonna touch him, so I called the head counselor. Unfortunately, all the noise had freaked "Troy" out and he was all screaming QUIT LOOKING QUIT LOOKING. He finally just laid down in the middle of the shower and kinda rocked himself and cried. It was really messed up, cuz unlike the other dude I think he was just self-aware enough to know that he'd really humiliated himself. Thankfully, I didn't hafta call the parents or explain that shit to them.
