This is awesome (worst moviegoing experiences)

[TVC15]

http://www.avclub.com/articles/avqa-worst-moviegoing-experiences,24745/

Tasha Robinson
I’m not sure whether you’re getting specifically at situations that were the fault of the other person we were with, Ryan. Certainly the two experiences that leap to my mind—both experienced with my boyfriend—weren’t his fault at all. The first was in 1999, when The Phantom Menace came out. We saw it shortly after it opened, at the now-defunct McClurg Theater in Chicago, then supposedly the high-techiest of the new high-tech digital theaters—basically, the place where the serious sound-and-picture-experience nuts would go. Just as the film started, a small boy, maybe 7 or 8 years old, burst into tears somewhere down front. He continued wailing hysterically through the opening crawl. Anticipation for Phantom Menace was high at the time—oh, little did we know—and it was a completely full house, so keyed-up people almost immediately started yelling “Shut that kid up!” and “Get him the fuck out of here, you asshole!” So the boy’s father started shouting back, “We paid to be here too!” and “YOU shut up, goddammit!” After a few minutes of the theater getting louder and nastier, the father suddenly dragged the boy bodily out of his seat and threw him to the ground, then hauled him up the aisle stairs by his shirt, yelling at him. Halfway up, he knocked him to the ground, yelling “See what you’ve done, you’ve completely ruined this!” Someone much braver than me stepped out into the aisle and started trying to reason with the angry father, asking him to calm down and stop hitting the kid. Which of course elicited the catchphrase of bad parents everywhere: “He’s my kid, don’t you fucking tell me what I can do to him!” Meanwhile, the boy lay on the ground between them, still bawling. By this time, everyone else in the theater had shut up. The father and the guy who’d intervened exchanged some quieter words, and then all three of them went out the door together. I didn’t actually see any of the first 10 minutes of the movie, and I didn’t take in or process any of the next hour or so, because I was so upset and so angry at myself for not doing anything. Which I still am.

I lollled so much.  If I could be promised the above show, I'd actually want to go to a movie theater, rather than avoiding them like the plague, as I typically do.

[Bloodwake]

Wow, fucking brutal.

We need a new "worst moviegoing experience" thread. I had a few over at GAF.

[Robo]

This was my favorite:

Keith Phipps
Mine’s almost too painful to recount, so I’ll be brief: A friend and I went to see Darkman at a crumbling Dayton theater formerly known as the Kon-Tiki. (It opened toward the tail end of the 1960s’ South Pacific fixation and kept the theme until Loews bought it out in the 1980s.) Several rows behind me sat a very, very large man, his nearly as large wife, and their on-their-way-to-being-large kids. Not only did they talk through most of the movie, they noisily unwrapped and ate a chicken dinner. I shot them dirty looks and shushed them to no avail. Then, when the credits started to roll, I cheekily waved goodbye. This was a mistake. The very, very large man exited with his family, then returned and stuck his fist in my face. He didn’t punch me, he just kind of put his fist on to the bridge of my nose and pressed. Hard. His hand smelled like his dinner. A year later, I started working at the same theater as an usher, but I never saw that guy again. I think I would have hidden if I did.

I don't have anything even approaching the horror of most of these stories.  The best I got is through a smarmy friend of mine who, before the flick began, was being his obnoxious, smarmy self to a lady he was sitting in front of, who then, having had enough of his bullshit, preceded to pull his hair back, yanking his head over the backrest part of the seat and give his face a big slap.

[clothedmacuser]

That is easily one of the better AVQ&A's.  I think the best story I've read was in Entertainment Weekly years ago.  The writer says he was once at a viewing of "Pretty Women," when the gang of young men in the front row got so worked up by the sex scene one shot a gun into the air. 

[Phoenix Dark]

Meh, worst thing that happened to me was basically projectors fucking up, once about 5 minutes into the film (No Country for Old Men) and the clerks promised we wouldn't have to watch trailers again...then made us watch the trailers again. Similar thing happened with TWBB with the picture looking unfocused for the first few minutes.

Nothing extraordinary. Best experience was definitely seeing Revenge of the Sith at midnight, opening day.

[Greatness Gone]

itt, jinfash becomes just as much of a lying bitch as pd is.

[DJ_Tet]

I think after all that Jinfash proceeded to shout in tongues at anyone who would listen.

[Dickie Dee]

caramel popcorn 

[The Fake Shemp]

My brother and I saw two kids running out of the theater when blue dong started flashing in Watchmen.

[BobbyRobby]

when i was 13 my friend and i wanted to see some r rated movie so we bought a ticket to 'my favorite martian,' but the movie we wanted to see was playing on the opposite end of the theater.  there was an usher there who asked us what we were doing and looked at our tickets, and we ended up having to see 'my favorite martian,' which sucked.  during the movie my friend went to bathroom and came back with his large soda cup that was now filled with his own urine.  i don't even remember what he planned to do with it, but he ended up dropping it.  a little got on both of us, but the majority of it rolled down the decline under seats in front of us.  we were in the fifth row and there was a kid in front of us who had separated from his family so he could sit closer.  as the piss seeped under his seat, he raised his feet and we all watched the rest of the movie in a theater that reeked of piss.

[TVC15]

My personal story is probably the one I've told like 4 times already about how I threw up copious amounts of cough syrup and vodka and it rolled towards the front of the theater and stank.

[HyperZoneWasAwesome]

awesome story

I was shanghaied into going to see the Dungeons & Dragons movie, which was not only exceedingly terrible, was playing to a full house, with me sitting directly in front of a distinguished mentally-challenged man who must have in the death throes of tuberculosis.  He laughed loudly and stupidly throughout the film (predictably, he was the only one there who seemed to be enjoying himself) and frequently coughed on the back of my head and neck.  I could feel his hot breath on me so often that I tried sinking in my badly constructed seat, but all that did was increase my discomfort.  I asked him to keep it down, but I don't think he understood me, either that or he was a sick, distinguished mentally-challenged, and a jerk.