Wacky Fun Time: History!

[etiolate]

Fomemko is a Russian mathematician. He has worked with orbital maneuver computer programs to figure the positions of stars and planets in the past, and then lining up these constellations with historical data from these times to see if the observed astronomy matches their data of reverse movement of the stars.

So, in conclusion to his findings, he has decided that about 1,000 years of history do not actually exist. Thus, New Chronology was born.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_(Fomenko)

Some choice bits:

That Ancient Roman and Greek statues, showing perfect command of the human anatomy are fakes crafted in the Renaissance when, according to Fomenko, such command was for the first time attained;

That the Chinese tables of eclipses are useless for dating as they contain too many eclipses that did not take place astronomically; that Chinese tables of comets even if they were true can't be used for dating; (editors note: this statement is made because Chinese historians routinely watched and chronicled star movements, including comet appearances that match with computed reverse movements of the stars)

That there was no such thing as the Tartar and Mongol invasion followed by over two centuries of yoke and slavery because the so-called "Tartars and Mongols" were the actual ancestors of the modern Russians, living in a bilingual state with Turkic spoken as freely as Russian;

That archaeological dating, dendrochronological dating, paleographical dating, numismatic dating, carbon dating, and other methods of dating of ancient sources and artifacts known today are erroneous, non-exact or dependent on traditional chronology; that their use in conjunction as 'confiming' one another is a statistical fallacy - probabilities can't be added.

That there is not a single document in existence that can be reliably dated earlier than the 11th century; that most 'ancient' artifacts may find other than consensual explanation;


Also of note, the period of time that Fomemko wipes out would include the birth, rise and golden of age of Islam.

[Van Cruncheon]

is this some young earth doofery

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

What the fuck is this bullshit?

[Van Cruncheon]

It's pseudo-science/religious nonsense/Russian nationalism/conspiracy nuttery all existing as one theory.

in before manabyte

[recursivelyenumerable]

how will this help my throat stop killing me

[Great Rumbler]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_(Fomenko)#Criticism

[etiolate]

It's pseudo-science/religious nonsense/Russian nationalism/conspiracy nuttery all existing as one theory.

I think its mostly Russian Nationalism. It's euro-centric, but takes a shit on classical Europe and dismisses Asian history. Reconciling the mongols into being part of a long lasting Russian horde/empire is especially RAWR RUSSIA.


As for the commonly believed history, it blames the catholic church mostly for making it up to fit its Christian world view.
 

[Phoenix Dark]

so the egyptians were white 

[etiolate]

Is this too obscure for even the tinfoil hats?

[Joe Molotov]

I've read about this before, because I like reading about obscure and/or distinguished mentally-challenged conspiracy theories.

[Tauntaun]

so the egyptians were white 

That's right darky! 

[Eric P]

so the egyptians were white 

there is actually a standing controversy over cleopatra's race

i didn't know this.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

someone should make a game about this oh wait they already have

http://www.indiegames.com/blog/2009/02/freeware_game_pick_opera_omnia.html



Historical Revisionism is gonna be the "it" genre in 2010

[Phoenix Dark]

so the egyptians were white 

there is actually a standing controversy over cleopatra's race

i didn't know this.

Baffles the mind. Egypt is in Africa, ancient Greek accounts describe the Egyptians as having African resemblances, etc. Yet there are people in the field who spend their entire careers attempting to whitewash the entire thing

One of my AA studies teachers suggested the Sphinx nose was destroyed so no one would see it was big African nose lol. Not true but hilarious

[Eric P]

well her family is macedonian, so i can see the legitimate venue for discussion

but i can't think of why it would be important

[etiolate]

I think the Cleopatra thing is just soap opera drama for nerds. Like art professors sitting around talking about Michaelangelo and DaVinci being gay.

[Phoenix Dark]

well her family is macedonian, so i can see the legitimate venue for discussion

but i can't think of why it would be important

Yea, she definitely was of mixed ethnicity. I was commenting more on the whitewashing of Egypt in general.

[Eric P]

well her family is macedonian, so i can see the legitimate venue for discussion

but i can't think of why it would be important

Yea, she definitely was of mixed ethnicity. I was commenting more on the whitewashing of Egypt in general.

i wonder if that's a reaction to orientalism and egyptology's hold on england during the victorian era.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2005/nov/25/highereducation.uk2

should be an interesting read

[Homemade Milk]

i dont get it

[ToxicAdam]

This guy should do computer modeling for the IPCC.

[Flannel Boy]

so the egyptians were white 

there is actually a standing controversy over cleopatra's race

i didn't know this.

What controversy? 

[clothedmacuser]

Cool post.  I've seen the theory but never the explanation. 

Other ones I've liked are on this list.

http://swallowingthecamel.blogspot.com/2007/08/worlds-weirdeststupidest-conspiracy.html

[Kara]

:vivaldicry