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Even by those standards, Curtis is grim. Anyone who sees a film which dares call itself Love Actually has been warned. Martin Amis described one of the bleakest evenings of his life as watching Four Weddings, desperate to leave but unable to. He had gone to the cinema with Salman Rushdie, who had to stick to the timetable he gave his police guards. And so they were forced to endure every last minute. Not the most zealous Wahhabist could have wished such a punishment. Four Weddings isn't a bad movie, it's a crime against humanity.