Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing

[Tauntaun]

That sounds pretty lame actually.

Kosma goes there because the amputees can't get away when he hits on them. 

[Flannel Boy]

I never understood how other people's suffering will somehow make one feel better; it will usually just make him feel bad for others and make him feel more guilt.

Anyway, people compare their positions to those that are similarly situated. For example: I don't compare my lot to amputees in Cambodia, but to other law students in Winnipeg. A visit to Cambodia would only temporarily change that, once back home, it's back to comparing myself to my peers; and consequently, feeling a sense of deprivation.

[Flannel Boy]

It's inspiring to see being more happy with less and with simpler things Malek. It's not like people spend their time traveling crying over everything they see.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_deprivation

[TVC15]

It's inspiring to see being more happy with less and with simpler things Malek. It's not like people spend their time traveling crying over everything they see.

Malek's just a different sort of person than you are.  I was just thinking about this in relation to my own misery earlier today.  For me, thinking about how it could be worse (or how it has been worse) for me doesn't move me at all--I'm much more concerned with how things could be better for me than they are now.  

[Barry Egan]

Green Shinobi: M.D.

Green Shinobi: Depressed are we?  I suggest you surround yourself with as many amputated Cambodians as possible.
Patient: Wat

[TVC15]

Yeah everybody is different and reacts different to experiences. Also I think it's different for people with clinical depression or your more ordinary folks and how they react to certain stimuli. Malek I used to think like that too, and still to some extent do because I'm not sure it can ever be erased. But what traveling showed me is that I don't have to participate in the rat race and can do my own thing, it showed me the world is bigger then the neighbours and I havent lost that feeling after returning from my first trip 3 years ago.

Rebiak, Cormacaroni, Green Shinobi and me all have the same thoughts on this. So cleary it works for some people, so I think it's worth a try.

I know there are ugly and emaciated asian children on the other side of the world without having to see them.  I'd rather have working kidneys or a Ducati GT1000 than have to ponder or look at them.

[Flannel Boy]

Rebiak, Cormacaroni, Green Shinobi and me all have the same thoughts on this. So cleary it works for some people, so I think it's worth a try.

Corm stated that traveling to better parts of the world made him better, which is the exact opposite of what you and Shinobi are suggesting.

[Barry Egan]

this thread separates the "I've been in a rut before" crowd from the real depressives.  

[TVC15]

this thread separates the "I've been in a rut before" crowd from the real depressives.  

The only thing keeping me from ranting is that I don't want to inadvertently say something useful to the Nintendo fan OP.

[TVC15]

I just googled that DucatiG1000 TVC was talking about, and for that money you could live in a private beach hut on a tropical Island for a year, have hookers everyday and get drunk and do whatever you want.

I hate the sun and heat, my penis no longer functions as anything except a urinary device, and I'm not supposed to drink anymore.

[Flannel Boy]

I think living like a king for a few bucks a day makes it the better part of the world.

So he'll feel better because his dollar goes further? This has nothing to do with your past argument. Seems you felt better because you banged third-worlders and you got to live it up because of your relative affluence.

To address your past "inspiration" point: Seeing a happy third worlder won't inspire me. He compares his condition to his peers; I compare my condition to my peers. Our expectations are different. Deprivation is relative.

Besides most of my sense of deprivation doesn't arise from my social economic conditions, but from my extreme loneliness and social isolation. I compare my life to Flannel Girl's boyfriend, not to a thai cheeseburger you banged.

[Flannel Boy]

And you should compare your situation to everybody in the world, because its one fucking world.

People reside in specific, isolated parts of the world and are surrounded and interact with a small group of people. It makes more sense that people would naturally compare themselves to their peers, whom they interact with and see on a daily basis, than people they've never even met.

God I hate phonies.

[recursivelyenumerable]

a friend of a friend of mine is planning to move to China ostensibly for sexual reasons

[Flannel Boy]

I'd still compare myself to my actual peer group. Seeing South East asians in a fishing village for a few days won't make them my new peer group.

[recursivelyenumerable]

You should go live with wolves like I guess Kevin Costner did (based on the title of his movie which I haven't seen).

[Flannel Boy]

You're talking about stuff you've never experienced, hiding behind theories you've only read about.

Not like I've never seen homeless people or military amputees on the street. Their shitty lives sure made me feel better about my own.

oh wait

Go fly a kite

[Barry Egan]

And you should compare your situation to everybody in the world, because its one fucking world.

 

[TVC15]

You're talking about stuff you've never experienced, hiding behind theories you've only read about.

And you've never experienced a Ducati GT1000.

[Flannel Boy]

Hey Malek I don't know why you get mad when somebody suggests you do something actually to improve your situation.

If your suggestion is have a vacation, fine. But if your suggestion is other people's shitty lives on some other part of the world will make me feel better, you're dead wrong. any clinical psychologist will tell you that you can't make someone with depression feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are than other people's--let alone other people who have absolutely no bearing on their day to day lives, who live in a different culture, have different aspirations, and AGAIN, have a different peer group.

[TVC15]

Did chasing that Ducati GT1000 made you happy so far?

How is that working out?

I'm actually not pursuing a Ducati GT1000.  I've settled on a Kawasaki Vulcan 500.

But believe me, seeing poor people won't make me appreciate my life any more.  I don't even like people.

[Reb]

Wow, the last time I checked the advice was to get out of the house some, before you try medication.

Now it's about lifting your spirits by looking at poor people?

[TVC15]

But Emceegamer thinks he might have an emotional disorder.

[TVC15]

Sorry, Kosma, you're only seeing your own point of view here.  I understand what you're saying, but you clearly don't understand what Malek is (especially clearly) saying.  Sorry that everyone isn't like you.  I'm kind of surprised your world travels didn't teach you about subjectivity.

[TVC15]

This was in no way ment to offend you guys, but youre taking it personally it seems.

That's because I'm emotionally unstable and I know that visiting Cambodia isn't going to make me better.

We dont know do we, I mean its a self diagnosis.

It's gone on for years.  That means there is pathology to be had.  And even if it hadn't, even if he just suspected he had an emotional disorder, shouldn't he clear his mind before he decides to go on worldwide adventures, you know, so he doesn't get jerusalem syndrome or have a dissociative fugue?

[TVC15]

No worries.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Malek and TVC should both come to Portland and start a depressive post-rock band with me

[tiesto]

Travel solo then, you'll meet plenty of people on the road.

And as Cormarcaroni says sometimes you need to buckle down and just do stuff you don't like to experience satisfaction.

You see, this is what I'm most scared of... I'm the kinda person who hates to eat by myself.. let alone experience a completely different country. I think a trip to Japan, Australia, or Eastern Europe, would be just what I need right now, I haven't traveled outside of US/Canada since high school. I'd love to hook up with a girl from another country...

[duckman2000]

I have yet to travel to a reasonably well populated area and not find people to hang out with within the first 4 hours, some of which I'd end up hanging out with for the rest of my stay. Staying in hostels makes it fairly inevitable. And whatever people may say about it not being for them, how many of those have actually tried? I'm not saying that it would be the solution to all of emceegrammar's  problems, but it's worth a shot. It's amazing what sharing a spliff with a group of friends on a beach somewhere can do for your outlook on life.

[Fresh Prince]

That's your experience, telling him 'to travel' is akin to tossing a coin; sure it could work but what are the implications if it doesn't.

Anyway the real point of this thread is that TVC is getting a cruiser certifying his old man status.

[duckman2000]

That's your experience, telling him 'to travel' is akin to tossing a coin; sure it could work but what are the implications if it doesn't.

Anyway the real point of this thread is that TVC is getting a cruiser certifying his old man status.

Of course, you could obsess over what horrible things it could result in (never mind the fact that a always steady route could have just as serious negative effects down the line). The alternative would be to focus on the possible rewards, such as uniquely good times worth remembering.

I'm not advising anyone to do anything, but I really don't think "stay safe" is always the best advise.

[EmCeeGrammar]

this thread separates the "I've been in a rut before" crowd from the real depressives.  

The only thing keeping me from ranting is that I don't want to inadvertently say something useful to the Nintendo fan OP.

Pretty please? I recommended a book for you and I don't think you took it seriously.

To everyone else,  I have tried breaking out of my rut.  I have gone out with co-workers, flirted with girls, long walks in the city, recreational studying at the library, going to concerts, a ufc fight, ate out at many different places, went to the state fair, had a gym membership motherfucking etcetera.  I wasn't enjoying myself.   I've read my fair share about the psychological mechanisms responsible for how I behave.  I understand it all, trust me on this.  I don't want to make it seem like I'm crying myself to sleep everynight but this borders on something like an avoidant personality disorder and I may need a professional.
SEND MONEY

[Fresh Prince]

This best you could hope for is Malek to simulate your behaviour (not far off just get rid of Flannel Girl, alcohol and the hope of being a lawyer) and get the diagnosis back

[EmCeeGrammar]

Icons :/

[Van Cruncheon]

[demi]

Icons :/

evr ben w/ a bear b4

[EmCeeGrammar]

joke characters : /

[recursivelyenumerable]

At least you're not a recursivelyenumerable-narcissist with false modesty.

I found this while searching for my username and I just had to bump the thread, because it's now about me

[Fresh Prince]

Searching for your own username isn't narcissistic?
Am I wrong though? 

[recursivelyenumerable]

proactively ensuring continued responsiveness to user feedback is the opposite of narcissism!

[Fresh Prince]

Will instead of letting it slide like most people would, it's become a topic again.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I can't help being awesome.

[Fresh Prince]

sarcasm

I cut you deep, eh?

[recursivelyenumerable]

Deep in absolute terms, shallow relative to the depth of my soul

[Oblivion]

Since we're (more or less) on the subject, anyone have any suggestions for painless suicide pills perchance? How are all the hip youngsters offing themselves nowadays?

[EmCeeGrammar]

Oblivion, one of the great points of my life was realising I didn't have to follow religion anymore.  If you really thought about, no afterlife isn't something to be mopy over.

Anyone want a progress report?  I realise I whine too much these days during the past week at work. I'm being a little mean too.  I think I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.

[Barry Egan]

Is this your life, Recursive?

The narcissist can appreciate beauty but in a cerebral, cold and "mathematical" way. Many have no mature, adult sex drive to speak of. Their emotional landscape is dim and grey, as though through a glass darkly.

Many narcissists can intelligently discuss those emotions never experienced by them – like empathy, or love – because they make it a point to read a lot and to communicate with people who claim to be experiencing them. Thus, they gradually construct working hypotheses as to what people feel. As far as the narcissist is concerned, it is pointless to try to really understand emotions – but at least these models he does form allow him to better predict people's behaviours and adjust to them.

Narcissists are not envious of others for having emotions. They disdain feelings and sentimental people because they find them to be weak and vulnerable and they deride human frailties and vulnerabilities. Such derision makes the narcissist feel superior and is probably the ossified remains of a defence mechanism gone awry.

....

He feels that he is entitled to special treatment and to outstanding consideration because he is such a unique specimen. He knows this to be true – the same way one knows that one is surrounded by air. It is an integral part of his identity. More integral to him than his body.

This opens a gap – rather, an abyss – between the narcissist and other humans. Because he considers himself so special and so superior, he has no way of knowing how it is to be human, neither the inclination to explore it. In other words, the narcissist cannot and will not empathise.

Can you empathise with an ant? Empathy implies identity or equality with the empathized, both abhorrent to the narcissist. And being perceived by the narcissist to be so inferior, people are reduced to cartoonish, two-dimensional representations of functions.

[TVC15]

Since we're (more or less) on the subject, anyone have any suggestions for painless suicide pills perchance? How are all the hip youngsters offing themselves nowadays?

Guns and asphyxiation.  It's hard to kill yourself with pills.  I guess WA is using suicide pills though for the assisted suicide shit.  No idea what's in them, but I doubt it's the sort of stuff you would find on the street.

Also, most poisons that are readily available that can actually kill you wouldn't give you a very pleasant death.  Guns are really the best way, (distantly) followed by asphyxiation.

[Fresh Prince]

annihilated

[recursivelyenumerable]

I don't really go for the pseudo-Nietzschean disdain-for-human-frailties thing, or for caricaturing other people in my mind, and I'm not sure what defines a mature adult sex drive (maybe just more evidence I don't have one, though), otherwise spot on.

[Fresh Prince]

On closer inspection this Sam Vakin seems to be a sham doctor with no degree and although it sounds good I cannot support this as credible evidence. 

[recursivelyenumerable]

I might've read his stuff before, does he have a huge labyrinthine rambling site?

edit: yep, I have.  it's fun to read tho I don't take it very seriously.

[Fresh Prince]

On tripod or something similar. There is no wikipedia entry on him because he dissed wikipedia or more porbably is a notorius self promoter.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I <3 huge crank websites

[Fresh Prince]

I'm going to start my own crank website now.

[Barry Egan]

the best part about Sam Vaknin is that he claims to be a narcissist himself, but a super-rare breed of narcissist that is reflexively aware of his own narcissism. 

[recursivelyenumerable]

inferior garden-variety narcissism
superior extraordinary evolved narcissism

[Cyanista]

So do you still feel this way, OP guy?  Not that I'm a psychiatrist, but it sounds like you do have some kind of problem.  The memory thing and inability to make conversation is worrying.  But..you can type up a whole lucid conversation on a web forum.  I think your problem is probably more social anxiety than it is depression, whether you've chosen to cover it up with this idea that you just can't be bothered or not.