Author Topic: I am a Starbucks Enabler (Read 1931 times)

etiolate · « **on:** April 14, 2009, 12:16:29 AM »

Starbucks has pushed out some local coffeeshops that I use to like. They placed a cafe every 3 blocks around my college, discouraging any competition.

Yet I go there all the time, create tons of Starbucks trash and the fuckers manage to always play music that I like. It is actually starting to make me paranoid. I mostly drink tea and there's an awesome tea place downtown that I go to. I have also stopped at any place with interesting loose leaf tea selection. Then suddenly Starbucks starts selling more tea options, as if to persuade me from leaving them. And the music selection is evil. I can't help it, if I find some music I like, within a month it seems to show up on the Starbucks speakers.

I am like the perfect target demographic. :'(

TEEEPO · « **Reply #1 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:22:55 AM »

http://www.starbucksstore.com/products/shprodde.asp?SKU=192393

http://www.teaspring.com/Pearl-Jasmine.asp

L O FUCKING L

etiolate · « **Reply #2 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:24:07 AM »

fuck I'm doomed

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #3 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:24:14 AM »

I was about to say, why don't you just buy tea and read a bunch of Pitchfork reviews instead - it'd be a lot cheaper.

TEEEPO · « **Reply #4 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:26:54 AM »

and i'm not just laughing at the price, but their marketing team. customary in china? give me a fucking break. that's like saying all chinese eat rice and noodles. way to generalize.

etiolate · « **Reply #5 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:28:13 AM »

I buy tea locally from http://www.hinastea.com/ and brew it at home.

But I do my work/study outside of my home, because TV/net/games/whatever distracts me too much. Habitually, tea and a cafe make me concentrate and get stuff done. If I am at home, I'll fuck around, take a nap and waste time.

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #6 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:28:35 AM »

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO CHINATOWN.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #7 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:31:22 AM »

Quote from: TEEEPO on April 14, 2009, 12:26:54 AM

that's like saying all chinese eat rice and noodles. way to generalize.

... but that's true.

demi · « **Reply #8 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:31:52 AM »

Spaghetti Warehouse > Starbucks

etiolate · « **Reply #9 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:32:20 AM »

Quote from: TEEEPO on April 14, 2009, 12:26:54 AM

and i'm not just laughing at the price, but their marketing team. customary in china? give me a fucking break. that's like saying all chinese eat rice and noodles. way to generalize.

General populace is scared of new things without some sort of disclaimer on them. The customary info is like a cultural disclaimer to say "it's not just weird shit".

etiolate · « **Reply #10 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:32:54 AM »

Quote from: CrystalGemini on April 14, 2009, 12:28:35 AM

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO CHINATOWN.

I can't!

I am posting this thread from a starbucks. =|

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #11 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:39:18 AM »

You'll know that they're really stalking you if they start selling crappy non-games.

TEEEPO · « **Reply #12 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:39:38 AM »

Quote from: Willco on April 14, 2009, 12:31:22 AM

Quote from: TEEEPO on April 14, 2009, 12:26:54 AM
that's like saying all chinese eat rice and noodles. way to generalize.

... but that's true.

it's either or depending on if you live in the north or south.

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #13 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:44:02 AM »

Quote from: TEEEPO on April 14, 2009, 12:39:38 AM

Quote from: Willco on April 14, 2009, 12:31:22 AM
Quote from: TEEEPO on April 14, 2009, 12:26:54 AM
that's like saying all chinese eat rice and noodles. way to generalize.

... but that's true.

it's either or depending on if you live in the north or south.

Or if you just plain don't like it.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #14 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:44:52 AM »

Quote from: The Card Cheat on April 14, 2009, 12:39:18 AM

You'll know that they're really stalking you if they start selling crappy non-games.

Wii Music: Arcade Fire edition?

$5 off every copy with a purchase of an $8 cup of tea - from China!

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #15 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:46:00 AM »

You're a not a unique snowflake welcome to the world

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #16 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:48:57 AM »

Quote from: Willco on April 14, 2009, 12:44:52 AM

Quote from: The Card Cheat on April 14, 2009, 12:39:18 AM
You'll know that they're really stalking you if they start selling crappy non-games.

Wii Music: Arcade Fire edition?

$5 off every copy with a purchase of an $8 cup of tea - from China!

Hey, Arcade Fire is good!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #17 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:51:41 AM »

Well, look at this - Triumph is hipster scum after all!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

We can always fall back on indie trash like Animal Collective

[close]

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #18 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:53:15 AM »

Animal Collective

TEEEPO · « **Reply #19 on:** April 14, 2009, 12:58:50 AM »

animal collective! yay \

/!

etiolate · « **Reply #20 on:** April 14, 2009, 02:01:35 AM »

Oh it isn't them playing Indie hipster shit.

It's them playing John Prine that makes it feel like they're watching my myspace.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #21 on:** April 14, 2009, 02:05:15 AM »

Fortunately, I don't have to worry about SB playing shit I like along the lines of Bonnie Prince Billy and such.

Greatness Gone · « **Reply #22 on:** April 14, 2009, 02:05:33 AM »

So am I. Their green tea frappuccinos are heavenly. And I use their espresso pods to make coffee at home.

And Animal Collective is horrible.

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #23 on:** April 14, 2009, 04:26:03 AM »

For the last two months, I've been spending about $20 on smoothies per week even though I know it'd be much easier to make them myself.

I have a kickass blender but I've just been too lazy to go through the processes of cleaning the fruits, cutting them up, freezing them, etc.

Bocsius · « **Reply #24 on:** April 14, 2009, 09:53:11 AM »

What's to be sorry about?

Starbucks

brawndolicious · « **Reply #25 on:** April 14, 2009, 06:47:48 PM »

I think starbucks has the most shit-ass wannabe worthless burnt coffee I've ever tasted. And I doubt that a starbucks "enabler" really gives a shit about their tea or music. You're probably just attracted to the well-marketed douchey atmosphere that totally is not dependent on bending over a bunch of African farmers getting raped in the poo-poo hole. Totally.

Honestly though, why would you go to starbucks to get away from distractions and then take your laptop with you?

Fragamemnon · « **Reply #26 on:** April 14, 2009, 06:58:20 PM »

Starbucks sells African-grown coffee in the US? I thought that was mostly a European thing.

I have one of the most amazing foodie stores in the Southeast (yeah not saying much, but still) nearby so I buy and brew all my own tea. I only get Starbucks when I want a coffee, which is like twice a year tops.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #27 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:15:09 PM »

Quote from: am nintenho on April 14, 2009, 06:47:48 PM

I think starbucks has the most shit-ass wannabe worthless burnt coffee I've ever tasted. And I doubt that a starbucks "enabler" really gives a shit about their tea or music. You're probably just attracted to the well-marketed douchey atmosphere that totally is not dependent on bending over a bunch of African farmers getting raped in the poo-poo hole. Totally.

Honestly though, why would you go to starbucks to get away from distractions and then take your laptop with you?

I think it's impossible not to get a burnt macchiato

ch1nchilla · « **Reply #28 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:17:29 PM »

Starbucks

Corporations

Hippy coffee shops

Dirty hippies

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #29 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:19:04 PM »

I only use coffe shops for internet hence: multinational corporations

TEEEPO · « **Reply #30 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:19:52 PM »

Quote from: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 07:15:09 PM

Quote from: am nintenho on April 14, 2009, 06:47:48 PM
I think starbucks has the most shit-ass wannabe worthless burnt coffee I've ever tasted. And I doubt that a starbucks "enabler" really gives a shit about their tea or music. You're probably just attracted to the well-marketed douchey atmosphere that totally is not dependent on bending over a bunch of African farmers getting raped in the poo-poo hole. Totally.

Honestly though, why would you go to starbucks to get away from distractions and then take your laptop with you?
I think it's impossible not to get a burnt macchiato

espresso burns more easily then coffee $:-\$

TEEEPO · « **Reply #31 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:20:03 PM »

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #32 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:28:00 PM »

Basically baristas or whatever grandiose term they come up with need to stop making lattes, cappuchinos and teas and make real mens drinks.

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #33 on:** April 14, 2009, 07:41:40 PM »

I went to Starbucks a handful of times and felt extremely uncomfortable every time. The music sucked, the overly cheery barista attitude put me off ore than anything, the fact that I had to order my coffee in a "venti" size, and that it was extremely expensive for what was coffee plus maybe ice and sugar. Given how sweet those coffees are and their price, I save money buying a 2 liter pop.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #34 on:** April 15, 2009, 01:27:38 AM »

I tried to see a few months ago if they had anything new that I liked but their christmas hot chocolate actually made me gag. I don't even know that hot chocolate could taste that sweet and couldn't even finish more than half of it.

Quote from: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 07:15:09 PM

I think it's impossible not to get a burnt macchiato

I don't know if that's the right word but their coffee just tastes a lot less smooth than at any other cafes that I've been to. I they mix in a bunch of flavorings that dilute the normal taste of the coffee or something.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #35 on:** April 15, 2009, 01:41:33 AM »

if i hear a chain playing music I like, I stop listening to that group. hearing music I like in commercials, chain restaurants, etc. associates the song/band with that brand...so when I hear it, I think of that store. it's really irritating. that's why places like starbucks and chipotle have these "hip" soundtracks.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #36 on:** April 15, 2009, 01:53:59 AM »

Quote from: am nintenho on April 15, 2009, 01:27:38 AM

I don't know if that's the right word but their coffee just tastes a lot less smooth than at any other cafes that I've been to. I they mix in a bunch of flavorings that dilute the normal taste of the coffee or something.

I was speaking generally, getting a long macchiato seems to help but then you miss all the intensity. Make proper macchiatos dammit.

cool breeze · « **Reply #37 on:** April 15, 2009, 02:06:43 AM »

I find it sad that I have $40 in giftcards for Starbucks and never even tried their coffee. Only things I tried were really stale sandwiches and some drink that was ice + sugar + cream + vanilla in a cup; I didn't finish the drink because my body didn't want to accept the liquid death.

ch1nchilla · « **Reply #38 on:** April 15, 2009, 03:44:25 AM »

Quote from: swaggaz on April 15, 2009, 02:06:43 AM

I find it sad that I have $40 in giftcards for Starbucks and never even tried their coffee. Only things I tried were really stale sandwiches and some drink that was ice + sugar + cream + vanilla in a cup; I didn't finish the drink because my body didn't want to accept the liquid death.

Yo you can totally mail those gift cards to me, ya know.

Rman · « **Reply #39 on:** April 15, 2009, 04:02:06 AM »

I'm a Cafe Bustelo fan.

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Author Topic: I am a Starbucks Enabler (Read 1931 times)