Getting to know you!

[Mupepe]

3. I've attempted suicide before by swallowing a bottle of Advil.

There are easier ways to kill yourself than choking on a plastic bottle.

[cloudwalking]

3. I've attempted suicide before by swallowing a bottle of Advil.

There are easier ways to kill yourself than choking on a plastic bottle.

tell me about it!

[BlackMage]

3. I've attempted suicide before by swallowing a bottle of Advil.

There are easier ways to kill yourself than choking on a plastic bottle.

zing!

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

Wait... one of these is supposed to be false? Fuck. :'(

[Prost]

I thought the point of the thread was to say two awesome things you HAVE done, and then the most believable thing be the lie.. so everyone guesses wrong.

[The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment]

So... is Garnet really a chick or what?

[etiolate]

1. One day when I was in First Grade, it was recess time and I was out on the playground just wandering by myself when I saw a gurney come streaking out of the higher grade level.  There were paramedics all around the gurney and in the gurney was a young black girl. They carried the gurney straight through the playground and up to a waiting amublance and drove away.  My jaw dropped and I looked around the playground to see that every other person did not react at all to the event.  Everyone was just playing and doing as they had always been.
The next week I was sick on Monday and came back on Tuesday. I stayed at a babysitters that was the mother of my friend from school.  My friend came over and was like "DId you hear about what happened yesterday?" And I was like no, I was sick. So he told me that one of the black girls from 6th grade had passed out in the middle of class and that they had to call an ambulance to come and get her.

2. The last time I danced it was at a Valentine's day fashion show/art show/crazy party.  A girl I had the jones for was in the fashion show and it got me into the party free. After the art show and fashion show, the music started up and people came out with booze and like fire performers and everything got dancey crazy fun.  So I start dancing with the girl and her friends, trying to impress I suppose, when about a half hour into it this drunk snaggletoothed woman comes up behind me and whispers "You're a total cigarillo" which shocks me, then she whispers a second later "and you have no rhythm."

And that was the last time I danced.

3. This one was years ago.
One time I met a girl from the internet, she was an e-friend, but this meeting wasn't planned. I just recognized her and saw her name tag at a place of work. I came up to her(it was a bakery) and order a bagel. She starts getting my bagel for me and preparing it.  Meanwhile, I'm smiling like an idiot thinking she recognizes me. She didn't look that much different from back then, she had a very defined nose in the pictures she posted.(Not ugly, but nose ring and angled.) So I think to say, "So you still got the nose ring?" She gives me a weird look and gives this nervous laugh.  She then says, "Did you want cream cheese on this?" I for some reason get to thinking I'm witty and say "Yeah, I'd like some teenchat2 cream cheese on that." Teenchat2 was of course the chatroom I knew her from. She pretty much freezes here. Then she sort of confusedly says they don't have that and I realize she doesn't recognize me, then I realize maybe it's not the girl from the internet. I'm pretty glad I didn't bring up other chatroom things at this point, but I do make a hasty exit. I ended up avoiding that cafe for years, YEARS.

2

nope, 3

[Thee Reverend Gary Davis]

1. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 14.

2. My granddaddy is a commie.

3. my brother and I share a birthday, two years apart.

[Diablos]

So... is Garnet really a chick or what?

No.

[anthonyOA]

i will quite happily perform the medical check up for proof.

[Mr. Gundam]

So, which one is not true?

1. I went to Space Camp in the fourth grade. This fact drives my wife insane, since she believes that only extremely spoiled rich kids and Double Dare winners are the only ones who got to go.

2. After not seeing her for five years, I met up with my junior/senior high school crush for lunch. I had always liked her back in the day, but nothing ever happened. We were good friends, so I figured she didn't like me that way. Before I realize what's going on, we've left the restaurant and are at her parents' house, in her little sister's bedroom having sex... but that's not all. Just as I'm ready to finish, she asks me to FHUTA her. The whole situation is so very not me, I still can't believe it happened.

3. Aside from the Wii, I've owned every single Nintendo console.

[Diablos]

2.

[FlameOfCallandor]

1. I have perfect teeth structure

2. I lived in Japan for a year in high school as a foriegn exchange student.

3. I have never been on a second date(out of 7 or 8 first dates) and I'm about to graduate college 

[Mr. Gundam]

2.

Incorrect. I never owned a Nintendo 64. I've also never played a Pokemon game.

Number two is very true. It happened right after I graduated from college in 2003. We ended up dating and having an extremely wild sex-filled summer and then had a seriously messy breakup in the fall when I went off to graduate school. I didn't post on GAF much that summer, I was... busy.

[Diablos]

  

So did you FHUTA?

[Mr. Gundam]

 

So did you FHUTA?

Like I said, it's all true. She took me on a journey to the land of FHUTA.

[Diablos]

You stud.

[Mr. Gundam]

You stud.

I've never had the heart to tell my wife the whole story. She knows about the FHUTA and she knows that I dated the girl, but nothing else.

[rocketman]

1. I had a bad trip and stripped down to my underwear and rolled around in my front yard, screaming random curse words and itching really bad.

2. I am a Libertarian party representative for Lake County in Florida and have been since March 2005. I attend small rallies, and help put up signs.

3. I used to be a assistant coach for Special Olympics basketball, until I quit to find a job that pays money.

[Diablos]

You stud.

I've never had the heart to tell my wife the whole story. She knows about the FHUTA and she knows that I dated the girl, but nothing else.

Well the FHUTA is probably the worst part, anyway.

[Mr. Gundam]

You stud.

I've never had the heart to tell my wife the whole story. She knows about the FHUTA and she knows that I dated the girl, but nothing else.

Well the FHUTA is probably the worst part, anyway.

I think it's the fact that after not seeing her for five years, we were immediately having sex. That, and the whole "fucking and butt sex on her ten year old sister's bed" part.

The FHUTA is probably the best thing that came out of that relationship, actually.

[Diablos]

Oh my.

[xnikki118x]

1. My ex-boyfriend is the president of the class of 2007 at Princeton.
2. I'm allergic to shellfish, but I really don't care because it's gross.
3. My dad favors me above my brother, and I'm not even biologically his child.

[The Sceneman]

1. I had sex with an asian female DS owner and she bled all over my sheets lol

2. I work for an international shipping line

2. Once I was jerking off and I came all over my Dreamcast lol

[Christopher]

1. I became physically fit in the span of 4 months, and have kept up since that day.  In that timespan  I lost a unnaturally healthy amount of weight between the course of 2 months.

2. I never told anyone besides people online but when they made us pledge we to give us a "break from the norm" we had to eat a whole bucket full of ice cream, and at the end there was a picture of all of our brothers cumming in it.

3. I was once in a religious cult, like hardcore, and toured my state with a group preaching about how good god was, and preforming skits and helping drug addicts homeless ect, until I one day just quit, and fell off the religous wagon hard.

[Diablos]

Nerdy glasses boy: 3

Christopher: 2

[Van Cruncheon]

2, because frat brothers would spurt straight on your face instead of secondhand. gay frat sex is never subtle.

[demi]

I was born out of wedlock.

I am a bastard child.

My father didn't know who I was when I finally met him during a trip to my Grandmother's in New York.

[The Fake Shemp]

One of those is supposed to be a lie, demi!

[demi]

Oh

[Diablos]

 

[Flannel Boy]

1. My great great grandmother was a duchess.

2. I haven't had sex in over three years.

3. I have sold a screenplay.

[rocketman]

1. My great great grandmother was a duchess.

2. I haven't had sex in over three years.

3. I have sold a screenplay.

2 is easily the lie here. The truth is you've never had sex. You're a pathetic human being.

[Wobedraggled]

1. I was in the movie School Ties
2. I once took too many shrooms and taunted a small forest snake for hours
3. I have small testicles, but an above average sized penor.

[Flannel Boy]

rocketman are you as big of a douche in real life?

They have to stop giving inmates their own computers.

[rocketman]

rocketman are you as big of a douche in real life?

They have to stop giving inmates their own computers.

You're lucky you never have to deal with me in real life. I'd leave you in Orlando on OBT with a sign in your ass.

[Flannel Boy]

You're lucky you never have to deal with me in real life. I'd leave you in Orlando on OBT with a sign in your ass.

Internet tough guys are so scary. You are a worthless poster and worthless poser. Go fuck off you dimwitted dickless piece of shit.

[Cheebs]

1. Every pet I have owned has been named after Frank Zappa or one of his children
2. I used to be a Republican
3. I starred in a commercial

[rocketman]

Internet tough guys are so scary. You are a worthless poster and worthless poser. Go fuck off you dimwitted dickless piece of shit.

It was moreso a joke towards your bullshit, but ok.

I'd like to see you come to Florida and say that, though. Would be fun ;0

[Mupepe]

1. Every pet I have owned has been named after Frank Zappa or one of his children
2. I used to be a Republican
3. I starred in a commercial

2

[Bloodwake]

1. I've been to Jesus Camp (though not the one in the video) at Liberty University, the Jerry Falwell run place, for three years during middle/high school.

2. I'm not really a virgin, but who I had sex with makes me wish I was. She was my best friend, and she basically left me the next day and told me never to speak to her again. It broke my fucking heart. Insert emo lyrics/LJ entry link here.

3. The Dark Shake was the one who invited me to Evilbore.... but don't worry, I think he's pretty fucking annoying too 

[Phoenix Dark]

1. I've been to Jesus Camp (though not the one in the video) at Liberty University, the Jerry Falwell run place, for three years during middle/high school.

2. I'm not really a virgin, but who I had sex with makes me wish I was. She was my best friend, and she basically left me the next day and told me never to speak to her again. It broke my fucking heart. Insert emo lyrics/LJ entry link here.

3. The Dark Shake was the one who invited me to Evilbore.... but don't worry, I think he's pretty fucking annoying too 

1 no doubt

Don't worry buddy, I've been to similar things

[Bloodwake]

1. I've been to Jesus Camp (though not the one in the video) at Liberty University, the Jerry Falwell run place, for three years during middle/high school.

2. I'm not really a virgin, but who I had sex with makes me wish I was. She was my best friend, and she basically left me the next day and told me never to speak to her again. It broke my fucking heart. Insert emo lyrics/LJ entry link here.

3. The Dark Shake was the one who invited me to Evilbore.... but don't worry, I think he's pretty fucking annoying too 

1 no doubt

Don't worry buddy, I've been to similar things

Correct, number one is true....

[Cheebs]

1. Every pet I have owned has been named after Frank Zappa or one of his children
2. I used to be a Republican
3. I starred in a commercial

2

correct sir

[Mupepe]

1. Every pet I have owned has been named after Frank Zappa or one of his children
2. I used to be a Republican
3. I starred in a commercial

2

correct sir

I knew the answer because of this saying:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

If you're young and a Republican, you've got no heart.  If you're old and a Democrat, you've got no money.

[close]