Author Topic: EB SWINE FLU DEATH WATCH (Read 12924 times)

Billy Rygar · « **on:** April 29, 2009, 04:02:37 PM »

MUPEPE: MEXICAN, SUSPECTED DEAD
Bacchus7 : DEAD
TVC: WANTS TO DIE, STILL HAS GOD'S WORK LEFT TO DO ON EARTH
PD: DEATH WATCH
WRIKAWREK: DEATH WATCH
KOSMA: AIDS
HIMURO: DYING, TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS
DENNYS: STILL IN DEBATE
SEAN PENN: distinguished mentally-challenged
KENTUCKY: ON DEATH WATCH
EVERYONE ELSE: STILL ALIVE

I will update this as more people die.

Reb · « **Reply #1 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:05:25 PM »

KARMA FLU

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #2 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:08:06 PM »

If I make myself scared enough of this garden variety flu, I will have a convenient scapegoat for when I let my anger out on someone.

Reb · « **Reply #3 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:09:50 PM »

My farts are really smelly, is that a symptom?

Reb · « **Reply #4 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:11:56 PM »

Fried pork, or a living pig?

Bocsius · « **Reply #5 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:11:56 PM »

The first US death was reported this morning in Texas.

It's only a matter of time. We need a good plague, anyway. It's time to thin the herd.

Reb · « **Reply #6 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:12:10 PM »

Because it's the second.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #7 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:13:42 PM »

Quote from: Bocsius on April 29, 2009, 04:11:56 PM

The first US death was reported this morning in Texas.

It's only a matter of time. We need a good plague, anyway. It's time to thin the herd.

Could've been a messican though. Or someone recently back from messico.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #8 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:16:07 PM »

[youtube=560,345]vyX9zdcU0T0[/youtube]

ManaByte · « **Reply #9 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:20:31 PM »

Diunx · « **Reply #10 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:21:26 PM »

The first case in my country was reported this morning, the infected person was moved to a hospital right next to where I used to work, looks like I got out just in time.

Bocsius · « **Reply #11 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:23:43 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on April 29, 2009, 04:17:37 PM

Quote from: Bocsius on April 29, 2009, 04:11:56 PM
The first US death was reported this morning in Texas.

It's only a matter of time. We need a good plague, anyway. It's time to thin the herd.

So you're saying that this epidemic is a bio-weapon made by the government to stimulate the economy by getting rid of (poor) dead weight?

The targetting is still a work in progress. It would be most beneficial if it only affected the elderly, homeless, and unemployed.

Akala · « **Reply #12 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:26:06 PM »

The fact that outlets are reporting a 'toddler' or baby death irks me because it's so sensationalist.

The kid was almost two! Is that even a toddler? Who the fuck calls a kid a 23-month-year-old instead of a two-year-old?

Eric P · « **Reply #13 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:27:30 PM »

Quote from: Akala on April 29, 2009, 04:26:06 PM

The fact that outlets are reporting a 'toddler' or baby death irks me because it's so sensationalist.

The kid was almost two! Is that even a toddler? Who the fuck calls a kid a 23-month-year-old instead of a two-year-old?

come to new york and you can see 5 year olds in fucking strollers

Bocsius · « **Reply #14 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:28:16 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on April 29, 2009, 04:26:08 PM

Quote from: Bocsius on April 29, 2009, 04:23:43 PM
The targetting is still a work in progress. It would be most beneficial if it only affected the elderly, homeless, and unemployed.

They'll just have to figure out what those three groups have in common. Hmmm.

Government aid. Infect them via government checks.

Diunx · « **Reply #15 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:28:57 PM »

Will you guys think about me when I'm gone?

Lone · « **Reply #16 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:29:18 PM »

http://www.abevigoda.com/
As far as I can tell, Abe Vigoda hasn't succumbed to this disease.

I think I'm alive right now too, but I'm waiting on the MRI results.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #17 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:32:41 PM »

There are cases in Ohio.

I'm going to Columbus on Saturday.

I'm fucked.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #18 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:37:28 PM »

OMG you are all going to die.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #19 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:40:24 PM »

My "plan" to stay secluded in my apartment is coming to an end; I'm flying home to Toronto on May 5th.

GoofyGoober · « **Reply #20 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:43:31 PM »

Quote from: Akala on April 29, 2009, 04:26:06 PM

The fact that outlets are reporting a 'toddler' or baby death irks me because it's so sensationalist.

The kid was almost two! Is that even a toddler? Who the fuck calls a kid a 23-month-year-old instead of a two-year-old?

Most of the terms used come from Childrens Clothing. For younger children the clothing size is given by age, 0-3 Months, 3-6 Months, 6-12 months, 18 months. Then it turns into 2, 2t,3,3t,4,4t, etc.. So most people use the age of the children in months until two as it's easier for another parent to relate. Toddler clothes are 18 month to about 3 years. after that you get into Childrens sizes of "3" or "4", so toddler is used for up to 3 years old.

I was subjected to way to much Yuppie Parent Speak over the holidays almost enough to make me build a bomb shelter to hide inside.

drozmight · « **Reply #21 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:46:48 PM »

I'm half Mexican.

HALF OF ME IS DEAD.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #22 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:51:29 PM »

the only good things to come from Mexico are Selma Hayek and tacos:

drozmight · « **Reply #23 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:54:35 PM »

Imagine eating a taco while boning Selma Hayek.

...yeah.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #24 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:56:57 PM »

imagine eating her taco!

Ganhyun · « **Reply #25 on:** April 29, 2009, 04:58:34 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on April 29, 2009, 04:56:28 PM

You guys disgust me.

Quote from: Malek on April 29, 2009, 04:56:57 PM

imagine eating her taco!

Diunx · « **Reply #26 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:01:04 PM »

Tacos

Salma Hayek boobs

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #27 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:04:15 PM »

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #28 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:06:38 PM »

Leper Jin

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #29 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:18:01 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on April 29, 2009, 05:08:45 PM

I'm sorry malek, please accept this government check as an apology.

Are you giving me a tiny Canadian student loan cheque or a giant Saudi welfare cheque?

Tauntaun · « **Reply #30 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:19:05 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on April 29, 2009, 05:08:45 PM

I'm sorry malek, please accept this government check as an apology.

Bocsius · « **Reply #31 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:19:48 PM »

Quote from: Malek on April 29, 2009, 05:18:01 PM

Quote from: Jinfash on April 29, 2009, 05:08:45 PM
I'm sorry malek, please accept this government check as an apology.

Are you giving me a tiny Canadian student loan cheque or a giant Saudi welfare cheque?

A swine flu 2.0 target and kill the poor check

Rman · « **Reply #32 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:31:39 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on April 29, 2009, 04:08:39 PM

ISN'T RMAN MEXICAN (and/or Puerto Rican)? IS HE STILL ALIVE?

I'm fine.

For now.

ManaByte · « **Reply #33 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:31:51 PM »

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/NLT404484.htm

WHO confirms pandemic threat raised to 5 out of 6
29 Apr 2009 20:14:06 GMT
Source: Reuters
GENEVA, April 29 (Reuters) - World Health Organization director-general Dr. Margaret Chan raised the pandemic threat awareness level to 5 out of 6 on Wednesday, meaning the world is at imminent risk of a pandemic from H1N1 swine flu.

"I have decided to raise the level of influenza pandemic alert from phase 4 to phase 5," Chan told a news briefing.

drew · « **Reply #34 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:51:47 PM »

ive been taking my mom to doctor visits all day every day for like the past week, so ill probably get this

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #35 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:52:24 PM »

See, this pandemic isn't all bad.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #36 on:** April 29, 2009, 05:52:57 PM »

I've never been to margretchan.

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #37 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:29:15 PM »

At work today I saw some old lady shopping with a surgeon's mask on.

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #38 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:31:31 PM »

Naw, she was a whitey

Reb · « **Reply #39 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:31:55 PM »

Blasian?

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #40 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:45:14 PM »

Cajole is a 'rican, which is basically a Mexican. He's probably dead.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #41 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:46:46 PM »

I'm eating ham right now, and I'm cooking sausage and ziti for dinner

Barry Egan · « **Reply #42 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:55:42 PM »

oh my!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #43 on:** April 29, 2009, 06:56:52 PM »

The only way to survive is to choose Islam or Jew stuff.

I'm rollin' with Jinfash on this one

TVC15 · « **Reply #44 on:** April 29, 2009, 07:01:48 PM »

Is it possible that I've had swine flu since february? Maybe the painful arthritis, constant bad feeling of intensity, and the deterioration of several major internal organs are symptoms. Plus, people with the flu throw up a lot, right? I threw up like a pint of milk last night. Maybe it is making me think I want to be dead, too. also the constant chest pain. It feels like my heart is trying to bench press more than it can handle.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #45 on:** April 29, 2009, 07:04:43 PM »

Nah TVC, I'm guessing you're still suffering from Tuna Flu

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #46 on:** April 29, 2009, 07:06:12 PM »

Strike that, it must be Jew Flu

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #47 on:** April 29, 2009, 07:12:18 PM »

I wouldn't count out Whiteman being patient zero.

drew · « **Reply #48 on:** April 29, 2009, 07:43:51 PM »

Quote from: Malek on April 29, 2009, 05:52:24 PM

See, this pandemic isn't all bad.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #49 on:** April 29, 2009, 07:47:21 PM »

Take consolation in the fact that Malek's flight will probably get grounded increasing his feeling of isolation in Winnipeg. I can just imagine it now it'd be like Shaun of the Dead but with the flu.

drew · « **Reply #50 on:** April 29, 2009, 08:19:05 PM »

edit: wrong thread fml

Brehvolution · « **Reply #51 on:** April 29, 2009, 11:42:27 PM »

The next wave will be a fish/chicken strand. They'll call in "Ficken Flu" or "surf and turf death".

drew · « **Reply #52 on:** April 30, 2009, 12:00:24 AM »

bird flu was the shit

i had dead birds in my backyard

you didnt have to be coughed on or nothin, just bitten by the wrong mosquito african style

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #53 on:** April 30, 2009, 01:07:14 AM »

Shat Pack. It's here.

Quote from: Seattle PI

First probable cases of swine flu in state reported

Public health officials reported six probable cases of swine flu at a hastily called press conference Wednesday night, the first such cases to be reported within the state.

Three cases were reported from the Seattle area -- a hugh school student, a 27-year-old male and a 33-year-old woman who is a primary care physician.

The other cases are in Snohomish County, where a 6-year-old male and a 34-year-old female were reported infected, and in Spokane, where an adult male was reported stricken.

Quote from: Seattle Times

King County health officials report three probable cases of swine flu. And health officials report six probable cases in Washington state.

In addition to the three cases in King County, there are two probable cases in Snohomish County and one in Spokane, officials said in a hastily called press conference Wednesday night.

Bacchus7 · « **Reply #54 on:** April 30, 2009, 02:12:36 AM »

I just got a fever, cough, sore throat, etc. Can add me to death watch.

TVC15 · « **Reply #55 on:** April 30, 2009, 02:27:05 AM »

From now on, whenever you meet with me, greet me with a few coughs on the face and mouth. Maybe an eyeball licking to be extra sure.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #56 on:** April 30, 2009, 12:34:06 PM »

They closed down the school the 11-year-old attends in Seattle until next Wednesday. I'm sure the local news stations will be freaking out over this tonight.

Rman · « **Reply #57 on:** April 30, 2009, 12:45:10 PM »

Has any able bodied person in the US died of this? The only thing I remember was a toddler in Texas. Could it be possible that any healthy adult that catches swine flu would only get really sick, like, you know, the flu, and just get over it? The media is just loving this.

Akala · « **Reply #58 on:** April 30, 2009, 12:50:03 PM »

I want everyone to start calling swine flu PESTE DE PUERCO. Sounds so much cooler, although I think it's closer to "pig plague/plague of the pig." Which is still better.

**thinking about it, wouldn't it be DEL instead of DE? WE :'(

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #59 on:** April 30, 2009, 01:25:48 PM »

I'm not running around afraid that I'm going to die or anything, but I am a little freaked out since I work in the schools and stuff always spreads really fast around here.

News:

Author Topic: EB SWINE FLU DEATH WATCH (Read 12924 times)