Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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Nothing like going through the drive-in stoned to the bone and carrying exact change, only to get dissed and have the person behind you wonder why the fuck it's taking this douchebag in front of them so long to order off the dollar menu.
I just noticed the other day that McDonald's double cheeseburger is no longer on the dollar menu.