Girl topic

[Bebpo]

This has been entertaining, especially the completely unexpected wtfff Patel reveal, but since I don't really expect a msg back I think the laughs are probably at an end. 

Also, I wouldnt be distraught by Patel's words. He comes across as more of a prude than you would be, Bebpo.

Stop trying to get on my good side 

[Bebpo]

It is too bad that the IQ test thingy is down as I'm pretty curious where I would fall. 

[demi]

Patel should help a bro out and hook you two up. Maybe he is just jealous you will save the princess and win the game.

[Flannel Boy]

Patel is an English major. Surely he could invent a better, more logical metaphor. For example: "She's bad at dating, but boy is she good at Missle Command."

[MyNameIsMethodis]

When we're playing Defender she sure sucks at hyperspace.

[Joe Molotov]

He meant Strip Fighter.

[Fresh Prince]

4000 words?

stalker much?

smh. smh.

@ Patel

[Flannel Boy]

In his defense, he said 4000 characters, not words.

[Fresh Prince]

Where did I get 4000 words from? mojovino smh.

[Flannel Boy]

He needs to post the message.

[Fresh Prince]

The amount of characters in his message prolly sent her off

[MyNameIsMethodis]

She probably figured "why read this losers message when I can play with the emotional heart strings of other young turks who like video games"

[archie4208]

Couldn't you have just sent her a message and been like "hey I noticed we have some things in common wanna hang out sometime"?

[Fresh Prince]

As if that hasn't been said a million times already.

[archie4208]

I just want to pour more salt on the wound.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

4000 characters? What are you trying to do? Bathe her in a sea of despair?

[chronovore]

Yup, you totally blew it.  Writing her a bible as an introductory message?  Should have just sent her a pic of your jrpg collection and said "let's get busy."

This.

[Bebpo]

I wrote a few paragraph short amusing story about how I learned Japanese through videogames and where that led me as support for her thesis, jeez.  You guess make it seem like I sent a 10 page rant of emotion or something, lol.

Anyhow, like I said at the start: she hadn't even been online/checked her mails for a week.  There's a good chance she left the site or took a break from it meaning that she'll never even read it, there won't be a msg back, and this thread will lack the funny ending it deserves.

Although Patel could still make a funny end to this thread.  Or if it turns out that the girl in question actually posts here, that could be a lol-material finale as well.  But most likely there will be no final chapter.


And I'm not going to repost my msg here because it's kind of boring to the EB crowd.  If it was a 10 page emotional rant I would repost it for the amusement of others.  But I think the response it would elicit from you guys would be "...oh".

[tiesto]

These dating sites are great, because they could lead to actually going and meeting someone. But you can't fucking depend on them. Stop being such fucking assbergers and talk to a random girl IRL every once and a while. You don't have to be trying to get in to her pants or anything, but work on your social skills.

Sending a 4000+ word message and opening up to a complete stranger is worrying, bud. Reign yourself in.

I do both dating sites and talking to girls I meet at bars/hangout spots... They supplement each other.

[Bebpo]

I've never been to a bar.  I wonder if I should check one out to see what it's like one day.  I always imagined bars would be filled with the people you see at bars in movies, which are kind of like the biker bar tough burly people.  But a lot of cute girl profiles says they go to bars/dive bars on the weekends.

I randomly talk to people in real life, but they're just little "oh hey, blah blah blah" conversations that last like a minute and I never see the person again.  I guess you could say I'm fine at starting conversations, but I don't carry them for too long.

[Bebpo]

One thing interesting that came out of this thread is why do like half of EBers live in Oregon???  There seems to be a lot of you guys there.  We should have an EB convention in Oregon one year.

[demi]

tell her u like scratches

[Bebpo]

tell her u like scratches

I'll tell you I like scratches

spoiler (click to show/hide)

if I like scratches

[close]

[demi]

*scritch scritch*

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Bars are ok for friends but bad for pick ups.  Most women know why you're there and as a result, the odds are stacked against you as soon as you walk in the door.  If you go in there wanting to have a good time first and pick up women second, I think you will have fun if you go with friends.  If you get a girl, it is a nice bonus.  If you go in there expecting to get your pencil wet right off the bat, you will probably find yourself disappointed, unless waiting at the tail end to see whatever drunk chicks are left, which of course is pretty seedy.

The downside of course is that everything is fucking expensive.  What I did during my college days was just get loaded before going to the bar by pounding down a few shots.  By the time I got into the bar, I had a pretty good buzz going and just maintained it.

You should go to some sometime.

[tiesto]

Sadly, by the time you're my age, out of school and working full time, you really have very little options other than the bars or online. Some bars can be fun, the more relaxed, low-key ones, or gimmick ones. But your typical college-hangout Irish pub filled with frat boys and/or guidos... DO NOT WANT

[Cyanista]

So you learned Japanese from video games.  If you're ever in Japan and need to tell everyone around you to transform, or need to alert passerby to the fact that you are being raped by a tentacle demon, you will be set.


SMH.

[recursivelyenumerable]

a bar is just a place where people go to hang out and drink, the fact that it's a bar doesn't really determine its clientele.

[Human Snorenado]

a bar is just a place where people go to hang out and drink, the fact that it's a bar doesn't really determine its clientele.

But they have a stigmata.

yeah, with whiny little pussies

[recursivelyenumerable]

stigmata

hot

[Reb]

stigmata

hot

a stigmata

[Fresh Prince]

mojovino is the new arvie.

Bars are good with friends, don't be that guy that sits alone.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I'm that guy    The problem is while I have friends, I don't have any friends I'd want to go to a bar with. 

[Fresh Prince]

Lounges?

[recursivelyenumerable]

wtf is a lounge, besides a kind of chair?

[Fresh Prince]

Just a type of bar which is more relaxed, uppercrust etc.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I guess that's sort of what the small bar down the street from my apartment is.  I don't go there with friends, but I have quasi-friends who are there all the time.  Everybody there knows my name, though I'm not sure if they're always glad I came, or if our troubles are all the same.

[OptimoPeach]

Everybody there knows my name, though I'm not sure if they're always glad I came, or if our troubles are all the same.

[Phoenix Dark]

I wrote a few paragraph short amusing story about how I learned Japanese through videogames

[youtube=560,345]_Xm1XErUvXo[/youtube]

[Fresh Prince]

Whatever happened to that vampire chick, PD?

[drohne]

if you go to bars regularly, make a point of talking to people, and are not hideous or hideously awkward, you will get laid soon enough. if that's what you're looking for. apparently alcohol weakens inhibitions or something, who would've guessed

i'm somehow moved into the exact epicenter of all the bars i used to drive out to, and i guess they're all crammed with useless hipsters, but it's funny how characteristic and distinct each bar's breed of useless hipsters is

[recursivelyenumerable]

useless hipsters

[Fresh Prince]

useless hipsters

[drohne]

never mind

[Fresh Prince]

Now I'm intrigued 

[Eric P]

hipsters

[tiesto]

I'd kill to replace the guidos and fratboys at the majority of Island bars with hipsters...

especially hipster chicks, yum!

[recursivelyenumerable]

why don't you just move to Portland then?

[Loki]

Thread hijack, since it's not worth its own thread.  What would you guys do in this situation:


I have a VERY attractive friend whom I've known since freshman year of college (12 years).  We've lost touch for longish periods of time here and there, but she's always flirted with me (in fact, she said that the reason she first started talking to me was because she thought I was cute).  She's always had a BF whenever we've actively been communicating (emails/calls or hanging out).

Now, she's been with her current BF for about 2 years and is planning on moving to Cali with him since he'll be attending Berkeley grad school there.  Thing is, I've gotten pretty close with her over the past couple of months, and it turns out that I completely misjudged her as a person.  All these years I viewed her as a sophisticate -- very cultured, refined, and slightly aloof and impassive (though she was always pleasant).  Now, while I have no problem with that type of girl, it's not my cup of tea; I tend to prefer more down to earth girls who can watch a movie and dig into a bowl of ice cream with me in addition to doing other stuff like visiting museums etc.  I also love girls who have a good sense of humor.  Long story short, it turns out after hanging out with her a couple of times recently that she's actually very sentimental and does have a good sense of humor (the determinant of which is whether or not she laughs at my bad jokes ). 

So I was pretty blown away by this.  Here's this girl who I'm INSANELY attracted to physically, and it turns out that she's really sweet underneath it all.  This is pretty stunning because I'm generally a very good judge of character/personality.  Now I find myself growing closer and closer to her.  She's forever flirting with me, and flat out tells me how attractive I am, what a wonderful smile and sense of humor I have etc.  I flirt with her too, but try to do it more subtly, since I take moral issue with blatantly hitting on another dude's GF.


My question is this: given the fact that I see her in a completely different light, and feel that there might be romantic potential there, is it proper for me to pursue it?  I mean, I do realize it's improper, but on a scale of unethicality, how wrong is it to pursue a girl who isn't engaged? (Being engaged would be a clear "off limits" sign for me.)  Another issue I have is that I'm not head over heels in love with her or anything, in which case I might be inclined to go the "all's fair in love and war" route; I simply think that there's romantic potential there and would like to date her.  But I can't bring myself to possibly ruin a dude's life just because something might work out between us, since he loves her and is (presumably) prepared to go the distance with her.  After all, what if I threw a wrench in their relationship and then decided down the road that she wasn't right for me -- now she's shit outta luck, and that would suck.  I'm generally not a selfish person and do not endorse selfishness (as anyone who's been subjected to my moralizing can attest to ); in fact, I've basically never acted selfishly to anyone outside of my immediate family...but I'm having a hard time with this.


She's staying with her dad now in another state until she moves to Cali (her BF was on a visa that expired, so he can't get back into the US until the Summer).  I figure if she comes to NY again to visit her family that we can spend a day in the city doing semi-romantic things (dinner, maybe an off-Broadway show and a nighttime cruise), and I'll be able to gauge her reaction to that as well as to my flirting.  I think it'll just get to a point where I say "if things ever don't work out with you and X, I'd like to date you."  We're both old enough, and mature enough, where saying that wouldn't be a total fail (and, as I said, she definitely sends enough signals to suggest it isn't one-sided).  Then again, I might just go to kiss her at the right moment and see how she reacts.

I'm very conflicted.  Mostly because I've always done the right thing in my life (yeah, laugh it up, but I try my best to be a decent guy).  Yes, there are many other girls, and I date fairly regularly, but now I'm kinda smitten.


I also realize that this is partly (okay, mostly) a thinly veiled attempt to have others help me rationalize my selfishness and push me past my self-imposed ethical boundaries.   I've just never been - or wanted to be - "that guy" (i.e., a dick), but I'm very tempted to be that guy in this case.  HALP!   

As usual for my posts, there isn't an abridged tl;dr version.  Sorry.

[WrikaWrek]

If you like her then go for it.

It's simple.

[Loki]

If you like her then go for it.

It's simple.

I just don't think it's that simple.  I like her, not love her.  Her BF, however, does love her, and is willing to move to another state with her.  What if things don't work out with us (assuming she's game)?  I'd feel terrible, since we're not 20 years old anymore.

The other side, of course, is to wonder how strong their relationship was if it could so easily be torn apart; perhaps they weren't meant for one another.  But that strikes me as more rationalization.

[WrikaWrek]

Who's to say you can get her? Who's to say if you get her you won't fall in love with her? She might be your future wife, and he might never become anything more than he is now.

Life is too short. I'm not telling you to jump on her like you are in a hurry, but don't dismiss the idea, and see where it goes. You never start by loving someone. 

[Loki]

Who's to say you can get her?

There's definitely something there on her end.  Whether it's enough to cause her to end her relationship, who knows.  I won't know until I try (if I decide to do so, which I likely won't).

You never start by loving someone. 

I realize that; I'd just like to have a bit stronger of a feeling than attraction/interest considering the rules I'd be breaking.

[recursivelyenumerable]

> $len = ([string](gc ~\loki-dilemma.txt)).Length; $len
4662
> $len -gt 4000
True

will reply after bebpo's girl does

[WrikaWrek]

Who's to say you can get her?

There's definitely something there on her end.  Whether it's enough to cause her to end her relationship, who knows.  I won't know until I try (if I decide to do so, which I likely won't).

You never start by loving someone. 

I realize that; I'd just like to have a bit stronger of a feeling than attraction/interest considering the rules I'd be breaking.

Unless the guy is a big friend of yours, or she's married, you aren't breaking any rules so don't worry.

[chronovore]

If you like her then go for it.

It's simple.

I just don't think it's that simple.  I like her, not love her.  Her BF, however, does love her, and is willing to move to another state with her.  What if things don't work out with us (assuming she's game)?  I'd feel terrible, since we're not 20 years old anymore.

The other side, of course, is to wonder how strong their relationship was if it could so easily be torn apart; perhaps they weren't meant for one another.  But that strikes me as more rationalization.

See, that's you being considerate of a guy you don't know, over a girl you do know, and like. That's chivalrous. Or romantic. Or something. But she's flirting with you -- why? Isn't it a little creepy that she's got a guy who's really into her, but she's still flirting and giving you hope that things might work out?

[drohne]

going after taken girls probably isn't very nice -- most of us don't give a fuck about the dude, but it tends to make the girl unhappy too. but somehow the fact of a girl having a boyfriend never really has any weight with me unless he's a good friend. i don't know, it seems like all the girls i meet have boyfriends

but yeah, don't say the 'if you break up with him i'd like to date you' thing. actually i think most of the things under the 'why not we're both adults' heading are best left unsaid

[muckhole]

but yeah, don't say the 'if you break up with him i'd like to date you' thing. actually i think most of the things under the 'why not we're both adults' heading are best left unsaid

Very true. It's a pretty prickly situation though, if she's waiting for a sign that he's interested and won't act until she feels that's the case.

See, that's you being considerate of a guy you don't know, over a girl you do know, and like. That's chivalrous. Or romantic. Or something. But she's flirting with you -- why? Isn't it a little creepy that she's got a guy who's really into her, but she's still flirting and giving you hope that things might work out?

Yeah, there's this too. It's corny, but there's always that thought of "If she's in a serious relationship, and she's still flirting that much with me, will she be doing the same when we're together with someone else?".

As for considerations for "the other guy", you may be saving him from a much bigger heartbreak down the road.

So hell if I know.

[Loki]

Very true. It's a pretty prickly situation though, if she's waiting for a sign that he's interested and won't act until she feels that's the case.

That's the only reason I'd be saying it, really.  I probably won't, but if I did, it's because I think she may be at that point you described.

Yeah, there's this too. It's corny, but there's always that thought of "If she's in a serious relationship, and she's still flirting that much with me, will she be doing the same when we're together with someone else?".

Believe me, I've thought about that too.   I mean, she flirts, but it's never in a sexually suggestive way, just an "I find you very attractive and appealing" kind of way.  She does say things that she probably wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) say in front of her BF, though.

As for considerations for "the other guy", you may be saving him from a much bigger heartbreak down the road.

So hell if I know.

Yeah, hell if I know either.  I'll probably just let this blow over and get over it, to be honest.  Not worth the trouble or the compromising of my character.

[Bebpo]

> $len = ([string](gc ~\loki-dilemma.txt)).Length; $len
4662
> $len -gt 4000
True

will reply after bebpo's girl does

I got my reply, so you can help loki now