Fuckin AOL

[Ecrofirt]

Not only is AOL dial-up in and of itself a bane of my existence, but now I find out that I can't fucking download the full version of AOL 9.1 for a client with dial-up. Instead, they have you download a tiny shitty installer file which then downloads the rest of the software. I just did this for a client with DSL the other day and it was a 15 minute process. I might as well tell the old man I'm going to today that he's more likely to die than have AOL finish downloading its installer with his shitty dial-up speeds.

FUCKING A.

[Powerslave]

Fuck yeah, our monthly Ecrofirt-complaining-about-tech-services thread

[Brehvolution]

AOLOL

[Joe Molotov]

AOHell, amirite guys?

[Tucah]

I seriously had no idea AOL still existed.

[Ecrofirt]

Fuck me, I knew this would happen. I wasted like two fucking hours at this guy's place today. The last version of AOL that I could get a full installer for was 9.0 Optimized (http://www.oldversion.com/America-Online.html). 9.1 requires that you download a small installer which then downloads the full program. Why the fuck they can't have an offline installer for their shitty product blows my mind.

Anyhow, I installed 9.0 optimized, which doesn't work incredibly well in Vista. And I get the goddamn thing set up for dial-up access. And then I sign in. And then I sign out and download an update. And then I sign in. And then I sign out and download an update. And then I sign in. AND THEN I SIGN OUT AND DOWNLOAD AN UPDATE.. And then I sign in. AND THEN I SIGN OUT AND DOWNLOAD A MOTHERFUCKING UPDATE. And then I try to sign in again. The fucking update broke AOL. My options? FUCKING REINSTALL.

So I fucking reinstall. And I get the goddamn thing set up for dial-up access. And then I sign in. And then I sign out and download an update. And then I sign in. And then I sign out and download an update. And then I sign in. AND THEN I SIGN OUT AND DOWNLOAD AN UPDATE.. And then I sign in. AND THEN I SIGN OUT AND DOWNLOAD A MOTHERFUCKING UPDATE. And then I try to sign in again. The fucking update broke AOL. My options? FUCKING REINSTALL. Fuck you. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AOL, FUCK YOU.


Fuck you AOL. You are the fucking mother of hell. I have the guy's PC with me so I can waste time at work tomorrow updating AOL to the current version only to go to his fucking house again and plug this fucking PC in again.

God fucking damnit.

[Joe Molotov]

Have you tried using Prodigy instead? I hear it's pretty sweet.

[Tauntaun]

Man, are you gonna kill your kid when he misbehaves? 



He just wouldn't eat his mashed peas.  HE JUST WOULDN'T EAT THEM!  ARRGGGHH!! 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Rman]

I had no idea AOL was still available.

[Powerslave]

What is AOL anyway? I never understood what it precisely was.

[Tauntaun]

What is AOL anyway? I never understood what it precisely was.

It's America Online you commie.   

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Powerslave]

What is AOL anyway? I never understood what it precisely was.

It's America Online you commie.  

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

I know that! But what does it do?

[Tauntaun]

I know that! But what does it do?

Gives you the illusion that you'll get online.   

[Bildi]

I gather AOL is package that you buy that includes a subscription and programs to install on your computer which gets you online and doing email through their own software, and gives you access to some amazing AOL-exclusive features?

And I gather it's supposed to be easy for noobs but never works and is a total nightmare compared to doing things the normal way?

And I gather lots of old people buy it, and then end up ringing their tech-savvy young relatives to help them?

If this is correct, I know the feeling.  I'm helping my ex's mother get something like this going and rather than help I really want to say "return all this fucking expensive rip-off shit and get a normal connection like everyone else".

[bork]

What is AOL anyway? I never understood what it precisely was.

It is (was?  do they still even provide their own content?) an online service provider that also had its own community apart from usenet and later the web.  You could sign on and send mail to other members, join chat rooms, and post in various community discussions.  Pretty much went down the shitter when the web came along and other ISPs popped up with better rates and faster speeds.  There was a point in time around the mid-90s when fucking EVERYBODY used it though.

[DJ_Tet]

This should blow the young kids' minds....


Back when people used AOL, they paid for the internet by the hour.  Can you imagine?  You had a limited amount of hours you could stay logged in, if you went over they charged you. 

It sounds crazy nowadays but that was how AOL made a shitload of money.  What were the other web-portals, Compuserve?  Seems like there was another one as well...*edit* Prodigy, that's it...


And people complain about bandwidth caps, can you imagine a time where people timed their online sessions?  It wasn't that long ago (of course in internet terms it was several generations ago.)

That's a hilarious story by the way Ecro, thanks for typing it all out.  I can totally imagine that scenario playing out too.  Must be maddening.

[xnikki118x]

We got AOL at my house in 1994, used ProLog in 1995, and went back to AOL in 1996. I was still using it as late as March of last year while living with my grandparents and using dial-up. I didn't get high speed until I moved back in with my parents, who got it while I was in college living with my grandparents.

xnikki118x was my AOL screenname back in the day. You can see I don't like change.

Anyone else remember how AOL used to take like half an hour to connect to the internet? Or how the world like exploded with problems when 4.0 came out?

[Ecrofirt]

So I got AOL 9.1 installed and fully updated while at work yesterday. I then brought the computer back to the guy's house, whereupon his wife insisted that I give their monitor an 800x600 resolution despite my warnings that they may run into issues at that resolution (note: my attempt to use 1024x768 with 120DPI for bigger text also got shot down). I showed them around Vista and AOL 9.1, both of which they seemed happy with. I warned them that they would likely experience some  unforseen differences in the software between their old PC (XP with AOL 9.0 Security Edition) and their new PC (Vista with AOL 9.1). They were happy with everything, but I totally expected a phone call. And boy, did I ever get a phone call today.

What I experienced on the phone today can only be described as a domestic dispute. Have you ever tried to explain to an enraged 82 year old woman that the new version of AOL doesn't work as well on an 800x600 screen, and that she would always have to expand her Mail window just a bit so she could see her scroll bar? Have you ever heard an 83 year old ex-Marine continually scream at his wife to shut the hell up so he could explain to her that the new version of AOL is different? I have. Have you ever had to explain to an enraged 82 year old woman that the Mail windows in AOL 9.1 is slightly different than the Mail window in AOL 9.0, and she now has to click on a different button than she used to in order see her mail a certain way? Have you ever heard an 83 year old ex-Marine repeatedly scream at his wife to shut the hell up and listen to me? I have.

Jumpin friggin Jesus, what a phone call that was. I came away flabbergasted, and I've both seen and heard these two fight before.

[xnikki118x]

That's pretty horrifying. What do you even say? "Hey, why don't you call me back when you're not screaming at each other?" Wow.

[Tauntaun]

  Dude






 


 :'(