Why do you need to go to the toilet and take a shit when you're nervous?

[SantaC]

One of the mysteries in life.

[Bebpo]

Nervous = Stress.  Stress causes your system to go haywire.  Which causes systems to not work right and pass everything through their system.

I am no doctor

[Bildi]

Don't be so modest.

[Flannel Boy]

Evolution.

Our ancestors, when threatened by vicious animals or neighboring tribes, became stressed. That stress served a defensive function, aiding their ability to fight or simply to run away. But that wasn't enough when faced with bigger, faster animals or larger, better organized tribes.

Luckily our ancestors evolved the ability to defecate as soon as they became stressed. This provided them with an important defensive advantage in combat, allowing them to use their own feces as a weapon by flinging it at their attackers. They could also use their feces to intimidate opponents by smearing it all over themselves. The pre-historic men who were unable to defecate on the spot were killed off and, consequently, unable to pass their non-pooping-stress genes on to us.

Some of our ancestors then evolved the ability to urinate as soon as they became stressed, giving, at least our male-ancestors, a long-range weapon they could aim at opponents. From that point, it wouldn't be long until the Earth belonged to Man.

[SantaC]

^ that certainly clears it up!

[Veidt]

Malek pwns

[GilloD]

When you shake the poop comes loose.

[Powerslave]

I told you evolution made sense!

[brawndolicious]

Yeah what malek said.  A lot of animals do that actually.  My biology teacher was telling me how gopher tortoises  in blackberry season would actually cover you in purple pee when you catch them.

[Flannel Boy]

Yeah what malek said. 

 :tbslol

edit:

Some of us also evolved the ability to throw-up while stressed. When surrounded, our ancestors would get extremely stressed and vomit on their enemies.  But it's counter-effective: Today, those most prone to violent projectile vomit develop drinking habits, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, and a weird love of Dr. Who. 

[Bloodwake]

Actually I usually get constipated when I'm stressed. Either that or have the runs.

[BlueTsunami]

Not sure if it applies but when I was younger, I used to be hit with bad bouts of shit cramps when I entered a Blockbuster

[Diunx]

I pee when I'm nervous, either you guys are freak or I'm the next stage of human evolution.

[muckhole]

When you shake the poop comes loose.

 

That got both me and the gf.

[Flannel Boy]

you turned your porch light off. 

[BlueTsunami]

Have had to take a shit but it wouldn't come out? Inhale and exhale, lower your heartbeat and your anus will relax and all the poop will come out. Its like a mental stool softener. I don't know why I posted this.

[Crushed]

Evolution.

Our ancestors, when threatened by vicious animals or neighboring tribes, became stressed. That stress served a defensive function, aiding their ability to fight or simply to run away. But that wasn't enough when faced with bigger, faster animals or larger, better organized tribes.

Luckily our ancestors evolved the ability to defecate as soon as they became stressed. This provided them with an important defensive advantage in combat, allowing them to use their own feces as a weapon by flinging it at their attackers. They could also use their feces to intimidate opponents by smearing it all over themselves. The pre-historic men who were unable to defecate on the spot were killed off and, consequently, unable to pass their non-pooping-stress genes on to us.

Some of our ancestors then evolved the ability to urinate as soon as they became stressed, giving, at least our male-ancestors, a long-range weapon they could aim at opponents. From that point, it wouldn't be long until the Earth belonged to Man.

Or it's the opposite, and we're terrified that a saber-toothed tiger is gonna eat us while we're pooping. And that's probably the most embarrassing death of all.

[muckhole]

you turned your porch light off. 

Nope, it's a clause in our dating rules. Porch light stays on for Malek.

[DJ_Tet]

Have had to take a shit but it wouldn't come out? Inhale and exhale, lower your heartbeat and your anus will relax and all the poop will come out. Its like a mental stool softener. I don't know why I posted this.

Also good advice if you find yourself in a prison shower or a bed with demi.

[Flannel Boy]

Have had to take a shit but it wouldn't come out? Inhale and exhale, lower your heartbeat and your anus will relax and all the poop will come out. Its like a mental stool softener. I don't know why I posted this.

Also good advice if you find yourself in a prison shower or a bed with demi.

Demi's all talk, no action. He wouldn't even know what to do if he had muckhole tied up naked and on all fours.