Author Topic: Dr. Bore - I shit my pants! (Read 3976 times)

BlackMage · « **on:** July 10, 2009, 07:13:10 PM »

So today while I was on the computer, deciding whether or not I should buy the monkey Island pack on steam, I felt this normal urge to fart. I had no stomach pains, or any sense that my bowels needed attending to. So I let it rip and thought nothing of it until like 5 seconds later, I felt a warmness in my pants. I thought maybe since I was sitting down the gas was still under me and needed escaping but when i went to stand I felt something mushy in my pants. That's when I thought to myself, "there's no way I just shit my pants because im fucking too cool for that." But i made a dash to the restroom and removed my pants and drawers and sure enough my pants and boxers contained the watery doo-doo known as diarhea.

My first reaction was to sit on the toilet just in case i was still leaking from my anus, but i failed to realize the mess had run down my legs and i got shit all over my toilet seat, and some had even dripped on my bathroom floor! I sat there for a minute or so anyway just in case then hopped in the shower to clean myself off. Afterwards i bundled up my pants and underwear and threw them in the trash. then put on a clean pair of clothes and took the trash to the dumpster outside, then came back in and cleaned my bathroom of all evidence.

Now I'm sitting here deciding what the fuck just went wrong. I know you guys will laugh at me, and it is kind of funny to me now that the whole mess is behind me (lol), but i'm kind of worried that this might be a symptom of something far worse than something I ate. I mean, i've never experience a shit where my stomach didn't at least warn me first! So bore, what should my next step be? I'm sitting here scared it might happen again!

Robo · « **Reply #1 on:** July 10, 2009, 07:15:20 PM »

demi · « **Reply #2 on:** July 10, 2009, 07:16:29 PM »

lol you pooped your pants

ManaByte · « **Reply #3 on:** July 10, 2009, 07:21:59 PM »

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

Crushed · « **Reply #4 on:** July 10, 2009, 07:41:28 PM »

nice cp

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #5 on:** July 10, 2009, 07:49:01 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on July 10, 2009, 07:13:10 PM

So bore, what should my next step be?

It Depends

ManaByte · « **Reply #6 on:** July 10, 2009, 07:49:31 PM »

Quote from: Mamacint on July 10, 2009, 07:49:01 PM

Quote from: BlackMage on July 10, 2009, 07:13:10 PM
So bore, what should my next step be?

It Depends

Sideshow Raheem · « **Reply #7 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:30:57 PM »

Your first and last step should involve learning that not everything is a topic for Internet discussion.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #8 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:35:31 PM »

I was the opposite today. I felt like i was going to shit myself all class and it turned out to just be gas. I think I got the better deal.

lennedsay · « **Reply #9 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:35:54 PM »

BlackMage · « **Reply #10 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:45:25 PM »

Quote from: Sideshow Rahib on July 10, 2009, 08:30:57 PM

Your first and last step should involve learning that not everything is a topic for Internet discussion.

I could be dying from shititus and you're scolding me! :'(

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #11 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:47:35 PM »

If you do die of shititus can i have all your belongings that you didn't get your shit on?

Bloodwake · « **Reply #12 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:48:59 PM »

Well, I would probably sit on the toilet the next time you fart.

BlackMage · « **Reply #13 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:49:34 PM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on July 10, 2009, 08:47:35 PM

If you do die of shititus can i have all your belongings that you didn't get your shit on?

does that include the stuff i've shit on in the past or just the current crop of shitted-on accessories?

lennedsay · « **Reply #14 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:51:24 PM »

I know a family of 5, and every one of them has shit and pissed their pants in public at least once, but usually multiple times.

The parents first date, the guy got arrested. The second date, he made her laugh so hard she peed her pants. I mean, it was meant to be.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #15 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:52:07 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on July 10, 2009, 08:49:34 PM

Quote from: Father_Mike on July 10, 2009, 08:47:35 PM
If you do die of shititus can i have all your belongings that you didn't get your shit on?

does that include the stuff i've shit on in the past or just the current crop of shitted-on accessories?

Did you clean them after you shit on them or are we talking about me getting a bunch of shit coated with old crusty shit?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can clone you with the dna in your crusty shit and then you and i can live together forever!

[close]

BlackMage · « **Reply #16 on:** July 10, 2009, 09:16:57 PM »

Quote from: lennedsay on July 10, 2009, 08:51:24 PM

I know a family of 5, and every one of them has shit and pissed their pants in public at least once, but usually multiple times.

The parents first date, the guy got arrested. The second date, he made her laugh so hard she peed her pants. I mean, it was meant to be.

well then you might know what my next question will be..

lennedsay · « **Reply #17 on:** July 10, 2009, 09:21:41 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on July 10, 2009, 09:16:57 PM

Quote from: lennedsay on July 10, 2009, 08:51:24 PM
I know a family of 5, and every one of them has shit and pissed their pants in public at least once, but usually multiple times.

The parents first date, the guy got arrested. The second date, he made her laugh so hard she peed her pants. I mean, it was meant to be.

well then you might know what my next question will be..

We don't have an emoticon for raising an eyebrow up, do we?

Sideshow Raheem · « **Reply #18 on:** July 10, 2009, 09:33:46 PM »

Quote from: BlackMage on July 10, 2009, 08:45:25 PM

Quote from: Sideshow Rahib on July 10, 2009, 08:30:57 PM
Your first and last step should involve learning that not everything is a topic for Internet discussion.

I could be dying from shititus and you're scolding me! :'(

I'm just trying to help a brother out. Don't be one of those guys who shares everything with total strangers.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #19 on:** July 10, 2009, 09:35:35 PM »

shititus

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #20 on:** July 10, 2009, 09:37:15 PM »

you could carry around an empty cup and just hold it up to your butthole every time you fart

you know, like a spittoon

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #21 on:** July 10, 2009, 09:42:34 PM »

huckleberry · « **Reply #22 on:** July 10, 2009, 10:19:56 PM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on July 10, 2009, 09:37:15 PM

you could carry around an empty cup and just hold it up to your butthole every time you fart

you know, like a spittoon

Think of the backsplash.

BlackMage · « **Reply #23 on:** July 10, 2009, 11:20:35 PM »

I'm eating Taco Bell for dinner. Nachos bell grande.. that new bacon beef potato burrito and a double decker taco. I'm not gonna let this change my life!

etiolate · « **Reply #24 on:** July 10, 2009, 11:54:50 PM »

SEXY TIME

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #25 on:** July 11, 2009, 01:07:27 AM »

Quote from: BlackMage on July 10, 2009, 11:20:35 PM

I'm eating Taco Bell for dinner. Nachos bell grande.. that new bacon beef potato burrito and a double decker taco.

Quote

Now I'm sitting here deciding what the fuck just went wrong.

hmm

Bocsius · « **Reply #26 on:** July 11, 2009, 01:45:39 AM »

Could be auto-immune.

Reb · « **Reply #27 on:** July 11, 2009, 05:07:27 AM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on July 10, 2009, 09:37:15 PM

you could carry around an empty cup and just hold it up to your butthole every time you fart

you know, like a spittoon

Eel for icon.

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #28 on:** July 11, 2009, 01:43:36 PM »

Oh...wow... I really don't know how to feel about this.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #29 on:** July 11, 2009, 01:45:51 PM »

Quote from: CrystalGemini on July 11, 2009, 01:43:36 PM

Oh...wow... I really don't know how to feel about this.

disgusted and aroused at the same time? I hear that's how all people into hardsports feel at the incubation stage of their fetish.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #30 on:** July 13, 2009, 02:32:57 AM »

Quote

"there's no way I just shit my pants because im fucking too cool for that."

Rman · « **Reply #31 on:** July 13, 2009, 04:16:41 AM »

Damn.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #32 on:** July 13, 2009, 10:27:51 AM »

Sounds like you had sex with Kosma.

tehjaybo · « **Reply #33 on:** July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM »

Apparently Shititus is transferrable over the Internet.

I seem to currently be suffering from a case myself. And by currently, I mean I have wireless internet, if you catch my drift.

I was at work, and felt that familliar rumbling for a nice big fart. Something, however, was about to go terribly wrong. I felt something else knocking at my backdoor and barely contained my internal drama... Now, I never thought much about it, but I must have a butthole of steel, because I contained this beast for the 7 minute drive home (public restrooms and I do NOT get along). It was like the little plastic seal on a medicine bottle that has to be opened before it's contents can be spilled.

I don't think I need to tell you how it ended.

On a completely related note, I will never drink the Mountain Dew game fuel stuff again. It is a blue/green color. Not something you want to see again.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #34 on:** July 13, 2009, 01:08:30 PM »

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM

I felt something else knocking at my backdoor and barely contained my internal drama.

It was bloodwake wasn't it?

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM

I don't think I need to tell you how it ended.

No you don't

Tauntaun · « **Reply #35 on:** July 13, 2009, 01:16:29 PM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on July 13, 2009, 01:08:30 PM

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM
I felt something else knocking at my backdoor and barely contained my internal drama.

It was bloodwake wasn't it?

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM
I don't think I need to tell you how it ended.

No you don't

Yeah we've got cameras in your house and car.

tehjaybo · « **Reply #36 on:** July 13, 2009, 02:07:15 PM »

Quote from: Tauntaun on July 13, 2009, 01:16:29 PM

Quote from: Father_Mike on July 13, 2009, 01:08:30 PM
Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM
I felt something else knocking at my backdoor and barely contained my internal drama.

It was bloodwake wasn't it?

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 12:53:47 PM
I don't think I need to tell you how it ended.

No you don't

Yeah i've got cameras in your house and car.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #37 on:** July 13, 2009, 02:52:38 PM »

Time to undress.

tehjaybo · « **Reply #38 on:** July 13, 2009, 02:56:34 PM »

Quote from: Tauntaun on July 13, 2009, 02:52:38 PM

Time to undress.

I have caught you in a LIE sir.

If you had cameras in my house, you'd know I browse The Bore naked.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #39 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:03:27 PM »

One time I was taking a shower and needed to fart, bad. Since I was already naked and cleaning myself I had none of the internal inhibitions that usually go along with flatulence - holding it calmly, then slowly letting the air out in separate puffs like you're smoking a good cigar. In short, I just let it loose. Didn't take long to realize something was wrong - I looked down and thought I saw dark stuff moving along my leg, but considering my dark complexion the visuals didn't alert me. It was the cold trickle down my thigh that did the trick.

I panicked as I was faced with the dilemma of whether to clean it off with my wash cloth or use my hands. Ultimately I decided white people know best, so I lathered up my hand with Axe body wash and cleaned myself, then inspected the shower floor to confirm no traces of the crime remained.

Your ass has a funny feeling after these things. I was paranoid of every slight bowel movement for the next few days

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #40 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:31:46 PM »

I wish whiteman were here to post in this tread.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #41 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:33:06 PM »

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 02:56:34 PM

Quote from: Tauntaun on July 13, 2009, 02:52:38 PM

Time to undress.

I have caught you in a LIE sir.

If you had cameras in my house, you'd know I browse The Bore naked.

I was talking about me.

tehjaybo · « **Reply #42 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:41:39 PM »

Quote from: Tauntaun on July 13, 2009, 03:33:06 PM

Quote from: tehjaybo on July 13, 2009, 02:56:34 PM
Quote from: Tauntaun on July 13, 2009, 02:52:38 PM

Time to undress.

I have caught you in a LIE sir.

If you had cameras in my house, you'd know I browse The Bore naked.

I was talking about me.

Oh lawdy.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #43 on:** July 13, 2009, 05:03:50 PM »

Every time I read this thread I...

spoiler (click to show/hide)

SHIT IN MY PANTS

[close]

demi · « **Reply #44 on:** July 13, 2009, 05:18:08 PM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov on July 13, 2009, 05:03:50 PM

Every time I read this thread I...

spoiler (click to show/hide)
SHIT IN MY PANTS
[close]

daddy horny

Tauntaun · « **Reply #45 on:** July 13, 2009, 05:28:04 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on July 13, 2009, 05:12:28 PM

What BM originally intended to do:

(Image removed from quote.)

He just got confused.

Propagandhim · « **Reply #46 on:** July 13, 2009, 06:07:31 PM »

Here's your survival guide, BlackMage.

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Rete/dont-shit-your-pants

Propagandhim · « **Reply #47 on:** July 13, 2009, 06:10:42 PM »

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #48 on:** July 13, 2009, 09:17:02 PM »

oh god, shititus just struck me about 15 minutes ago, what's happening

it was another race home...actually i didn't exactly crap my pants but

spoiler (click to show/hide)

i just managed to get my pants off over the toilet but before i could sit down i was forced into a mid-air shit

boy did that shithawk soar and sink it's shittalons into the back of my toilet seat

it must have been a 95% miss rate

[close]

BlackMage · « **Reply #49 on:** July 13, 2009, 09:18:26 PM »

that's what y'all get for cybering with me

lennedsay · « **Reply #50 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:48:24 AM »

Quote from: Propagandhim on July 13, 2009, 06:07:31 PM

Here's your survival guide, BlackMage.

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Rete/dont-shit-your-pants

All the exertion from breaking down the bathroom door made me shit my pants, but my pants were off already so I win!

This game is fantastic!

tehjaybo · « **Reply #51 on:** July 14, 2009, 01:07:58 AM »

drew · « **Reply #52 on:** July 14, 2009, 03:27:50 AM »

i once got so fucked up that whenever i puked i shit a little, and i didnt give a shit, pun intended

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #53 on:** July 14, 2009, 10:12:04 AM »

I pissed in my pants once, when i was a kid, on purpose. The bathroom was far as shit, it was lunch time and everyone was around so i couldn't piss on a tree. I didn't have a bottle at hand, so i said fuck it. Pissed myself.

News:

Author Topic: Dr. Bore - I shit my pants! (Read 3976 times)