Author Topic: My review of The Conduit (Read 6363 times)

demi · « **on:** July 14, 2009, 12:30:39 AM »

This is - no probablys about it - IS the worst Wii slash any game I have played. What did I say was the worst for 2009? Well forget it, it's this. This game is complete fucking dogshit. You can't control for shit, you can't aim for shit, you can't shoot for shit. I'm playing on "Elevated" which is the middle difficulty option and I am getting slaughtered in 3 shots. There is a bit at the end of the third(?) level, where you storm the lincoln memorial and aliens come NONSTOP with NO health around (you gain the regen ability in the next level). Majority of my deaths were caused because my waggle would not co-operate correctly and I couldn't move around, as turning takes AGES.

Enemies CONSTANTLY RESPAWN and WILL NOT STOP until you destroy the portals. Problem is there is usually WAY too many and you are overwhelmed by the bulletsponges to even get a chance to get to a portal. There are also eggsacs that respawn enemies, but are easier to handle. What's extremely fucking frustrating are these rolling red aliens that explode nearby and can take off half of your health in one go. There's also these "invisible" mines that you have to blow up with your stupid eyeball thing.

The gun selection sucks, the whole eyeball thing isn't really bad, it's rarely used (aside from the stupid mines), and I am currently on Level 5 of 9 (GOTTA SAVE THE PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!).

There's no point to try online as the game is hacked to shit so anyone can cheat the high heaven.

Deadly Creatures > The Conduit

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #1 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:34:02 AM »

Weren't people saying this was better than BioShock and Modern Warfare?

demi · « **Reply #2 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:35:45 AM »

Throwing grenades is a clusterfuck as well. You have to shake the nunchuk, easy enough - but by impulse, your wiimote hand will twitch to the side or somewhere, so you're suddenly staring at the ground and the grenade you just dropped.

Oops

Brehvolution · « **Reply #3 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:47:38 AM »

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #4 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:49:29 AM »

how is it hacked

i am genuinely curious

are they using the HDD loader and trainers and such

demi · « **Reply #5 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:53:34 AM »

The game, when taken apart (ISO, etc) has a config file you can edit directly to alter different things, access debug menus, etc.

http://gbatemp.net/index.php?showtopic=163513

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #6 on:** July 14, 2009, 12:59:59 AM »

wow, that HDD loader is pretty much going to wreck any online Wii game from now on, i guess

demi · « **Reply #7 on:** July 14, 2009, 01:01:45 AM »

It doesnt have to specifically be HDD, you can still load DVD-Rs with a backup loader

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #8 on:** July 14, 2009, 01:11:13 AM »

lol nintendo

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #9 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:11:09 AM »

I thought this was the Wii GOTY...oh wait, it's the only game there is this year.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #10 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:13:48 AM »

I'm glad I'm poor right now because I probably would have ended up buying this garbage on day one.

demi · « **Reply #11 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:17:53 AM »

EVERYTHING IS SO SHINY

demi · « **Reply #12 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:23:03 AM »

I looked it up because I knew he sounded familiar, but Kevin Sorbo is in this game

[youtube=560,345]zJFmFJ9p9Lw[/youtube]

demi · « **Reply #13 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:29:12 AM »

The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]

Shuri · « **Reply #14 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:40:13 AM »

wow, the graphics are not so bad for a wii game!..too bad the game sucks

demi · « **Reply #15 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:49:05 AM »

Quote from: Shuri on July 14, 2009, 02:40:13 AM

wow, the graphics are not so bad for a wii game!..too bad the game sucks

The YouTube does make it look good but... no, sorry. It is extremely ugly.

bork · « **Reply #16 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:51:16 AM »

Quote from: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:29:12 AM

The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]

Why are there so many videos like this?

cool breeze · « **Reply #17 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:52:57 AM »

yeah, the game is crap. I did enjoy the first couple of levels because it was bad in a good way (mid-90s fps game design, terrible story and dialogue); then it just became bad in that Resistance 2 kind of way, but even worse than that game. Multiplayer was pretty fun, though. I mean, if I didn't have a countless number of much better fps games I could get into, I would probably play it.

Quote from: Green Man on July 14, 2009, 02:33:10 AM

How can it control poorly? I thought the wii was all super realistic and had true FPS control. What happened?

to be fair, the default control scheme is nigh unplayable

people praise the game for having really customizable controls, but when you have to work to find something comfortable, that's just ridiculous. I had to spend more time than should have to get it working, and even then the controls weren't even the best fps controls on the Wii. And I kinda like fps controls on the wii.

Quote from: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:49:05 AM

Quote from: Shuri on July 14, 2009, 02:40:13 AM
wow, the graphics are not so bad for a wii game!..too bad the game sucks

The YouTube does make it look good but... no, sorry. It is extremely ugly.

its a mix of bland design and really hideous art

demi · « **Reply #18 on:** July 14, 2009, 02:57:53 AM »

Wow Borys, you're original

Bildi · « **Reply #19 on:** July 14, 2009, 03:44:12 AM »

Quote from: the lyte edge on July 14, 2009, 02:51:16 AM

Why are there so many videos like this?

I suppose because it's a game.

On the Wii.

Bildi · « **Reply #20 on:** July 14, 2009, 03:49:53 AM »

This is the first Wii game that has a MULTI-COLOUR DISK.

I can't believe you didn't mention that demi.

demi · « **Reply #21 on:** July 14, 2009, 03:51:30 AM »

Multi-colored SHIT

Bildi · « **Reply #22 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:28:36 AM »

I found a pic of the disc:

Conduit > Deadly Creatures.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #23 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:33:59 AM »

The Conduit is garbage. It's like High Voltage decided to recycle their awful N64 FPS, Armorines, and slap it with a new coat of paint to a Wii fanbase dying for content.

EmCeeGrammar · « **Reply #24 on:** July 14, 2009, 05:05:57 AM »

You chose THIS over Excitebots? What a fucking moron.

The controls aren't that bad really. It just needs a screen lock button like Metroid Prime 3. Reading your description makes it sound like you have horrid motor skills.

: oh 180º turn is awesomesauce. EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

The Sceneman · « **Reply #25 on:** July 14, 2009, 06:30:27 AM »

Quote from: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:29:12 AM

The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]

lol, "Condueet Condueett *bangs game against head* roughfrhfh"

demi · « **Reply #26 on:** July 14, 2009, 11:04:03 AM »

Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on July 14, 2009, 05:05:57 AM

You chose THIS over Excitebots? What a fucking moron.

The controls aren't that bad really. It just needs a screen lock button like Metroid Prime 3. Reading your description makes it sound like you have horrid motor skills.

: oh 180º turn is awesomesauce. EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

horrid motor skills. son, i beat every call of duty on veteran, and we know call of duty has a rep for respawning enemies. the conduit is garbage. don't address me on skills.

duckman2000 · « **Reply #27 on:** July 14, 2009, 11:51:58 AM »

Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on July 14, 2009, 05:05:57 AM

EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

Isn't this game selling pretty horribly so far? Can't see many future FPS on the system if this one tanks completely.

Then again, maybe one without aliens would do better.

archie4208 · « **Reply #28 on:** July 14, 2009, 11:57:54 AM »

Quote from: duckman2000 on July 14, 2009, 11:51:58 AM

Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on July 14, 2009, 05:05:57 AM
EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

Isn't this game selling pretty horribly so far? Can't see many future FPS on the system if this one tanks completely.

Then again, maybe one without aliens would do better.

It's in the top 20 at Amazon.com. Sales success confirmed. Now why isn't every FPS ever coming to the Wii with its superior controls?

cool breeze · « **Reply #29 on:** July 14, 2009, 01:43:11 PM »

Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on July 14, 2009, 05:05:57 AM

: oh 180º turn is awesomesauce. EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

I was playing Black again the other day and it wouldn't really make sense with Wii controls or even PC controls. Accuracy really doesn't matter. It's like Commando where you shoot in the general direction and that's enough.

but I agree that 180 turns are awesome. Dead Space would have been way better if they let you do a 180 spin.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #30 on:** July 14, 2009, 03:52:11 PM »

demi is, in all honesty, probably the best gamer on the forum in terms of all-around genre skills. Calling him out and saying that his motor skills are flawed, versus a crappy Wii control scheme is

-tastic

EmCeeGrammar · « **Reply #31 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:15:49 PM »

Quote from: Willco on July 14, 2009, 03:52:11 PM

demi is, in all honesty, probably the best gamer on the forum in terms of all-around genre skills. Calling him out and saying that his motor skills are flawed, versus a crappy Wii control scheme is -tastic

Well just based on my experience there's nothing so wrong with Wii FPS controls that its broken. What I see is alot of people decrying the graduated turning box method without taking time to get used to it. His grenade comment is just way off too. I had grenades on + and I had no trouble aiming it, so I'm just wondering why he can't keep his hand still. The only thing the game needs for sure is a viewpoint lock like other Wii fps. Occassionaly I'd like to line up a shot without adjusting my viewpoint. Instead they opt for some dumb soft lock-on bullshit.

CHOW CHOW · « **Reply #32 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:30:51 PM »

i kinda wanna copy/paste your review in the conduit gaf thread

demi · « **Reply #33 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:32:50 PM »

Quote from: a slime appears on July 14, 2009, 04:24:58 PM

Demi is an asshole because he wasn't wearing the Mario hat while playing The Conduit. Best gamer my FOOT.

Also, play Turok 2 next.

Someone is just GLAD I didn't buy BF1943... wouldn't want to put you at the bottom of the match leaderboards every time

Purple Filth · « **Reply #34 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:33:12 PM »

Quote from: CHOW CHOW on July 14, 2009, 04:30:51 PM

i kinda wanna copy/paste your review in the conduit gaf thread

doooo itttt

BobFromPikeCreek · « **Reply #35 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:34:46 PM »

Please tell me the special edition doesn't cost extra money.

demi · « **Reply #36 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:35:16 PM »

The special edition is the same price... all it has is some gay artbook and some "exxxxlusive codes" but those of course are available to anyone. And the cover is all shiny.

BobFromPikeCreek · « **Reply #37 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:36:38 PM »

Yeah that's why I asked. It looked pretty pathetic.

demi · « **Reply #38 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:36:54 PM »

Quote from: a slime appears on July 14, 2009, 04:36:19 PM

Quote from: demi on July 14, 2009, 04:32:50 PM
Quote from: a slime appears on July 14, 2009, 04:24:58 PM
Demi is an asshole because he wasn't wearing the Mario hat while playing The Conduit. Best gamer my FOOT.

Also, play Turok 2 next.

Someone is just GLAD I didn't buy BF1943... wouldn't want to put you at the bottom of the match leaderboards every time
If you would I could piggy back off your success! SELFISH JERK

CHOW CHOW · « **Reply #39 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:38:26 PM »

miss u

demi · « **Reply #40 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:39:55 PM »

If you had a 360 I would buy bf1943 and play. It is a shame you chose the WRONG SIDE

CHOW CHOW · « **Reply #41 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:49:08 PM »

i seriously have like nobody on my PSN friends list...just a few random stragglers that never go online nor want to play. i miss xfag live like you wouldn't believe

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #42 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:52:59 PM »

maybe you should just get a xbox then instead of doing your weird flip-flopping routine then?

demi · « **Reply #43 on:** July 14, 2009, 08:30:56 PM »

WOW

The 2nd to last level is HORRIBLE

Third · « **Reply #44 on:** July 14, 2009, 09:46:28 PM »

One of the worst games I've played this gen.

A total waste of bandwith. And the game looks like shit too. I don't get the "good graphics" part.

dammitmattt · « **Reply #45 on:** July 14, 2009, 10:10:21 PM »

Quote from: demi on July 14, 2009, 08:30:56 PM

WOW

The 2nd to last level is HORRIBLE

Yeah, that's when it went from mildly enjoyable shit to total shit.

demi · « **Reply #46 on:** July 15, 2009, 02:07:21 AM »

I finished it on "Elevated"

The last two levels are easily some of the worst designed I've ever played. COD4 Ferris Wheel has nothing on this. WOW. I am still in shock at how BAD the game is.

archie4208 · « **Reply #47 on:** July 15, 2009, 02:26:43 AM »

It's pretty sad that a homebrew port of Quake has better controls than this game.

cool breeze · « **Reply #48 on:** July 15, 2009, 02:57:17 AM »

Quote from: archie4208 on July 15, 2009, 02:26:43 AM

It's pretty sad that a homebrew port of Quake has better controls than this game.

Monkey War, a mini-game from the Super Monkey Ball Wii launch game, has better FPS controls than The Conduit. It has a lot of customization but none of it feels natural. Medal of Honor Heroes 2 or MP3 are still the best pointer fps controls.

Third · « **Reply #49 on:** July 15, 2009, 07:52:39 PM »

I'll never understand how demi can play and even finish shitty games.

I'd rather replay a mediocre to good game instead of wasting 30 minutes with this trash.

demi · « **Reply #50 on:** July 15, 2009, 07:54:54 PM »

Because I believe replaying games is a waste of time, when there is so much out there to be played.

Third · « **Reply #51 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:02:12 PM »

So you don't have a backlog?

I could never waste time on a shitty game like The Conduit (let alone finish it) since there are so many better released games out there.

But hey, it's not my problem that you like to finish shitty games that waste your time.

demi · « **Reply #52 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:09:13 PM »

Of course I have a backlog. Why would I replay games if I did?

Third · « **Reply #53 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:14:11 PM »

The impression I get from someone who finishes The Conduit is that he just doesn't have any other games to play, or is a Wii-only owner.

demi · « **Reply #54 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:17:42 PM »

Well it only took a day to beat, I've done worse for an achievement.

demi · « **Reply #55 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:50:30 PM »

WoW isn't really a game though...

demi · « **Reply #56 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:52:35 PM »

That's on PC... I dont really consider that a platform?

demi · « **Reply #57 on:** July 15, 2009, 09:01:57 PM »

FFXI isn't really a game... see WoW

demi · « **Reply #58 on:** July 15, 2009, 09:07:43 PM »

I've played those, Kosma. They're bad games.

Yeti · « **Reply #59 on:** July 15, 2009, 10:09:11 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on July 15, 2009, 09:09:01 PM

Yeah because consoles don't have a mouse.

Super Nintendo did.

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Author Topic: My review of The Conduit (Read 6363 times)