it doesn't even have good eye candy (the cg jeff bridges is the new spawn) or music (daft punk as brought to you by harry gregson-william's quaalude-addled apprentices). it is a shit movie. it starts out with mountain dew, throws us a red herring with the encom staff, goes into space capoeira scenes that could only appeal to the sentai fancrowd, tosses in some pod racing, a couple utterly predictable reveals and plot twists, a pixie-haired hollywood moeblob, some hammy tard doing his most mediocre impersonation of a neon-lit malcolm mcdowell, and ends with a poster shot and the adorapixie sniffing tony hawk's hair.
there is not a single moment unsullied by cliches and terrible acting, or by a camera shot that didn't scream "brought to you by l'oreal" or "zoom zoom." it is the most agonizingly predictable 2 hours i have ever spent in recent memory, without a single redeeming or engaging moment. even the art direction was sterile and unambitious. i enjoyed eagle eye more, because its byzantine and distinguished mentally-challenged plot TAUNTED me with its awfulness, which is still more engaging than what we got with this abortion. tvc ate a handful of seroquel and slept through most of the movie, which means he was the REAL winner of this escapade.
