I hate old people.

[The Fake Shemp]

I had an actual discussion with my uncle who is over 60-years-old and believes Obama was born in Kenya, is the worst President we've ever had and told me with a straight face that he believes "stuff I hear on the radio" (he was listening to Hannity) over "mainstream media".

He was deadly serious.

When I brought cold, hard facts - like newspapers reporting Obama's birth, he said, "I don't believe that."

[Phoenix Dark]

I've been dealing with a Realtor all week. She's one of my mom's friends, and is helping us get roommates for some properties my parents own. She's around 60 I'm guessing and easily one of the most annoying people I've ever met.

My mom invited her to dinner with the family last night where she proceeds to argue with my little brothers for 30min over fucking Harry Potter, campus curfews, and whether non-Christians can be good people. It got to a point where it was obvious my brothers were trolling her yet she kept biting, all while my parents were doing this embarrassed laugh and asking that the subject of discussion be changed 

Brother 1: If you haven't read Harry Potter how can you make any statements on it?
Her: Everything I need to know about it is in the bible! You're digesting witchcraft, cut it out and read the lord's word
Brother 2: But you aren't familiar with...
Her: Don't tell me what I'm not familiar with, I've been your age. I thought I knew everything but I didn't know anything at all. Realize that I love you and wish you'd come back to the lord

Her: ...that's why there's so many problems today. If only people would turn to Jesus
Brother 1: Well someone of a different faith could make that same argument, just from their perspective
Her: No, Jesus is lord
Brother 1: But if you're Muslim you believe the same -
Her: Oh no, it's not the same
Brother: But I mean the same as in having a deep faith, just believing in different things. And they think they're right just as you think you're right
Her: *laughs* Oh lord give me strength to deal with this nonsense

on and on and fucking on

[Bildi]

I hate old people that expect you to stop in the middle of the road because they can't be fucked to just walk a little faster.

[Van Cruncheon]

i don't even parse the elderly any more. all i hear is

old person: "eeh eeh eeh eeh eeh" <sound of adult diaper filling with shit>
me: mm hm.

[Bildi]

Jesus Prole. 

[demi]

Is that an ignorant mm hm or is that a voyuer mm hm. There is a difference.

[Phoenix Dark]

One day Prole will watch a home video of himself and realize that's exactly how he sounds. Complete with "dramatic exposition scene music" in the background

[Mandark]

My Jewish grandmother kvetched about Obama a lot during the election.


She thought his advisors were too hawkish.  grandma.

[Bildi]

Old people move too damn slowly and inevitably position themselves in such a way that it's impossible to pass them.  And yet if I push them out of the way, I'm the bad guy. 

You have to finish the job so they don't squeal.  Then nobody will know.

[Flannel Boy]

old people are old. thanks, willco!

A+ thread

Only thing I hate more than old people are Polacks.

oh
fine
great

are = is
"only thing" is singular.
 

[Flannel Boy]

I always loved you, Malek.  I would invite you to a gathering next time I'm in 'peg, but I'm a bit worried you'll cry in the punch.

If you read any of my threads, you'd know I'd never show up.

[Kestastrophe]

old people always seem entitled and the "greatest generation" is overrated

[Flannel Boy]

Yeah, I know.  It's too bad, you seem like an interesting guy. 

 

[Flannel Boy]

old people always seem entitled and the "greatest generation" is overrated

Generation Whine.

[Brehvolution]

The good thing about old crazy people is they won't be around for much longer.

[Flannel Boy]

The good thing about old crazy people is they won't be around for much longer.

They get replaced.

[Brehvolution]

But the racist/xenophobic attitude dies with them.

[Eel O'Brian]

what you describe isn't age, it's stupidity, sort of like the stupidity of assuming that age makes one racist and ignorant

my grandfather was 94 when he died, never harmed a soul, and was a better man than everyone in this thread put together

he had to put up with a bunch of worthless young fucks who think they know everything condescending to him all the time and talking shit about him behind his back, too

i, however, am not a good man at all, and in fact embrace this knowledge about myself from time to time

therefore, i hope all of your collective elder years are a terrible misery filled with outright mockery and abuse, tenfold what you yourselves display towards the elderly

[cool breeze]

in my experience, the only thing needed to deal with old people is a lot of patience.  It's not like I can blame them for aging and getting weaker.  I'm hoping that within the next 30 years someone manages to figure out a way to stay young forever.

[The Fake Shemp]

what you describe isn't age, it's stupidity, sort of like the stupidity of assuming that age makes one racist and ignorant

But being old does make you ignorant.  My uncle isn't racist, but like most old people, he's resistant to change.  Every older generation thinks the newer one is bringing society to ruin, grumble, grumble.

[Van Cruncheon]

Only thing I hate more than old people are Polacks.

real talk

[Eel O'Brian]

But being old does make you ignorant. 

does it, now

[tehjaybo]

There's always an exception.

[Eel O'Brian]

so you're generalizing old people while whining about how old people generalize

i honestly, sincerely, no trolling, can't wait to see some of you grow old

even though i will always be older than you, you will still be old, and you will still be as marginalized (if not more so) as older folks are today

and i will drink the stunned tears of your realization, and i will laugh, because you surely have it coming

[tehjaybo]

I hope I die before I get very old. 

And I'm not really saying anything about how old people generalize, I've just always had a weird irrational fear of old people.  That and I don't want to be helpless.

[The Fake Shemp]

so you're generalizing old people while whining about how old people generalize

i honestly, sincerely, no trolling, can't wait to see some of you grow old

even though i will always be older than you, you will still be old, and you will still be as marginalized (if not more so) as older folks are today

and i will drink the stunned tears of your realization, and i will laugh, because you surely have it coming

You'll be dead by then!

[Robo]

I hope I die before I get very old. 

  ...close enough.

[Barry Egan]

so you're generalizing old people while whining about how old people generalize

i honestly, sincerely, no trolling, can't wait to see some of you grow old

even though i will always be older than you, you will still be old, and you will still be as marginalized (if not more so) as older folks are today

and i will drink the stunned tears of your realization, and i will laugh, because you surely have it coming

haha, what the hell is this crazy old coot trying to say?  It all just reads like incomprehensible gibberish!

[The Fake Shemp]

haha, what the hell is this crazy old coot trying to say?  It all just reads like incomprehensible gibberish!

I put it through my old people translator:

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

[Don Flamenco]

huge generation gap is huuuuuuge


what'll happen when we're old?   
"grandpa, the cyber pirates are invading my holo-interface!"
"Have you cleared your cookies?  Let me see your hijackthis log"
"grandpa, why do you have to be so fucking old"

[The Fake Shemp]

They were probably having sex too then

[Tauntaun]

know for a fact that they were

[Barry Egan]

know for a fact that they were

...through the fact of his own existence! duh!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I hope this is what he meant 

[close]

[Tauntaun]

know for a fact that they were

...through the fact of his own existence! duh!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I hope this is what he meant 

[close]

I don't think that's what he meant.   

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]