Author Topic: DEREK SMART'S All-Aspect Warfare demo (Read 4232 times)

Crushed · « **on:** August 03, 2009, 06:58:02 PM »

http://store.steampowered.com/app/36920/

i just shot derek smart himself in the back of the head and ran him over in a game that looks worse than tribes 2 and runs at about 5 frames per second with terrible controls

derek himself is one of the five people actually playing the game

i asked him which button let you attack coke machines and he kicked me and the game crashed

Crushed · « **Reply #1 on:** August 03, 2009, 07:04:52 PM »

Quote from: Derek Smart's PROTIPS

Add /use_godmode to the shortcut and you won’t die in single player.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #2 on:** August 03, 2009, 07:06:17 PM »

derek smart, add/use_godmode, obvious ego joke, etc

cool breeze · « **Reply #3 on:** August 03, 2009, 07:34:44 PM »

Cybermorph on the Jaguar had better controls and visuals than this. That was seriously one of the worst games I've ever played.

and I find it hilarious that it still looks like a 32x game no matter how you change the graphical settings. Increasing them just makes the performance worse.

Crushed · « **Reply #4 on:** August 03, 2009, 07:39:44 PM »

Quote from: swaggaz on August 03, 2009, 07:34:44 PM

Cybermorph on the Jaguar had better controls and visuals than this. That was seriously one of the worst games I've ever played.

and I find it hilarious that it still looks like a 32x game no matter how you change the graphical settings. Increasing them just makes the performance worse.

derek smart responds:

Quote

Wrong again. The game is highly optimized and does in fact take
advantage of multiple cores. We had a 10K+ test through IGN and the
public – not one person complained about the performance. Not one. In
fact, those threads are still available on our website for all to see.

And there is no such thing as “running at medium”. This is not Crysis
where you press a button and it does the settings for you. You have to
tweak each individual setting to suit your purposes. On my quad core
righ, I can run at 1920×1080 (in fact most of the screens are taken at
this res) with everything on Ultra or High and experience nary a
stutter.

he also says that the terrible physics and controls are designed that way, so they aren't bugs, and that their bug tracker never picked up a bug, so there are NO crashes

demi · « **Reply #5 on:** August 03, 2009, 07:40:34 PM »

This requires Steam to play, can I just see some youtube vids instead.

BobFromPikeCreek · « **Reply #6 on:** August 03, 2009, 09:30:05 PM »

Oh Derek.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #7 on:** August 03, 2009, 10:14:57 PM »

DEREK SMART DEREK SMART DEREK SMART

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #8 on:** August 04, 2009, 11:38:01 AM »

LOL, I saw this on SA

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #9 on:** August 04, 2009, 11:56:11 AM »

It looks really, incredibly barren.

Crushed · « **Reply #10 on:** August 04, 2009, 12:16:41 PM »

some incredible screenshots from my time with this THINKING MAN'S GAME

notes:
-it tries to install directx when you play it
-the in-game manual is a bunch of scanned pages
-you press ctrl+e to leave your vehicle
-you also press ctrl+e to suicide
-there's no character limit for your name, someone joined with ten thousand question marks and it crashed
-no mouselook in third-person mode, only arrow keys for camera
-to turn on your plane, you have to press the f key, then to turn on mouse steering you have to press y.
-you hold down enter to shoot
-the shift key literally causes your plane to nosedive into the ground and either explode or sink into the earth like it's stuck in quicksand

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #11 on:** August 04, 2009, 12:21:56 PM »

Sho Nuff · « **Reply #12 on:** August 04, 2009, 12:57:10 PM »

Derek Smart is such a genius that he programs bug-free...that's right, he doesn't even need to have them tested

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #13 on:** August 04, 2009, 01:11:41 PM »

What's up with the $40 price on this? I tried out the demo, joining the server with the most people (1 lol) and I didn't even see the other player. I hopped in the back seat of a vehicle only to find myself unable to get out (i didn't see crushed's command list up there)

ManaByte · « **Reply #14 on:** August 04, 2009, 01:41:26 PM »

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #15 on:** August 04, 2009, 02:16:50 PM »

DEREK SMART
DEREK SMART
DEREK SMART

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #16 on:** August 04, 2009, 03:17:57 PM »

Quote from: Crushed on August 04, 2009, 12:16:41 PM

notes:
-it tries to install directx when you play it
-the in-game manual is a bunch of scanned pages
-you press ctrl+e to leave your vehicle
-you also press ctrl+e to suicide
-there's no character limit for your name, someone joined with ten thousand question marks and it crashed
-no mouselook in third-person mode, only arrow keys for camera
-to turn on your plane, you have to press the f key, then to turn on mouse steering you have to press y.
-you hold down enter to shoot
-the shift key literally causes your plane to nosedive into the ground and either explode or sink into the earth like it's stuck in quicksand

All intentionally designed elements for HARDCORE gamers. Derek Smart isn't going to hold your hand through the character naming process, and not let you create a name that's so long it's crashes the game. This isn't Xbox Live. Quit bringing your weaksauce console gaming to Derek Smart's table, Crushed.

Crushed · « **Reply #17 on:** August 04, 2009, 08:12:19 PM »

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=676

look at the top two stickied threads

originalz · « **Reply #18 on:** August 05, 2009, 12:31:55 PM »

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?s=dfaabe38ee355666ef53ea5cebd0b368&t=931576

This thread is amazing. I love Smart's comebacks.

ManaByte · « **Reply #19 on:** August 05, 2009, 02:11:53 PM »

Has anyone made a character named CokeMachine yet?

Or TakeTwo?

muckhole · « **Reply #20 on:** August 05, 2009, 06:56:23 PM »

I've read up a bit on the guy, but can someone enlighten me regarding the whole "Coke" thing?

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #21 on:** August 05, 2009, 07:11:21 PM »

http://archive.gamespy.com/articles/june03/dumbestmoments/readers/index2.shtml

muckhole · « **Reply #22 on:** August 05, 2009, 07:26:04 PM »

Ah, thanks Eel.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #23 on:** August 05, 2009, 07:30:44 PM »

no prob, he's a fascinating character

i love watching people who lack self-awareness interact with others

muckhole · « **Reply #24 on:** August 05, 2009, 07:36:40 PM »

You should interview him for the Borecast!

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #25 on:** August 05, 2009, 09:09:53 PM »

Quote

It didn't even affect Smart that much. He's doing fine professionally, with a nice contract from Dreamcatcher in his pocket, and the imminent release of two games that might finally make good on the promises he made all those years ago. Everyone has a different road to success. Smart's is just a lot more entertaining than most.

what in the fuck?? this piece of shit in the OP is funded by Dreamcatcher?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #26 on:** August 05, 2009, 10:08:16 PM »

Quote from: Kranz Fafka on August 05, 2009, 09:09:53 PM

Quote
It didn't even affect Smart that much. He's doing fine professionally, with a nice contract from Dreamcatcher in his pocket, and the imminent release of two games that might finally make good on the promises he made all those years ago. Everyone has a different road to success. Smart's is just a lot more entertaining than most.

what in the fuck?? this piece of shit in the OP is funded by Dreamcatcher?

That article's pretty old, so it could have been referring to Battlecruiser Millennium and Universal Combat.

Trent Dole · « **Reply #27 on:** August 05, 2009, 11:58:43 PM »

Sho Nuff · « **Reply #28 on:** August 06, 2009, 01:32:32 AM »

Quote from: Trent Dole on August 05, 2009, 11:58:43 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #29 on:** August 06, 2009, 01:34:59 AM »

on a side note, is "leasekey" engrish for "whiskey"?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #30 on:** August 06, 2009, 01:51:45 AM »

Quote from: Kranz Fafka on August 06, 2009, 01:34:59 AM

on a side note, is "leasekey" engrish for "whiskey"?

It's like boo.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Do! Baseball

[close]

ManaByte · « **Reply #31 on:** August 06, 2009, 05:44:29 AM »

Quote from: Trent Dole on August 05, 2009, 11:58:43 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

That is the greatest thing on the Internet.

M3wThr33 · « **Reply #32 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:10:44 PM »

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showpost.php?p=10790644&postcount=4

Quote

As far as we are aware, there are zero crashes in the game.

Sending the DXDIAG isn't going to help if I don't know what caused the crash.

So can you tell me how this happened?

Also, why are you running Vista SP1 and not SP2?

bork · « **Reply #33 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:19:16 PM »

Can someone shed some light on this coke machine story?

demi · « **Reply #34 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:19:50 PM »

FUCKING READ THE THREAD ASSWIPE

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #35 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:23:03 PM »

It's hilarious how everyone has to have ever single aspect of their computer up-to-date and top-of-the-line just to get this game to START.

demi · « **Reply #36 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:23:32 PM »

That's PC gaming in a nutshell

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #37 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:26:33 PM »

Quote from: demi on August 06, 2009, 07:23:32 PM

That's PC gaming in a nutshell

Not really. My computer is a mid-range from a year and half ago and I still have Vista SP1 and I haven't had any problems running most new/recent games just fine.

demi · « **Reply #38 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:27:34 PM »

Uh huh, sure guy.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #39 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:30:23 PM »

Quote from: demi on August 06, 2009, 07:27:34 PM

Uh huh, sure guy.

Just got through playing some Drakensang a few minutes ago.

demi · « **Reply #40 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:32:32 PM »

Nobody cares, tweeny

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #41 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:35:28 PM »

Quote from: demi on August 06, 2009, 07:32:32 PM

Nobody cares, tweeny

Your razor-sharp wit always cuts to the bone, demi.

bork · « **Reply #42 on:** August 06, 2009, 07:37:05 PM »

Quote from: demi on August 06, 2009, 07:19:50 PM

FUCKING READ THE THREAD ASSWIPE

I DIDN'T SEE NUTHIN' AN' USED GOOGLE INSTEAD, FUCKFACE :'(

originalz · « **Reply #43 on:** August 06, 2009, 11:32:58 PM »

I think that if Smart's ego wasn't so huge and teamed up with a good dev studio, he could come out with a pretty good game. He always has these insane ideas about huge and epic scifi games, but it's simply too much work for one man and whatever help he allows. The guy definitely has talent, and what he produces is really impressive considering how much of it is his own. It's just that he won't let anyone else touch his work, so they end up being too buggy and confusing to play.

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Author Topic: DEREK SMART'S All-Aspect Warfare demo (Read 4232 times)