Author Topic: The thread of GI Joe: Rise of Cobra is better than both Transformers movies (Read 4486 times)

ManaByte · « **on:** August 05, 2009, 03:14:35 PM »

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/

Wow. Michael Bay behind pre-release FUD confirmed?

Stephen Sommers made a better action movie than Michael "AWESOME" Bay?

Solo · « **Reply #1 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:15:32 PM »

GIJoe wins simply for having Mr Eko.

drew · « **Reply #2 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:17:06 PM »

ManaByte · « **Reply #3 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:18:51 PM »

Quote from: mojovonio on August 05, 2009, 03:18:03 PM

Quote from: Solo on August 05, 2009, 03:15:32 PM
GIJoe wins simply for having Mr Eko.

Who does Mr. Ecko play?

Heavy Duty? I think.

drew · « **Reply #4 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:21:03 PM »

will download the blu ray rip and b b bust all over it

ManaByte · « **Reply #5 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:23:17 PM »

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

Bebpo · « **Reply #6 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:31:01 PM »

you do realize there are ZERO reviews from legit critics, right? And that even movies like Transformers were at 80/90% before the actual critics voiced their opinions.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #7 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:31:38 PM »

Quote from: Bebpo on August 05, 2009, 03:31:01 PM

you do realize there are ZERO reviews from legit critics, right? And that even movies like Transformers were at 80/90% before the actual critics voiced their opinions.

Yeah, the score will start dropping as soon as more credible reviews start coming in.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #8 on:** August 05, 2009, 03:47:42 PM »

Didn't you see Star Trek?

tehjaybo · « **Reply #9 on:** August 05, 2009, 04:17:53 PM »

This has Christopher Eccleston, I will be there day one.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #10 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:27:44 PM »

G.I. Joe is gay, give me District 9!

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #11 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:30:53 PM »

Ponyo and District 9.

demi · « **Reply #12 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:34:44 PM »

Quote from: a slime appears on August 05, 2009, 03:48:21 PM

Double PASS

Company's summer movie blitz took care of all the decent movies anyways.

STFU... you will see it one way or another

drew · « **Reply #13 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:37:36 PM »

who passes on a movie that they have even just have a passing interest in especially in the late two thousand and's when you can download a perfect copy in a matter of hours

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #14 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:42:43 PM »

Quote from: distantmantra on August 05, 2009, 05:30:53 PM

Ponyo and District 9.

This.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #15 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:43:28 PM »

Quote from: distantmantra on August 05, 2009, 05:30:53 PM

Ponyo and District 9.

Forgot that was coming out.

animu

demi · « **Reply #16 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:54:35 PM »

GI Joe > Up

demi · « **Reply #17 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:56:17 PM »

Bruno > GI Joe

drew · « **Reply #18 on:** August 05, 2009, 06:28:23 PM »

kid rock approves of this thread

demi · « **Reply #19 on:** August 05, 2009, 06:30:31 PM »

Mr. Eko > Kid Rock

pilonv1 · « **Reply #20 on:** August 06, 2009, 09:16:55 PM »

anything is better than both transformers movies

bork · « **Reply #21 on:** August 07, 2009, 12:14:01 AM »

I am seeing this sure-to-be-summer-blockbuster-and-amazing-action-masterpiece tomorrow. To top Bayformers 2, it will need:

-More titties (and there's at least two sets with The Baroness and Scarlett, so check!)
-Dumb Explosions (the trailer had plenty, check!)
-Some out-of-place comedian, preferably black, spouting off cheesy lines (Marlon Wayans, check!)
-Awful late 90s/early 2000s song(s) from washed-up singer/group (Kid Rock, check!)
-30 minutes of slow-motion running in the desert with shit blowing up, but nothing really happening

That's four out of five requirements met thus far!

MCD · « **Reply #22 on:** August 07, 2009, 12:47:16 AM »

saw it today, very poor acting, cool ninjas.

that's it.

Yeti · « **Reply #23 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:56:01 AM »

movie was ass, and this is coming from someone who (ashamedly) liked the first transformers movie.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #24 on:** August 07, 2009, 02:30:39 PM »

Shit movie, Paris chase sequence was cool.

Better than Transformers 2

ManaByte · « **Reply #25 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:20:50 PM »

Still better than Transformers 2.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #26 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:26:58 PM »

Are you gonna see District 9, cohen?

Reb · « **Reply #27 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:32:36 PM »

That why I prefer watching movies in Holland in stead of in England, the beer is a nice addition.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #28 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:39:20 PM »

Saw the movie in Russian, which probably made it less shit. So take that into account too.

Reb · « **Reply #29 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:40:21 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on August 07, 2009, 03:34:47 PM

Holland>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Poland>GI Joe

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #30 on:** August 07, 2009, 03:57:05 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on August 07, 2009, 03:29:49 PM

Eventually. I hate most movie theatres with an unbridled passion. Lines, over air-conditioned, bad movies no liquor etc. The whole experience is very depressing and if i can avoid it i do. There was place back home that had a bar and you could get beers to bring in to the movie and actual food. Nothing like that around here. :'(

There are a few places that I'm familiar with in Florida and I think one in Nashville where there are basically tables with chairs and waiters that come and serve alcohol to you whilst watching a new movie.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #31 on:** August 07, 2009, 04:03:29 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on August 07, 2009, 03:29:49 PM

bad movies no liquor etc.

Welcome to The Big Picture in Seattle:

And Cinnebarre just North of Seattle:

No pictures of the inside, but it's 21+ with food and alcohol available.

I'm going to Big Picture tonight with my wife and my parents to see Funny People for my birthday before dinner at Bizzaro.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #32 on:** August 07, 2009, 04:06:16 PM »

wow

how much is it?

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #33 on:** August 07, 2009, 04:06:49 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on August 07, 2009, 04:05:11 PM

Is the sign on the second one photoshopped in?

Yeah, that theater used to be owned by Regal, they probably just photoshopped it in and threw it up on their website.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #34 on:** August 07, 2009, 04:08:04 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on August 07, 2009, 04:06:16 PM

wow

how much is it?

Cinebarre is $8 matinee and $10 for evening showings.

Big Picture is $7 before 4:30pm and all other showings are $11.

Rman · « **Reply #35 on:** August 07, 2009, 04:18:23 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on August 07, 2009, 03:59:33 PM

I also forgot to mention no screaming children! It's the best. Beer, movies, adults, quiet etc.

Jesus, screaming children really makes my blood boil. Not because I hate kids or anything, but because the distinguished mentally-challenged parents who just stay in the movie theatre instead of taking the brat outside.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #36 on:** August 07, 2009, 04:27:41 PM »

There's also a Big Picture in Redmond, but it's on the East side, so who cares?

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #37 on:** August 07, 2009, 05:29:05 PM »

God this movie was horrible. Whoever played Duke, god what the fuck acting was that? At least Scarlett and Baroness were pretty fucking hot.

The Sceneman · « **Reply #38 on:** August 07, 2009, 05:50:05 PM »

Quote from: ManaByte on August 05, 2009, 03:23:17 PM

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

Cobra are too futuristic to really be considered a serious threat these days

drew · « **Reply #39 on:** August 07, 2009, 05:53:16 PM »

do they have coke stalls in the bathroom too?

Diunx · « **Reply #40 on:** August 07, 2009, 05:56:05 PM »

Transformers must be an epic turd if this pos is better.

Yeti · « **Reply #41 on:** August 07, 2009, 06:25:26 PM »

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Scarlett was hot until she fell in love with a Wayans.

Come to think of it I lost my chubby for the Baroness when her feelings for Duke made her turn into a good guy.

[close]

I guess I should spoiler this, but honestly, this movie isn't worth giving a shit about spoilers.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #42 on:** August 07, 2009, 06:34:18 PM »

lol at TOTAL Manabyte thread fail

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #43 on:** August 07, 2009, 06:40:21 PM »

So there's no Lady Jaye in the movie, just Scarlett?

bork · « **Reply #44 on:** August 08, 2009, 06:34:30 AM »

Saw it last night, random thoughts below. The theater was jam-packed, much to my surprise. It was better than Bayformers 2, but still completely cheesy and overall laughably stupid. It did have its moments, and if they were attempting to go the live-action cartoon route like Speed Racer did, they sorta, kinda came a little close to that.

I'll spoil-tag this stuff just incase bitches get all uppity n' shit.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

-What was the point in wasting a couple of minutes (and budget, lol) on the opening scene with Destro's ancestor?
-Why does Snake-Eyes' mask have lips?
-Why can't they ever get Japanese actors to play Japanese characters?

-I kept thinking that the young Storm Shadow in the flashback scenes was an evil version of Ernie Reyes, Jr.

-Most of the CG-heavy shots were completely unbelievable. As in, I couldn't fucking believe they thought that shit looked anywhere close enough to realistic to put into the movie. Especially the scene with the futuristic G.I. Joe plane flying to the Pit.
-What was the point in making fucking G.I. Joe, THE REAL *AMERICAN HERO*, an international team?
-Ditto on making the *BARONESS* American.
-Cobra Commander. Who thought he was Dr. Mindbender up until the end?
-Cobra Commander's mask at the end. They did a good job on it, if they wanted it to look like an eight year old's Halloween costume, I guess. Somebody couldn't have grabbed a blue pillowcase and cut two holes out or something?
-Did they really have to make it so that Duke, Wayans Brother #343, the Baroness, and Cobra Commander were all connected? The two ninjas wasn't enough?
-I thought it was funny how they had no problem with random grunts getting gruesomely killed (although with all the gore hidden!), but somehow, EVERY major character, good and bad, lived on. (You know Storm Shadow's not dead)
-We were laughing about how Transformers 2 has the regular military kicking all kinds of ass with their weapons, yet in G.I. Joe, they get owned badly by Cobra. Even the futuristic stuff like the invisible clothing, which they spent time building up, was completely useless.

-LOTS of bad acting going on, but some of the wacky-ass scenes saved the movie. Especially the chase scene with those two hi-tech suits. That was hilarious.

[close]

Finally, what was up with Brenden Frasier popping up in one scene, and just standing around doing nothing for two minutes?

I guess they must have cut a bunch of stuff out.

Manabyte, there's no Lady Jaye, unless she was supposed to be one of the random characters in the background.

chronovore · « **Reply #45 on:** August 08, 2009, 07:21:34 AM »

It's down to 39%. Japanese theaters sell beer. I think that will help when I see this.

ManaByte · « **Reply #46 on:** August 08, 2009, 08:59:27 AM »

I never mentioned Lady Jaye.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #47 on:** August 08, 2009, 09:52:28 AM »

I hate Cobras mask. Why does everything have to be all aerodynamic? What's wrong with sharp defined lines? The original was just, like, a plate but the redesign should have been better than that. Hopefully in whatever sequels they plan they put the cowl on him.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #48 on:** August 08, 2009, 01:26:46 PM »

Quote from: the lyte edge on August 08, 2009, 06:34:30 AM

Manabyte, there's no Lady Jaye, unless she was supposed to be one of the random characters in the background.

I'm NOT manabyte.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #49 on:** August 08, 2009, 02:24:36 PM »

smh @ hollywood fucking with my 80s childhood memories

What's next, Smurfs starring Seth Rogen

Yeti · « **Reply #50 on:** August 08, 2009, 02:28:27 PM »

Speaking of bad CG, the polar bear.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #51 on:** August 08, 2009, 03:05:21 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 08, 2009, 02:24:36 PM

smh @ hollywood fucking with my 80s childhood memories

What's next, Smurfs starring Seth Rogen

Would see.

bork · « **Reply #52 on:** August 08, 2009, 03:36:29 PM »

Quote from: distantmantra on August 08, 2009, 01:26:46 PM

Quote from: the lyte edge on August 08, 2009, 06:34:30 AM
Manabyte, there's no Lady Jaye, unless she was supposed to be one of the random characters in the background.

I'm NOT manabyte.

Sorry, I posted that pretty late at night. It's those avatar colors.

Jabberwocky · « **Reply #53 on:** August 08, 2009, 06:11:46 PM »

Acting was iffy, plot was shit. Action scenes were amazing.

Scarlett

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #54 on:** August 08, 2009, 06:22:17 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 08, 2009, 02:24:36 PM

smh @ hollywood fucking with my 80s childhood memories

What's next, Smurfs starring Seth Rogen

There is a live action Smurfs on it's way. The rules of probability mean that Seth Rogan will most likely be in it.

cool breeze · « **Reply #55 on:** August 09, 2009, 01:45:04 AM »

this movie was pretty bad, I'd say it's on par with Transformers 2.

pro:
-Storm Shadow was kinda cool and was the only character with some charisma
-it had Doctor Who in the cast, uh, the character sucked, though.
-it seems to be a movie, something Transformers 2 failed
-hilariously bad CG for this type of movie

other than that, there was a lot of bad shit going on, but it was mostly just boring. Everyone was just so dull that it was hard to muster enough energy to pay attention. The CG was really funny, though. All the CG effects looked like they weren't finished, yet they still made it into the final product.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #56 on:** August 09, 2009, 01:52:38 AM »

Quote from: Mamacint on August 08, 2009, 06:22:17 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 08, 2009, 02:24:36 PM
smh @ hollywood fucking with my 80s childhood memories

What's next, Smurfs starring Seth Rogen

There is a live action Smurfs on it's way. The rules of probability mean that Seth Rogan will most likely be in it.

Seth Rogen had already done voices for Monsters vs. Aliens, Shrek the Third, Kung Fu Panda, The Spidewick Chronicles, and Horton Hears a Who.

I'd be SHOCKED if he didn't do a voice for the live-action Smurfs movie.

bork · « **Reply #57 on:** August 10, 2009, 01:07:46 AM »

Quote from: swaggaz on August 09, 2009, 01:45:04 AM

this movie was pretty bad, I'd say it's on par with Transformers 2.

pro:
-Storm Shadow was kinda cool and was the only character with some charisma
-it had Doctor Who in the cast, uh, the character sucked, though.
-it seems to be a movie, something Transformers 2 failed
-hilariously bad CG for this type of movie

other than that, there was a lot of bad shit going on, but it was mostly just boring. Everyone was just so dull that it was hard to muster enough energy to pay attention. The CG was really funny, though. All the CG effects looked like they weren't finished, yet they still made it into the final product.

I'd say the CG was just amateurish and not unfinished...look back to X-Men Origins: Wolverine if you want that.

Like you said, this felt like a MOVIE, so for that alone it's better than TF2. I was reading the latest Entertainment Weekly today, and there's a quote from Megan Fox on TF2 that went something like "I read the script before shooting, I was in the movie, and I watched the movie when it was done, and I still have no idea what was going on."

ManaByte · « **Reply #58 on:** August 11, 2009, 05:28:17 PM »

Brendan Frasier was Sgt. Slaughter.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

And WTF was with them killing off Cover Girl?

[close]

Tauntaun · « **Reply #59 on:** August 11, 2009, 05:34:15 PM »

Quote from: ManaByte on August 11, 2009, 05:28:17 PM

Brendan Frasier was Sgt. Slaughter.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
And WTF was with them killing off Cover Girl?
[close]

Really? REALLLY?!??!

News:

Author Topic: The thread of GI Joe: Rise of Cobra is better than both Transformers movies (Read 4486 times)