SO HOW'S EVERYONES MARRIAGE GOING? and other overly personal questions thread

[ToxicAdam]

Marriage is only for the fat, ugly or those afraid of being alone.

If you don't want kids, get a vasectomy right now. Don't even fuck around and think you will find a woman that doesn't want kids. They all fall victim to their hormones.

[chronovore]

Marriage is only for the fat, ugly or those afraid of being alone.

If you don't want kids, get a vasectomy right now. Don't even fuck around and think you will find a woman that doesn't want kids. They all fall victim to their hormones.

I am the trifecta!

[Van Cruncheon]

Marriage is only for the fat, ugly or those afraid of being alone.

If you don't want kids, get a vasectomy right now. Don't even fuck around and think you will find a woman that doesn't want kids. They all fall victim to their hormones.

any more relationship tips, roissy?

[drew]

marriage and especially kids are the greatest things in the world, its the point of life, better than any drug in the world

i was told this by someone i trust and respect, so trust me when i say youre naive and youll understand when youre 30

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

My question earlier on the thread was serious: I don't get why people get married today.

Although this could be because a few of my friends have already divorced or are in the process of divorce, despite being around 25 years old.

[tiesto]

It's weird, all my college friends from upstate are already married or engaged... and over here, only 2 of my friends are married, the more republican ones too. I'm hoping to one day get married, as soon as the right woman comes along...

I think Roissy goes way over the top with his anti-marriage rants, but the one thing that he talks about that DOES scare me about marriage is divorce (which women statistically initiate more than men) and losing half of your assets, custody of kids, etc.

[Bildi]

marriage and especially kids are the greatest things in the world, its the point of life

It's the point of their life.

[drew]

It's the point of all life.

fixed

[muckhole]

I just shared an intimate moment with demi. 

[demi]

It was like a PBS version of intimacy...

[muckhole]

 

 

[Bildi]

It's the point of all life.

fixed

You are perpetuating a gross inaccuracy.

[Cormacaroni]

It's weird, all my college friends from upstate are already married or engaged... and over here, only 2 of my friends are married, the more republican ones too. I'm hoping to one day get married, as soon as the right woman comes along...

I think Roissy goes way over the top with his anti-marriage rants, but the one thing that he talks about that DOES scare me about marriage is divorce (which women statistically initiate more than men) and losing half of your assets, custody of kids, etc.

Here's the thing about divorces and money: when you get married, you ALREADY give up half your assets. How many married men do you know who still spend all the money on the frivolous shit they used to when they were single? It goes on car payments, the mortgage, school fees, clothes for everybody etc etc. What changes when you get divorced? The only real downside is that you may have to move out, meaning that you have to pay your own rent in addition to the portion that goes to the wife. But it's not like everything you own is suddenly chopped in half...that happens as soon as you sign the marriage register. (or well before, if you're in a committed relationship).

So in short: divorce isn't as scary an option financially as you might think. Sure, you're fucked. But you're largely fucked already once you have all those commitments. And if you remarry, or she remarries...everything changes again.

[Barry Egan]

It's weird, all my college friends from upstate are already married or engaged... and over here, only 2 of my friends are married, the more republican ones too. I'm hoping to one day get married, as soon as the right woman comes along...

I think Roissy goes way over the top with his anti-marriage rants, but the one thing that he talks about that DOES scare me about marriage is divorce (which women statistically initiate more than men) and losing half of your assets, custody of kids, etc.

Here's the thing about divorces and money: when you get married, you ALREADY give up half your assets. How many married men do you know who still spend all the money on the frivolous shit they used to when they were single? It goes on car payments, the mortgage, school fees, clothes for everybody etc etc. What changes when you get divorced? The only real downside is that you may have to move out, meaning that you have to pay your own rent in addition to the portion that goes to the wife. But it's not like everything you own is suddenly chopped in half...that happens as soon as you sign the marriage register. (or well before, if you're in a committed relationship).

So in short: divorce isn't as scary an option financially as you might think. Sure, you're fucked. But you're largely fucked already once you have all those commitments. And if you remarry, or she remarries...everything changes again.

how often do you think about divorcing your wife?  What do you think the odds are that you actually will get divorced? 

[Cormacaroni]

good god Chipopo are you trying to psychoanalyze me

[Barry Egan]

no! read the thread title!

[Barry Egan]

I'm just trying to stay on-topic.

[Cormacaroni]

i've read the whole thread, which discourages me from posting anything remotely personal. Why would I do that? So i can be subjected to jeering from cynical babymen who haven't the first inkling about how to succeed in marriage? I get it, you're all too fucking smart to ever get married.

[Barry Egan]

relax, I don't actually expect you to respond. 

Also on a serious note I have a deep respect for married people and its a hallowed institution that should be preserved.  marriage

[demi]

i've read the whole thread, which discourages me from posting anything remotely personal. Why would I do that? So i can be subjected to jeering from cynical babymen who haven't the first inkling about how to succeed in marriage? I get it, you're all too fucking smart to ever get married.

At least you admit it. Sometimes people just have this bullish attitude like they're right, you know? But you're different and I can appreciate that.

[Bildi]

So i can be subjected to jeering from cynical babymen who haven't the first inkling about how to succeed in marriage? I get it, you're all too fucking smart to ever get married.

Or they've been married and it didn't work for them.  People have different views and experiences, no need to insult them or make assumptions about them. 

[Cormacaroni]

So i can be subjected to jeering from cynical babymen who haven't the first inkling about how to succeed in marriage? I get it, you're all too fucking smart to ever get married.

Or they've been married and it didn't work for them.  People have different views and experiences, no need to insult them or make assumptions about them. 

Well, i tried to post something serious and open-mind that contributed to the discussion a little - look where it got me. Trolled to shit. You tell me what I should think.

[demi]

I think you should be more open-minded.

[Bildi]

Well, i tried to post something serious and open-mind that contributed to the discussion a little - look where it got me. Trolled to shit. You tell me what I should think.

I don't really think anyone was having a go at you dude - I think the intentions are pretty light-hearted even though marriage itself involves a fair proportion of serious work.

[Akala]

marriage is great.

[lennedsay]

marriage is great.

Agreed.

Marriage only sucks when you marry someone you're not supposed to be with in the first place.

[Beezy]

just had my 12th anniversary!

me and my beezy

 

[Fresh Prince]

Agreed.

Marriage only sucks when you marry someone you're not supposed to be with in the first place.

   smh

I broke my exile just to point out how stupid this statement is. Now to go for good

[lennedsay]

I stand by my statement. 

[Cormacaroni]

Well, i tried to post something serious and open-mind that contributed to the discussion a little - look where it got me. Trolled to shit. You tell me what I should think.

I don't really think anyone was having a go at you dude - I think the intentions are pretty light-hearted even though marriage itself involves a fair proportion of serious work.

Yeah, i get that this is a joke thread - that's why I'm not going into my personal life here, despite being invited to. This thread is just the wrong place to do that. Anyone who actually does is fair game

[Phoenix Dark]

i've read the whole thread, which discourages me from posting anything remotely personal. Why would I do that? So i can be subjected to jeering from cynical babymen who haven't the first inkling about how to succeed in marriage? I get it, you're all too fucking smart to ever get married.

rumble old man, rumble

[chronovore]

I'M DOOMED. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I didn't get that it was intended as a joke thread, but I can see that it's slid into one. Here's the real talk: Marriage is great. Having kids is great. Raising them is great. It's added a depth of experience to my life that I didn't even know existed. Cormacaroni's right about the whole myth of the "you lose half" -- and if you're going into a marriage with that kind of fear, you've not found the right person yet. The only people I know who are divorcing are the ones who looked around, saw friends getting married, panicked, and decided it was time to get married or be left behind. The married friends I have only seem to become more at home with each other, and more comfortable with themselves as time goes on. Or that could just be exhaustion from raising kids. :-)

[close]

I don't have a marriage, but I do have a new roommate. I was gonna make a thread about how much he's like me, then he committed major SMH Sins.
(blubbering about minor infringements clipped)

Dude, here's a recent post from a friend of mine who is having actual issues with her roommates:

I have an awkward situation here. Twice now, weeks apart, I've gotten into the shower at my house to discover a thin, reddish worm, couple inches long, writhing its way down the shower wall. Both times I've disposed of the creature.

Clearly, someone in the house has some kind of infestation. A few horrible minutes of internet research suggests that this is roundworm, a zoonotic parasite; conceivably these things started with one or the other of the cats. I will certainly follow up on that with my girl and talk to ($name) about checking her cat out as well.

The awkward part is how I inform the household that a member has worms. This doesn't seem like the sort of thing one puts up a note about. "Dear housemates, one of us is host to nematodic parasites. Please examine your feces carefully" is just, so... well... I hate leaving notes anyway, but this would be especially awful. But it seems less awful than talking to everyone individually.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I want to marry your friend

[chronovore]

She's left coast, and probably only 5 years younger than I am.

[Bloodwake]

it's complicated

[Mr. Gundam]

i've read the whole thread, which discourages me from posting anything remotely personal. Why would I do that? So i can be subjected to jeering from cynical babymen who haven't the first inkling about how to succeed in marriage? I get it, you're all too fucking smart to ever get married.

Marriage rocks.

[Van Cruncheon]

marriage does indeed rock

kids, otoh

[Mr. Gundam]

I'm still too freaked out to have kids. The plan is in 2-3 years and while I know that you're never really ready to have them, I sure hope I'm more ready than I am now.

[Barry Egan]

married ebers.  I didn't mean to offend any of you  :'(

[twerd]

YOU'LL NEVER BE READY FOR A SCREAMING BAG OF FLESH THAT SUCKS UP ALL YOUR PERSONAL TIME.

[brawndolicious]

Having a monogamous, long-term relationship and raising children doesn't require a marriage though.  I mean, I can understand how it benefits you as far as tax breaks are concerned but having your commitment legally enforced is somewhat gay.  I'd guess most of the real pressure comes from parents or ministers if you're already in a happy relationship.

wrt children, they're actually not that hard to raise.  They're pretty damn hard to raise if you want both of you to have a career/education because you have to be around them 24 hours a day.  A lot of women get a college degree and then basically have to stay at home for a decade for the kid to grow up and that's giving up a lot of career opportunities.  Unless maybe if you could get the grandparents to do a significant portion of the baby-sitting.

[Barry Egan]

its my understanding that raising a kid is only easy if you're still a kid.

[recursivelyenumerable]

She's left coast, and probably only 5 years younger than I am.

You're, what, 40?  Still works for me.

[chronovore]

She's left coast, and probably only 5 years younger than I am.

You're, what, 40?  Still works for me.

Awesome. I'll be right over.

[Bildi]

I'm still too freaked out to have kids. The plan is in 2-3 years and while I know that you're never really ready to have them, I sure hope I'm more ready than I am now.

I envy people who don't want kids.  I envy them a LOT.  Sadly I'm one of those idiots who would like an endless money pit in the house.

[Cormacaroni]

A lot of people say they don't want kids when they're young. Not many people actually die childless though. I'm struggling to think of anyone I know of that did so, actually, that wasn't gay or mentally ill.

[Mr. Gundam]

It's not that I don't want kids, I just don't feel emotionally prepared to have them right now.

[Cormacaroni]

what kind of process would emotionally prepare you for having kids? serious question. i don't think one exists. Everyone says that as kind of the stock excuse but I think if you ask the same people 5yrs later 'So hey, do you feel emotionally prepared for kids NOW?' the answer is usually still 'err, no'. That sure was the case with me.

If you want kids, you're ready. I wish to Christ we'd have kids 10 yrs earlier than we did, when we had more energy and didn't have any money anyway. I'm still changing nappies whereas my best friend from Ireland has kids in high school that are cooking dinner for her. She bitched about it at the time but now she's loving it. She has her freedom back when she's still young enough to do something with it AND she can do it all with the kids if she chooses.

[Bildi]

I friend of mine who's nearly 50 doesn't want kids and an instructor at the gym and her husband won't be having kids.  They're in their 40s or so I guess.  Those are the people I know that I envy.  But yeah, most people end up with the little bastards eventually.

[Cormacaroni]

Do you envy them enough to get a vasectomy?

[muckhole]

I do. Going in for the snip this fall.

[demi]

Anytime... anyplace 

[Cormacaroni]

muckhole - i bet demi will never be able to taste the difference.

[ToxicAdam]

Vasectomies rule. Hopefully Obamacare covers their cost. In fact, you should get a 12 pack and 100 dollar bill for doing it as a bonus.

Getting snipped does more to fight global warming than any any e-douchebag vehicle or solar panel on your roof ever will.

[Bildi]

Do you envy them enough to get a vasectomy?

No no, I would like kids.  I envy people who don't have the desire to have kids in the first place.

[Bildi]

I do. Going in for the snip this fall.

That's pretty darn manly right there.

[Cormacaroni]

Vasectomies rule. Hopefully Obamacare covers their cost. In fact, you should get a 12 pack and 100 dollar bill for doing it as a bonus.

Getting snipped does more to fight global warming than any any e-douchebag vehicle or solar panel on your roof ever will.

congrats, you just invented the Birth Panel!

[brawndolicious]

its my understanding that raising a kid is only easy if you're still a kid.

Yes I mentioned the fact that it's basically a career.  My mom had a baby a couple years ago when I was 18, if she didn't already have two adult kids than I really don't know how she could raise it because old people get tired FAST.  The best way to raise a family I think is by having two working parents (no woman should have the torture staying at home all day long) and getting one of the grandmothers to live with you for a few years.  It is possible to not have your entire existence destroyed by having a child but it takes a lot of preparation.

[Brehvolution]

3 and out