Author Topic: aisle blockers at the grocery store. (Read 4590 times)

BlackMage · « **on:** August 20, 2009, 01:10:11 AM »

Can we just kill them all? The worst offenders are those people that put their cart right next to a display so that both side of the aisle are blocked off. This shit happens at least once every time i go.

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #1 on:** August 20, 2009, 01:12:02 AM »

Say "excuse me" and make them move

BlackMage · « **Reply #2 on:** August 20, 2009, 01:12:48 AM »

Quote from: Mamacint on August 20, 2009, 01:12:02 AM

Say "excuse me" and make them move

while they are squatting over i tend to just put my foot into their lower back and push.

Bildi · « **Reply #3 on:** August 20, 2009, 01:16:35 AM »

Yep, people need to shift their big fat asses.

Ran into the problem just yesterday with two dumb cows walking down the street right in front of a door I needed to go in. I'm pretty patient so be polite I walked behind them until I realised just how fucking slow they were travelling so I had to walk around them.

They were walking about a foot per second.

Narag · « **Reply #4 on:** August 20, 2009, 01:36:24 AM »

I fucking hate the people that are walking down a side of the aisle leaving you an open lane but as you come up on them from behind, motherfuckers move dead center so they're blocking the aisle.

Beezy · « **Reply #5 on:** August 20, 2009, 02:30:48 AM »

Quote from: BlackMage on August 20, 2009, 01:12:48 AM

Quote from: Mamacint on August 20, 2009, 01:12:02 AM
Say "excuse me" and make them move

while they are squatting over i tend to just put my foot into their lower back and push.

I literally loled at this.

I hate these people too. It was even more annoying when I was working at a supermarket. They made my shitty job even worse.

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #6 on:** August 20, 2009, 09:33:13 AM »

I am always amazed at the density of stupid people at the grocery store. Aisle blockers are a pet peeve of mine too. I also hate people who get in the self scan checkout, while being apparently incapable of operating technology that is 20+ years old. Fffffffffffuuuuuuu-

archie4208 · « **Reply #7 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:13:13 AM »

I love self checkout so much simply because nobody seems to use it. I wish my local stores had it.

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #8 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:22:41 AM »

Quote from: Bildi on August 20, 2009, 01:16:35 AM

Ran into the problem just yesterday with two dumb cows walking down the street right in front of a door I needed to go in. I'm pretty patient so be polite I walked behind them until I realised just how fucking slow they were travelling so I had to walk around them.

They were walking about a foot per second.

This is the most awkward situation in the world, especially when they give you a sidelong *WTF* glance as you briskly walk past and try not to make eye contact.

Fragamemnon · « **Reply #9 on:** August 20, 2009, 03:46:18 PM »

That's annoying but not nearly as bad as running into a mom w/ obnoxious (are there any other kind?) kids in the line and then having her bust out the little envelope of coupons when everything's rung up and having the system reject half of them, then haggling with the floor manager at the register for five minutes.

COUPWNED. Thankfully my secret algorithm for determining fastest route through grocery lines puts women with children at the highest level of things to avoid.

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #10 on:** August 20, 2009, 04:04:28 PM »

Quote from: Fragamemnon on August 20, 2009, 03:46:18 PM

Thankfully my secret algorithm for determining fastest route through grocery lines puts women with children at the highest level of things to avoid.

Disclose please. I have an uncanny ability to always pick the loser line $:-\$

lennedsay · « **Reply #11 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:46:22 PM »

I just do this so you'll talk to me... Just asking for an "excuse me" and some major eye contact... Sorry.. $:-\$

Narag · « **Reply #12 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:02:05 PM »

Quote from: Fragamemnon on August 20, 2009, 03:46:18 PM

That's annoying but not nearly as bad as running into a mom w/ obnoxious (are there any other kind?) kids in the line and then having her bust out the little envelope of coupons when everything's rung up and having the system reject half of them, then haggling with the floor manager at the register for five minutes.

COUPWNED. Thankfully my secret algorithm for determining fastest route through grocery lines puts women with children at the highest level of things to avoid.

Oh lord, heaven forbid the price is off. One woman in line at a store I was at was degrading the cashier, the store, and the clientele as she was upset her clearanced easter grass that was marked at 5 cents rang up at 10 cents. To this day, I wish I'd given her the $1-2 she was losing out on just to send her on her fucking way.

Yeti · « **Reply #13 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:09:38 PM »

The other day in line at the store the beast woman behind me kept ramming her shopping cart into my ass. So when it came time to put my groceries on the conveyor belt, I shrewdly walked to the front of my cart to unload it, which placed my cart as a barrier between me and her. Unfortunately, like the little drone ships shooting out of a protoss carrier, her children spawn proceeded to run amok throughout the whole aisle rubbing all up against my legs to squeeze past me and look at the candy and other impulse buys. One pudgy little boy plopped his fat ass right in front of me to sit down on the filthy floor and play with a pez dispenser still in the packaging like it was a plane or a spaceship or some such thing. I took relish in jamming him in the back as I pushed my cart past him to get to the bagging station.

Bildi · « **Reply #14 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:12:52 PM »

That woman sounds like a right bitch.

When parents are letting their little girls run amok I always have an intense desire to grab their pony tails as they run past and let their feet keep going.

But that would not adequately punish the fuckwit parents who are really the ones at fault.

lennedsay · « **Reply #15 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:18:36 PM »

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!

huckleberry · « **Reply #16 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:28:25 PM »

I am the kind of asshole who, when I get blocked down an aisle, will push past the offender and then block them completely an aisle or two later. I don't do it to women with kids....mainly fucking old people - I mean, jesus, how long have you lived and not learned manners.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #17 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:34:09 PM »

This is why I cannot go to Costco on the weekends. I want to kill people there.

huckleberry · « **Reply #18 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:35:57 PM »

I have actually growled at people in the grocery $:-\$

spoiler (click to show/hide)

:'( I am so ashamed

[close]

Bildi · « **Reply #19 on:** August 21, 2009, 01:13:13 AM »

Quote from: distantmantra on August 20, 2009, 11:34:09 PM

This is why I cannot go to Costco on the weekends. I want to kill people there.

Take your lawnmower next time.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #20 on:** August 21, 2009, 01:28:01 AM »

Quote from: distantmantra on August 20, 2009, 11:34:09 PM

This is why I cannot go to Costco on the weekends. I want to kill people there.

Those aisles are huge, though!

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #21 on:** August 21, 2009, 01:42:51 AM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on August 21, 2009, 01:28:01 AM

Quote from: distantmantra on August 20, 2009, 11:34:09 PM
This is why I cannot go to Costco on the weekends. I want to kill people there.

Those aisles are huge, though!

Add some clueless old people and two or three unmonitored kids to the equation along with lots of people and you'll understand my plight.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #22 on:** August 21, 2009, 02:06:02 AM »

I don't get the unmonitored kids thing. Maybe they just get tired of telling them what to do and decided to say "fuck it"? When I'm taking my niece and nephews places, I keep them respectful and they don't bounce off the walls...

chronovore · « **Reply #23 on:** August 31, 2009, 11:13:20 AM »

Quote from: distantmantra on August 20, 2009, 11:34:09 PM

This is why I cannot go to Costco on the weekends. I want to kill people there.

t actually encounter the problem anywhere else, really. But CostCo gets the weirdest, least considerate, completely clueless assclowns. It doesn't help that the cart is 1.5x normal cart width, but in my case it actually makes me -more- aware of how big an obstacle I may be. These other creeps just bring their cart and put it at an angle in the middle, and then begin the apparently very mentally laborious act of choosing white or yellow corn chips. GET YOUR FUCKING CART OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY. All of my little liberal tendencies fly right out the window, and I want to dislocate my jaw and swallow their god damned heads whole.

Quote from: CajoleJuice on August 21, 2009, 01:28:01 AM

Those aisles are huge, though!

So are the carts. So are the food packages. So are the other customers' asses.

Quote from: Arde0 on August 20, 2009, 11:35:57 PM

I have actually growled at people in the grocery $:-\$

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:'( I am so ashamed
[close]

Embrace it. They almost certainly deserved a wake up call.

Bildi · « **Reply #24 on:** August 31, 2009, 06:49:49 PM »

Quote from: Kranz Fafka on August 21, 2009, 02:06:02 AM

I don't get the unmonitored kids thing. Maybe they just get tired of telling them what to do and decided to say "fuck it"? When I'm taking my niece and nephews places, I keep them respectful and they don't bounce off the walls...

Good man.

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #25 on:** August 31, 2009, 07:14:45 PM »

What I want to know is, when did it become de rigour for morons to PULL THEIR SHOPPING CART BY THE SIDES? Look fucker, push the cart from the back like a NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO IT *goes insane*

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #26 on:** August 31, 2009, 07:26:33 PM »

I like it when a woman in tight track pants\bicycle shorts feels the need to walk ahead of me in a grocery aisle only to spend forever perusing the shelves

lennedsay · « **Reply #27 on:** August 31, 2009, 07:54:20 PM »

I went to IKEA yesterday and had a panic attack over aisle blockers.

Just walked 2 miles down Michigan Ave at 5pm and surprisingly held it together.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #28 on:** August 31, 2009, 09:00:22 PM »

I growl all the time, at everybody, especially while debugging my code.

huckleberry · « **Reply #29 on:** August 31, 2009, 09:06:38 PM »

Quote

Quote from: Arde0 on August 20, 2009, 11:35:57 PM
I have actually growled at people in the grocery $:-\$

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:'( I am so ashamed
[close]
Embrace it. They almost certainly deserved a wake up call.

I growled at an old lady at Best Buy today whose gigantic ass and horrible perfume was intentionally blocking me from checking out the phones. Funny thing is that she actually acknowledged it and moved.... $:-\$

Snuflupagulus · « **Reply #30 on:** September 03, 2009, 12:58:39 AM »

Never go to Berkeley Bowl. It's like group therapy for all the trustafarians and tetchy granola fucks. Shoulder blocks, achilles chops, elbows akimbo. It's MMA for lanky self-possessed white people.

Still, they have great produce.

Bocsius · « **Reply #31 on:** September 03, 2009, 01:18:01 AM »

I love it when people park it right in front of something I want. Make your selection and move on, people. I literally waited 5 minutes one time while some woman could not make up her mind what kind of yogurt she wanted. Then she proceeded to have a conversation with another customer about having yogurt for breakfast. Take strawberry yoplait and get the freak out of the way.

This afternoon, I was at the store ready to do self checkout. While I was waiting, I was feeling sorry for the woman who had two small children with her, one of them screaming because he couldn't open up the bag of Doritos while in the store. I was feeling sorry for her because who in their right minds wants children anyway? Seems to be a horrible choice in life. Anyway, when the spot in front of her opened up and I was just about to put my hand basket down, she proceeded to put her purse, car keys, phone, etc., down where the basket would go. She was effectively taking up two checkouts. Sympathy: gone. Fortunately, another spot immediately opened up.

Speaking of self-checkout, I hate stores that do not keep them open all the time. When I used to work second shift, I would have to avoid the store closest to me because they closed their self-checkout by the time I got off work. The next closest store, however, wasn't much better. They kept their self-checkout open, but locked away all their hand-baskets.

On that note, the Wal-mart closest to me sucks balls. I hate going there and try not to as best I can. Frankly, shoppers at Wal-mart are generally a sad lot I'd rather not rub elbows with, and there are droves of them. The Target close by is much more convenient to get in and out of, except it does not have self-checkout. But the Wal-mart might as well not have it, either. Everytime I'm there, the area at one end of the store is closed, so I have to go down to the one near the grocery section. Being that most Wal-mart customers are blithering idiots, you end up waiting for ten minutes because the person in front of the person in front of you can't figure out what a bar code is. And the last time I was there, even that self-checkout was closed. What a horrible store.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #32 on:** September 03, 2009, 01:51:48 AM »

Don't shop at Wal-mart.

Problem solved.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #33 on:** September 03, 2009, 03:05:24 AM »

i just got back from a Starbucks-like coffee chain in the building where i work. It was pretty crowded, being lunch time, so i got my coffee and went to sit at this table with two chairs at it, one of which had a bag on it. The owner of the bag came running out of the line where she was waiting to buy her stuff, and told me that this was HER table. I pointed out that lots of other folks were sharing tables, it being busy. She said she didn't care. I told her she was being a bit cheeky, since she hadn't even bought anything yet, and I had.

then a much nicer table for two with big comfy armchairs opened up so i went off and sat at it, leaving her with her coffee and her black, withered soul. What the fuck.

chronovore · « **Reply #34 on:** September 03, 2009, 06:07:57 AM »

Those types, and they are invariably women between the ages of 20 to 40, are the bane of society and the harbingers of the collapse of Japanese moral fabric. And I'm only mildly exaggerating. In any other country if they left their purse as a placeholder while they wait in line, they'd be lucky if the table was all that they lost. Are they seriously so incredibly self-centered that they think they're the only ones "clever" enough to leave a personal belonging at a table?

I believe I would have asked her to take it up with the manager and that, actually, "I don't feel like sharing MY table with you now. Bye. Buh-bye." (little hand wave, mocking sad face)

Exactly how did you say "cheeky" in Japanese? I am greatly curious.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #35 on:** September 03, 2009, 06:57:37 AM »

"namaiki"

chronovore · « **Reply #36 on:** September 03, 2009, 11:17:43 AM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on September 03, 2009, 06:57:37 AM

"namaiki"

That's what I was going to guess. I'd have probably gone for "zuzushii" and tossed in "o-mae" for a pronoun. Christ, what cunts.

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Author Topic: aisle blockers at the grocery store. (Read 4590 times)