Policenauts Translation Release

[demi]

wow gee that doesnt make you a NOOB AT ALL

[bork]

I kept that image file after I converted everything.  Didn't have my computer in front of me when I got to that part though!

[demi]

i know boo, you are my special noob.

[demi]

How do you do the Mosquito part? I cant seem to get the cursor slow enough to slap it. Am I doing it wrong?

edit: I switched controls to Analog Stick and it worked... w/e I slapped some tits

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

yeah that part is just a thinly-veiled excuse to just slap some tits.

[cool breeze]

you can touch the flight attendant's breasts, like, ten times before she threatens to throw you into SPACE 

and shooting is awful.  Did this game at least support analog sticks?

[bork]

you can touch the flight attendant's breasts, like, ten times before she threatens to throw you into SPACE 

and shooting is awful.  Did this game at least support analog sticks?

It had PSX mouse support, IIRC.

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

The final shooting sequence

spoiler (click to show/hide)

with you following Redwood up the stairs was so damn hard; especially when he'd get back to the upper levels and only be a couple pixels wide.

[close]

It was fucking terrible.

[demi]

I can only play this for like 5 minutes before becoming bored. It's why I can't watch movies period. BORING

[The Sceneman]

can someone please link me to a file that I can DL, put on my PSP and play? Yes, I am a n00b

[cool breeze]

I just got to Chapter 2 of (?) and it's alright so far.  Yeah, switched to mouse controls and it helped a lot.  It's really wordy compared to Snatcher.  Kojima loves his techno-babel that no one else cares about.  Best part is that the main character is all like "I don't like this case, it stinks! we're in too deep!...LET ME TOUCH YOUR BREASTS!"  He even compares the different breasts he touches in the game.  I also pretty sure that you and Ed are Mel Gibson and Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon.  I suspect that it might have been a known thing before because the translator made a sugar tits joke at one point.

[bork]

No question that it's the Lethal Weapon duo; Snatcher's lead was based on Harrison Ford in Blade Runner.  There's a joke about the two main characters look the same in Policenauts, too. 

And then of course we have Solid Snake, who's a rip-off of Kyle Reese from The Terminator.  And let's not forget about Sean "Big Boss" Connery!

[cool breeze]

This motorcycle shooting sequence makes me want to die.  Someone needs to kick Kojima in the balls for this shit.  Gee, it's a smart idea to put the save before a ten minute cutscene, then have the first major shooting section in hours where this guy doesn't fucking die and trucks are hitting you and shit.  Fuck this.

And why won't anyone shut the fuck up.  They explain what they will do, what they are doing, then what they did.  This is ridiculous.  Why do I need to ask Meryl every question before she tells me about an important call? this is stupid.

oh, and that ten minute cutscene is a mandatory recap of the story.  HURRRR

[cool breeze]

ok, the

spoiler (click to show/hide)

bomb sequence is the worst thing ever.  What's worse is that after 10 attempts, the game crashes and I have to redo that bag section BECAUSE KOJIMA IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE and put the save before it.  This is ridiculous.

[close]

HAHAHAHA 20 minutes of doing that bag shit, waiting for the endless dialogue to finish, doing the actual section, and the game freezes.  brb, going to have aneurysm

[demi]

I just deleted the game from my PSP once I blew up the bomb. I'm done with this game

"Hm maybe one more touch." (with the screw)

*click*

*sudden red light*

*right click -> delete*

I'm gonna just watch it on youtube instead.

[cool breeze]

Finished it.  It was alright before and after Chapter 3.  Chapter 3 was atrocious.  Didn't like it as much as Snatcher, but it was still ok.  Everything about the story was way too predictable and the game is so linear that it drives you crazy.  Maybe that's the point, it's just really annoying.  And shooting sequences are better than Snatcher with L/R auto-targeting.

btw, for anyone who finished the game or reads Japanese:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

what is said after the credits? the game crashed in the credits (a known problem, apparently) and I just looked up the ending on youtube, but it's only in Japanese.  Anyone know what was said?



Starts at 8 minutes into the video.  Massive spoilers, obviously.

[close]

[Diunx]

Its there a patched version up already? I don't wanna be downloading a lot of bs programs on my slow ass internet.

[demi]

Probably.

[bork]

I'm at that motorcycle part now.     It's awful.

Its there a patched version up already? I don't wanna be downloading a lot of bs programs on my slow ass internet.

Try searching for "Policenauts English torrent."  Brought up a bunch of results.