Author Topic: The Evilbore Bootyology Test (Read 2879 times)

Flannel Boy · « **on:** August 27, 2009, 08:46:17 PM »

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-bootyology-test

Quote

Your result for The Bootyology Test ...
Round and Curvy!

You prefer 76% ass mass!
Hips and ass and thighs, oh my! Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call hips and handlebars. Your girl has a shape that turns heads, and her curvaceous virtue is visible from several angles. This type of butt isn't something you can really work on; it's much more of a genetic gift. With a caboose like hers walking around, I'd guess you have a really hard time not giving it the occasional smack or squeeze; it's too shapely and inviting for you to just do nothing with it! Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think.
You scored 76% on ass mass, higher than 86% of your peers.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #1 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:52:28 PM »

I'm suppressed yours didn't say

"You prefer 100% man ass!
Hips that make a belt necessary and an ass created from years of blacksmithing or other manly jobs. Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call a dick. Many a womanly sighs have been passed as this man walks by. Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think.
You scored 0% on ass mass, higher than 99% of your peers."

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #2 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:53:35 PM »

Soft and Smooth!
You prefer 54% ass mass!

It looks like you prefer a girl who can put just a little something in her jeans. You're the most likely to spot a nice ass on the street, usually on a girl who isn't particularly dressed up or trying to be sexy. You go for an understated grace; a slight curve of the hips, a subtle roundness of the backside... just enough to hold onto. Chances are you have (or will have) a girl whose butt you'll adore and she won't see what all the fuss is about. Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think. Now go buy your lady a pretty, lacy thong and spend some QT with her booty!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #3 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:53:44 PM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on August 27, 2009, 08:52:28 PM

I'm suppressed

I bet you are

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #4 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:54:00 PM »

Oh, Arvie.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #5 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:54:45 PM »

You prefer 72% ass mass!

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #6 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:55:38 PM »

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :'(

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #7 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:55:45 PM »

Quote

Hips and ass and thighs, oh my! Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call hips and handlebars. Your girl has a shape that turns heads, and her curvaceous virtue is visible from several angles. This type of butt isn't something you can really work on; it's much more of a genetic gift. With a caboose like hers walking around, I'd guess you have a really hard time not giving it the occasional smack or squeeze; it's too shapely and inviting for you to just do nothing with it! Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think.

You scored 67% on ass mass, higher than 70% of your peers.

*daps Malek*

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #8 on:** August 27, 2009, 08:58:34 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 27, 2009, 08:55:45 PM

*daps Malek*

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #9 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:04:59 PM »

Malek is that Canadian brotha' from another motha'

etiolate · « **Reply #10 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:05:11 PM »

Round and Curvy!

You prefer 63% ass mass!

Hips and ass and thighs, oh my! Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call hips and handlebars. Your girl has a shape that turns heads, and her curvaceous virtue is visible from several angles. This type of butt isn't something you can really work on; it's much more of a genetic gift. With a caboose like hers walking around, I'd guess you have a really hard time not giving it the occasional smack or squeeze; it's too shapely and inviting for you to just do nothing with it! Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think.

etiolate · « **Reply #11 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:06:24 PM »

I think I lose points for not knowing what the underwear sizes equate to.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #12 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:10:54 PM »

That just makes me sound like a pervert.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #13 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:15:04 PM »

Quote

Round and Curvy!
You prefer 56% ass mass!

Hips and ass and thighs, oh my! Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call hips and handlebars. Your girl has a shape that turns heads, and her curvaceous virtue is visible from several angles. This type of butt isn't something you can really work on; it's much more of a genetic gift. With a caboose like hers walking around, I'd guess you have a really hard time not giving it the occasional smack or squeeze; it's too shapely and inviting for you to just do nothing with it! Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think.

I like my booty balanced

Oh! and damn this survey for having me sign up for OkCupid again :'(

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #14 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:18:48 PM »

Yea, I signed into my account for the first time in ages. Someone wooed me a couple weeks ago, but meh $:-\$

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #15 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:25:43 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 27, 2009, 09:18:48 PM

Yea, I signed into my account for the first time in ages. Someone wooed me a couple weeks ago, but meh $:-\$

The hell is a woo? I can't even get a woman to reply to my messages.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

OK, technically, a girl asked me out on OKCupid's IM, but she's either jailbait or a joke account.

[close]

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #16 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:34:07 PM »

Round and Curvy 57%

I had to ask my wife about women's underwear sizes

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #17 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:35:30 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on August 27, 2009, 09:10:20 PM

Quote
Soft and Smooth!

You prefer 55% ass mass!

It looks like you prefer a girl who can put just a little something in her jeans. You're the most likely to spot a nice ass on the street, usually on a girl who isn't particularly dressed up or trying to be sexy. You go for an understated grace; a slight curve of the hips, a subtle roundness of the backside... just enough to hold onto. Chances are you have (or will have) a girl whose butt you'll adore and she won't see what all the fuss is about. Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think. Now go buy your lady a pretty, lacy thong and spend some QT with her booty!

Quote
You're the most likely to spot a nice ass on the street, usually on a girl who isn't particularly dressed up or trying to be sexy.

You don't say...

Jin knows how to spot a nice booty in a burqa.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #18 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:37:33 PM »

Quote from: Malek on August 27, 2009, 09:25:43 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 27, 2009, 09:18:48 PM
Yea, I signed into my account for the first time in ages. Someone wooed me a couple weeks ago, but meh $:-\$

The hell is a woo? I can't even get a woman to reply to my messages.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
OK, technically, a girl asked me out on OKCupid's IM, but she's either jailbait or a joke account.
[close]

I guess it's like a wink, or a poke on facebook; you woo someone when you're interested in them, if they woo back then who knows what's gonna happen! I have about 7 but I've never felt the need to respond

On the other hand, I've only wooed one person, and she didn't even look at my account smh $:-\$

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #19 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:41:16 PM »

I had a woo from a chud. OK Cupid is full of fugly chicks.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #20 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:48:05 PM »

Fuck, I'm doing the improve my matches thing on OkCupid. FML, FM motherfucking L!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #21 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:52:11 PM »

Get off that stupid site and go out and socialize. Your odds will be better, and less occurrence of hideous, crazy chicks.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #22 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:52:51 PM »

Blue, I've answered over 1400 questions.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #23 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:53:15 PM »

Quote from: Willco on August 27, 2009, 09:52:11 PM

Get off that stupid site and go out and socialize.

I can only assume this advice wasn't intended for me.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #24 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:54:25 PM »

No, it was intended for BlueTsunami.

You're pretty much a lost cause at this point.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #25 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:57:01 PM »

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #26 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:57:57 PM »

Seems like we need another E-Dating thread

edit: ah you can search for who's looking for sex now. Finally; not that I'd contact them, but it's interesting nonetheless $:-\$

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #27 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:58:02 PM »

Malek <3

But yeah, my interest is usually piqued by OkCupid, then I realize my inability to create a non dorky self summary and then skulk on Evilbore.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #28 on:** August 27, 2009, 09:58:15 PM »

Hey, we're all rooting for you, man.

... but giving you practical advice on the opposite sex is like giving the Palestinians and the Israelis a blueprint for peace - totally futile.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #29 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:00:58 PM »

I can't disagree. You can try to reason with me all you want, but I'll continue with my irrational, self-defeating behavior.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #30 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:01:44 PM »

We know Malek. You don't have to tell us :'(

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #31 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:04:40 PM »

If I got an A-List membership, would that seem desperate?

(you get to be on the first page of searches!)

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #32 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:07:43 PM »

I didn't even know that service existed

How many views does your profile get a week? 1 for me. I think most chicks have their browsing set to anonymous to avoid messages from every dude they view. At least I hope so :'(

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #33 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:10:05 PM »

I had 14 the last seven days, including slave girl, who viewed my profile for the first time recently.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #34 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:13:08 PM »

Quote from: Malek on August 27, 2009, 10:10:05 PM

I had 14 the last seven days, including slave girl, who viewed my profile for the first time recently.

wow now I feel shitty

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #35 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:14:34 PM »

Oh man, the A-List Membership sounds like Deviant Arts special membership for having your work feature on the first page

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #36 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:14:59 PM »

yet she didn't reply? I'm glad I haven't joined. This whole site sounds humiliating.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #37 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:15:15 PM »

I've been sending out messages, though I didn't send any to 13 of the 14 visitors, most of whom are dogs with fleas.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #38 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:16:02 PM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on August 27, 2009, 10:14:34 PM

Oh man, the A-List Membership sounds like Deviant Arts special membership for having your work feature on the first page

Hey, I could be a 0% match and a woman could block me ("dead to me") and still have to look at my ugly mug! Only $5 a month!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #39 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:19:05 PM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on August 27, 2009, 10:14:59 PM

yet she didn't reply?

A month after I messaged her, she viewed my profile on three occasions (it only displays the last time) and never replied. What's up with that? (she may have viewed it earlier on private mode.)

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #40 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:20:43 PM »

Maybe she found you attractive but on account of her moving to japan she didn't want to start anything. Or not.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #41 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:23:12 PM »

Quote

I'm going to japan, so fuck off

Regards,

Slave Girl

Is that so difficult?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #42 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:24:19 PM »

Girls are stupid.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #43 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:34:55 PM »

Maybe she's going for the octopi.

NSFW

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #44 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:36:22 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on August 27, 2009, 10:32:54 PM

Quote
I'm going to glorious japan, so fuck off baka

sayonara,

kawaii Slave-chan

fixed.

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #45 on:** August 27, 2009, 10:41:45 PM »

Malek

Akala · « **Reply #46 on:** August 27, 2009, 11:02:03 PM »

Quote

You scored 55% on ass mass, higher than 41% of your peers.

kind of skewed tho, 4 of the girls I rated were red x's. :'(

Beezy · « **Reply #47 on:** August 28, 2009, 01:37:21 AM »

Quote

Your result for The Bootyology Test ...
Round and Curvy!

You prefer 76% ass mass!

Hips and ass and thighs, oh my! Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call hips and handlebars. Your girl has a shape that turns heads, and her curvaceous virtue is visible from several angles. This type of butt isn't something you can really work on; it's much more of a genetic gift. With a caboose like hers walking around, I'd guess you have a really hard time not giving it the occasional smack or squeeze; it's too shapely and inviting for you to just do nothing with it!

surprise surprise

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #48 on:** August 28, 2009, 01:41:50 AM »

It figures that the forum's only black poster would get the same exact score as I did.

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny

Beezy · « **Reply #49 on:** August 28, 2009, 01:44:35 AM »

I never knew that you had such good taste.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #50 on:** August 28, 2009, 01:59:31 AM »

I call shenanigans

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #51 on:** August 28, 2009, 01:59:52 AM »

some of multiple choice sections don't have pics to go alongside them. or maybe this is why i fail standardized tests

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #52 on:** August 28, 2009, 02:02:21 AM »

Quote from: Beezy on August 28, 2009, 01:44:35 AM

I never knew that you had such good taste.

Yeah, I'd have taken Malek for a titty fan. No clue why

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #53 on:** August 28, 2009, 02:05:19 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 28, 2009, 01:59:52 AM

some of multiple choice sections don't have pics to go alongside them. or maybe this is why i fail standardized tests

If I experienced this problem, I would pick C by default because it looks like a round butt cheek.

Quote from: OptimoPeach on August 28, 2009, 02:02:21 AM

Quote from: Beezy on August 28, 2009, 01:44:35 AM
I never knew that you had such good taste.
Yeah, I'd have taken Malek for a titty fan. No clue why

Why can't I be a fan of both?

Face >> tits = ass

brawndolicious · « **Reply #54 on:** August 28, 2009, 07:07:05 AM »

Quote

You prefer 59% ass mass!

Hips and ass and thighs, oh my! Yeah, you like 'em with what my friends and I like to call hips and handlebars. Your girl has a shape that turns heads, and her curvaceous virtue is visible from several angles. This type of butt isn't something you can really work on; it's much more of a genetic gift. With a caboose like hers walking around, I'd guess you have a really hard time not giving it the occasional smack or squeeze; it's too shapely and inviting for you to just do nothing with it! Thanks again for taking the test and be sure to rate it to let me know what you think.

That's the second result. First was 60%. I think anything more than that would just be cellulite though.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #55 on:** August 28, 2009, 07:20:15 AM »

elektrikluv · « **Reply #56 on:** August 29, 2009, 08:45:21 AM »

I figured you for a tit>ass guy, Malek. It must be the Jenny Lewis avatar.

Reb · « **Reply #57 on:** August 29, 2009, 08:51:14 AM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on August 29, 2009, 08:45:21 AM

I figured you for a tit>ass guy, Malek. It must be the Jenny Lewis avatar.

Tits.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #58 on:** August 29, 2009, 01:49:21 PM »

Quote from: Malek on August 28, 2009, 02:05:19 AM

Face >> tits = ass

.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #59 on:** August 29, 2009, 01:52:57 PM »

Hair>Face>Ass>>breasts

News:

Author Topic: The Evilbore Bootyology Test (Read 2879 times)