Author Topic: Watch out, this will give ManaByte a chubby! (Read 2067 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** September 20, 2009, 01:20:48 AM »

Mysterious, creepy looking dead animal found in Panama!

Chupacabra? Aliens?!

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #1 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:27:56 AM »

Mewtwo pokeman

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #2 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:32:04 AM »

"[insert studio] is making a viral campaign for [insert washed up franchise only Manabyte knows about]. Didn't you guys know this?"

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #3 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:32:39 AM »

Image for those who hate video:

Also in weird news this week, some woman found a snake that grew a hand!

"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound ... at first I thought it was thieves" she said.

"I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw."

... that's fucking creepy.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #4 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:33:12 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 20, 2009, 01:32:04 AM

"[insert studio] is making a viral campaign for [insert washed up franchise only Manabyte knows about]. Didn't you guys know this?"

No, it's real. Sane people are speculating it's a sloth fetus or some kind of sloth with a disease.

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #5 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:33:40 AM »

You forgot the part where she beat it to death with a shoe. I would have screamed like a little girl and fled the room

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #6 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:34:35 AM »

Dude, if I saw a snake crawling up a wall with a hand, I probably would have literally pissed myself. Seriously. I'd be soaked in my own urine.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #7 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:36:11 AM »

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:33:12 AM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 20, 2009, 01:32:04 AM
"[insert studio] is making a viral campaign for [insert washed up franchise only Manabyte knows about]. Didn't you guys know this?"

No, it's real. Sane people are speculating it's a sloth fetus or some kind of sloth with a disease.

Hey man, I'm trying to make fun of Manabye here. Leave me be

For all we know that could be Bison Dele

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #8 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:36:39 AM »

Combined with the story about the legally insane killer from a mental institution that escaped a massive manhunt in Washington, it's starting to feel like October. The quotes on this dude read like a screenplay:

The extent of Paul's illness was disturbing even to mental health professionals, KREM reported.

"He's the only paranoid schizophrenic -- I've seen hundreds, maybe thousands of them -- that frightened me," Dr. Frank Hardy, a licensed psychiatrist, said in one of the documents, according to KREM. "The first time I took one look at him -- and I've never done this before or since -- I asked the jailer to remain in the room while I examined him.

"I believe he would respond to his delusions and his voices again" if released, Hardy wrote.

... This guy sounds like MICHAEL MYERS. He's coming home, bitches!

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #9 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:39:06 AM »

Whoa, link to the crazy escaped schizo story plz.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:39:58 AM »

please don't be michigan

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #11 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:40:00 AM »

DISTANTMANTRA, PROLE AND FELLOW WASHINGTONIANS, LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS TONIGHT WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP!!!

He murdered a community activist in the 80s because he thought she was a witch.

The guy apparently tried to escape before and assaulted an officer, but they decided to take him on a field trip to the county fair.

This is my next screenplay.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

... Wouldn't it be weird if she really was a witch, and everything thought he was just crazy?

[close]

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #12 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:41:26 AM »

Ok, found it on the front page of CNN.com. And I think I figured out the problem within the first sentence:

Quote

A legally insane killer was on the loose in the state of Washington on Saturday, two days after he escaped during a field trip to a county fair, authorities said.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #13 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:44:20 AM »

To be fair, he probably lured the hospital officials into a false state of security with his comatose behavior. But - hah! - it was all a ruse, as he has been cleverly planning his escape for the past twenty years.

Now, with just a month to go until Halloween, he's going to travel back to where it all began - and finish the job by murdering that woman's entire family! And anyone that gets in the way!*

spoiler (click to show/hide)

* may include hot college coeds engaging in premarital sex, under aged drinking and recreational drug use.

[close]

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #14 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:44:35 AM »

Holy fuck, it gets better:

Quote

Sgt. Dave Reagan told CNN that Paul was carrying a backpack full with clothing, leading authorities to believe he may have planned his escape.

"When he left the hospital on Thursday, it appears he took most of his clothing, so we now have an idea of what was in the backpack when he escaped at the fairgrounds," Reagan said.

who the fuck is running things up there? "Yeah, we've got this guy who is certifiably nuts, killed a chick because he thought she was a witch, tried to escape and assaulted an officer previously... let's take him to the county fair and let him bring a back pack full of clothes with him. Maybe we'll give him some spending money and a car, too. What could go wrong!"

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #15 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:47:16 AM »

It's like one of those unbelievable premises for a slasher flick that people wouldn't believe you if you told them it was real.

"That new Will Federman flick, THE COTTON CANDY KILLER, was such bullshit! What kind of mental institution would take an insane murderer on a field trip to a county fair?! What a stupid story."

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #16 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:49:12 AM »

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:47:16 AM

It's like one of those unbelievable premises for a slasher flick that people wouldn't believe you if you told them it was real.

"That new Andy Milonakis flick, THE COTTON CANDY KILLER, was such bullshit! What kind of mental institution would take an insane murderer on a field trip to a county fair?! What a stupid story."

fixt lol

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #17 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:49:40 AM »

I wouldn't star in it, so that makes no sense!

Bocsius · « **Reply #18 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:50:47 AM »

That's ridiculous. Legally insane killer on a trip to the county fair.

But wait! There's more!

Dude is allowed to have a backpack.

But wait! There's more!

The contents of the backpack evidently were discerned after he made his escape. They apparently did not even search the daggum thing beforehand.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is what happens when you put a bleeding heart in the White House.

[close]

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #19 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:53:30 AM »

*pictures a slo mo scene of Paul riding a merry-go-round before disappearing*

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #20 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:55:02 AM »

Who will be first to link this to Obama - Rush or Glenn Beck?

Maybe Beck can tie all these odd stories to Obama.

"Folks, is it not enough that we have a President sitting in the White House that lets insane, schizophrenic killers go to county fairs when they can prey on your children? Is it not enough that his liberal goons let him escape, so he can stalk your neighborhoods and murder your family in their sleep?

... but now we have word that snakes are growing hands, and some kind of unborn alien monster in Panama. These are a sign of the times, folks. The Anti-Christ is here.

And he's Kenyan."

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #21 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:55:40 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 20, 2009, 01:53:30 AM

*pictures a slo mo scene of Paul riding a merry-go-round before disappearing*

You're going to be so pissed when this appears in a slasher flick five years from now.

"What the fuck, I wrote that on a message board!"

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #22 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:59:05 AM »

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:55:02 AM

Who will be first to link this to Obama - Rush or Glenn Beck?

Maybe Beck can tie all these odd stories to Obama.

"Folks, is it not enough that we have a President sitting in the White House that lets insane, schizophrenic killers go to county fairs when they can prey on your children? Is it not enough that his liberal goons let him escape, so he can stalk your neighborhoods and murder your family in their sleep?

... but now we have word that snakes are growing hands, and some kind of unborn alien monster in Panama. These are a sign of the times, folks. The Anti-Christ is here.

And he's Kenyan."

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #23 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:59:24 AM »

Quote

Paul was committed to Eastern State Hospital after admitting he strangled and slit the throat of community activist Ruth Motley in 1987, KREM-TV reported. According to court documents obtained by KREM, Paul believed Motley was a witch and killed her in response to voices in his head.

Community activist? Did she know Barack Obama during this time, and why hasn't he denied claims that Motley might have stumbled across his birth certificate?

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #24 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:22:20 PM »

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:44:20 AM

Now, with just a month to go until Halloween, he's going to travel back to where it all began - and finish the job by murdering that woman's entire family! And anyone that gets in the way!*

* may include hot college coeds engaging in premarital sex, under aged drinking and recreational drug use.

Sounds like every county fair I've ever been to.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #25 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:24:42 PM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov on September 20, 2009, 01:22:20 PM

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:44:20 AM
Now, with just a month to go until Halloween, he's going to travel back to where it all began - and finish the job by murdering that woman's entire family! And anyone that gets in the way!*

* may include hot college coeds engaging in premarital sex, under aged drinking and recreational drug use.

Sounds like every county fair I've ever been to.

It's missing fried butter.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #26 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:33:10 PM »

Quote from: The Card Cheat on September 20, 2009, 01:24:42 PM

Quote from: Joe Molotov on September 20, 2009, 01:22:20 PM
Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:44:20 AM
Now, with just a month to go until Halloween, he's going to travel back to where it all began - and finish the job by murdering that woman's entire family! And anyone that gets in the way!*

* may include hot college coeds engaging in premarital sex, under aged drinking and recreational drug use.

Sounds like every county fair I've ever been to.

It's missing fried butter.

(Image removed from quote.)

nomnomnom

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #27 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:39:31 PM »

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:40:00 AM

DISTANTMANTRA, PROLE AND FELLOW WASHINGTONIANS, LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS TONIGHT WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP!!!

He murdered a community activist in the 80s because he thought she was a witch.

The guy apparently tried to escape before and assaulted an officer, but they decided to take him on a field trip to the county fair.

This is my next screenplay.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
... Wouldn't it be weird if she really was a witch, and everything thought he was just crazy?
[close]

He's over in Eastern Washington. Stupid Eastern Washington.

Himu · « **Reply #28 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:42:48 PM »

Why did they take a crazed schizophrenic maniac to the county fair?

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #29 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:42:59 PM »

I heard Eastern Washington is full of nuts. Is it due to the Idaho effect, something else, or am I wrong on that statement?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #30 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:44:42 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on September 20, 2009, 01:42:48 PM

Why did they take a crazed schizophrenic maniac to the county fair?

See, this is what people will say when they watch THE COTTON CANDY KILLER! $:-\$

Himu · « **Reply #31 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:48:01 PM »

This news story is absolutely hilarious.

It's actually just like the beginning of Halloween. Doctor and assistant go to lab where all the patients are contained, stupid bitch lets Myers get away with the car.

This is set up just like the beginning of a slasher thriller. Willco, make this NOW.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #32 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:49:13 PM »

When I read about this on Friday, the guy was headed back to his hometown. They figure he was going to see his parents.

Quote from: T EXP on September 20, 2009, 01:42:59 PM

I heard Eastern Washington is full of nuts. Is it due to the Idaho effect, something else, or am I wrong on that statement?

Partly that, and partly that its Eastern Washington. It isn't a large metropolitan area like Western Washington, so all the farmers and right-wing whackos live over there. Spokane is somewhat progressive, though.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #33 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:49:24 PM »

I AM WRITING IT AS WE SPEAK!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #34 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:51:57 PM »

In other freaky ManaByte flavored news, NASA explains eerie, unexplained lights that many witnessed in the Northeastern skies as an experimental rocket launch.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #35 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:52:06 PM »

The only confirmed sighting of this guy was at some store where he asked for a job application.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #36 on:** September 20, 2009, 01:53:53 PM »

He is going to become a drifter, working odd jobs in small communities until he slays an entire family and moves on.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #37 on:** September 20, 2009, 03:23:04 PM »

Quote from: Willco on September 20, 2009, 01:53:53 PM

He is going to become a drifter, working odd jobs in small communities until he slays an entire family of witches and moves on.

fixt lol

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #38 on:** September 20, 2009, 03:47:12 PM »

M3wThr33 · « **Reply #39 on:** September 20, 2009, 05:12:58 PM »

Quote from: Kestastrophe on September 20, 2009, 01:27:56 AM

(Image removed from quote.)

Mewtwo pokeman

I approve.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #40 on:** September 20, 2009, 05:26:58 PM »

More Manabyte Porn

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #41 on:** September 20, 2009, 05:49:38 PM »

That's just a half-decomposed sealion. You can't fool me!

Tauntaun · « **Reply #42 on:** September 21, 2009, 01:15:39 PM »

smh

News:

Author Topic: Watch out, this will give ManaByte a chubby! (Read 2067 times)