Amir0x makes the news

[The Fake Shemp]

FALMOUTH, Mass. —  Authorities said an angry Massachusetts teen kicked his mother in the throat, head-butted his brother and punched and bit his father after his mom took away his cell phone to punish him.

The Cape Cod Times reported that Brandon Turner pleaded not guilty in Falmouth District Court on Thursday to charges that include assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

Police said his mother took away his cell phone after he hit his 15-year-old brother Tuesday. The next day, an angry Turner attacked members of his family.

The father, a corrections officer, had to use handcuffs to subdue his 18-year-old son. Police were forced to use leg shackles to get him under control.

He was held on $1,000 bail.

It was not immediately clear if Turner has legal representation

[Flannel Boy]

Was he trying to watch South Park on his phone?

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

loller

[MyNameIsMethodis]

I don't see the words "Fat wigger" in there, how is this about Amirox?

[archie4208]

I don't see the words "Fat wigger" in there, how is this about Amirox?

Amir0x beat his mom because he wanted to watch South Park and she wouldn't let him or something like that.

[Robo]

Authorities said an angry Massachusetts teen kicked his mother in the throat, head-butted his brother and punched and bit his father after his mom took away his cell phone to punish him.

karate master 

[Dickie Dee]

kicked her in the throat

[Brehvolution]

FALMOUTH?


FALMOUTH

 

I lol'd too! 

[Dickie Dee]

FALMOUTH?


FALMOUTH

 

I lol'd too! 

I don't quite get it  (I dated someone for a few years that was from a Falmouth and didn't giggle once )

[Great Rumbler]

FALMOUTH?


FALMOUTH

 

I lol'd too! 

I don't quite get it  (I dated someone for a few years that was from a Falmouth and didn't giggle once )

Falmouth = Foul Mouth

[Brehvolution]

FALMOUTH?


FALMOUTH

 

I lol'd too! 

I don't quite get it  (I dated someone for a few years that was from a Falmouth and didn't giggle once )

Falmouth = Foul Mouth

Yup

[E-DuB]

FALMOUTH?


FALMOUTH

 

I lol'd too! 

I don't quite get it  (I dated someone for a few years that was from a Falmouth and didn't giggle once )

Falmouth = Foul Mouth

Fail Much

[Dickie Dee]

Hmmm, tenuous at best, but I'll allow it

[Don Flamenco]

bam!

[MyNameIsMethodis]

It's FALMOUTH as in pronounced VAL-MITH.

[Great Rumbler]

It's FALMOUTH as in pronounced VAL-MITH.

Nobody cares.

[Kara]

I don't see the words "Fat wigger" in there, how is this about Amirox?

Amir0x beat his mom because he wanted to watch South Park and she wouldn't let him or something like that.

Jesus how embarrassing.

[Joe Molotov]

I don't see the words "Fat wigger" in there, how is this about Amirox?

Amir0x beat his mom because he wanted to watch South Park and she wouldn't let him or something like that.

Jesus how embarrassing.

What's especially embarrassing is that he made a post about it, expecting people to sympathize with him because his mom was being a total bitch for not letting him finish watching South Park when they had guests over that didn't want to watch South Park, like his freaking life was ruined now.

[Kara]

How long ago was this? Please tell me it was like season 5 or something.

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=148456

[Joe Molotov]

That thread's still hilarious. Amir0x sticking it to Johnny Law! And walking home without shoes, wtf?

And Lupus!

[Diunx]

I still burst into laugh everytime I remember his wii video sooooooo fat

[CajoleJuice]

Can't believe that thread was two and a half years ago. Where the fuck did my life go?

[twerd]

I still burst into laugh everytime I remember his wii video sooooooo fat

RED STEEL TRAINING DOJO

[Diunx]

[MyNameIsMethodis]

Wow so Amirox, a grown obese man, hit his mother two years ago (what age is he? 27 now?) because of South Park? What a fucking idiot.

[Great Rumbler]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=148456

what's this teenaged "disrespect" shit? wtf, did i just stumble into a locker room, minus the -- i assume -- homosexual tension?

people will disrespect you every single day. when they push you to act in an equally disrespectable way, you ****in' lose. suck it down, rocky balboa. a dude worthy of respect doesn't act like a family tiff is the same as xerxes burning his village -- unless he's mainlining horse testosterone straight into his shrunken scrotum, of course.

[Joe Molotov]

I still burst into laugh everytime I remember his wii video sooooooo fat

RED STEEL TRAINING DOJO

Where is that video, did he take it down? Noooooo!

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I still burst into laugh everytime I remember his wii video sooooooo fat

RED STEEL TRAINING DOJO

Where is that video, did he take it down? Noooooo!

If he did, I think I still have it saved on one of my computers at home.  I'll check later

[Kara]

ahahahaha he was going to go away for violating a restraining order? How grade school so grade school.

[Boogie]

Prole / Drinky Crow absolutely destroys it on page 4 of that thread.

Drinky 

one day I should do up a list of what Amir0x's potential rap sheet would look like, just from the shit he's publically admitted to on GAF.

[Human Snorenado]

Prole / Drinky Crow absolutely destroys it on page 4 of that thread.

Drinky 

one day I should do up a list of what Amir0x's potential rap sheet would look like, just from the shit he's publically admitted to on GAF.

Mine wouldn't be much better... although I've never been involved with any sort of violent anything.  I could probably be nailed with fraud though, since I helped try to sell our high school as our senior prank.  We gave tours and everything.

[Boogie]

Prole / Drinky Crow absolutely destroys it on page 4 of that thread.

Drinky 

one day I should do up a list of what Amir0x's potential rap sheet would look like, just from the shit he's publically admitted to on GAF.

Mine wouldn't be much better... although I've never been involved with any sort of violent anything.  I could probably be nailed with fraud though, since I helped try to sell our high school as our senior prank.  We gave tours and everything.

You've never committed a string of home invasions, though, have you?

[Human Snorenado]

Nah, nothing as stupid as that, just done more drugs than would kill a baby rhino.

I also forgot how awesome MikeWorks was in that amirox thread:

she LIED about letting me watch the last ten minutes of an episode of South Park i'd already seen

LIED!!

and so my mother who has LUPUS swung her PURSE and hit me in my FACE! it felt like BRICKS, you know, the kind of immense force a PURSE being swung by an OLD WOMAN with LUPUS brings

and so i pinned down her crippled ass on the bed and said WHY MOTHER, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME

and then John Law entered the equation and i was all SUCK MY DICK JOHN LAW I DO NOT RESPECT YOU and they arrested me THIS IS ALL MY SISTER'S FIANCE'S FAULT, HE WATCHES NERD SHOWS, VIDEOGAME INTERNET FORUM!

so then i get taken to the hospital without my shoes and i tell them i'll put up a struggle and i get released and all of my friends are asleep so i walk like jesus down the highway and ****ing glass and fire ants and pirahna plants and those big worm things from tremors are cutting the shit out of my feet and i'm hitch hiking and the ****ing cops arrest me AGAIN and take me back to the one police station in town which is like 6 hours barefoot walk away!

so now it's 9am and i don't call my friends because, uh, yeah so anyway i get to buy hobo shoes and i walk onto a bus and make it home

GOD WHY IS MY MOTHER SO IRRATIONAL

MikeWorks

[The Fake Shemp]

A cop should actually get Amirox's actual rap sheet.

[Flannel Boy]

A cop should actually get Amirox's actual rap sheet.

Boogie isn't a real cop; he's an RCMP officer. 

[Boogie]

A cop should actually get Amirox's actual rap sheet.

Oh, on occasion, I've been tempted to do some digging and pass along info to whatever local police force would be concerned, but I guess I'm too lazy, and not convinced any action could be taken based on internet confessions, anyway.

[Boogie]

A cop should actually get Amirox's actual rap sheet.

Boogie isn't a real cop; he's an RCMP officer. 

That's like saying "so-and-so isn't a real cop, he's an FBI Special Agent." 

[Diunx]

A cop should actually get Amirox's actual rap sheet.

Oh, on occasion, I've been tempted to do some digging and pass along info to whatever local police force would be concerned, but I guess I'm too lazy, and not convinced any action could be taken based on internet confessions, anyway.

That's it them, I'm never talking about all the awesome drugs I take on this board.

[Flannel Boy]

RCMP:

FBI:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Don't arrest me. I kid

[close]

[CajoleJuice]

Mike Works is really awesome when he wants to be, that post pretty much killed me.

[Boogie]

A cop should actually get Amirox's actual rap sheet.

Oh, on occasion, I've been tempted to do some digging and pass along info to whatever local police force would be concerned, but I guess I'm too lazy, and not convinced any action could be taken based on internet confessions, anyway.

That's it them, I'm never talking about all the awesome drugs I take on this board.

So you, along with half the internet, has taken awesome drugs, big deal.*

Amir0x is a violent asshole who flies into fits of rage and beats people, and conducts home invasions to steal people's shit.  Big difference.

*Not an official stance as a police officer, just as concerns dealing with people on internet forums.

[Diunx]

Yeah but aren't like most fat nintendo fans like that? its either violent crimes or locking themselves in a hotel room until miyamoto answers their calls.

[Boogie]

RCMP: (Image removed from quote.)

FBI: (Image removed from quote.)

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Don't arrest me. I kid

[close]

I know you kid, but I must still post badass RCMP pics in response:

[Flannel Boy]

now for an unrelated video created by an unknown evilbore member:

[youtube=560,345]omhdoKR80sk[/youtube]

[Boogie]

now for an unrelated video created by an unknown evilbore member:

[youtube=560,345]omhdoKR80sk[/youtube]

Still funny

[Kara]

You've never committed a string of home invasions, though, have you?

Does it count as a B&E if the home is abandoned? I did that when I was like 7 or 8 with some friends.

I also did some UE as a teenager but I got nicked for that.

[OptimoPeach]

I still can't swallow the image of a 400lb man invading someone's home. It's not like he could fit through a window

[chronovore]

I still can't swallow the image of a 400lb man invading someone's home. It's not like he could fit through a window

Santa does it every year.

[Flannel Boy]

I still can't swallow the image of a 400lb man invading someone's home. It's not like he could fit through a window

Santa does it every year.

He uses magical elf dust.

[Kara]

I still can't swallow the image of a 400lb man invading someone's home. It's not like he could fit through a window

On the mean streets of bumfuck PA I gotta imagine locking things isn't a real high priority. Or maybe I'm just projecting suburbia onto everyone.

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

I still can't swallow the image of a 400lb man invading someone's home. It's not like he could fit through a window

Santa does it every year.

He uses magical elf dust.

ami calls it "cocaine"

[Oblivion]

I still can't swallow the image of a 400lb man invading someone's home. It's not like he could fit through a window

Santa does it every year.

He uses magical elf dust.

ami calls it "cocaine"

Or "shake and bake".

[MyNameIsMethodis]

Wow way to fuck up a cocaine fat joke.

Or "sugar".

[pilonv1]

@ this thread

[Tristam]

The best part of that thread was that amir0x expected everyone not only to sympathize with him, but to admire him as well:

So the police came. As soon as they came, my mom started talking to them and making up all this bullshit about what happened as if I went out and was attacking her. I told the police no, I'm not going to sit here with my mouth shut as she lies about what happened. They said 'sir, if you do not get quiet, I am going to handcuff you and arrest you where you stand.' I replied "You ****ing do that then, you piece of shit Pocono police. This shit is probably the highlight of your do nothing ticket-giving day anyway." That was my exact quote!

"That was my exact quote! I'm fucking awesome, ain't I?"

 

[The Fake Shemp]

"That was my exact quote! ... then I got thrown into jail and butt raped."

[Tristam]

OK one more gem and I'm done for the night.

No, she plainly lied. She said go upstairs and watch it there. I did it, begrudgingly, but it was done. Then she tells me I can't do it, my other sister has the television. That's called a lie. In my group of friends, or family, when you lie it's disrespect. There's no other word for it. I'm an adult, and they are all also adults. We're way past the age of teenage deception and immature black and white views.

 

His mom didn't even intentionally lie to him--of course if she asked him to watch TV upstairs, she wouldn't have known his other sister was watching TV there. But the most innocuous of mistakes apparently constitutes "teenage deception" and "immature black and white views."

Amir0x is so fucking distinguished mentally-challenged.  How was he not de-modded after that topic?

[Himu]

[Himu]

Boogie