Author Topic: I cut a birthmark shaving and now I'm going to die. (Read 4589 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** October 17, 2009, 06:17:45 PM »

It won't stop bleeding. I've been putting pressure on it for about twenty minutes, and I've ~~got~~ gone through two napkins pretty much.

muckhole · « **Reply #1 on:** October 17, 2009, 06:19:11 PM »

You haven't pissed off any Gypsies lately, by chance?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #2 on:** October 17, 2009, 06:19:44 PM »

No, just Hollywood moguls.

Does this mean I have AIDS?

Himu · « **Reply #3 on:** October 17, 2009, 06:20:28 PM »

This sounds terrible.

We must now debate who the bore is going to go to now that Willco is dying. I vote Demi.

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #4 on:** October 17, 2009, 06:37:36 PM »

Quote from: Himuro on October 17, 2009, 06:20:28 PM

This sounds terrible.

We must now debate who the bore is going to go to now that Willco is dying. I vote Demi.

He already owns it

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #5 on:** October 17, 2009, 07:09:51 PM »

Just once, but I was conscious.

Tieno · « **Reply #6 on:** October 17, 2009, 07:18:35 PM »

Might be a jewish thing.

demi · « **Reply #7 on:** October 17, 2009, 07:21:31 PM »

Shaving sux. Just trim it. 5 o clocks are so hot.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #8 on:** October 17, 2009, 07:57:47 PM »

Why don't you just put a band-aid on it?

M3wThr33 · « **Reply #9 on:** October 17, 2009, 08:07:45 PM »

Lack of clotting is symptom.

It's lupus.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #10 on:** October 17, 2009, 08:09:20 PM »

can i have your stuff

Bocsius · « **Reply #11 on:** October 17, 2009, 08:45:15 PM »

Quote from: M3wThr33 on October 17, 2009, 08:07:45 PM

Lack of clotting is symptom.

It's lupus.

It's never lupus.

Himu · « **Reply #12 on:** October 17, 2009, 08:46:28 PM »

omg willco's not replying. He's dead?!

Beezy · « **Reply #13 on:** October 17, 2009, 08:59:24 PM »

Damn homie... can I have your 360 games and accessories? You already have my address.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:02:03 PM »

We are ignoring the REAL issue here.

WHO GETS ALL OF HIS JEW GOLD

Beezy · « **Reply #15 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:03:02 PM »

Jew gold? Pass. Mo money, mo problems.

lennedsay · « **Reply #16 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:03:29 PM »

So.... where was this birthmark again?

demi · « **Reply #17 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:14:41 PM »

i want his fleshsack body so i can just kind of lie on it and roll around

lennedsay · « **Reply #18 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:17:28 PM »

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #19 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:27:57 PM »

i already called his stuff! stop clogging up the thread while we await confirmation of his death.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #20 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:31:24 PM »

It's stopped, after two napkins and two band aids.

Moral of the story is that birthmarks are stupid.

lennedsay · « **Reply #21 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:32:12 PM »

Go on....

pilonv1 · « **Reply #22 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:37:04 PM »

This happened to me one time. I've shaved once in two years since.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #23 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:38:27 PM »

Quote from: lennedsay on October 17, 2009, 09:32:12 PM

Go on....

Nothing else to say. My nose is sore as hell (I cut a birthmark on my left nostril), and I'll probably be wearing a band-aid on my nose like a dummy for a day. First time I ever pulled off this feat.

I was just surprised at the amount of blood that came out.

Crushed · « **Reply #24 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:40:21 PM »

Uh-oh, that was your Jew spot. Now that you've cut it off, the lack of hebrewgens will cause your body to revert into that of a gentile.

Quote from: Willco on October 17, 2009, 09:31:24 PM

It's stopped, after two napkins and two band aids.

Moral of the story is that birthmarks are stupid.

Oh good, crisis averted. But look out, if there's any permanent damage then the bioscanners at the World Bank won't recognize you.

Quote from: Willco on October 17, 2009, 09:38:27 PM

Quote from: lennedsay on October 17, 2009, 09:32:12 PM
Go on....

Nothing else to say. My nose is sore as hell (I cut a birthmark on my left nostril), and I'll probably be wearing a band-aid on my nose like a dummy for a day. First time I ever pulled off this feat.

I was just surprised at the amount of blood that came out.

okay now you're just making this too easy

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #25 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:41:59 PM »

Oh no, I have a sudden urge to watch Glenn Beck and shop at Wal-Mart!

Beezy · « **Reply #26 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:42:22 PM »

hebrewgens

brawndolicious · « **Reply #27 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:49:52 PM »

Do you shave with a straight razor? How do you cut your nose?

E-DuB · « **Reply #28 on:** October 18, 2009, 12:25:23 AM »

Quote from: demi on October 17, 2009, 09:14:41 PM

i want his fleshsack body so i can just kind of lie on it and roll around

Wait

Diunx · « **Reply #29 on:** October 18, 2009, 03:34:55 AM »

You shave your nose?

chronovore · « **Reply #30 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:27:37 AM »

Quote from: Diunx on October 18, 2009, 03:34:55 AM

You shave your nose?

This. You're not one of those gross outs with hair growing out the end of your nose, are you? If so, pluck, don't shave.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #31 on:** October 18, 2009, 12:06:59 PM »

No, I nicked it by accident when trying to get the corners my mustache (with the other end of the razor).

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #32 on:** October 18, 2009, 04:13:48 PM »

It was gushing out of the side of his face at dinner lat night, like Old Faithful on its period.

Real talk.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #33 on:** October 18, 2009, 04:59:00 PM »

I'm so happy I don't have any prominent birth marks where I shave

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #34 on:** October 18, 2009, 05:10:00 PM »

Willco severed off his passport to Yahweh

E-DuB · « **Reply #35 on:** October 19, 2009, 01:53:48 AM »

Quote from: Borys on October 18, 2009, 05:20:16 PM

Imagine shaving as this man:

(Image removed from quote.)

I think I'd be more concerned about eating and breathing

Diunx · « **Reply #36 on:** October 19, 2009, 02:16:25 AM »

You gotta shave to look good for the ladies, man.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #37 on:** October 19, 2009, 02:19:05 AM »

I shaved because Disposable White Guy and his girlfriend came over for dinner.

drew · « **Reply #38 on:** October 19, 2009, 02:30:25 AM »

ban borys for not spoilering that

oh and use some salt next time

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Author Topic: I cut a birthmark shaving and now I'm going to die. (Read 4589 times)