Tomorrow, I start driving school. True story.

[The Fake Shemp]

My final step to having a full-fledged license.

[BlackMage]

lol seriously dude

[The Fake Shemp]

Yep. :'(

[brawndolicious]

wow didn't you live in the bay area?

[Great Rumbler]

Duuuuuude.

[Phoenix Dark]

Why did you wait until you were no longer able to fit in the front seat of a car?

[The Fake Shemp]

wow didn't you live in the bay area?

And Los Angeles and D.C. and New Jersey for a brief moment in time.

[Barry Egan]

Why did you wait until you were no longer able to fit in the front seat of a car?

so he didn't have to pay for an airbag. 

[Robo]

How the hell do you live in MoCo without a car?  The public transit system isn't THAT good.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I've never driven either.  I live in Portland though.  Cars are so last century anyway.

[The Fake Shemp]

How the hell do you live in MoCo without a car?  The public transit system isn't THAT good.

Ride-On + Metro got me every where I needed to go. The Metrobus line is also pretty great. I've never had any problems.

[Joe Molotov]

[The Fake Shemp]

I've never driven either.  I live in Portland though.  Cars are so last century anyway.

My lack of license has been due in part to living in areas with decent mass transit and a total fear of driving.

[Akala]

You got that.

[Human Snorenado]

I've never driven either.  I live in Portland though.  Cars are so last century anyway.

My lack of license has been due in part to living in areas with decent mass transit and a total fear of driving.

Wait... so you've like... NEVER driven?  What are you, some gigantic vagina or something?

[The Fake Shemp]

I have driven, and I've had my learner's permit for a bit, but my experience behind the wheel is negligible. My family and friends have had some bad experience with car accidents, and it's made me incredibly anxious behind the wheel. I even have nightmares about it.

I've lost one friend to a car accident, my stepmom lost a pregnancy while I was in a car accident with her and my father, my family was involved in a fatal car accident, one of my best friends lost his leg and was in a hospital for months from a car accident (I was there every other day practically), both my father and I have permanent back problems from a car accident, etc.

Cars pretty much scare me.

[Cormacaroni]

This isn't going to end well, is it Willco.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I just have no interest in learning to drive, especially since I don't have the money to buy a car and if I did there would be a ton of things I'd rather spend it on than a car.  Actually that goes for the time it takes to learn too.  I don't have the time and if someone could somehow magically grant me the time, learning to drive would be about the 10,000th priority.  There are so many other things I'm more interested in learning.

[The Fake Shemp]

This isn't going to end well, is it Willco.

I hope I can break the cycle of accidents! ... but I've had nightmares where I have woken up in a panic attack after imagining myself behind the wheel in an accident.

[Human Snorenado]

The important thing to remember is that when you're driving, focus on, you know, DRIVING.  Keep distractions to a minimum and always assume that everyone else is barely coordinated/smart enough to start a car much less drive one and you'll be safe.  I also don't hardly ever speed more than five or so miles above the speed limit- all of my friends say I drive like an old woman but I've never gotten a ticket and other than some idiot in a black car with black tinted windows and no lights on pulling in front of me at four in the morning back in college, have never been in an accident.  Now, my various cars have had crappy luck and like to get hit by drunk people WHILE THEY'RE PARKED but that's not the end of the world- more like a big annoyance.

[The Fake Shemp]

So no fellatio while driving? There goes one of the primary motivators!

[Cormacaroni]

So no fellatio while driving? There goes one of the primary motivators!

Yeah, it's tough to see with your face buried in someone's crotch so I usually wait 'til I get home. YMMV.

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Akala]

So no fellatio while driving? There goes one of the primary motivators!

Yeah, it's tough to see with your face buried in someone's crotch so I usually wait 'til I get home. YMMV.

[Tieno]

I only just got my driver's license last year willco, don't feel ashamed, you're not a total loser.

[Robo]

So no fellatio while driving? There goes one of the primary motivators!

Yeah, it's tough to see with your face buried in someone's crotch so I usually wait 'til I get home. YMMV.

 

[Diunx]

Once you learn how to drive in a third world country American and euro streets look like a joke.

[brawndolicious]

you don't actually need to go to driving school unless you want to learn manual or get a feel for the road again, which is probably actually a good idea if you haven't driven much and have so much fear of cars.  Since you had your learner's permit for probably well over 6 months, you could just take the test now if you wanted.

Once you learn how to drive in a third world country American and euro streets look like a joke.

Fucking truth bomb here.  People ATTACK you with their vehicles in Iran.  And a lot of them are on motorcycles.

[cool breeze]

always assume that everyone else is barely coordinated/smart enough to start a car much less drive one and you'll be safe. 

This is most true.  The average person driving doesn't know how to drive.  I see some moves people make and think about the Bill Hicks bit about killing an asshole instead of a good person.  The other day I saw someone cross four lanes without stopping or signaling; it's hard to convince myself not to ram him off the road.  These people seem to lack the basic understanding or how the lights work.  The fuck reason is there for someone to just sit at a green light and not move. 

[The Fake Shemp]

you don't actually need to go to driving school unless you want to learn manual or get a feel for the road again, which is probably actually a good idea if you haven't driven much and have so much fear of cars.  Since you had your learner's permit for probably well over 6 months, you could just take the test now if you wanted.

Once you learn how to drive in a third world country American and euro streets look like a joke.

Fucking truth bomb here.  People ATTACK you with their vehicles in Iran.  And a lot of them are on motorcycles.

You do have to attend a driving school to get a license in the state of Maryland. Certification is required.

[TEEEPO]

i'd be fearful too if i had to drive in maryland.

[EmCeeGrammar]

I haven't driven in years and have a driver's licence, what are were you using as ID?

[The Fake Shemp]

I haven't driven in years and have a driver's licence, what are were you using as ID?

State ID.

One time I lost my state ID and passport, and was still able to fly freely in an airport. I even wrote about it.

[tiesto]

i'd be fearful too if i had to drive in maryland.

Totally agreed with you, some of the worst drivers in the country, and I've been to Jersey plenty of times.

[Disposable White Guy]

How the hell do you live in MoCo without a car?  The public transit system isn't THAT good.

Disposable White Guy would transport me for road head; got me every where I needed to go. My brother is also pretty great. I've never had any problems. 

fixt

[lennedsay]

Good job man!

My sister had an accident 16 years ago and still has brain damage from it. She was in a coma for months, in ICU, had to learn how to walk, talk and eat again, etc. My family (primarily my mom and I) were in rear-ended several times within a short time frame when I was only 3 years old, which completely fucked up my spine. I've lost more people than I'd like to count in accidents over the years. And since I've personally been driving, every time someone has hit me, they didn't have insurance.

I used to be really scared to drive, but expect that people will drive like morons and predict their idiotic moves and you'll be fine! 

[pollo]

This isn't going to end well, is it Willco.

This going to end in some tragic shit, like Wilco running over Spiderman or something.

[BlueTsunami]

Usually it takes a single accident to put the fear of the Personal Automobile Gods in ya' (then you feel the most comfortable).

[The Fake Shemp]

The earliest I'm eligible for an actual license in the state of Maryland is 2012.

They changed the laws last month, and despite holding my learner's for almost six months, I cannot even apply for a provisional license until March. Then I have to wait 18 months after that for a full-fledged license. Any moving violations during that time period will result in the provisional license restarted for another 18 months.

Got to love this state.

[Human Snorenado]

Jesus Christ, what a socialist nightmare.  Here in NC all you have to do is have $30 and pass a couple of tests.  Oh, and get insurance.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think Maryland has some of the harshest driving regulations in the country for rookie drivers. And as a native resident, I can't really recall a reason why. The state has its share of bad drivers, but nothing approaching Los Angeles or Boston.

I will likely get my provisional license, and see if that'll transfer to California. I'm looking into buying a house out there sometime in 2011.

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

That's cool willco, I had similar experiences with driving and didn't really care about getting a license until two years ago.

Right now I only have a learner's license and I live in SoCal, which has probably THE worst public transport system in all of the US. Thank God work is just a quick bus ride away and I can carpool or w/e on the weekends.

[Veidt]

Taking driving lessons too. I figure I'll be driving within the next 2 months.

[Robo]

The earliest I'm eligible for an actual license in the state of Maryland is 2012.

They changed the laws last month, and despite holding my learner's for almost six months, I cannot even apply for a provisional license until March. Then I have to wait 18 months after that for a full-fledged license. Any moving violations during that time period will result in the provisional license restarted for another 18 months.

Got to love this state.

That sounds unnecessary for someone who's a bit older, but anything that makes it more difficult for a teenager to drive can't be a bad thing.

[The Fake Shemp]

Those are rules because I'm older. It's pretty much impossible to get your license until after you are 18 now in Maryland.

[Himu]

Just drive without a license. 

I dunno about this.

[Himu]

You mean all this time I've been getting called out on my movie and music taste by a guy who can't even drive? Someone who has no idea what it feels like to sit behind the wheel of a car with Zeppelin blasting? Someone who has never driven a date to a movie theater? I wish I had known this earlier.

What does this have to do with your movie and music taste? You act like not being able to drive is as worse as being a virgin.

Maybe it is?!!?!

[The Fake Shemp]

Just think, I'm so badass that I got my dates to drive me to the movies and still get laid. What does that say about Green Shinobi?

[The Fake Shemp]

What does this have to do with your movie and music taste? You act like not being able to drive is as worse as being a virgin.

Maybe it is?!!?!

A lot. A big part of the music experience is listening while you drive. A lot of music only makes sense this way. I would never listen to Whitesnake, for example, while sitting at home with itunes open, but when it comes on a classic rock station while you're driving 90 with the windows down, it could be the best thing in the world. And a big part of the movie experience is, you know, driving to the theater, maybe hot-boxing the car in the parking lot before the movie starts, as well as talking about the movie while you're driving back. If you can't do this, I don't think you can really form a complete opinion about a lot of things.

This is worse than you claiming Entourage deserved to be in the Top 30.

I am tearing up here.

[Joe Molotov]

I love to drive, on the open highway anyway. It sucks when you're in traffic, but when the road is wide open and you're just cruising, it rocks. Watching the road roll past starts to get hypnotic, and I feel like I'm meditating. The car is my zen chamber. 

[Diunx]

What does this have to do with your movie and music taste? You act like not being able to drive is as worse as being a virgin.

Maybe it is?!!?!

A lot. A big part of the music experience is listening while you drive. A lot of music only makes sense this way. I would never listen to Whitesnake, for example, while sitting at home with itunes open, but when it comes on a classic rock station while you're driving 90 with the windows down, it could be the best thing in the world. And a big part of the movie experience is, you know, driving to the theater, maybe hot-boxing the car in the parking lot before the movie starts, as well as talking about the movie while you're driving back. If you can't do this, I don't think you can really form a complete opinion about a lot of things.

holy shit

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, he's got to be kidding.

[Reb]

im coming to bust nuts on all yall

[Himu]

What does this have to do with your movie and music taste? You act like not being able to drive is as worse as being a virgin.

Maybe it is?!!?!

A lot. A big part of the music experience is listening while you drive. A lot of music only makes sense this way. I would never listen to Whitesnake, for example, while sitting at home with itunes open, but when it comes on a classic rock station while you're driving 90 with the windows down, it could be the best thing in the world. And a big part of the movie experience is, you know, driving to the theater, maybe hot-boxing the car in the parking lot before the movie starts, as well as talking about the movie while you're driving back. If you can't do this, I don't think you can really form a complete opinion about a lot of things.

Are you fucking kidding me?

[Human Snorenado]

Just drive without a license. 

I dunno about this.

Himu, it's not like Federman's BLACK or anything.   

[The Fake Shemp]

Think of all the awful opinions that Roger Ebert has formed without properly hot-boxing his car before seeing a film! How can John Madden properly coach a team without flying in an airplane and listening to John Denver as cool air is funneled into his face from a vent above his head? Or how can one truly appreciate the intricacies Moby Dick without riding on a whaling vessel and listening to "Hypnotize" by The Notorious B.I.G.?

The world wants to know.

[Himu]

[The Fake Shemp]

GS has a good point although he is steeping in typical hyperbole.  Take Willco's Paranormal Activity group watching thing as an example.  Some things are better when done i other ways.

Not really. If Whitesnake was designed to be listened through car speakers on FM radio while driving a motor vehicle, that would make sense. If Coppola had intended his audience to drive to the matinee, hot-box their cars and then watch The Godfather, that would make sense.

Paranormal Activity isn't a better movie watched any which way, and almost all the criticisms levied are valid, it's just that it's propped up by an experience. Now if the argument is that hot-boxing a car before watching a film makes the act of watching film itself better, I can't necessarily argue against that.

It doesn't make it any better or worse, though.

[The Fake Shemp]

And don't say a word, Disposable White Guy.

[Disposable White Guy]

Hey now, I've driven Willco to plenty of flicks, and I still trust his opinion on a lot of them.

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