Avatar: Willco still hates it

[Great Rumbler]

The King of the World sets his sights on creating another world entirely in Avatar, and it's very much a place worth visiting.

The screen is alive with more action and the soundtrack pops with more robust music than any dozen sci-fi shoot-'em-ups you care to mention.

It’s a world, not to give too much away, that Cameron clearly fully intends to return to and further explore. When he does, our bags are already packed.

Avatar is an overwhelming, immersive spectacle. The state-of-the-art 3D technology draws us in, but it is the vivid weirdness of Cameron’s luridly imagined tropical otherworld that keeps us fascinated.

You care about the CG characters. It tugs the heart. It makes you shout. And it is an overwhelming feast of visual artistry unlike anything you have ever seen before.

Game-changing - yes. Spectacular - absolutely. Occasional dodgy dialogue and dramatic imperfections - of course. But still - wait for it… - a titanic achievement.

An epic film born entirely of Cameron’s imagination, Avatar uses tailor-made technology to create the most astonishing visual effects yet seen on screen and blends them seamlessly into a mythical sci-fi story.

There are myriad moments of beauty and of poignancy. And the final battle is worth the price of your 3D glasses alone.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/avatar/

James Cameron
Furry-bait movies

[The Fake Shemp]

Not a single reputable critic quoted. Tsk, tsk.

It's early, I guess. I gather it'll take a few days for some of the top critics to compose themselves and give us the straight talk: Avatar sucks furry balls.

[Phoenix Dark]

Avatar over/under: I'm setting it at $300 million (domestically)

I'm saying under

[The Fake Shemp]

That's a safe beat. Unless this thing is actually mind blowing, I think it'll drop off quickly. Especially since Sherlock Holmes comes out on Christmas.

[Great Rumbler]

Not a single reputable critic quoted.

Hollywood Reporter and Variety are certified "Rotten Tomatoes Top Critics", Willco.

Also, apparently Simon Pegg thought it was "extraordinary" according to his Twitter page.

[demi]

Meh, beat the game. Wasn't that interesting.

[The Fake Shemp]

Not a single reputable critic quoted.

Hollywood Reporter and Variety are certified "Rotten Tomatoes Top Critics", Willco.

They're industry rags. Nobody ever takes them seriously.

Even the reviews on there that praise it talk about the visuals and that screenplay sucks donkey balls.

[Barry Egan]

It's baggy and longwinded.  Basically sucks donkey balls!

My money's on this guy!

[The Fake Shemp]

I imagine most of the mainstream reviews will read:

"A visual spectacle for the ages that manages to overcome some poor dialogue, a clunky script and a film that drags in spots. But - hey! - it looks pretty. Right?"

[Great Rumbler]

I imagine most of the mainstream reviews will read:

"A visual spectacle for the ages that manages to overcome some poor dialogue, a clunky script and a film that drags in spots. But - hey! - it looks pretty. Right?"

So you're saying it'll be better than Transformers?

[Mr. Gundam]

In 2 weeks it will hover around 75% on RT. Then it will go even lower.

Name me 1 reputable movie critic that would admit to liking a furry movie.

Lots of critics liked Fantastic Mr. Fox. Kenneth Turran, Roger Ebert, etc.

I'm still not interested in seeing Avatar.

[The Fake Shemp]

I imagine most of the mainstream reviews will read:

"A visual spectacle for the ages that manages to overcome some poor dialogue, a clunky script and a film that drags in spots. But - hey! - it looks pretty. Right?"

So you're saying it'll be better than Transformers?

I'm saying it'll be the SAME. Maybe worse, since robots are better than furries.

[Great Rumbler]

I imagine most of the mainstream reviews will read:

"A visual spectacle for the ages that manages to overcome some poor dialogue, a clunky script and a film that drags in spots. But - hey! - it looks pretty. Right?"

So you're saying it'll be better than Transformers?

I'm saying it'll be the SAME. Maybe worse, since robots are better than furries.

From the early reviews, Avatar sounds like it won't have a lot of the problems that made Transformers such a chore to watch. Like dodgy camera work, incomprehensible action scenes, loads of extraneous scenes and plot threads that never really went anywhere, and some laughable acting.

And, here's another for the bonfire:

The film is gorgeous, the relationships are effective, you actually feel for these collections of pixels and polygons, and I left the theater energized and entertained in a manner in which rarely happens. What you will get from Avatar resides in how much of a sense of wonder you still carry to the movie theater with you. If you are willing to fall prey to the magical escapism of movies and love the idea that true science fiction and true pulp adventure is not alive and kicking in the theatrical world, you like me, will eat this film up.

If not, I'm sorry for you. This is what The Phantom Menace should have been. It's proof that all that buzz about Sam Worthington is legit. It's proof that the only downside to Avatar is how it allowed us to forget what a powerhouse James Cameron is.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Paid reviews.

I still can't even fathom this being anything less than terrible.

[Human Snorenado]

That's a safe beat. Unless this thing is actually mind blowing, I think it'll drop off quickly. Especially since Sherlock Holmes comes out on Christmas.

Avatar is easily going to outgross Holmes.  EASILY.  I'll be surprised if Holmes does more than 175 million domestically. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

<---Wants Ritchie's shitty Holmes to fail

[close]

[ManaByte]

Avatar over/under: I'm setting it at $300 million (domestically)

I'm saying under

If it doesn't do 500 million it'll be considered a bomb.

[Beezy]

People care about the Sherlock Holmes movie? That's news to me.

[Solo]

I'm saying it'll be the SAME. Maybe worse, since robots are better than furries.

ITT Willco dropping James Cameron to the level of Michael Bay 

People care about the Sherlock Holmes movie? That's news to me.

They shouldn't.

[The Fake Shemp]

Sherlock Holmes looks better than Avatar. Hell, New Moon might be better.

[Draft]

The film is gorgeous, the relationships are effective, you actually feel for these collections of pixels and polygons, and I left the theater energized and entertained in a manner in which rarely happens. What you will get from Avatar resides in how much of a sense of wonder you still carry to the movie theater with you. If you are willing to fall prey to the magical escapism of movies and love the idea that true science fiction and true pulp adventure is not alive and kicking in the theatrical world, you like me, will eat this film up.

If not, I'm sorry for you. This is what The Phantom Menace should have been. It's proof that all that buzz about Sam Worthington is legit. It's proof that the only downside to Avatar is how it allowed us to forget what a powerhouse James Cameron is.

I like when praise is comprised of passive aggressive damage control.

[Purple Filth]

People are defending Avatar? why

[Beezy]

looks good man

[Solo]

Sherlock Holmes looks better than Avatar. Hell, New Moon might be better.

  I dont know what it is about this movie that inspires such ridiculous trolling. Did Cameron steal from you guys or something?

[Phoenix Dark]

I may be a professional hater and hyperbole connoisseur...but even I couldn't say Holmes looks better than Avatar. Holmes looks like it has no redeeming or interesting qualities. At least Avatar is gonna be purdy

Dunno if I can see Holmes out-grossing Avatar domestically either.

[Ganhyun]

I may be a professional hater and hyperbole connoisseur...but even I couldn't say Holmes looks better than Avatar. Holmes looks like it has no redeeming or interesting qualities. At least Avatar is gonna be purdy

Dunno if I can see Holmes out-grossing Avatar domestically either.

Holmes has Downey Jr.

so those who liked Iron Man will flock to see him in this most likely.

[The Fake Shemp]

When did I ever say Holmes would outgross Avatar? I was merely saying it will cut into its box-office take, which it will.

Mostly because Avatar sucks.

[Human Snorenado]

When did I ever say Holmes would outgross Avatar? I was merely saying it will cut into its box-office take, which it will.

Mostly because Avatar sucks.

Whatever, your opinion is moot after all the Transformers defense squading you've done.

[Solo]

Holmes looks terrible. I think Ive hit my saturation point of RDJ. A real shame because I really love the guy in Wonder Boys and KKBB. Then youve got Jude Law, who always sucks, and its a Guy Ritchie movie which couldnt be a more bizarre choice to direct this. Only redeeming thing is Rachel McAdams.

I expect 2 hours of RDJ chewing scenery and getting homoerotic glances from Law.

[The Fake Shemp]

Whatever, your opinion is moot after all the Transformers defense squading you've done.

You like furries?

... Holmes looks like a mediocre blockbuster-type film. Studio is obviously confident in it. It will be better than Pocahantas in Space starring that dude from terminator salvation.

[Ganhyun]

When did I ever say Holmes would outgross Avatar? I was merely saying it will cut into its box-office take, which it will.

Mostly because Avatar sucks.

Whatever, your opinion is moot after all the Transformers defense squading you've done.

He just fits in with all the others who liked Transformers.

Which apparently, was most of America besides critics and people on Internet message boards.

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Ganhyun]

Only redeeming thing is Rachel McAdams.

Rachel McAdams

[The Fake Shemp]

He just fits in with all the others who liked Transformers.

Which apparently, was most of America besides critics and people on Internet message boards.

I think this was more insulting than what Triumph said!

... and to be fair, I have called Transformers mediocre, propped up by my personal preference for robots and light pop-cinema that doesn't take itself seriously. The sequel, by all accounts, is pretty lousy.

[Phoenix Dark]

When did I ever say Holmes would outgross Avatar? I was merely saying it will cut into its box-office take, which it will.

Mostly because Avatar sucks.

Never said you did. I was just thinking about the competition between these two big flicks. I agree Holmes will cut into Avatar. Plus it actually has stars in it, whereas Avatar is relying heavily on its director's filmography and the superduperamazingworldchanging special effects

[Human Snorenado]

Whatever, your opinion is moot after all the Transformers defense squading you've done.

You like furries?

furries = jive talkin' robots

just sayin

[ManaByte]

Downloading the soundtrack now. Will listen to it to see how many cues from Willow and Titanic that Horner reuses.

[Ganhyun]

Not trying to insult you Willco.  

[The Fake Shemp]

Whatever, your opinion is moot after all the Transformers defense squading you've done.

You like furries?

furries = jive talkin' robots

just sayin

That was the sequel, which I already said sucked!

[Ganhyun]

Whatever, your opinion is moot after all the Transformers defense squading you've done.

You like furries?

furries = jive talkin' robots

just sayin

Damn. Just go ahead and put it out there

[The Fake Shemp]

Hey, if Triumph is comparing Avatar to Transformers 2, I totally agree.

[Solo]

Feder will see this movie opening weekend, enjoy it, then post here about how much he hated it. I can already foresee this 

[Great Rumbler]

I'll take furries over peeing robots, but that's just me.

[Ganhyun]

Feder will see this movie opening weekend, enjoy it, then post here about how much he hated it. I can already foresee this 

[The Fake Shemp]

I don't pay to see movies anymore, and I've always talked straight about my opinion. Remember when I said Star Trek would be a massive trainwreck and that no one could hold a candle to the original cast?  Well, I got proven wrong.*

spoiler (click to show/hide)

* movie still kind of sucked, though.

[close]

At any rate, I'm not going to see Avatar. I don't have a screener coming and I don't have a pass, and I don't think my family or friends have any interest in seeing it over the holidays.

I'll take furries over peeing robots, but that's just me.

I would agree, if an actual movie was comprised out of urinating robots. Actually, that might make the film better. Sadly, ten seconds of a robot pissing oil on John Turturro is a lot more bearable than hours of James Cameron reenacting a Disney film with furries in space.

[Solo]

I don't pay to see movies anymore.

Piracy 4 life!

[The Fake Shemp]

I don't pirate either. I either get passes for early screenings, free screenings, films in advance from studios, etc. I would not pirate an industry I'm trying to make a living in, that's just morally wrong. That said, I think the last ticket I paid for was maybe Drag Me to Hell.

If I truly want to see something that I cannot watch for free, I make sure it's something I want to financially support. My slate is too busy this month to hand James Cameron my money for his hobby project.

[Solo]

I was joking. We all know you're a Hollywood fat cat now. I look forward to you shilling your first movie at GAF like Gary Whitta. Hopefully you arent so pathetic about it.

[The Fake Shemp]

Dude, I would never do that. I constantly rag on my own work, and I am pretty upfront that I believe I'm a hack. If a feature of mine is ever released, and it sucked, I would hope you guys call me out on it.

[The Fake Shemp]

(that said, i can never trash talk whitta in public for fear of meeting him in real-life)

[Great Rumbler]

(that said, i can never trash talk whitta in public for fear of meeting him in real-life)

One of these days Whitta will be your boss on some movie project. He'll call you into his office, offer you a drink, and then sit behind his desk holding a glass of Pinot Noir with a half smirk on his face. He knows and you know that he knows. "Will," he'll say, "Let's let bygones be bygones, okay? We're both professionals here." And you'll nod your head, because that's all you can do.

[Human Snorenado]

Real Talk- I think Avatar is gonna be a pretty enjoyable action flick when all is said and done. 

[Robo]

It's about that time where I act like I have always been supportive of this project.

[Yeti]

I think I'll wait until it comes out dvd.

[Brehvolution]

Will rent on na'vi blue ray

[Cravis]

All those quotes from reviewers I've never heard of reminded me of HotD Overkill...

A street corner prosititute says, "It's mother-fucking good."

[drew]

I don't pay to see movies anymore

you gave me shit for pirating slumdog millionaire

what you do is virtually the dame effect wise

hypocrisy is awesome

[recursivelyenumerable]

Blockbuster movies are pretty un-Web 2.0

[Great Rumbler]

The only thing that could stop the Avatar hype train now is if Armond White comes out and says that it's awesome. That would pretty much just kill it dead.

[TakingBackSunday]

I still think this looks stupid.

[The Fake Shemp]

you gave me shit for pirating slumdog millionaire

what you do is virtually the dame effect wise

hypocrisy is awesome

How is stealing from creators the same as legally viewing creators' material as a byproduct of working in the industry? My job depends on viewing this material, yours doesn't.