Yes, when I was a teenager.
Yeah, but you've always held that you have no regrets about your past actions and that you wouldn't change anything about your life.
And, the law notwithstanding, let's not pretend that you magically became a totally different person once you hit 18. C'mon man.
I'm an adult with a cushy government job and a past filled with various mistakes. This is supposed to insult me? My e-reputation noooo! 
OMG, you actually admitted to "mistakes" in your life! This is certainly a first! Stop the presses!
No denying that I've been in a few bar fights! Most of them are not my fault though
Nobody who's ever been arrested or charged for "a few bar fights" ever admits that it's been their fault. I mean, c'mon, do you expect to be taken seriously with that statement?!
"It's not my fault, officer
spoiler (click to show/hide)
you fucking pig
, I swear!"
Know how many bar fights I've been in?
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ZERO! Imagine-fucking-that! And yet, somehow, I have a reputation as a fair, yet balanced, badass. They're not hard to avoid. Et toi?
And, of course, saying that "most" of them are not your fault, implies that "some" of them are your fault. So if we go by your admission that you get into fights/brawls on a monthly basis, and that "some" of them are you fault, we still end up with several such fights/brawls which you are culpable for.
Heh well you can find the pics on GAF. I've posted them in a few threads.
Oh, I would rarely resort to ze fat jokes. After all, obesity has nothing to do with you incessant criminality.
That being said, I'm sure whatever weight loss regimen you claim pales in comparison to the sexy Will Federman.
edit: and, of course, you didn't address the impaired driving bit.
