Author Topic: The Dumbest White Boy in 100 Miles: A Secret Santa Expedition (Read 1655 times)

Billy Rygar · « **on:** December 23, 2009, 06:25:08 PM »

So my secret santa recipient (GilloD) says he wants a present that he "can tell a story about!" (his exclamation point). So after mulling this over for a time I decided to take a field trip.

(All pictures taken with the iPhone app "ShakeIt," for maximum Willco annoyance.
To the Oakland Coliseum Swap Meet. Now if you're familiar with the Bay Area at all you know that the coliseum is located in a neighborhood that might be considered "bad" or "a shithole."

The swapmeet itself is Tokyo's famed Akihabara district, but instead of electronics and games, there are piles of stolen garbage to root around in (the picture that shows up on google maps for the coliseum is NSFW, but amazing in it's explanational brevity: http://maps.google.com/maps/place?hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:*:IE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7GGIE_en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=coliseum+swap+meet&fb=1&gl=us&hq=coliseum+swap+meet&hnear=San+Jose,+CA&cid=7815808498033335626). if there was a place to get a 'Bore present, this is it (that last part is a lie).

Now it must be said that this experiment isn't advised. As the sole white person not homeless at the swap meet I stood out a little bit, but this wasn't a problem. What was a problem was the pictures I was taking of various stalls. Taking a picture of miniature chairs for Baby Jesus is one thing, taking pictures of dudes selling stolen electronics is quite another.

So after a bit of yelling and almost getting beaten, I decided to get some real shopping done and get the fuck out of there.

So what did I buy for GilloD?
Was it a broken Dreamcast?

A Rush Cassette tape to keep him comapny when he wakes up fearing fan death?

A VHS tape of Jodie Foster's Contact to impress his ne Korean friends?

A Batmobile for crimefighting?

Jeans to make his ass look plumper?

We shall see...

Akala · « **Reply #1 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:36:32 PM »

a velvet painting.

no wait. maybe an opened container of medical supplies?

Akala · « **Reply #2 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:40:56 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on December 23, 2009, 06:39:59 PM

There was only one of those things I could have bought there, and it wasn't the painting. $:-\$

figures.

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #3 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:42:13 PM »

This started out good, but then you pussied out like a bitch.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

DELETE THE PICTURES OF MY BOOTH MOTHERFUCKER OR IMA SKIN YOU ALIVE AND MAKE YOU WEAR BITCH PANTS

[close]

Powerslave · « **Reply #4 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:45:08 PM »

too long didnt

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #5 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:48:51 PM »

Quote from: Powerslave on December 23, 2009, 06:45:08 PM

too long didnt

Oh hey Powerslave, usually we just write "tl;dr," you don't actually have to write out the full words. Also, you forgot "read," but it's cool. You're probably just excited to post again, totally understandable my man

tehjaybo · « **Reply #6 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:55:49 PM »

So, how do we find out the outcome? WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE POAST? :'(

demi · « **Reply #7 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:57:16 PM »

you couldnt have just bought him a $10 videogame instead?

tehjaybo · « **Reply #8 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:57:50 PM »

You're gonna need to PM me what it is I think my heart might explode because of the anticip

twerd · « **Reply #9 on:** December 23, 2009, 06:59:14 PM »

what the rez on those iphone photos? they look pretty damn good, at least compressed.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #10 on:** December 23, 2009, 08:49:27 PM »

Wow, that place looks more scary than KY flea markets.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #11 on:** December 23, 2009, 08:58:40 PM »

Quote from: dcharlie on December 23, 2009, 06:44:11 PM

wow, this is awesome. I want to know the outcome!

Genghis became someone's bitch.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #12 on:** December 23, 2009, 09:02:50 PM »

That place sounds awesome.

T234 · « **Reply #13 on:** December 23, 2009, 09:52:42 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on December 23, 2009, 08:53:01 PM

Quote from: Bloodwake on December 23, 2009, 08:49:27 PM
Wow, that place looks more scary than KY flea markets.
You think a flea market in downtown OAKLAND would be less scary

*clears throat* http://www.wave3.com/Global/story.asp?s=3687302&clienttype=printable

spoiler (click to show/hide)

$:-\$

[close]

Diunx · « **Reply #14 on:** December 23, 2009, 11:13:16 PM »

As someone who frequents a third world country flea market, I find this story only mildly interesting.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #15 on:** December 23, 2009, 11:29:37 PM »

Quote from: Diunx on December 23, 2009, 11:13:16 PM

As someone who frequents a third world country flea market, I find this story only mildly interesting.

I've been to some junky flea markets before, but none that I felt afraid for my life at.

muckhole · « **Reply #16 on:** December 23, 2009, 11:34:53 PM »

I hope you found some slightly used peanut butter to send him!

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #17 on:** December 24, 2009, 07:12:33 AM »

You brave soul.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #18 on:** December 24, 2009, 09:56:12 AM »

This was pretty great.

GilloD · « **Reply #19 on:** December 24, 2009, 10:23:51 AM »

! Genghis Cohen. I should have been more faithful! Hopefully it's a pistol used to commit a senseless murder!

GilloD · « **Reply #20 on:** December 24, 2009, 10:26:45 AM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on December 23, 2009, 06:56:33 PM

Quote from: tehjaybo on December 23, 2009, 06:55:49 PM
So, how do we find out the outcome? WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE POAST? :'(
POAST

Yes, it needs to get to Korea. I also need to send a real present, because honestly.

Nah, yo! Junk is great! I love this stuff. Seriously, as long as it has some kind of history, I'm always pleased. I'm totally easy to shop for. I feel like things that have some kind of history around them are like weird little talismans. This is the effect of Benjamin Walter, re: Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction, speifically the passages about "aura" of genuine objects.

T234 · « **Reply #21 on:** December 24, 2009, 10:10:30 PM »

Hopefully you liked the candy and Ale8s I sent you last year!

GilloD · « **Reply #22 on:** December 24, 2009, 10:23:14 PM »

Quote from: T234 on December 24, 2009, 10:10:30 PM

Hopefully you liked the candy and Ale8s I sent you last year!

That is exactly what I modeled my wishes on for this year. Ale8 is like a super regional speciality. I kept the bottles, tee hee.

tehjaybo · « **Reply #23 on:** December 24, 2009, 10:28:23 PM »

Quote from: GilloD on December 24, 2009, 10:23:14 PM

Quote from: T234 on December 24, 2009, 10:10:30 PM
Hopefully you liked the candy and Ale8s I sent you last year!

That is exactly what I modeled my wishes on for this year. Ale8 is like a super regional speciality. I kept the bottles, tee hee.

I thought about sending some Ale8 with mine, but I just didn't. I have failed my recipient.

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Author Topic: The Dumbest White Boy in 100 Miles: A Secret Santa Expedition (Read 1655 times)