Pages: [1]

Author Topic: I'm too young for this shit.  (Read 1387 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

EmCeeGrammar

  • Casted Flamebait lvl. 3
  • Senior Member
I'm too young for this shit.
« on: January 01, 2010, 10:26:18 AM »
So, I got my first hemorrhoid last night.  It feels almost like I have a teeny weeny tail coming out of my anoose.  Any quick fixes, or am I going to have to get this thing cauterised?
Logged
sad

Akala

  • Easy Victor
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2010, 10:30:28 AM »
that sucks emcee. do you think you got it the same way kosma did?
Logged

Cormacaroni

  • Poster of the Forever
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2010, 10:31:36 AM »
Got my first at 19, when my lifestyle made Tom Waits look like a Mormon. Cut down on the salty food and booze for a bit, don't sit on anything cold, wash the crap out of your love tunnel, and most importantly of all, get some Preparation H or whatever and use it!

I'm happy to say that Japanese toilets pretty much saved my life in this respect tho :)
Logged
vjj

EmCeeGrammar

  • Casted Flamebait lvl. 3
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2010, 10:35:07 AM »
Quote from: Akala on January 01, 2010, 10:30:28 AM
that sucks emcee. do you think you got it the same way kosma did?

What kosma is saying makes no sense to me. From what I understand you get such things from having a lousy diet or having hard shits. 
Logged
sad

Akala

  • Easy Victor
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2010, 10:57:32 AM »
kosma found a way bro
Logged

Ganhyun

  • Used to worship Muckhole. Now worships Robo.
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2010, 11:00:03 AM »
Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on January 01, 2010, 10:51:50 AM
She humped me right into the toilet man

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
Logged
XDF

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2010, 11:01:58 AM »


Life, uh, will find a way.
Logged
PSP

muckhole

  • AMBASSADOR
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2010, 01:21:08 PM »
Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on January 01, 2010, 10:51:50 AM
She humped me right into the toilet man

 :lol This may have to be my new tag.
Logged
fek

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2010, 01:36:21 PM »
You may not have been aware that hemorrhoids were an STD, but if Kosma says it true, I believe him.
Logged
©@©™

Diunx

  • Humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2010, 01:49:22 PM »
Logged
Drunk

Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2010, 03:52:07 PM »
Kosma is my hero. :heart
Logged
obo

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2010, 05:48:57 PM »
Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on January 01, 2010, 10:51:50 AM
She humped me right into the toilet man

:lol kosma starts off 2010 proper! :lol
Logged
duc

AdmiralViscen

  • Murdered in the digital realm
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2010, 07:58:36 PM »
This thread is incredible
Logged

Flannel Boy

  • classic millennial sex pickle
  • Icon
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2010, 08:32:46 PM »
Quote from: Professor Prole on January 01, 2010, 05:48:57 PM
Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on January 01, 2010, 10:51:50 AM
She humped me right into the toilet man

:lol kosma starts off 2010 in the pooper! :lol

fixed
Logged

BlueTsunami

  • The Muffin Man
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2010, 08:38:42 PM »
Quote from: The Business on January 01, 2010, 04:12:50 PM
I recommend getting them lanced.  It's the only quick fix and there's no sense dealing with something uncomfortable if you don't have to.

Last time I read about getting something lanced was in a sci-fi book about the bubonic plague :yuck . Emcee has the Brown Death.
Logged
:9

Barry Egan

  • The neurotic is nailed to the cross of his fiction.
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #15 on: January 01, 2010, 08:54:09 PM »
aww growing a teeny tiny tail out of your pooper. Cyoote :teehee Leave it to Emcee to find the whimsy in hemorrhoid growth.
Logged

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #16 on: January 01, 2010, 11:21:09 PM »
Whimsy :lol
Logged
©@©™

drew

  • sy
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #17 on: January 01, 2010, 11:27:52 PM »
just how in the hell do you get a hemhorroroid anyway?
Logged

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2010, 11:33:30 PM »
Straining too hard on the turlet.
Logged
©@©™

EmCeeGrammar

  • Casted Flamebait lvl. 3
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #19 on: January 02, 2010, 06:19:23 AM »
Quote from: Joe Molotov® EDGE™ on January 01, 2010, 11:33:30 PM
Straining too hard on the turlet.

Really though, I try to enjoy my dumps.  I'm guessing I just go too much because I eat a lot.  I remember the subject came up and people were saying they take a dump every two days or some crazy shit.
Logged
sad

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #20 on: January 02, 2010, 06:56:34 AM »
 :lol  great thread
Logged

OptimoPeach

  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2010, 07:02:38 AM »
Happy New Year lol

Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on January 01, 2010, 10:51:50 AM
She humped me right into the toilet man
Omg :rofl
Logged
hi5

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: I'm too young for this shit.
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2010, 11:37:54 PM »
Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on January 02, 2010, 06:19:23 AM
Quote from: Joe Molotov® EDGE™ on January 01, 2010, 11:33:30 PM
Straining too hard on the turlet.

Really though, I try to enjoy my dumps.  I'm guessing I just go too much because I eat a lot.  I remember the subject came up and people were saying they take a dump every two days or some crazy shit.

Check the wiki; there are a number of causes listed, and some suggestions for relief. Many of them are pretty simple.

Also, you may need on of these:
http://www.toilet-related-ailments.com/order.html
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I keed. I keed. I live in Asia but I can't use these fuckers without substantial pants acrobatics.
[close]
Logged
Pages: [1]