Author Topic: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times (Read 1704 times)

ManaByte · « **on:** January 07, 2010, 06:44:55 PM »

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ

Quote

Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #1 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:46:15 PM »

Sounds like he has more balls than you

drew · « **Reply #2 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:46:37 PM »

ice cold

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #3 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:47:35 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 07, 2010, 06:46:15 PM

Sounds like he has more balls than you

Ouch

Barry Egan · « **Reply #4 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:49:34 PM »

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #5 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:50:09 PM »

holy fucking shit pee dee with the ether

Ichirou · « **Reply #6 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:50:41 PM »

Did Manabyte consider suicide when he saw how bad The Princess and the Frog was?

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #7 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:51:52 PM »

first entry in the 2010 annihilation awards

brawndolicious · « **Reply #8 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:52:15 PM »

I'm probably not the only one who thinks that stabbing YOURSELF 9 times is more impressive than getting shot 9 times. It's another case of the white man stealing from the blacks and doing it better.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #9 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:54:23 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 07, 2010, 06:51:52 PM

first entry in the 2010 annihilation awards

speaking of annihilation, I just watched Artie Lange's appearance on the Joe Buck show . Wow. Then I saw the 10 minute "internet broadcast" that immediately followed. WOW. Joe Buck nearly burst in to tears.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #10 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:55:20 PM »

Quote from: My F*cking Grandpa on January 07, 2010, 06:54:23 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on January 07, 2010, 06:51:52 PM
first entry in the 2010 annihilation awards

speaking of annihilation, I just watched Artie Lang's appearance on the Joe Buck show . Wow. Then I saw the 10 minute "internet broadcast" that immediately followed. WOW. Joe Buck nearly burst in to tears.

yes, that shit was fucking amazing

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #11 on:** January 07, 2010, 06:58:55 PM »

Quote from: am nintenho on January 07, 2010, 06:52:15 PM

I'm probably not the only one who thinks that stabbing YOURSELF 9 times is more impressive than getting shot 9 times. It's another case of the white man stealing from the blacks and doing it better.

Imagine shooting yourself nine times!

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #12 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:00:03 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 07, 2010, 06:46:15 PM

Sounds like he has more balls than you

smh

Crushed · « **Reply #13 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:01:44 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 07, 2010, 06:46:15 PM

Sounds like he has more balls than you

brawndolicious · « **Reply #14 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:08:08 PM »

Quote from: Вiff Кoммiёslaуer on January 07, 2010, 06:58:55 PM

Quote from: am nintenho on January 07, 2010, 06:52:15 PM
I'm probably not the only one who thinks that stabbing YOURSELF 9 times is more impressive than getting shot 9 times. It's another case of the white man stealing from the blacks and doing it better.
Imagine shooting yourself nine times!

all the fat probably saved this man's life because the knife wouldn't be able to reach his vital organs but most people wouldn't have the balls to keep stabbing themselves after the first couple nicks. He gets an A for effort.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #15 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:11:25 PM »

You don't have to hit organs to kill yourself, hell all you gotta do is nick a major artery or vein and you'll bleed out pretty quick. Since Artie is a known junkie you gotta think he'd know which veins to go after, so this is almost surely one of those cry for help suicide attempts.

Robo · « **Reply #16 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:15:28 PM »

That is demi caliber annihilation. Well done.

Ichirou · « **Reply #17 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:18:37 PM »

He only really stabbed himself 3 times, the other 6 were "hesitation wounds." What a pussy.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #18 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:34:27 PM »

/golfclap PD

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #19 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:36:10 PM »

Æthered.

demi · « **Reply #20 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:44:08 PM »

Artie didnt actually die and he only stabbed himself 3 times. I dont consider this annihilation, sorry.

Ichirou · « **Reply #21 on:** January 07, 2010, 07:50:31 PM »

Annihilation revoked. Manabyte is safe.

For now.

Powerslave · « **Reply #22 on:** January 07, 2010, 08:33:43 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 07, 2010, 06:46:15 PM

Sounds like he has more balls than you

Wow dude that seriously isn't funny. Don't be so fucking pathetic to make a joke like that to get a few quick laughs.

AdmiralViscen · « **Reply #23 on:** January 07, 2010, 10:36:27 PM »

Well, I lol'd

Diunx · « **Reply #24 on:** January 07, 2010, 10:45:08 PM »

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #25 on:** January 07, 2010, 10:47:51 PM »

Quote from: Powerslave on January 07, 2010, 08:33:43 PM

Wow dude that seriously isn't funny. Don't be so fucking pathetic to make a joke like that to get a few quick laughs.

The weak picking on the weaker.

demi · « **Reply #26 on:** January 07, 2010, 10:50:45 PM »

Quote from: Ichirou on January 07, 2010, 07:50:31 PM

Annihilation revoked. Manabyte is safe.

For now.

Stabbing yourself is pretty manly though.

Raban · « **Reply #27 on:** January 08, 2010, 12:11:25 AM »

Fucking COLD.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #28 on:** January 08, 2010, 12:17:40 AM »

:tbslol

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #29 on:** January 08, 2010, 12:24:06 AM »

Man, PD totally had to have had the

face when he posted that. There's no other face that could accompany such a post.

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #30 on:** January 08, 2010, 06:30:52 AM »

oh shit

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Author Topic: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times (Read 1704 times)