I've done research into the subject and there seems to be two seperate species in the Hebrew Genus. Israeli Commando Jew, and Neurotic New York Woody Allen Screen Writer Jew. The question I pose is what causes the Jewish people to lose their fighting spirit once you've uprooted them from their natural habitat of Israel and placed them whithin the vicinity of say... Long Island, Brooklyn, or Florida.
To find the answer we have to look at the theories posed by Charles Darwin. The theory that organisms must change in to adapt to their habitat if they are to have any chance of survival. To get started we should look at the two different typical habitats where one might find a Jew. Israel for example is a desert. Clean air, lot's of sunshine, a society with a unique culture that's lasted thousands of years. So what is it about this area that causes the Super Elite Commando Jew to be the dominant species? One theory is simply this: The Earths Yellow Sun.
That's right. There's something within the Jews own unique DNA that causes their dormant super powers to rise to the surface when exposed to Earths yellow sun over their homeland in Israel.
New York on the other hand is filled with smog, polution. The skyscrapers block out the light of the sun. This causes a decrease in physical strength and hand eye coordination and an increase in mental capacity. The Hebhagellian Glands activate causing stereotypical "Jewy" like behavior anyone who's been to New York, Florida, or Hollywood would definately be aware of.
There is still much research to be done but we are making progress and this is a very exciting territory we continue to uncover and I hope you support us by writing your congressmen asking to provide us with funding. I'll keep you guys updated.
