Monopoly redesign SUCKS

[GilloD]

http://www.csmonitor.com/Innovation/Horizons/2010/0205/Monopoly-gets-radical-redesign-goodbye-paper-money#



Holy shit. So ugly. SO pointless. Highlights:

First, the world is round. As your imaginary real-estate mogul learns the ups and downs of capitalism, you'll romp around a ring-shaped board. Hasbro ditched the four-corners look for a pizza-like circle. The stops on this journey are the same, but each location now comes as a radial wedge. Houses and hotels basically match older versions, but the game replaced its pewter character pieces with plastic tokens. Farewell, little doggy, shoe, and top hat.

Second, no more paper bills. Monopoly's trademark funny money has gone digital. A computer banker sits in the center of the "Revolution" board. Players spread the money around by using novelty debit cards. Good news for parents: No more picking up colored bills all over the house. Bad news for older siblings: No more sneaking extra cash under the table. Some special editions of Monopoly already come with faux ATMs – it's only a matter of time before kids figure out new ways to "game" the system.

Third, inflation hit Monopoly-ville. As you pass Go, you do not collect $200. Instead, you earn $2 million. Hasbro says all of the prices have been jacked up to better represent today's financial market.

Finally, the sound of money. As in good movies, music will punctuate the action. Clips of pop songs, such as Rihanna’s "Umbrella," Daniel Powter’s "Bad Day," and Beyonce's "Crazy in Love," will ring out during the game.


WHAT THE FUCK.

[Madrun Badrun]

$2 million for passing go? 

[Barry Egan]

the only really objectionable addition is the pop songs.  It will date the game so quickly.  But perhaps that's the point.

[Madrun Badrun]

$2 million for passing go? 

corporate bonus edition

lol

[Eel O'Brian]

who plays monopoly

[Madrun Badrun]

Children.  Who will now have to be able to count in the millions.

[Eel O'Brian]

it's the most boring board game in the world

[Madrun Badrun]

I loved it as a kid.  No one else ever wanted to play though.  This is probably why i have no friends.

[Eel O'Brian]

activities more fun than monopoly:

sleeping

coma

staring blankly

sighing

yawning

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

More like BORED game amirite?

[Ichirou]

Monopoly's fun, it's just that each game drags on for way too long.

[The Fake Shemp]

Dane Cook's bit about Monopoly is the only bit of his that I like, and it's so damn accurate.

[border]

I played Monopoly for the first time in years last fall and it dawned on me what a horribly designed game it was.  It takes forever to accumulate properties, and even then they're useless unless you have a monopoly on a particular color.  Most of the time nobody gets a monopoly, so it's always a bunch of bullshit backdoor trading that gives someone the upper hand.  You basically sit around waiting for one sucker to fail out that he'll give you his properties for a song......and since his properties are of no value to people that don't also have properties of the same color he has no ability to command a high price.  So it's basically a matter of getting lucky and hoping that someone who has your preferred color fucks up.  That plus someone always lucks out with free parking or the Community Chest cards.

They have introduced a "speed version" where one side of the dice is a special symbol that allows you to advance to the nearest purchasable property or railroad.  I gotta imagine that makes it much more fun.

Dane Cook's bit about Monopoly is the only bit of his that I like, and it's so damn accurate.

You were so poor growing up that you had to iron your clothes with the iron gamepiece? 

[The Fake Shemp]

PARTIALLY TRUE.

[Powerslave]

GAF 2

[border]

Aside from the music garbage, I think the redesign sounds really good -- particularly if it is going to include a speed dice.

Ew why does border have Dane Cook bits memorized?

It's not that hard to search "Dane Cook monopoly" on YouTube.

[Diunx]

Why would I want to play monopoly if I can't steal from the bank? 

[border]

Someone still has to be a banker.....unless the ATM has a digital voice synthesizer that speaks out the amount being credited or debited to a card, I'm sure it'll still be possible to steal money (at least if you're the banker).

[Mandark]

Barely anyone plays by the official rules, where an unowned property is auctioned if someone lands on it and declines to buy it at face value.  Makes for a better game that way, eye em oh.

[border]

At the highest level of play, I don't think anyone is going to decline purchasing anything.  Even if you don't build a monopoly, properties are invaluable trading tools -- there's no reason not to buy everything you can.  You have to be a little smart about it, but I'd say the general rule is that you want at least one property from all the non-ghetto areas.

Like most card games though, I suppose Monopoly is more fun when not everyone is playing at the highest level.

[pilonv1]

still sounds better than the movie

[Flannel Boy]

Dane Cook's bit about Monopoly is the only bit of his that I like, and it's so damn accurate.

Because of you, I searched for Dane Cook on youtube. Hope you're happy.

[brawndolicious]

You guys don't know how to play.  You have to know where monopolies are being formed and make deals every turn (my friends and I made the rule that you can't do any deals if the dice aren't in your hands) and learn how to truly fuck over somebody every other turn.  It's a game all about deception and back-stabbing.

At the highest level of play, I don't think anyone is going to decline purchasing anything.  Even if you don't build a monopoly, properties are invaluable trading tools -- there's no reason not to buy everything you can.  You have to be a little smart about it, but I'd say the general rule is that you want at least one property from all the non-ghetto areas.
Like most card games though, I suppose Monopoly is more fun when not everyone is playing at the highest level.

I'd have to disagree with the bold.  The two purple properties in the beginning are the best properties to have since it's so cheap to build hotels on them (my friends and I affectionately refer to them as the cockroach hotels).  The instant anybody gets enough extra cash to stay in the game, you take it right out of their hands.

[Joe Molotov]

still sounds better than the movie

Maybe you haven't read William S. Federwang's Monopoly treatment yet?

[pilonv1]

still sounds better than the movie

Maybe you haven't read William S. Federwang's Monopoly treatment yet?

No that movie sounds awesome. I mean the other one.

[Bildi]

the only really objectionable addition is the pop songs.  It will date the game so quickly.  But perhaps that's the point.

Yeah, maybe they're hoping to update the songs in a few years and sell it to the same people again.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I forgot how much I wanted this game.  I heard it was out of print but it looks like Amazon has it new for $95

[border]

The other thing I hate about the game is that there's always someone so obsessed with Boardwalk/Park Place that they'll completely sell the farm just to complete the monopoly on those two spaces.  Whoever ends up selling to them almost always winds up with the better end of the deal, getting a ton of cash and completing at least one or two 3-space monopolies.  The person with Boardwalk/Park Place ends up so broke that they can't do shit, and the person who sold it to them builds a shit-ton of houses and hotels that creates a 10-13 space area of the board where any bad roll can bankrupt you.

I'd have to disagree with the bold.  The two purple properties in the beginning are the best properties to have since it's so cheap to build hotels on them (my friends and I affectionately refer to them as the cockroach hotels).  The instant anybody gets enough extra cash to stay in the game, you take it right out of their hands.

Baltic and Mediterranean seem like a good deal, but at the same time it feels like nobody ever lands on them.  There are so many ways that people can get ported to the "GO" space, and once they are they it's almost mathematically impossible for them to hit either space (they can't roll a 1, they have to roll a 3).

[Tauntaun]