Early consensus on Wolfman: Meh.

[Great Rumbler]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1194949-wolfman/

Not so much howlingly bad as it is disappointingly lifeless.

The Wolfman ends up a disappointment, then, somewhat interesting in places, but nothing to howl about.

In any event, The Wolfman makes a satisfactory date movie for Valentine's Day, which is more than can be said for Valentine's Day.

There's more emotion in the monster's howls, which were created by a baritone opera singer, than in Del Toro's monotone mutterings.

Johnston sacrifices originality for computer graphics and stop-motion camera tricks, and the script, by Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self, bulges with real howlers: “I didn’t know you hunted monsters.” “Sometimes monsters hunt you!”

The Wolfman constitutes a pleasant surprise, if "pleasant" can be used to describe a brooding $100 million-plus diversion with this many beheadings and eviscerations.

Congratulations Universal - you made Van Helsing 2.

 

[Cravis]

Figures. A delay and rumblings of Johnston and Universal working on their own cuts of the film. There seemed to be quite a bit of turmoil behind the scenes.

[Mupepe]

Gene Simmons donated his vocals to create the howl too.

I don't care.  I'll be seeing it.  Should be at least entertaining.

[Robo]

Congratulations Universal - you made Van Helsing 2.

   sick burn

[Mupepe]

Ebert liked it despite some flaws.  I can generally agree with Ebert on most shit, so I'll probably like it.

29% though

[Tauntaun]

   Aww man, I was looking forward to seeing this.  Thanks though, now I won't waste mah monay on it. 

[AdmiralViscen]

Never looked goodl.

[Great Rumbler]

Congratulations Universal - you made Van Helsing 2.

   sick burn

Yeah, that one really stuck out when I was looking over the reviews.

[Eric P]

that's unfortunate

i guess it's time for some Paul Naschy werewolf films instead

[Diunx]

Will download, I hope this guy does a better job with Captain America.

[Mupepe]

Joe Johnston?  He's the dude that made JP3, right?  That set off alarm bells when I heard about Wolfman.  I'm going to defend this movie til the end.  Even if it is a stinker.  I'm going to be Wolfman's Green Shinobi.

[The Fake Shemp]

It will probably still be better than Avatar, and I'll go see sometime next week.

[Green Shinobi]

Joe Johnston?  He's the dude that made JP3, right?  That set off alarm bells when I heard about Wolfman.  I'm going to defend this movie til the end.  Even if it is a stinker.  I'm going to be Wolfman's Green Shinobi.

Defending a Best Picture nominated film against a bunch of contrarians on a bizarro message board is a lot different from defending a piece of shit horror film that's getting slaughtered by reviewers.

But I hope you go down fighting like I did.

[ManaByte]

This is what happens when you fuck Rick Baker in the ass.

[ManaByte]

Joe Johnston?  He's the dude that made JP3, right?  That set off alarm bells when I heard about Wolfman.  I'm going to defend this movie til the end.  Even if it is a stinker.  I'm going to be Wolfman's Green Shinobi.

He also directed this:
[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

[Eel O'Brian]

if nothing else, this movie has resulted in some awesomely quotable review lines

Benicio del Toro, quite possibly the least likely person ever to go by the name “Larry”

 

[Great Rumbler]

Joe Johnston?  He's the dude that made JP3, right?  That set off alarm bells when I heard about Wolfman.  I'm going to defend this movie til the end.  Even if it is a stinker.  I'm going to be Wolfman's Green Shinobi.

He also directed this:
[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

He also directed Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Jumanji, and October Sky.

[ManaByte]

And JP3 wasn't horrible. It was basically the same as JP1 and 2, except they removed all of the moral debate that Spielberg bogged the first two down with. So you were left with 90 minutes of Dinosaurs chasing and eating humans, which is why you go see a Jurassic Park movie.

Although I would kill for someone to make a four-hour-plus LOTR EE style word for word adaptation of the first book.

[Great Rumbler]

JPIII is not a good movie. Now, it's probably better than Lost World, but the first Jurassic Park blows both of the sequels out of the water.

[Eel O'Brian]

the JP novel is really mean-spirited in places, would have been nice to see some of that in the movie

[ManaByte]

the JP novel is really mean-spirited in places, would have been nice to see some of that in the movie

It was better in every way than the movie. The movie lacked the sense of wonder that there were in parts of the book. The book also built up the mystery of the island much better. If you had three hours or so to work with, the movie could have done that.

[Eel O'Brian]

also everyone's kind of an asshole, especially richard attenborough's character, and the ingen company is involved in all sorts of shady shit like creating genetically manipulated pets

[Green Shinobi]

And JP3 wasn't horrible. It was basically the same as JP1 and 2, except they removed all of the moral debate that Spielberg bogged the first two down with. So you were left with 90 minutes of Dinosaurs chasing and eating humans, which is why you go see a Jurassic Park movie.

Although I would kill for someone to make a four-hour-plus LOTR EE style word for word adaptation of the first book.

Except the story was worse, and the pacing was worse, and the acting was worse, and JP3 Sam Neill was a massive downgrade from JP1 Sam Neill, and the musical cues weren't as good, and none of the action scenes were nearly as memorable, and it wasn't half as suspenseful, and the raptor scenes fucking sucked, and the T-Rex was fucking gimped beyond belief, and the good scenes that should have gone on longer (pterodactyl attack) were way too short, and there wasn't a single scene in the entire thing that was worthy to lick the ballsweat of the Brachiosaurus reveal from JP1, but you're right, aside from those things it was exactly the fucking same.

[The Fake Shemp]

also everyone's kind of an asshole, especially richard attenborough's character, and the ingen company is involved in all sorts of shady shit like creating genetically manipulated pets

The novel was awesome, and Jeff Goldblum's character died at the end.

[muckhole]

One of the things that really killed my hype for this flick was the amount of footage showing the monster in the trailers, along with clips of the transformation. I would have rather they'd left that stuff for the film itself to reveal. But then I'm old and cranky.

[Green Shinobi]

I can't remember a single scene from JP3 aside from the pterodactyl shit.

On the other hand, the raptors in the kitchen, and the T-Rex attacking the jeep (one of the greatest action scenes of all fucking time, holy shit this scene might be Spielberg's crowning achievement, fuck E.T.), and the T-Rex owning the two raptors at the end, and the dilophosaurus owning Newman in JP1 fucking stuck with me for years.

Hell, even The Lost World had some memorable scenes, such as when the T-Rex almost pushed the trailer off the cliff, and when the two T-Rexes were chasing the whole group of humans.

[ManaByte]

One of the things that really killed my hype for this flick was the amount of footage showing the monster in the trailers, along with clips of the transformation. I would have rather they'd left that stuff for the film itself to reveal. But then I'm old and cranky.

They went with a CG transformation too. Rick Baker spent a ton of his own money developing a practical transformation and the suits went "LOL thanks...ok we're going with CG".

[Mupepe]

And JP3 wasn't horrible. It was basically the same as JP1 and 2, except they removed all of the moral debate that Spielberg bogged the first two down with. So you were left with 90 minutes of Dinosaurs chasing and eating humans, which is why you go see a Jurassic Park movie.

Although I would kill for someone to make a four-hour-plus LOTR EE style word for word adaptation of the first book.

Except the story was worse, and the pacing was worse, and the acting was worse, and JP3 Sam Neill was a massive downgrade from JP1 Sam Neill, and the musical cues weren't as good, and none of the action scenes were nearly as memorable, and it wasn't half as suspenseful, and the raptor scenes fucking sucked, and the T-Rex was fucking gimped beyond belief, and the good scenes that should have gone on longer (pterodactyl attack) were way too short, and there wasn't a single scene in the entire thing that was worthy to lick the ballsweat of the Brachiosaurus reveal from JP1, but you're right, aside from those things it was exactly the fucking same.

I can't remember a single scene from JP3 aside from the pterodactyl shit.

On the other hand, the raptors in the kitchen, and the T-Rex attacking the jeep (one of the greatest action scenes of all fucking time, holy shit this scene might be Spielberg's crowning achievement, fuck E.T.), and the T-Rex owning the two raptors at the end, and the dilophosaurus owning Newman in JP1 fucking stuck with me for years.

Hell, even The Lost World had some memorable scenes, such as when the T-Rex almost pushed the trailer off the cliff, and when the two T-Rexes were chasing the whole group of humans.

GS

JP 3 is a fucking abomination.

[border]

Hell, even The Lost World had some memorable scenes, such as when the T-Rex almost pushed the trailer off the cliff, and when the two T-Rexes were chasing the whole group of humans.

The scene where the kid owns those raptors with gymnastics is perhaps the greatest 2 minutes in cinema.....not even rivaled until many years later when Milla Jovovich was jump-kicking zombie dogs in Resident Evil.

[Mupepe]

Goddamn, I hate that scene so much.  Maybe because that girl looks like my sister when she was younger and she's just as obnoxious as my sister and FUCK

I wish that fucking raptor ate her.

"You told me to come."
"What?"
"You said don't listen to me"

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU LITTLE BITCH?  STAY ON THE FUCKING ISLAND AND GET EATEN YOU DUMB CUNT.  DUMB DUMB. 

[The Fake Shemp]

nom nom nom

[BobFromPikeCreek]

Most memorable part of JP2.

[Mupepe]

I cannot stop laughing at that! 

[BobFromPikeCreek]

My friend made it this morning, and I had to post it somewhere. This was oddly appropriate. We've been laughing at that part for years.

[Mupepe]

Vince finishes really early and Jeff just keeps pounding away and has an angry orgasm.  Towards the end, you can tell Vince is getting sensitive.  Like when a girl (guy?) keeps sucking after you cum and you just can't handle it. 

What a great gif.

[BobFromPikeCreek]

I like how calmly Vince handles Jeff's raw power. A true bottom if I ever saw one.

[Mupepe]

Yep.  He looks like he's holding on for dear life, but he's not going to let that ruin Jeff's enjoyment.  He likes it rough and he knows how to handle it.

[Tauntaun]

LIFE WILL FIND A WAY!

[Green Shinobi]

The scene where the kid owns those raptors with gymnastics is perhaps the greatest 2 minutes in cinema...

There's hyperbole, and then there's complete and utter mental distinguished mentally-challenged.

[Ichirou]

Getting tired of defending Joe Johnson when the only worthwhile thing he's done was The Rocketeer.




























But The Rocketeer was AWESOME, dammit.

[Moran]

When I first saw the trailer for this on tv I thought it was for one of those dodgy scifi channel movies.

[Phoenix Dark]

And JP3 wasn't horrible. It was basically the same as JP1 and 2, except they removed all of the moral debate that Spielberg bogged the first two down with. So you were left with 90 minutes of Dinosaurs chasing and eating humans, which is why you go see a Jurassic Park movie.

you can't be serious

[ManaByte]

But The Rocketeer was AWESOME, dammit.

Best box office bomb ever. They were even planning two sequels before it bombed.

[Joe Molotov]

I think I'm going to stay at home and watch American Werewolf in London instead.

[The Fake Shemp]

Disposable White Guy and I saw it this evening. It's not a bad film, just a mediocre one. The worst part is how many things it totally nails, but how abrupt and poorly edited the film is. There are chunks of the film missing. And I seriously mean that. During one sequence, it literally cuts away in the middle of the score. Like Universal didn't even bother to edit that. It's so bizarre.

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, I really think so. I think this film needs whatever was left on the cutting room inserted back into the film.

Save for the worst CGI bear I have seen in quite some time, the art direction and special effects were pretty solid (good mix of practical makeup and CG). It was a really violent film too, but they really kept the look of the classic Wolfman.

The dialogue and acting were solid across the board. There was some scenery chewing, but nothing out of line with the film. The problem is that it moves at this abrupt, ludicrous and awkward speed - with characters speaking to the audience as if we were privy to an hour of the film that we were never shown. So there's absolutely no character development whatsoever, and the emotional stuff is non-existent when it should be hitting its stride.

I am pretty sure it was about 90 minutes, but it felt like a cut cobbled together with someone with ADD. It's just frustrating to know that this could have been a pretty awesome popcorn flick, but now the end result is a beautiful looking picture that absolutely nails some cinematography but the effort is ultimately wasted.

[Great Rumbler]

I am pretty sure it was about 90 minutes, but it felt like a cut cobbled together with someone with ADD.

According to IMDB it was 102 minutes.

[The Fake Shemp]

I'm pretty sure that's with credits. The actual movie itself couldn't have been much longer than 90 minutes - which was way too short with the character arcs they were trying to attempt.

[ManaByte]

Well the rumor is that Universal forced a bunch of cuts right up to the last minute.

[ManaByte]

I think Universal did this on purpose for multiple DVDs:

Shitty PG13 cut they almost released.
R rated cut in theaters.
Unrated with the removed footage.

[The Fake Shemp]

I swore I remember reading that they shot a bunch of pickups, but I really could only count one scene that felt like it was unnecessarily trumped up (it occurs when he escapes in London).* Otherwise, a bunch of stuff got dumped. I mean, the sequence where he is an asylum is just a few minutes!

* Some old-school fans might have a problem with how graphic this film is.

[The Fake Shemp]

No, but he does eat and/or kill quite a few!

The entire asylum segment would have been really cool, had it not be like, five minutes long.

[Disposable White Guy]

On its own, it was a decent popcorn flick and enjoyable in that sense, but like Willco said it's simply edited in such a manner as to imply that there was a ton of plot that didn't make it into this theatrical cut.  It's a real shame too, because all of the romantic tones from the original are simply lost in this version; it's like Gwen only loves Lawrence because the movie wants her to rather than any real substantial feeling.

What also shocked me is that this is the first time I've ever seen Benicio Del Toro not acting like LATINO BRAD PITT and half-mumbling all of his lines.  What little plot development there was in the movie was all very well represented.

Still, it just boils down to The Abridged Dracula:  Now With More Wolves.

[Mupepe]

It was entertaining.  Some parts were action packed, short as a baby's dick.  Then other parts went on for longer than the movie called for and nothing happened.  Character development did not exist.  Gwen only has a few minutes of real dialogue with Lawrence at most and she's somehow in love with this dude. 

Oh well, the action was good. 

[The Fake Shemp]

Some of the shots of the Wolfman, in all his glory, were pretty awesome. It's unfortunate that the film doesn't resonate emotionally whatsoever.

[Mupepe]

yeah, i'd still recommend it at least as a rental or matinee.  Reading further up in this thread I found that there are supposedly multiple cuts to come or something?  I could dig that. 

[The Fake Shemp]

It was a pretty problematic production, some stuff got reshot and there was bickering over multiple edits. I'm guess there is a ton of unused footage if we go by the theatrical cut.

[Eric P]

E-Letter Of Note of the Day: An honest-to-goodness e-mail sent to George “El Guapo” Roush of Latino Review by Team Jacob twihard Kayla Patterson, who, for some reason or another, thought she was complaining about Joe Johnston’s The Wolfman to a person with pull at Universal Pictures.

Killing a werewolf with a silver bullet? That’s some straight up blasphemy right there.

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Mupepe]

holy fucking crap