Author Topic: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever (Read 13089 times)

Mupepe · « **Reply #60 on:** March 04, 2010, 11:09:17 AM »

This guy sounds like he'd be a douche to hang out with in real life.

"ughhhhhhh, this has beef extract in it. Let's go"
"QUIT BEING SO NICE TO ME"
"EVERYONE IS SMOKING I'M GOING TO DIE"

he sounds like he'd be a fucking drama queen.

Robo · « **Reply #61 on:** March 04, 2010, 11:18:19 AM »

Man, you guys gotta read this. The twist in Chapter 9 is fuckin' killer.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #62 on:** March 04, 2010, 11:19:55 AM »

Just sounds like the dude is getting a reality check.

Japan is for crazy ass people.

Trent Dole · « **Reply #63 on:** March 04, 2010, 12:38:31 PM »

Tim needs a punch in the face.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #64 on:** March 04, 2010, 01:29:10 PM »

Quote from: a slime appears on March 04, 2010, 10:49:18 AM

I met him at a Kotaku party once. He acted like he was the most important man there. We sat down and had a couple of drinks while he spoke at length about how important he was within Sony and how Kutaragi knows him personally (protip: it was all a lie). I never found out if this was some kind of hilarious in-joke to him or he actually tried to purposely lie about himself to impress some stranger he just met.

I got that schpiel, too. Was there a perverse focus on the new VAIO they had carted into his office that was so huge it could barely fit? Cause he kept returning to that point, time and again.

Also, special for dcharlie: "THIS EGG! SHE GAVE ME ... THIS EGG!"

Diunx · « **Reply #65 on:** March 04, 2010, 03:28:40 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 10:09:50 AM

I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.

He is right about that.

Dragon Ball Z

one shit

Himu · « **Reply #66 on:** March 04, 2010, 03:33:05 PM »

Quote from: Diunx on March 04, 2010, 03:28:40 PM

Quote from: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 10:09:50 AM
I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.

He is right about that.

Dragon Ball Z

one shit

ugh

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #67 on:** March 04, 2010, 06:11:29 PM »

if it's an internet persona, then much respect for good trollin'. Especially this 60 page epic.

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #68 on:** March 04, 2010, 06:19:57 PM »

This guy sounds like a real whiny fhagurt.

Which is why I'm surprised Evilborians have not embraced him wholeheartedly!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

just kidding, whores

[close]

demi · « **Reply #69 on:** March 04, 2010, 06:29:49 PM »

Here's a vid of Mr. Rogers for your viewing pleasure

Ichirou · « **Reply #70 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:02:19 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 04, 2010, 04:05:46 PM

Tim Rogers' internet persona is...nah I won't ruin it for you. I think DCharlie and co. know the truth though.

lol, you make it sound so mysterious.

Diunx · « **Reply #71 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:13:45 PM »

This is probably the lamest internet persona I have seen.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #72 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:14:08 PM »

I love how Genghis' avatar adds the 'Deal with it' subtext to every single post now

Ichirou · « **Reply #73 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:14:15 PM »

I'm pretty sure Tim Rogers actually has some sort of mental disorder. The whole "internet persona" thing is just one of the more visible symptoms of it.

Ichirou · « **Reply #74 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:42:46 PM »

Quote from: a slime appears on March 04, 2010, 07:39:15 PM

Sounds like a confused kid living in a city that has no love for him and dealing with people who will forever view him as an outsider. The Internet could be all that he has and he's constantly reinventing himself as a means to grab attention. Not surprising his Internet personas have bled into the real life. When you live that long feeling ostracized and failing to connect with the society around you things can get a little wacky.

Pretty much it. The kid needs a harsh dose of reality.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #75 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:54:57 PM »

aren't a lot of the ex-pat game-related workers in Japan kind of connected though? seems like there'd be a place for him to fit in and not get too culture shocked.

Ichirou · « **Reply #76 on:** March 04, 2010, 07:59:07 PM »

I can't believe a Tim Rogers thread has gone on for three pages on EB. I'm ashamed of myself for contributing.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #77 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:00:28 PM »

both of your mothers

demi · « **Reply #78 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:07:34 PM »

Who would win in an argument - etoilet or tim rogers

Ichirou · « **Reply #79 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:10:56 PM »

etiolate since he is fucking awesome.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #80 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:31:29 PM »

Put etoilate, Tim Rogers and am nintenho in the same room with a spork - see who comes out alive.

Ichirou · « **Reply #81 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:32:55 PM »

:sp0rsk1 :sp0rsk1 :sp0rsk1

btw, I just realized I actually taught the kid in this gif when he went to high school. He graduated last year. --> :hehe

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #82 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:37:40 PM »

please please please everyone stop discussing this attention whore

no-one likes reading his stuff, which is the only thing he has to offer, yet there have been about a dozen threads about him on EB alone. Tokyopia was even worse.

Ichirou · « **Reply #83 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:42:57 PM »

Blame Himuro! He made the thread!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #84 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:43:33 PM »

I even blogged about him today.

Ichirou · « **Reply #85 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:45:47 PM »

Make a blog post about Jeffrey Wells, Willco.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #86 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:48:00 PM »

Jeffrey Wells isn't even funny to talk about.

demi · « **Reply #87 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:48:05 PM »

Quote from: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:45:47 PM

Make a blog post about Jeffrey Wells, Willco.

please please please everyone stop discussing this attention whore

no-one likes reading his stuff, which is the only thing he has to offer, yet there have been about a dozen threads about him on EB alone. GAF was even worse.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #88 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:50:26 PM »

I will say, when one of The Projectionist producers called me in the afternoon after having read my blog, he was stunned that someone like Tim Rogers actually existed. He said he tried to read his Kotaku article, but got a few paragraphs in and quit.

Ichirou · « **Reply #89 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:51:30 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:48:00 PM

Jeffrey Wells isn't even funny to talk about.

Jeffrey Wells is fucking hilarious. You should read the angry entry he wrote about when he stayed at a bed and breakfast a couple of years in a row and felt the owner was his "Sundance Festival Grandma" so the last time he was there, he left his cowboy hat with her and told her he'd be back to pick it up next year.

So next year rolls around and he waits till a couple of weeks before Sundance and then e-mails "Granny" to tell her that he's planning on staying at her bed and breakfast again. She e-mails back and tells him sorry, but the rooms are all booked, which shocks and angers him. He's been betrayed by his own Grandma, after he left her his cowboy hat, which was clearly an elegant, classy gesture that meant he was planning on coming back this year and she should've held a room for him.

So he makes the blog entry, people comment on it making fun of him, someone links the entry to Granny, and she e-mails him telling him she feels harrassed and that she's leaving the cowboy hat at the police station for him to pick up because she doesn't want him coming back to her house.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #90 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:53:31 PM »

That doesn't seem funny, that seems like one incident out of many for an Internet blogger/sociopath. That side of Hollywood isn't even fun for me to talk about!

Ichirou · « **Reply #91 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:54:34 PM »

Also, Don Murphy, Mike Binder, and George Hickenlooper all are regular or semi-regular commenters. It's a good way to build up some industry "connections", Willco.

Himu · « **Reply #92 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:56:48 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:50:26 PM

I will say, when one of The Projectionist producers called me in the afternoon after having read my blog, he was stunned that someone like Tim Rogers actually existed. He said he tried to read his Kotaku article, but got a few paragraphs in and quit.

Link to blog

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #93 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:58:21 PM »

He didn't write anything on the blog, but here is a link nevertheless. Bookmark it. I did reference Cormacaroni today, as well.

Ichirou · « **Reply #94 on:** March 04, 2010, 08:59:25 PM »

Reference me in your next post, please.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #95 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:01:09 PM »

Say something memorable! I usually write them in like twenty minutes, right after I've had my coffee and breakfast - so I am not awake enough to write anything truly profound. Especially since only 40 to 90 people read the blog each day.

Ichirou · « **Reply #96 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:02:10 PM »

Write a rebuttal regarding my views on Jeffrey Wells!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #97 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:03:29 PM »

It would probably go something like:

Jeffrey Wells sucks

I think Jeffrey Wells sucks.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #98 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:06:20 PM »

That's a horrible thing to say to Ichirou!

Ichirou · « **Reply #99 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:06:34 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:03:29 PM

It would probably go something like:

Jeffrey Wells sucks

I think Jeffrey Wells sucks.

His takedown campaigns are amazing. He's been focusing his efforts on taking down Inglorious Bastards and Mo'nique this year. The bile he reserves for his Mo'nique points would make me think he's a huge racist if he hadn't been such a huge supporter of Obama last year.

His posts on the Hispanic Party Elephants (latino fatties with a preference for loud music and stomping) were all hilarious until they actually got him KICKED OUT of the apartment he was illegally subletting because he got so pissed off at their noise he called the cops on them.

EDIT: Also, supposedly when he goes to a movie and doesn't enjoy it, he starts moving in his seat, shaking his head and audibly groaning. Other people who've gone to critics' screenings have testified that he actually does this.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #100 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:08:27 PM »

It sounds like you should write about Jeffrey Wells!

Ichirou · « **Reply #101 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:09:30 PM »

All I would do is just describe his most insane posts because they make me laugh so fucking hard. Are there really a lot of people like him in Hollywood, Willco?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #102 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:11:25 PM »

Short answer: yes

Long answer: yes but

Ichirou · « **Reply #103 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:13:26 PM »

Shit, let me salvage this thread and post the "emotionally vivid cowboy hat" stuff.

Check out Wells' reply when his commenters start LOL'ing and saying he was a moron for believing leaving a cowboy hat was the equivalent of a room reservation:

Wells to 62 Lincoln and the others who don't get it: Yes, yes...if I'd left a cash deposit or a credit-card number then the room would have been assured. I'm not an idiot. But leaving the cowboy hat and plainly stating to the proprietor that I'd come back and wear it the following year (especially after having stayed at the Star in '07 and '08 and been part of the family there, in a sense) was a very emotionally vivid and pronounced way of stating my intentions. It was a message that is recognized by everyone all over the world. It's even recognized in the animal kingdom (i.e., leaving your scent on a piece of turf).

If you go out with a girl and she comes home with you and stays the night and she leaves her underwear or bra or socks in your bedroom after she leaves the next morning, we all know that's a universal message that says, "I want to come back and get to know you better and probably have sex with you again." Everyone knows that. Leaving an article of clothing, something with your scent and paw-prints and sweat residue on it, means that you intend to come back and spray your scent around some more.

If you were to see a 1930s Gary Cooper western and hotel manager Frances Farmer, giving him the old twinkle-eye, asked him if he was coming back after taking his cattle to market, and if he faintly grinned at her and took off his cowboy hat and left it hanging on the wall as he walks out the door, everybody watching the film in any country in the world would know exactly what that means. It would be crystal clear. So don't tell me. Credit cards are well and good, but to say left-behind cowboy hats and such mean nothing is to be way too "dollars and cents" about this matter.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #104 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:15:02 PM »

Or he could just have forgotten it. Occam's Razor me that.

Ichirou · « **Reply #105 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:15:07 PM »

Links to the saga (you have to read the comments to get the full-on hilarity):

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2008/12/couch_potato.php

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2008/12/end_of_the_hat.php

http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/2009/01/hat_is_back.php

Ichirou · « **Reply #106 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:16:04 PM »

So when I said to her last year that I'd like to leave my cowboy hat there so I could just pick up in '09 where I left off in '08, I was obviously saying to her (in my head at least, and I can't imagine how she could have interpreted this any differently) that I'd like it very much if she could be a nice and considerate grandma and hold my hat for me, and that I'd be back to stay the following year. Simple and quite clear all around. I trusted her to get what I meant because, I figured, she surely recognizes the trust and affection that we've had between us over the past two years.

But now things have ended badly. Very badly. I just heard from Carol that she considers my having discussed the matter in the column to be a form of blackmail (a somewhat hysterical interpretation, in my view) and that she's given my hat to the Park City police and that I can pick it up there when I get to town. The fuzz, for God's sake! She's brought the cops into this! Talk about a violation of the trust that comes with friendship and the values of good grandma-hood!

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #107 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:18:09 PM »

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #108 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:20:13 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:50:26 PM

I will say, when one of The Projectionist producers called me in the afternoon after having read my blog, he was stunned that someone like Tim Rogers actually existed. He said he tried to read his Kotaku article, but got a few paragraphs in and quit.

In the interest of keeping down his Google ranking, how about adding an alias to change 'Tim Rogers' to 'Admiral Japan'?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #109 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:21:02 PM »

What am I reading

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #110 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:24:47 PM »

DAT HAT

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #111 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:25:55 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 09:20:13 PM

In the interest of keeping down his Google ranking, how about adding an alias to change 'Tim Rogers' to 'Admiral Japan'?

I think that's an insult to Japan, sir. Weeaboo Rogers reminds me of a skinnier, more douchier version of this guy:

Ichirou · « **Reply #112 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:28:08 PM »

Is that the guy from Hot Tub Time Machine?

BTW, censor Tim Rogers to Jeffrey Wells

Wells

Rogers

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #113 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:28:18 PM »

okay, i read that article. allow me to submit an eight-word synopsis and save you the time and irritation: "i have moved on from your japafaggotry, right?"

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #114 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:29:27 PM »

You read that article, Prole? The entire article?

Prole

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #115 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:30:12 PM »

I read it too!

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #116 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:30:26 PM »

Well, I think it's funny but perhaps only when said by Demi with extreme sarcasm.

Who is the above? If he had a scarf and perhaps a Salvation Army suit jacket, he could stand in for the Admiral quite admirably.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #117 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:30:43 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on March 04, 2010, 09:30:12 PM

I read it too!

Yeah, but Prole's time is actually worth something!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

Ichirou · « **Reply #118 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:31:26 PM »

Well, guess we can add two people to the list of those who read Rogers' articles aside from his parents.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #119 on:** March 04, 2010, 09:31:58 PM »

i read very fast. i could be tim rogers' ideal audience; i can read as fast as he can write. but in a cruel twist of irony, i am unable to listen, just as he is unable to say anything. it's like we're characters in one of richard matheson's lamer shorts!

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Author Topic: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever (Read 13089 times)