Fuck. Now I remember Fergie Oliver! He used to call Blue Jay games in the late eighties and early nineties.
Fergie: Would you like to go to the Sky Dome to watch the Blue Jays.
Alison: Oh, Yes! I love the Blue Jays.
Fergie: I call the game on TV.
Alison: Wow!
Fergie: I get a great seat in the press box; You can come watch the game with me.
Alison: Yay!
Fergie: There's one problem, pumpkin.
Alison: What is that?
Fergie: In the press box, there's just one chair.
Alison: . . .
Fergie: You won't mind sitting on my lap, eh?
Alison: . . . I guess not.
Fergie: Good. When you're watching a game, and, for example, Joe Carter hits a home run do you jump up and down?
Alison: . . .