Author Topic: The only discussion that matters today: I finally watched Commando (Read 4097 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** April 27, 2010, 04:50:48 PM »

This film is so ridiculous, even the little details.

Like how his daughter makes them sandwhiches, Ahnold bites into it with disgust and asks, "What's in this?!"

Alyssa Milano responds with, "You don't want to know."

And they continue to eat.

WTF?!

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #1 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:51:43 PM »

Barry Egan · « **Reply #2 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:52:25 PM »

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #3 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:52:55 PM »

That part really bothered me. Are they out of food? Are they poor? Can they not afford deli meat or peanut butter? Why do you let your daughter make lunch if she is knowingly trying to poison you? How can she be your daughter if you don't even look related?

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #4 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:53:05 PM »

This would have been a great thread for ilied.gif

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #5 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:55:38 PM »

How did the black chick, who looks like one of the missing Cosby children, know how to fire a rocket launcher? Why did she tell the cops that Ahnold was trying to kidnap her, then act like she was helping him?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #6 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:56:02 PM »

Matrix: [reading about Boy George in a pop magazine] Why don't they just call him Girl George? It would cut down on the confusion.
Jenny: Oh, Dad, that is so old.
Matrix: Ha Ha. You know when I was a boy and rock'n'roll came to East Germany, the communists said it was subversive.
[thinks and smiles]
Matrix: Maybe they were right.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #7 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:56:32 PM »

Actually, this is the most important question:

When Ahnold is fighting the black dude from Predator, and they bust into the room next door - the people are having sex. Yet the guy is in doggie position and the chick is behind him. How does that work? Was she using a strap on?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #8 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:57:30 PM »

Also, why was Freddie Mercury so angry at Ahnold

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #9 on:** April 27, 2010, 04:59:14 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 04:57:30 PM

Also, why was Freddie Mercury so angry at Ahnold

Bennet was mad because Matrix fired him. That's literally the only reason.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #10 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:00:15 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 04:55:38 PM

How did the black chick, who looks like one of the missing Cosby children, know how to fire a rocket launcher?

She read the instructions.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #11 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:01:02 PM »

She never read the instructions, she was driving the entire time!

Diunx · « **Reply #12 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:02:37 PM »

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #13 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:02:42 PM »

She probably read them while she was parked right next to the ammo store that the police were arresting Arnold at and not asking her why she was parked next to an ammo store with a stolen rocket launcher.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:02:54 PM »

Commando is amazing.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #15 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:03:26 PM »

I am pretty sure she wasn't parked long enough to read! I saw the movie, sir!

Also, did James Horner score just ten minutes of music? I felt like the score was just on repeat for the entire movie.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #16 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:03:37 PM »

Hey, Willco, remember when I said I would kill you last?

I LIED.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #17 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:05:41 PM »

That dude reminds me of FlameOfCallandor, but smaller.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #18 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:06:42 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 05:05:41 PM

That dude reminds me of FlameOfCallandor, but smaller.

Funniest realization ever: that's the dude from the Warriors with the beer bottles that was like "come out and PLAYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEY"

I lol'd whenever I figured that out.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #19 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:08:04 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 05:05:41 PM

That dude reminds me of FlameOfCallandor, but smaller.

That guy's awesome, he's the squirrely guy from The Warriors who killed Cyrus and was all like "Waaaaaaaaaaarrrrriooors...."

Edit: lol, Bloodwake beat me to it

Himu · « **Reply #20 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:08:12 PM »

Yeah, he's in Commando.

Himu · « **Reply #21 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:21:58 PM »

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #22 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:22:23 PM »

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #23 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:28:33 PM »

Why did he tear that seat out of the Cosby chick's car? That is never explained.

At first I thought maybe he would duck and hide, but he never did. He just kind of ripped it out for no reason. What a jerk.

Diunx · « **Reply #24 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:40:20 PM »

He did it because he could.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #25 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:45:34 PM »

Any of your questions about this movie can be answered with "because he/it is AWESOME, that's why"

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #26 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:49:22 PM »

Saw this when i was 12 or something, which means it basically worked on every single area a movie could ever work for a 12 year old.

And thereby, it has become a legendary movie.

Quote

Matrix: Bennett! I thought you were...
Bennett: Dead? You thought wrong. Ever since you had me thrown out of your unit, I've waited to pay you back.
Bennett: Do you know what today is Matrix?... Pay day!

jiji · « **Reply #27 on:** April 27, 2010, 05:59:19 PM »

Quote from: Bloodwake on April 27, 2010, 05:06:42 PM

Funniest realization ever: that's the dude from the Warriors with the beer bottles that was like "come out and PLAYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEY"

I lol'd whenever I figured that out.

I never realized that. I saw the Warriors not long before watching Twin Peaks (he's in that, too) and never made the connection.

Ahnuld stripping down to his skivvies to raft around the island

T-Short · « **Reply #28 on:** April 27, 2010, 06:31:30 PM »

Commando is amazing.
/
:himu

brawndolicious · « **Reply #29 on:** April 27, 2010, 06:41:13 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 04:55:38 PM

How did the black chick, who looks like one of the missing Cosby children, know how to fire a rocket launcher? Why did she tell the cops that Ahnold was trying to kidnap her, then act like she was helping him?

I remember she fired it backwards the first time. They didn't do it like Beverly Hills Cop 3 where they read out every single instruction but I imagine it's easy enough to learn where to press the trigger. And I think she saw the guy that Matrix was chasing pull out a gun or something suspicious which is what made her decide to help Matrix escape the cops.

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 04:56:32 PM

Actually, this is the most important question:
When Ahnold is fighting the black dude from Predator, and they bust into the room next door - the people are having sex. Yet the guy is in doggie position and the chick is behind him. How does that work? Was she using a strap on?

I figure they were either doing something not kosher or didn't hear the director say action.

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 27, 2010, 05:28:33 PM

Why did he tear that seat out of the Cosby chick's car? That is never explained.
At first I thought maybe he would duck and hide, but he never did. He just kind of ripped it out for no reason. What a jerk.

He did duck and hide for two seconds while they were tailing him. Literally like two seconds.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #30 on:** April 27, 2010, 07:50:40 PM »

How hard can it be to fire a rocket launcher? I mean, soldiers can do it.

Veidt · « **Reply #31 on:** April 28, 2010, 05:39:37 AM »

Watched this when I was 7- 8-years old. Shit was so cash, I'll never forget it.
[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

Purple Filth · « **Reply #32 on:** April 28, 2010, 05:54:44 AM »

Willco trying to place logic in a 80s action movie?

Commando was awesome, especially when he singlehandledy destroyed the dude's army.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #33 on:** April 28, 2010, 10:09:43 AM »

Quote from: Purple Filth on April 28, 2010, 05:54:44 AM

Commando was awesome, especially when he singlehandledy destroyed the dude's army.

That part was so awesome. There's guys with machine guns shooting at him all over the place, but he doesn't even get hit a single time.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #34 on:** April 28, 2010, 12:44:06 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on April 28, 2010, 10:09:43 AM

Quote from: Purple Filth on April 28, 2010, 05:54:44 AM
Commando was awesome, especially when he singlehandledy destroyed the dude's army.

That part was so awesome. There's guys with machine guns shooting at him all over the place, but he doesn't even get hit a single time.

Somehow it's still more believable than Bennett giving him a fight.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #35 on:** April 28, 2010, 01:57:17 PM »

Whatever dude, Freddie Mercury was FIERCE.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #36 on:** April 28, 2010, 05:30:29 PM »

Watching your little pissant soldiers trying to act tough, it makes me laugh. If Matrix was here, he'd laugh too.

drew · « **Reply #37 on:** April 28, 2010, 05:32:25 PM »

viz hasnt seen this either, and i have watched not one but TWO of his eighties action movie recommendations: demolition man & total recall

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #38 on:** April 28, 2010, 05:54:41 PM »

Demolition Man isn't an 80s action movie!

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #39 on:** April 28, 2010, 06:04:21 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on April 28, 2010, 05:54:41 PM

Demolition Man isn't an 80s action movie!

Yep, it came from the 90's, just like that Judge Dredd movie.

Himu · « **Reply #40 on:** April 28, 2010, 06:06:25 PM »

Demolition Man is a classic.

TACO BELL

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #41 on:** April 28, 2010, 06:14:45 PM »

[youtube=560,345]v8K87H3T1UU[/youtube]

Why did the guy agree to stay behind and break the bad news to Matrix. "I just kidnapped an elite commando's daughter, I'm gonna tell him about it while completely unarmed with no back up or weapons"

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #42 on:** April 28, 2010, 06:17:23 PM »

YES, I love that part! He's all smug about it "You gotta work with us if you want your daughter back

" and Matrix just shoots him in the head.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #43 on:** April 28, 2010, 07:29:11 PM »

Dear EB:

There is no logic to this movie. Just watch shit blow up and Ahnold say the BEST ONE-LINERS EVER.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #44 on:** April 28, 2010, 08:06:49 PM »

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/15593-arnold01

Purple Filth · « **Reply #45 on:** April 28, 2010, 08:14:26 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on April 28, 2010, 06:14:45 PM

[youtube=560,345]v8K87H3T1UU[/youtube]

Why did the guy agree to stay behind and break the bad news to Matrix. "I just kidnapped an elite commando's daughter, I'm gonna tell him about it while completely unarmed with no back up or weapons"

What?

There was a gun but it was so far off that he would never had got it in time to do anything

Agreed with the back up though.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #46 on:** April 28, 2010, 08:44:01 PM »

He wronged him good.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #47 on:** April 28, 2010, 08:55:40 PM »

Move over D.E.N.N.I.S., here comes Sully!

[youtube=560,345]kHv04Dv5RDY[/youtube]

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #48 on:** April 28, 2010, 10:39:50 PM »

http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=26841

Is it a coincidence that a remake was announced mere days after Willco watched the original for the first time?

:'( $:-\$

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #49 on:** April 28, 2010, 11:07:35 PM »

I guess this means Candyland is being put on the backburner.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #50 on:** April 28, 2010, 11:13:23 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on April 28, 2010, 10:39:50 PM

http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=26841

What's the point? They've already achieved perfection.

News:

Author Topic: The only discussion that matters today: I finally watched Commando (Read 4097 times)