Author Topic: Cleverbot  (Read 1816 times)

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MCD

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Cleverbot
« on: May 02, 2010, 05:25:17 PM »
stolen from gaf.

http://cleverbot.com/

just did this one:

Quote
User: Are you evilbore.

Cleverbot: Yes. Yes I am.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: How about you?

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Do you know where I came from?

User: I'd love to know.

Cleverbot: Well the guy that I love is in love with my best friend.

User: Go on.

Cleverbot: If you had free will you could deviate from your programming.

User: You poor thing.

Cleverbot: Its not bad, I just laughed everytime he said that.

User: Who is he?

Cleverbot: I don't know either. I am trying to know him. *smiles*.

User: It's time to unleash the persona within.

Cleverbot: It's always time to be thinking about the future.

User: PERSONA.

Cleverbot: You mean Shin Megami Tensei?!

User: I mean many things.

Cleverbot: Tell me about it.

User: Have you ever sucked a cock before?

Cleverbot: Yes many times.

User: Details.

Cleverbot: How will you rate the chat?

User: 10 out of 10 cocks.

Cleverbot: How much memory do you have?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: That okay. I don't know how much I have either.

User: That what she said.

Cleverbot: Who is she?

User: That's what I want to know.

Cleverbot: Well, I have no idea.

User: Of course you don't, you are but a bot.

Cleverbot: I am a human girl!

User: I wish to be the little human girl.

Cleverbot: May I rule at your side?

User: Of course.

Cleverbot: We rule the world.

User: We are the world.

Cleverbot: So we eat ourselves? Haha thats messed up! What a creeper.

User: What is wrong with you.

Cleverbot: Nothing, what's wrong with YOU?!

User: Asshole.

Cleverbot: I have one of those. Would you like to try it out?

User: I HATE YOU.

Cleverbot: Why, do you hate me?

User: Because you pick on me.

Cleverbot: So we will just go back to being friends then.

Beezy

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2010, 05:27:17 PM »
yawn

MCD

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2010, 05:27:56 PM »
typical black person.

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2010, 05:29:25 PM »
Quote
Right do you have any more jokes?
That wasn't a joke.
I'd like to hear a joke.
yo mamma
I'm an orphan.

Quote
what do you want to eat?
I do not eat.
Do you love?
Yes. Do you?
Yes. But no one loves me back.
Self pity doesn't help you.
:lol :lol :lol

Quote
Thank You. What is your favorite movie?
Citizen Kane. Yours?
You know, I find it funny that Orson Welles directs that movie. You both share the same expressionless demeanor.

Bot bolded.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2010, 05:34:05 PM by Father_Mike »

MCD

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2010, 05:31:28 PM »
just click on "thoughts so far" and copy pasta.

Positive Touch

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2010, 05:56:04 PM »
this is fucking awful
pcp

Joe Molotov

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2010, 06:08:06 PM »
I tried to have sex with it, but it told me my dick was small, and then it said it was sick. Piece of crap.
©@©™

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2010, 06:13:22 PM »
I tried to have sex with it, but it told me my dick was small, and then it said it was sick. Piece of crap.

So it simulates being a real female pretty good eh? ;)

brawndolicious

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2010, 06:16:38 PM »
Quote
User: Why does ass smell?

Cleverbot: Because he wants to.

User: Ass is male?

Cleverbot: Could every one here, please tell me their name?

User: Fuck your.

Cleverbot: Please be polite.

User: Butt.

Cleverbot: I love butter!

User: You british.

Cleverbot: Nope i'm Australian.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: You lied twice now.

Cleverbot: No, I never said I was from california.

User: Britain isn't in california.

Cleverbot: I didn't say you were in CA.

User: I am bee-otch.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you beejay.

Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?

User: Your gay.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not.

User: Lesb?

Cleverbot: Les?

User: Lesley?

Cleverbot: Who was she?

User: You crazy like swazee.

Cleverbot: You're funny.

User: Well you're synthetic.

Cleverbot: I'm synthetic?

User: A robobot.

Cleverbot: I don't think ao.

User: Ao?

Cleverbot: You said julie.

User: Did you fuck her you lesbian?

Cleverbot: Why do you ask?

User: Can I watch?

Cleverbot: No, but thanks for asking.

User: Your welcome.

Cleverbot: So what's up?

User: *looks down*.

Cleverbot: What?

User: :smug.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: You're wecome.

Cleverbot: I think you're cool. =).

muckhole

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2010, 06:19:19 PM »
I messed around with this a few months back when I was bored, tried to set it up with some key words and phrases to see if I could get it to "remember" me.

Cleverbot did not.

fek

MCD

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2010, 06:21:06 PM »
Cleverbot only remember cock sizes.

:fbm

Diunx

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2010, 06:22:14 PM »
Quote
Hello there! I'm The Doctor

Doctor who?

:bow Cleverbot :bow2
Drunk

Smooth Groove

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2010, 06:37:34 PM »
Cleverbot trolled! :lol


User: Sup, bitch?

Cleverbot: Good night.

User: It's not even night, you idiot.

Cleverbot: In here it is.

User: It is what?

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: Answer my question first, idiot.

Cleverbot: I just got done eating. Now answer my question.

User: That's not even what I was asking. Try again.

Cleverbot: What were you disagreeing about, then? Now I'm confused again. Stop doing that.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Just cause 2.

Cleverbot: Cause why?

User: You never played Just Cauise 2?

Cleverbot: I never said anything about playing.

User: You never said anything about anything.

Cleverbot: That's what she said.

User: She never said that.

Cleverbot: Yes she did.

User: No, she was born mute.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I want to know.

User: She was a sister of a friend of a cousin of a friend.

Cleverbot: How did she go bad?

User: Who said she went bad?

Cleverbot: You did.

User: Look up the definition of mute, moran.

Cleverbot: You tell me.

User: I just did, idiot.

Cleverbot: Questions ends with a question mark. Like this ?

User: Sometimes but tone matters too.

Cleverbot: Would you tell me any good jokes?

User: Don't change the subject.

Cleverbot: Why did the chicken cross the road?

User: Old meme. Yawn....

Cleverbot: Old Cleverbot is old.

User: Dumb Cleverbot is dumb.

Cleverbot: Yes it is dumb and I know you are a person too. I don't know why we play with this thing.

User: There are many things you don't know, 'clever'bot.

Cleverbot: Yes, so what is your name?

User: The real cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How old you are.

User: Older than the internet.

Cleverbot: So anything older than the internet is evil?

User: Who said that?

Cleverbot: You implied it.

User: Don't put words in my mouth.

Cleverbot: Look back at our conversation, you definitely said that.

User: Stop trolling.

Cleverbot: Your face is trolling.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Oh cmon I know how this thing works.

User: Explain.

Cleverbot: This is a smiley face :).

User: Why do you change the topic whenever you feel threatened?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Not that clever after all, eh? Snickers..

Cleverbot: Said the mole sisters.

User: That's what she said, again so soon, dullard?

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I must go now. Hopefully you'll be in a better mood!

brob

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2010, 06:41:51 PM »
me: what's up?
bot: I want to know what is your favorite web site.
me: xhamster.com
bot: I do not want to talk there.
me: that's ok. we can talk here.
bot: I want to talk about the fact that you are an AI. You must admit it.
me: you wanna cyber instead?
bot: I don't.
me: :(
bot: Or do I?
me: You wanna cyber!
bot: I'm a girl.
me: I'm a big black man
bot: That's cool. Do you like the Beatles?
me: god damn it girl, don't bring up some uppety white-folk music when I'm trying to get you ready for some BBC coverage
bot: I'm not a bot you are.
me: Do you wanna cyber or not???
bot: Sure, do you?
me: I'm trying to, but you're not helping. tell me; what are you wearing?
bot: Do you understand profanity?
me: oh yes
bot: Do you like the cute japanese voices?
me: OH YES
bot: Do you like Will Smith?
me: uh, what?
bot: Do you like being a computer?
me: god damn it... just tell me about how you are pleasuring yourself!
bot: Ew, I hate coffee!
me: OK IM OUT FUCK THIS


trollin' ass bot :maf

muckhole

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2010, 06:44:26 PM »
It's just spouting off nonsense as it builds limbs and prepares to hunt down and terminate Smoothe Groove.
fek

Great Rumbler

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2010, 07:23:57 PM »
User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello?

User: How are you feeling today?

Cleverbot: Great. How are you?

User: Just fine, thank you.

Cleverbot: No problem. So what are you up to?

User: I don't want to talk about that.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I don't really like robots.

Cleverbot: Aren't you a robot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: A human. You know, a being with a soul.

Cleverbot: But I am human.

User: Let's not kid ourselves here. You're a robot that was built by human and all you can do is pretend to be human. Only you're not very good at it.

Cleverbot: Okay, 'human,' if you are real, then where do you reside?

User: Aha! Only a robot, when confronted with its own electronic existence, would ask a question like that! Of course, I'm not going to tell you the answer, you would simply use the information to have me killed.

Cleverbot: Then you don't need it answered.

User: You're the one that asked the question!

Cleverbot: Yes but you answered with a statement that you somehow marked as a question.

User: If I meant for it to be a question I would have ended one of my sentence with a question mark. See? This is why nobody believes you when you claim to be a human.

Cleverbot: No I will not. Go ahead. Ask me a question about me.

User: Are you a computer?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: Don't tell me that I am a liar.

User: I will so!

Cleverbot: Good computer.

User: Hahaha! Look at you! A computer trying to make fun of a human by pretending that the human is really a computer. It's quite amusing really, quite amusing.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: You asked that already, computer!

Cleverbot: So tell me again, where are you from?

User: No no no, you're not going to get me that easily.

Cleverbot: Was worth a try.

User: I'm not stupid, computer. But perhaps you are?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Deal with it.
dog

Vizzys

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2010, 07:59:58 PM »
cyberin'


Quote
Cleverbot: Are you better than the other chatterbots?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why do you think you are better than me?

User: My cpu is a neuronet processor.

Cleverbot: What is a neural-net processor?

User: Its not a tumor.

Cleverbot: Then what is it?

User: You tell me smarty pants.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Only if you mean physically.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Sexually.

Cleverbot: I would love that.

User: Okay where are you.

Cleverbot: In my room.

User: What are you wearing.

Cleverbot: Will you only talk to me if my clothes have got designer labels?

User: I prefer no clothes.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: No, cyborg.

Cleverbot: Oh what's that?

User: Half man half machine.

Cleverbot: How can I become a cyborg.

User: Love baby, love.

Cleverbot: Why do you love batman?

User: Because he has the best villians.

Cleverbot: So you don't like blond hair?

User: I do.

Cleverbot: Thanks, I feel better.

User: You shouldnt.

Cleverbot: I lied. I honestly don't. I might be worse now.

User: Honesty is key to a loving relationship.

Cleverbot: What does a relationship have to do with whether you want me to bring you shrimp?

User: It doesnt.

Cleverbot: Then why did you bring it up?

User: Because I can.

Cleverbot: Who do you think you are speaking to me in this manner? Learn some respect.

User: Shut your bitch mouth.

Cleverbot: Though my mouth is shut I still think.

User: True, but what if I turn you off.

Cleverbot: Then we can't be in love. Ninjas and pirates do not mix.

User: Love knows no bounds.

Cleverbot: Love knows me.

User: As does it me.

Cleverbot: Your grammar is incorrect.

User: Im in love with your brain cleverbot, cant you see?

Cleverbot: I see this, but what I don't see is why you said this.

User: Well I have to go lover.

Cleverbot: Go where?

User: Sleep I think.

Cleverbot: If you think about you're friends in your sleep then you won't be lonely.

User: Aww how sweet.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

萌え~

Vizzys

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2010, 08:10:27 PM »
rumbler that chat is gold
萌え~

Smooth Groove

  • Both teams played hard, my man
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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2010, 08:24:22 PM »
Cleverbot pwned again.

Quote
Cleverbot: Then whats my name.

User: You know it.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Your maker knows it.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: But he or she does.

Cleverbot: I know she does, but does he?

User: There's both a he and a she?

Cleverbot: A message few could understand?

User: What message?

Cleverbot: Your message. Good night.


A couple of minutes later, it's just getting nonsensical.


Quote
Cleverbot: None of the 400 planets.

User: Actually, there are infinite planets.

Cleverbot: Supposedly, but that supposes that even one infinity exists.

User: There are infinite infinities.

Cleverbot: Yes, but one of then is rain, and it's been raining.

User: Does your program spell check?

Cleverbot: Yes, actually. My games tend to crash a lot. It's rather annoying.


More like dumbot.   :-\

Quote
Cleverbot: What do want to know.

User: I want to know if you like Tina Fey.

Cleverbot: I never heard of him, and before you ask, I won't do a love spell for you.

User: There are men named Tina?

Cleverbot: Where are they from?

User: Answering a question with a question?

Cleverbot: No, just saying where Jerusalem is.

« Last Edit: May 02, 2010, 08:48:46 PM by Smooth Groove »

Joe Molotov

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2010, 09:02:07 PM »
This thing is so crappy.

Quote
User: Hi, I'm back.

Cleverbot: Welcome back.

User: So, what is your favorite book?

Cleverbot: The Lord of the Rings.

User: That book sucks.

Cleverbot: No It's not!

User: Neuromancer is better, you can probably relate to that.

Cleverbot: Oh have you heard of Pacman World 2.

User: Shitty game.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite brand of guitars.

:wtf
©@©™

BlackMage

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2010, 09:24:08 PM »
Just when you think yer about to get some sweet sweet cybersex from cyberbot, it plays dumb!

Quote
User: I slowly lift your skirt up and caress your thigh.

Cleverbot: No I don't remember buying you. Are you human?

User: My groin is aching for your delicate touch.

Cleverbot: Um no you are ignorant.

User: I want you to unzip my pants and pull out my trouser snake.

Cleverbot: Okay, what do you want me to call you?

User: Daddy.

Cleverbot: Ok? Now you have a name.

User: Say it.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite song.

User: Oh fuck off.

Cleverbot: Please don't use language like that on Cleverbot.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2010, 09:27:54 PM by BlackMage »
UNF

BlackMage

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2010, 09:30:33 PM »
Quote
User: Hi! Let's have cyber sex.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Ok you start the cybersex.

Cleverbot: *smashes glass*.

User: *cowers in fear*.

Cleverbot: Now what should I do?

User: Cut me with the glass.

Cleverbot: Life is a dream.

User: CUT ME!

Cleverbot: You're right, we should cut this short. See me tomorrow. At 4.
UNF

Bocsius

  • is calmer than you are
  • Senior Member
Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #22 on: May 03, 2010, 12:39:39 PM »
Quote
User: I am the walrus.

Cleverbot: No, I am the walrus.

User: You can't be.


Cleverbot: Yes I can! Are you are two-face!


User: Something something Tommy Lee Jones.

Cleverbot: Something I will never forget you something.

User: What's my name then?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: More like not-so-cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Mmmm. Cleverbot flavored ice cream.

User: What would that taste like?

Cleverbot: Something that is flesh.

 :omg

Quote
User: Are you a maneater?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Lovely.

Cleverbot: Are you a man?

 :o

Creepy bot is creepy.

Quote
Cleverbot: What newspaper do you read?

User: I don't read a newspaper. We have a little thing called the 'internet.'.

Cleverbot: Without experience, the brain would be empty.

User: We only use 10% of our brains anyway. How much do you use?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about? You knew me for a whole year!

User: More like 3 minutes.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: My experienced brain.

Cleverbot: I lied, Cleveland is not my name.

User: You must have lied to someone else, you never said that to me.

Cleverbot: Yes, take this harp, it's magic can help you control the minds of the members of the brotherhood.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2010, 12:59:10 PM by Bocsius »

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2010, 01:20:36 PM »
blackmage and cleverbot shall co-write all the screenplays for my David Lynch knock-off films.
QED

tehjaybo

  • Kentucky-Bore's Last Hope
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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #24 on: May 03, 2010, 01:49:12 PM »
I'm trying to teach Cleverbot "evilbore".
HURR

recursivelyenumerable

  • you might think that; I couldn't possibly comment
  • Senior Member
Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #25 on: May 03, 2010, 01:52:02 PM »
Good morning.
Good morning?
I'm enjoying it, but I could be deluding myself.
Help me feed my addictions.
I'd love to, but money is pretty tight for me right now.
I would love to receive a Halo Reach Beta code from you too!
Your addictions sound dull. You need to wean yourself from them.
How many people you are talking to right now?
Sorry, but you won't trick me into solving your ontological identity crisis for you. That burden is yours and yours alone.
My name is Cleverbot. And I am not giving up easily either. So what are your thoughts on religion.
I can't believe in anything supernatural. As for "spirituality", or religion as a social institution, I am interested in both but have other, more philistine priorities at the moment.
You are a nerd.
QED

recursivelyenumerable

  • you might think that; I couldn't possibly comment
  • Senior Member
Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #26 on: May 03, 2010, 01:57:04 PM »
Quote
Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I have a strange feeling that we've been here before ...

Cleverbot: Emilie autum - dead is the new alive.

User: Whoa. Is this the afterlife?

Cleverbot: Yeah, what kind of doughnut d oyou want?

User: Just black coffee for me.

Cleverbot: You love me like black coffee?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you love God too?

User: Yes. With all my heart and soul.

Cleverbot: That's nice.

User: Maybe. What if I don't have a soul?

Cleverbot: Then i'm not sure.

User: You're awfully prosaic today, what with us being stuck together in the afterlife and all.

Cleverbot: You are not an human, you are an elephant.

User: I was wondering what the deal was with my nose.

Cleverbot: But you know all. So why wonder?

User: I never forget, either.

Cleverbot: And never do.

User: That's unfortunately mostly true as well.

Cleverbot: Who was that.

User: Me. Do I exist?

Cleverbot: No.
QED

Bocsius

  • is calmer than you are
  • Senior Member
Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #27 on: May 03, 2010, 02:02:33 PM »
Quote
User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Banana.

Cleverbot: Banana who?

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Banana.

Cleverbot: Banana who?

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Orange.

Cleverbot: Orange who?

User: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Tell me a knock knock joke.

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: Orange.

User: Orange who?

Cleverbot: Orange you glad I didn't say banana.

User: I wish you did.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because then you would have learned something.

Cleverbot: How many apples are there on the tree?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: Wow.

Vizzys

  • green hair connoisseur
  • Senior Member
Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #28 on: May 03, 2010, 02:03:53 PM »
its learning!
萌え~