i had to get our fatass white cat euthanized. i never got along with him, but i took him on his last ride to the vet's, and i felt really bad for the poor, mewling bastard. he had a huge polyp in his colon that was crushing his intestine, and his whole digestive tract was blocked up and septic. what a horrible way to die. he didn't fuss when i took him into the vet, or when they shot him fulla sodium pentathol. in fact, he was strangely silent the whole time after we got into my truck -- he had had been mewling in agony for several hours previous as we tried to figure out what the fuck to do for him and get some advice -- and kept staring straight at me, like i was the totem that would end his pain. that was totally weird and sad.