Going on a Cruise tomorrow...

[tiesto]

Yup, my first ever cruise... gonna be leaving out of the Port of Miami (maybe I'll bump into Rick Ross), and going to the Bahamas, via Carnival. I don't really know what to expect, apart from a lot of eating...

should be a good time, eating, relaxing overlooking the water while playing DS, drinking at the local bars, snorkeling... I just hope my trip isn't spoiled by any DOLPHINS!

[The Fake Shemp]

I've been on one Carnival cruise. It's awesome. Mostly eating and drinking and partying. You're single, right? You'll love it.

[tiesto]

I've been on one Carnival cruise. It's awesome. Mostly eating and drinking and partying. You're single, right? You'll love it.

Nope, got a girlfriend, but she won't be going on the cruise...

I won't misbehave TOO much 

[Reb]

It's not cheating if you only put in the tip.

[Fresh Prince]

Time to go whalin'

[Joe Molotov]

It's not cheating if you only put in the tip.

In the butt.

[Mupepe]

I know a guy who was supposed to leave out of Miami for a cruise today but his wife died last week.  Just sayin.

[The Fake Shemp]

I've been on one Carnival cruise. It's awesome. Mostly eating and drinking and partying. You're single, right? You'll love it.

Nope, got a girlfriend, but she won't be going on the cruise...

I won't misbehave TOO much 

Uh, yeah... that was dumb.

[The Fake Shemp]

And to elaborate, people get so drunk on cruises, that intercourse is basically mandatory. Every time I go, chicks talk about their boyfriends, fiancés and husbands the first day and they vanish a day after you hit international waters. Without fail, if a chick goes without her partner, she bangs some dude.

Funny story: I added this chick as a friend on Facebook who banged this guy on the cruise. She's married. She added a mutual acquaintance of the guy she cheated on her husband with, and he mentioned it on her wall.

[Phoenix Dark]

wow

[The Fake Shemp]

She stopped posting on her Facebook after that, I have no idea.

[demi]

Why would you go on a cruise just to play DS? Let alone by yourself if you've got a girlfriend?

[Akala]

I've always wanted to go on a single's cruise.

So does every fat chick in America

 

[tiesto]

Why would you go on a cruise just to play DS? Let alone by yourself if you've got a girlfriend?

Well, I'm actually going with my friend and his family... they wanted to take him on a little getaway b/c he recently got into a nasty divorce (loooong story that I'll have to get into some other time). He asked if me and another one of our friends wanted to come along, I figured "what the hell"? Felt it would be a bit awkward bringing my g/f along to chill with his family and such.

I am sure we are gonna be packed to the brim doing activities and stuff, but I'm an introvert so I like my alone time, hence the DS...

Willco, I am a pretty well-behaved guy, never cheated on a girl and no plans to, at all. I'll gladly wing for my 2 friends though, since they are single.

[The Fake Shemp]

Wait, what does wing mean to you?  Wing to me always meant fuck the ugly/fat girl. 

Shit, dude. You went above and beyond the call of duty. You don't need to fuck 'em to get them out of the way.

[The Fake Shemp]

Get them drunk and dump them in an alleyway.

[DJ_Tet]

And to elaborate, people get so drunk on cruises, that intercourse is basically mandatory. Every time I go, chicks talk about their boyfriends, fiancés and husbands the first day and they vanish a day after you hit international waters. Without fail, if a chick goes without her partner, she bangs some dude.

Funny story: I added this chick as a friend on Facebook who banged this guy on the cruise. She's married. She added a mutual acquaintance of the guy she cheated on her husband with, and he mentioned it on her wall.

  screencap that shit 

[Human Snorenado]

Get them drunk and dump them in an alleyway.

I look forward to the "William Federwang Guide to Getting Fatties Outta The Way"