Memorial Day Weekend

[demi]

Willco told me you were gonna meet up with him...

[Akala]

good for you!  

maybe she just created a massive fight because she wanted make up sex.

Smooth has a point but, as your lawyer, I'd advise against asking. I'd also advise against a separation! Maybe just give her more space and see how that goes.

[Kestastrophe]

*Update*

After going to therapy on Friday (by myself, lol), it came out that if I want to save my marriage then my feelings don't matter because "someone has to carry the hope for a little while". My cunt wife left on Friday and didn't come home until today, but I pretty much begged her to not kill our relationship and said I would do anything, even if that meant me moving out (i already had it set up so that I can move in with my parents. Not because I can't afford my own place, but because I have more friends in my hometown and I need to get out of this city for a while). She said that she wanted me to move out for a bit, but that she'll have to "wait and see" about possible reconciliation in the future (lol). I also asked her to go to therapy this Friday for me, and she refused  . Its seriously like living with an adolescent

It makes it alot easier on me that she is such a cunt, its just hard because its 9 whole years and we used to be sooo happy together. Rose tinted glasses probably, but its difficult all the same. She was acting all emo afterwards while I am really excited about spending the summer with my brother, cousin, and old friends. So I am pretty sure she feels bad about the state of things. It feels like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Ready to face the future, whatever that may be *cue inspirational song*

[The Fake Shemp]

Don't worry, I see good times in your near future.

[Akala]

fucked up man.

[Kestastrophe]

fucked up man.

ya, its really weird and totally out of character for her. All of this has literally happened within a month. I even suspected her of drug use for awhile, because her behavior is so erratic. I think I said this before, but if we had the completely mild and tame argument that precipitated this a month ago, I think everything would be peachy. She is like a completely different person the last 3 weeks 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll hit you up if/when I need divorce papers drawn up, dude

[close]

I see gay times in my future too, Will 

[Brehvolution]

 

[Smooth Groove]

Kes, I don't even know to say.  The whole thing just seems so confusing.  At least, you seem to be taking it well.  Spending some time with friends and family is definitely a good idea.

Also, since you will have some time alone:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Mupepe]

Seems like she's probably taking you and your relationship for granted, dude.  She probably doesn't realize how much she needs you.  so during this time apart it'd probably be a good idea to let most communications be initiated by her.  Just go out and do your own thing.  Most people in these situations tend to realize what they had.  That's common.  The hard part is getting her to talk to fix what's actually going on which she seems to just flat out refuse to do.  Good luck, dude.

[Kestastrophe]

The hard part is getting her to talk to fix what's actually going on which she seems to just flat out refuse to do.

You are very correct, and its (one) of the parts that I don't get. Its like she doesn't want to take ownership or responsibility for her actions, etc. and puts all of those responsibilities off by continuing her downward spiral

Don't we have some psychologists here? Hook a brother up

[Mr. Gundam]

The hard part is getting her to talk to fix what's actually going on which she seems to just flat out refuse to do.

You are very correct, and its (one) of the parts that I don't get. Its like she doesn't want to take ownership or responsibility for her actions, etc. and puts all of those responsibilities off by continuing her downward spiral

Don't we have some psychologists here? Hook a brother up

I'm only a school psychologist. I have some training in counseling, but I'm just a dude with a Master's degree who's focus is on education.

I will say this, though, and it has nothing to do with my professional training but from personal experience being in relationships. Earlier you mentioned that you've been with your wife since she was what, 16? Is that right? If that's the case -- and I don't mean this to sound like I'm just some asshole who is armchair counseling -- sometimes people change a whole lot between then and their mid 20s. It might be that the things she wanted at 16 with you aren't what she wants now. Acting irrational and manic towards you may be the only way she knows how to respond to the situation. Not saying it's right (it isn't), but that could explain her recent change.

We started dating in 2001, I was only 18 and she was 16. We got married two years ago. She does need professional help, but I doubt very much that she would be receptive to anything I have to say. I tried to talk to her earlier this week, and she threw a tantrum like a little kid. She has maturity and selfishness problems, but I am pretty sure that she is depressed. In retrospect, I should have seen it sooner, but I can't change what happened.

Did she ever have the chance to "grow up" and experience life on her own? Maybe that's her subconscious desire and acting like a crazy bitch is her way of letting you know.

Obviously, I don't know you or the situation aside from what you've shared, so I'm only basing things off the little information I have. Nothing personal.

[Kestastrophe]

That sounds about right actually. She even said at one point that she "missed the college life". And yeah, we never grew up without the other person being right there by their side (I was only 18 when we started dating). Its just shocking to me that she wants to throw it all away in the blink of an eye. As shitty as she has been towards me, its still difficult for me to kiss those 9 years goodbye

[Mr. Gundam]

It hurts, but the person we are at 16, or 18, isn't the person we're meant to be as an adult. Be thankful you guys don't have kids while you're going through all of this.

I can't imagine how tough this is for you, but hang in there man, I sure hope that things will work out for you in the end.

[Himu]

Kes I don't know what to say in these situations, because always "hang in there" feels forced to me, but I wish I could I say more

[Kestastrophe]

I can't imagine how tough this is for you, but hang in there man, I sure hope that things will work out for you in the end.

Things will definitely work out for me either way (still sucks in the short term), its her that I am worried about. I am pretty sure she is depressed and has a drinking problem. Plus she isn't responding to her mom's phone calls and is hanging out with a bunch of losers. Even if she does kill our relationship, I hope she can live with the things she's done. I know I would have a hard time sleeping at night if it were me

Also, since you will have some time alone:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

This is actually hilarious. When I knew that the bed and breakfast I reserved was going to go unused, my brother told me to rent a bunch of pornos and jerk off all night

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I would have, but it would only make me feel like more of a loser

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

Semi-update: Scheduled a therapist appointment for Friday, and Cunt Wife miraculously agreed to go without too much fuss. Also, mama bear came up and was asking questions, but it was less of a smackdown than the bitch needed. I can only imagine that she has something better in store. I talked to the bitch earlier today, apparently mother in law asked where she was on my b-day and the cunt lied and said "we got lost". lol. Lying to your own mother, on top of the inhumane shit she has done to me. I told her "good luck living with yourself", cuz I know she'll snap out of it and kick herself in the jeans when she realizes how many bridges she's burned.

In case you can't tell by the tone, I've had it. I have started looking for somewhere else to live and as of right now, I consider this over. It would take a miraculous turn in character or help in therapy to save this now. Good fucking riddance

So she'll get half of your hard earned shit? smh  :'(

[Brehvolution]

So she'll get half of your hard earned shit? smh  :'(

What makes you think that?