Summer 2010's next box office bomb brought to you by M. Night Shyamalan

[ManaByte]

http://io9.com/5576076/m-night-shyamalan-finally-made-a-comedy

And The Last Airbender is a lavish parody of big-budget fantasy epics. It's got everything: the personality-free hero, the nonsensical plot twists, the CG clutter, the bland romance, the new-age pablum. No expense is spared — Shyamalan even makes sure to make fun of distractingly shitty 3-D, by featuring it in his movie.

This is the part where I would insert a quick plot synopsis of the film, but it's really unnecessary - Shyamalan has boiled every epic heroic story of the past 20 years down to its most basic, primal soup-y essence, so he can spray it all over the audience, in a kind of Hero's-Journey bukkake. You will be finding chunks of Joseph Campbell's calcified spooge behind your ears for three days after watching this film, no matter how many times you bathe.

[The Fake Shemp]

M. Night

[Great Rumbler]

How is anyone surprised by this?

It is M. Night, so all bets are off, but I figured The Last Airbender was kind of a sure thing, at least enough to provide a mediocre product. He got a $150 million budget, a popular source with plot lines and characters already laid out, and an emphasis on action place of an intricate plot with deep characters. I certainly didn't expect it to end up this BAD. But, again, it is M. Night.

[Joe Molotov]

http://io9.com/5576076/m-night-shyamalan-finally-made-a-comedy

And The Last Airbender is a lavish parody of big-budget fantasy epics. It's got everything: the personality-free hero, the nonsensical plot twists, the CG clutter, the bland romance, the new-age pablum. No expense is spared — Shyamalan even makes sure to make fun of distractingly shitty 3-D, by featuring it in his movie.

This is the part where I would insert a quick plot synopsis of the film, but it's really unnecessary - Shyamalan has boiled every epic heroic story of the past 20 years down to its most basic, primal soup-y essence, so he can spray it all over the audience, in a kind of Hero's-Journey bukkake. You will be finding chunks of Joseph Campbell's calcified spooge behind your ears for three days after watching this film, no matter how many times you bathe.

Like when Aang and his friends are taken prisoner by the Fire Nation and locked up with a bunch of Earth-benders, in a big dirt enclosure. And Aang looks at the Earth-benders and shouts, "EARTH BENDERS! THERE IS DIRT UNDER YOUR FEET! THERE'S DIRT ALL AROUND YOU! WHY DON'T YOU FIGHT?" And everybody's like, "Whoa." They notice that there's a lot of dirt here, all right. How did they miss that? It's like they've got selective dirt-blindness.

Later in the film, Katara says my favorite line ever, "We need to show them that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in their beliefs."

Nevermind, I think I'm going to go see this now.

[Mandark]

It is M. Night, so all bets are off, but I figured The Last Airbender was kind of a sure thing, at least enough to provide a mediocre product. He got a $150 million budget, a popular source with plot lines and characters already laid out, and an emphasis on action place of an intricate plot with deep characters. I certainly didn't expect it to end up this BAD. But, again, it is M. Night.

You could say all that about the Golden Compass (plus it has a bear in a suit of armor wrecking shit!) and that was apparently bad too.

Learn 2 movie, Hollywood.

[Smooth Groove]

"As the villain, Shyamalan has cast Cliff Curtis as Fire Lord Ozai and Dev Patel (the hero of "Slumdog Millionaire") as his son Prince Zuko. This is all wrong. In material at this melodramatic level, you need teeth-gnashers, not leading men. Indeed, all of the acting seems inexplicably muted. I've been an admirer of many of Shyamalan's films, but action and liveliness are not his strong points. I fear he takes the theology of the Bending universe seriously."

I think Ebert pretty much nailed why this was a disaster.  Turning material like this into something artsy almost never works, as even more competent directors like Ang Lee have shown. 

[Great Rumbler]

One of my friends posted this on Facebook:

Let's put it in this way: it makes Battle Field Earth look like Star Wars.

[Purple Filth]

How is anyone surprised by this?

It is M. Night, so all bets are off, but I figured The Last Airbender was kind of a sure thing, at least enough to provide a mediocre product. He got a $150 million budget, a popular source with plot lines and characters already laid out, and an emphasis on action place of an intricate plot with deep characters. I certainly didn't expect it to end up this BAD. But, again, it is M. Night.

Same here.

I thought that he had all the shit laid out so it could be alright.

But after seeing the casting , him changing some plot points and the pronunciation of the main character's fucking name because hes still butthurt about how they pronounced his name incorrectly as a child I started to have severe doubts.

[BlueTsunami]

M.Night has to be working some angle, right? I cannot fathom the shit he's pinched out recently when compared to Invincible and Sixth Sense (not masterpieces but not The Village/Signs/Avatar levels bad).

[Smooth Groove]

M.Night has to be working some angle, right? I cannot fathom the shit he's pinched out recently when compared to Invincible and Sixth Sense (not masterpieces but not The Village/Signs/Avatar levels bad).

So awesome that you can't even remember the name. 

[BlueTsunami]

M.Night has to be working some angle, right? I cannot fathom the shit he's pinched out recently when compared to Invincible and Sixth Sense (not masterpieces but not The Village/Signs/Avatar levels bad).

So awesome that you can't even remember the name. 

Sheeit. I got Mark Wahlberg on the brain. UNBREAKABLE.

[Great Rumbler]

On the upside, when The Last Airbender is released on DVD in a few months it'll be accompanied by a really great Rifftrax.

[Beezy]

SMFH, I'll just pretend that this doesn't exist. I guess I'll just take my nephew to see Toy Story 3 and The Karate Kid.

[Himu]

Beezy, the karate kid is fantastic.

[Smooth Groove]

I feel sorry for all the middle-aged Asians who are going to have little black kids asking them to teach Kung Fu. 

[Himu]

it's better than the original

[Beezy]

Beezy, the karate kid is fantastic.

That's what I've been hearing. Plus I'm not a Will Smith family hater like most of the internets.

[Phoenix Dark]

it's better than the original

fuck you, your "I was born in the 80s" card has been revoked

[Himu]

it's better than the original

fuck you, your "I was born in the 80s" card has been revoked

You haven't seen it, have you?

- better action, the kids actually look like they KNOW kung fu
- jayden put his all into this role and you can tell. You can tell that kid learned how to fight.
- better script/dialogue
- funny as fuck
- good music
- better story and characters, the one thing the original has going for it is Miyagi  :'(
- better music
- better editing, the editing is fantastic
- better cinematography

the only thing that the original does better than the "remake" (and I use this loosely), is that it's easier to cheer for Ralph since he's a teenager, than Dre, who's a pre-teen. Ralph gets the girl, gets a car, and gets a life due to his friendship and mentorship from Miyagi. Dre is too young to get all that. I mean, there's a girl involved, but who wants to see two pre-pubescent kids kiss? It's a lot easier to swallow a teenage relationship between Ralph and that one chick in the original though.

But beyond that, the remake is better in every single way.

I especially recommend it from an editing standpoint. The fights are fantastic.

Surprise movie of the summer.

[Fresh Prince]

You just like the new one because the protagonist is black.

[Himu]

Watch the original and how the characters (particularly Ralph) are awkward in their karate and then watch the remake and how much finesse the kids have in that movie.

There's no comparison.

[Fresh Prince]

Nobody is accusing you of being racist. I mean you just identify better with the character because he's black. It's understandable, himu.

[Himu]

I identify with the movies anyway, as someone who was teased as a child, so the color of the skin is irrelevant.

[Fresh Prince]

Sarcasm 

[Himu]

[Great Rumbler]

I saw it tonight and can report back with confidence that the reviewers weren't wrong. While it is not perhaps as offensively bad as The Happening was, it nevertheless is absurdly boring. So many things happen that don't really make much sense, there are tons of characters that I care nothing about because none of them have been properly developed, and there's absolutely no connection between the scores of scenes that litter the film like casually discarded orphans. The dialog is unbearable and aided by stiff, awkward acting. The final battle at the end is the most putrid excuse for a battle scene in the history of film, it must be seen to be believed. The plot is riddled with holes and the plot that does make sense is spoon-fed through carefully staged bouts of exposition that are repeated ad naseum. The art of bending itself is completed distinguished mentally-challenged in the live-action realm, it just looks idiotic and laughable whenever a battle strikes up and people bend against each other.

This is a bad movie and M. Night should feel bad for making it.

[Cheebs]

I really liked his first 3 films but he has become (or always was and it is just now more obvious) such a pompous asshole who is full of himself (his remarks basically dismissing the criticism of airbender in nymag was hilarious) and the fact his last few movies have been so bad have made me never want to watch his old films anymore. He retroactively ruined them.

And wtf is with the Christopher Nolan hate? He is the only big blockbuster director who does consistently good movies imo. I honestly can't think of a single other director working in the world of big budget blockbusters that is as good as him. I am struggling to come up with even one other name. Who else is even out there? James Cameron, Jon Favreau, J.J. Abrams, Michael Bay? The competition is pretty weak, it isn't the 80's anymore.

[Phoenix Dark]

Nolan is the new Kubrick!

[Cheebs]

The people at GAF saying stuff like that make me almost not want to be a Nolan fan. Nolan is the best blockbuster director out there right now but that's it. Blockbuster director.  He isn't Kubrick. He isn't even a Tarantino. But like I said the competition is horrible. Most of the directors doing huge summer blockbusters are hacks doing workman like forgettable stuff.

Cuaron could very well break in that club though. Warners is giving him a huuuuuge budget for his big 3D Imax sci-fi epic.

[Phoenix Dark]

What makes him the best blockbuster director? TDK? Certainly not BB. Using these standards, Peter Jackson is the best considering the LOTR films are better than TDK.

Memento is his best film by far

[Cheebs]

What makes him the best blockbuster director? TDK? Certainly not BB. Using these standards, Peter Jackson is the best considering the LOTR films are better than TDK.

Memento is his best film by far

I'd agree with you on Jackson. 8 years ago. If we are going by blockbuster directors based on their best work not most recent work then hell Spielberg would win as would endless others. I meant Nolan is the best, circa 2010.

Peter Jackson after King Kong and Lovely Bones kind of seemed to have lost it. Nolan runs circles around post-LOTR Jackson.

And I agree. Memento > Batman Begins > The Dark Knight > The Prestige > Following.

[Phoenix Dark]

King Kong could have been a great film if it was edited better. Still, it's a decent flick, certainly nothing that ruins his status.

Haven't seen Lovely Bones but it's not a blockbuster film, so it doesn't count.

[BlueTsunami]

Inception is gonna' be so good

[Cheebs]

King Kong could have been a great film if it was edited better. Still, it's a decent flick, certainly nothing that ruins his status.

Haven't seen Lovely Bones but it's not a blockbuster film, so it doesn't count.

King Kong is decent but Nolan's recent work is far far better. Even you have to admit Inception will probably be better than King Kong.

Do you at least agree that for the most part the group of "blockbuster auteurs" is pretty damn weak compared to earlier generations? At one point we had a time where Spielberg wasn't all over the map, Ridley Scott & James Cameron still knew how to direct decent movies, Tim Burton before he began to suck Johnny Depp's cock, a George Lucas who knew he couldn't write and direct so he wrote great story outlines and gave them to other filmmakers to put to screen....etc.

Now? We have Nolan and a Peter Jackson who is seemingly not as good as he once was. Not really much to write home about. Though a lot of people are worshiping J.J. Abrams as the second coming of Steven Spielberg. I liked Trek, Fringe, & Lost and am curious about Super 8....but no.

But Nolan is all I have faith in anymore in this genre of sorts. Inception will be good, the trailers and tv spots are too fantastic for me not to expect something special.

[Himu]

I saw this movie last night and it sucked shit. Even as a fan of a cartoon, if you forget it's an adaptation for a minute it sucks shit.

Worst movie I've seen in theaters in years

[Phoenix Dark]

Liar! You said multiple times you didn't like Lost, sir.

But yea I agree with your overall points. With Jackson finally agreeing to direct The Hobbit, I'm sure he'll be back on his feet soon. And while I think it will be a good film (dunno about a good adaption), it sucks seeing him getting bogged down by one franchise.

Inception is going to be awesome no doubt. And I'd imagine the third Batman will be good at the very least.

[Cheebs]

Liar! You said multiple times you didn't like Lost, sir.

But yea I agree with your overall points. With Jackson finally agreeing to direct The Hobbit, I'm sure he'll be back on his feet soon. And while I think it will be a good film (dunno about a good adaption), it sucks seeing him getting bogged down by one franchise.

Inception is going to be awesome no doubt. And I'd imagine the third Batman will be good at the very least.

I grew bored of Lost. I respected it as well made though. And a fantastic concept, which he was responsible for.

As for other directors in this field, I am curious to see if Spielberg can redeem himself with Tintin next year. I am not a big fan of these pure mocap movies but that's been a passion project of his going back to the early 80's and a script by the head writer of Doctor Who & Edgar Wright. M. Night will probably never redeem himself on the other hand.

[Phoenix Dark]

If Spielberg ever redeems himself, I doubt it will be through Tintin. I haven't heard anything that sounds interesting about it. I'm more interested in his return to sci-fi, as well as the Lincoln flick that might never get made.

[Cheebs]

If Spielberg ever redeems himself, I doubt it will be through Tintin. I haven't heard anything that sounds interesting about it. I'm more interested in his return to sci-fi, as well as the Lincoln flick that might never get made.

He is doing one of his famous drama/blockbuster split of two movies in the same year next year. His drama for next year though is War Horse which sounds like everything wrong with the overly sentimentality of Spielberg movies. A boy in WWI loses his poney and has to venture across the battlefield in Europe to reunite with his lost animal pal. It will shed tears of all with Spielberg's over-the-top sentimentality.  :'(

I've all but given up hope he'll ever do Lincoln. Hell, maybe Lucas will redeem himself first. He sacked that Wire director from that tuskegee airmen WWII movie he was producing and took over directing himself afterall. 

[Phoenix Dark]

The cast of the Tuskegee film is disappointing. There have to be better black actors than Method Man who can bring that story to life. Oh well, at least it'll have some awesome battles no doubt

War Horse sounds lol-worthy.

I remember when I used to obsess over every bit of info on M Night's next film. Really seems like his career is about over now, what a shame.

[Great Rumbler]

Well, it's not an utter bomb, but The Last Airbender's already being crushed by bad word of mouth.

$16 million on Thursday
$16 million on Friday
$14 million on Saturday
$9 million on Sunday

http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=daily&id=lastairbender.htm

[Great Rumbler]

Now about Nolan, the dude is my favorite recent director. Sure whenever I posted about him on GAF it was with all of Nolan-Age splooging and shit, but I know he isn't the best ever and shit. But I have to say I love all of his movies except for Following which I just liked, dude has yet to put out a real stinker.

I really want to see Inception is what I'm saying.

Yeah, same here. I've liked all of his movies, some more than others, but I don't think he's the best director currently working or anything over-the-top like that. He's a good director that at least TRIES to make his big budget action movies more than just explosions and hot girls [like some directors do]. If people don't like him, well, that's their deal.

[The Fake Shemp]

He's easily one of the best tentpole directors working today, but it's like, an entire generation raised on shit has found a filmmaker that doesn't completely pander to the lowest common denominator and has placed him on a pedestal. You might find this hard to believe, but he is not the only filmmaker to ever do so.

[Great Rumbler]

He's easily one of the best tentpole directors working today, but it's like, an entire generation raised on shit has found a filmmaker that doesn't completely pander to the lowest common denominator and has placed him on a pedestal. You might find this hard to believe, but he is not the only filmmaker to ever do so.

I think this is part of the reason why Pixar gets so much love. Not to say that their movies don't have their merits, because they certainly do, but just look at what they're competing against.

[Great Rumbler]

I'd probably go with the Coens as my personal favorite among directors still making movies.

[Smooth Groove]

I have a feeling that Inception is gonna be the unofficial Matrix 4.  Hope I'm wrong.  

[Great Rumbler]

I have a feeling that Inception is gonna be the unofficial Matrix 4.  Hope I'm wrong.  

Everything I've seen makes me think more of the first Matrix movie, much more so than the sequels. Also, Paprika.

[Great Rumbler]

I'm pretty sure the movie will be great or at least decent, I'm just not sure it will be the huge blockbuster WB is hoping for.

It's always hard to tell with this kind of thing. But this summer's been pretty down thanks to some underperforming, mediocre blockbusters, so maybe a good blockbuster will get people in the seats. Or it ends up confusing people and they stay away. Who knows?

[Smooth Groove]

Who knows?  People are dumb in general.  No way a film like Iron Man 2 deserves to make that much.  Hollywood just convinced the sheep that it was AAA material. 

[The Fake Shemp]

I think it could be pretty huge.

There is a large segment of the population, especially older viewers, that are starving for some quality entertainment. It's no surprise that the box office numbers have dropped; the output has been terrible this year. If you're in your twenties and older, you don't want to see half this shit. Especially not at current ticket prices.

Really, for adults, there is not much competing against Inception at the box office, in terms of a mature tentpole flick. Everything has been bang-bang films, action team flicks or a smorgasbord of Hot Topic merchandise.

I think it's a sad state of affairs when most folks my own age (or older) have conceded that Toy Story 3 is the best film they have seen this year. That might still be the case after Inception (who knows if it'll be good, I'm always wary when a director is given complete control), but that just goes to show that there is a big opportunity for Inception at the box office.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think in this environment, Inception is almost counter-programming. I can't say that Warner Bros. is doing a poor job with marketing. I think they are hitting the right demographics.

It won't be a front-loaded venture, like Iron Man 2, where I expect it set records its first weekend out. But if it's good, it will pull people to the theaters and Nolan has a decent track record for releasing stuff with legs.

[Cheebs]

(who knows if it'll be good, I'm always wary when a director is given complete control)

That's my one fear right now. Not only did he direct it himself, wrote it completely on his own (had co-writers on Batman, Memento, & Prestige), produced it completly on his own but he ended up doing all the second unit work himself as well for once since he has such free reign.  Steven Spielberg once said refusing to allow a second unit director do work on a film is a sign of someone with too much control over a film.

But we'll see, I still expect great things. But when a director is no longer surrounded by others helping out or giving advice you tend to get bloated self-serving movies, even from great directors. Inception's trailers look fantastic though so maybe Nolan didn't fall into that trap.

[The Fake Shemp]

I really liked it, Cheebs' hyperbole aside. One of the few films I watched and felt completely satisfied with.

... and to be fair, Cheebs, I don't think Nolan has ever really used a second unit director (he's had assistant directors). He likes to maintain that sense of intimacy from his indie days. The lack of a collaborative writing and producing process is what scares me more than anything.

[Smooth Groove]

How much help did Nolan get for The Prestige?  I thought it was a very mediocre film. 

[Cheebs]

How much help did Nolan get for The Prestige?  I thought it was a very mediocre film. 

Pretty solid little movie I thought, lower tier Nolan (although that isn't saying too much) but one of the better movies that year. Haven't seen it since I saw it in theaters though. He wrote that with his brother and there were producers other than himself involved. Inception is written and produced by him solo.

[The Fake Shemp]

I really, really like The Prestige. And while it was co-written by his brother, it also had the divine hand of studio interference involved (other writers touched it). That was before he got the golden ticket that was The Dark Knight, and was basically given carte blanche for Inception.

[Smooth Groove]

I forgot what I said exactly after watching it but it had to do with being disappointed that the film didn't deliver on the promise of a duel between two great magicians.  

[Cheebs]

Even if Inception isn't THAT huge I suspect Nolan will still have free reign to do whatever he pleases for a while. He is doing Batman 3 for WB and helping them attempt to revive Superman (not sure what his involvement is in that though) after all. As long as he is doing that WB will give him a free pass. But that won't last forever if he can't do a big money maker that isn't a comic book franchise.

[The Fake Shemp]

He's going to get an Exec Producer credit for Supes, on account of being the liaison for David Goyer. I'm not sure if Goyer had the clout to ever reboot the franchise by himself, saddling up with Nolan was a smart move. Plus, I think Nolan is going to have a hand in who is actually picked as the proper caretaker.

[Cheebs]

I think he'll overlook everything, read the script and choose the director and shit.

He'll have a hand in casting I am guessing. During the press stuff for Inception he says he'd like to see it be like the original Superman film and his Batman films in that they fill out the smaller roles with well known respected actors.

Though I am guessing Warners is far more interested in being able to put "CHRISTOPHER NOLAN PRESENTS" in the trailers than any input he may actually have.